Son Peeing His Pants!

I would not punish him. A suggestion since he has been potty trained....put the pullups over the big boy underpants at home. It will minimize the mess but he will still feel wet from the big boy pants being next to his skin, so it will be uncomfortable which is what you are after enough discomfort so it stops and he will still know when it happens and it can be addressed. It might be worth a try. I had a girlfriend who suggested this to me it worked for her and it helped me.

Boys are extreamly hard to potty train. He is still pretty young.... I would not punish him and not make a big deal out it. Simply tell him, ok, accidents happen, but lets try to tell mommy when you have to go. Punishing them and making a big deal out of it, makes the kids self conscious and it is then harder for them to go.

A lot of 3 and even 4 year olds go through this. I definitely wouldn't punish him! Not only is it not fair but may turn this into a long battle. Something's going on with him, even if he's just not quite ready to feel so grown-up yet. I'd keep things very positive, give him lots of attention at other times, don't push him too much to be a big boy, and be as casual and unexcited about these "accidents" as you can. Let him take as much responsibility as he can for changing his clothes. Obviously you'll have to be involved, especially if there's poop. Just play it down - no big deal. Accidents happen. It will pass if you don't make too much of it. Punishment is the absolute worst thing you can do!

I guess I would wonder how much he was doing this is it every time he goes at home or does he still use the potty at home part of the time. Is it every night and on the weekends are we talking 3 or 4 times a week or 3 times a day. The reason I wonder is because if it is just a few times a week then they are probably just accidents and he just needs to be reminded to go and reminded that accidents mean he was trying to get to the potty but just didn't make it in time and that is diferent then choosing not to go on the potty. If he seems to be doing this by choice then it could be a control/ power struggle issue and then I would make it clear that what he was doing was not okay and that he would have to cleanup himself and if that doesn't work I would resort to taking big boy privlages away. We had a struggle with my son and once we stuck to our guns and he learned that he got good things when he was a big boy and lost those things if he wasn't we had no problems. Good luck.

Have you tried putting him on the potty more often and asking him to go pee or poop instead of waiting for him to ask, that should cut down on accidents. It may just be that he doesn't want to come away from what he's doing. At pre-school and daycare they tend to potty at certain times, you could find out what those times are and maybe do it at the same times when he's at home. I always ask my boys to go potty after meals, before we start any kind of project or go out to play, if they want to watch a movie etc they have to go potty before. They both ask to use the toilet all the time now when they need to but this just helps prevent any accidents because they are too "into" whatever they are doing.
Good luck, I know it can be frustrating when they regress a little but it does happen to most kids at some point and it will pass.

When he does it, are you having him clean himself up? Usually kids won't want to clean up poop more than once.

Good luck.

S.

Hi N.! I agree with the other moms are saying....I wouldn't punish him. 6 months is not that long ago and a lot of things can cause that regression. I have a 14year old and an 11 year old then I have the baby who is 17months. So, I have been there with the boys and potty training :o) I tried with both of them to get them trained in their 2's and it didn't work. I actually stopped with both of them and then trained them when they were just at 3years old. "They" say boys do it later often than girls. One thing I noticed with my boys was that they would have a lot of accidents at home and I think it's because they were so busy playing and everything. My oldest one did take to peeing in the TRASH CAN!! LOL He did get punished for those times!! I would say leave him in the underwear (EWWWW---but I think putting the pull ups on may be regressing and would be a last option for me) and I would say find new ways to go over the top with the positive awards for him going in the potty. Buying special underwear, like Batman if he loves Batman or Spiderman, etc will sometimes work too, they don't want to soil their "special" underwear. Just try to praise praise praise him when he does it well and try to ride this out, nothing with kids is perfect (I'm sure you have figured that out) and every child is different. Try not to stress too much about "what" is causing it and see if you can get a handle on it. If you have concerns at all about daycare or school, talk to him about it, they are very open at this age and will express themselves, maybe not the way we would, but you will know if something is up by the things he says. GOOD LUCK!!!

I would really exhaust your options before punishing him. Get a visit with your Ped and see if there is something medical or psychological going on before you jump to the conclusion that he needs punishment. I completely understand your frustration. I would just hate to see him being punished for something that might be out of his control. If the ped gives you a green light to reprimand, then I would follow his advice. But, also in my experience the little girl I babysat still occasionally wet herself and she was 4... I think it might be pretty normal to have occasional issues.

No, you shouldn't punish him for this. That will set him back. You may just need to go back to more supervision at home. Things are pretty structured at school so he doesn't have to worry about going on demand. He may also be distracted. There can be a lot of things at this age. Just return to taking him to the potty regularly and hopefully that will get him back on the right tack. Good luck!

N.,
It sure isn't any fun cleaning up those messes, but it could be that he really doesn't mean to do it. Maybe it hasn't happened at daycare because of the time of day. (some people poop at about the same time everyday, r/t when they eat, etc).
Anyway it would be a shame to punish him if that is the case.
I guess if it was me, I would have him wear pull-ups for awhile, and then try having him sit on the toilet on sort of a schedule. (like every couple of hours have him try to go).
Then reward him with stickers or something for every day he goes without an accident.
I don't think there is anything wrong with letting him know that you are disappointed when he has an accident. Also make sure he understands the "up" side of being the big brother. Like all the things big boys get to do that babies/toddlers don't get to do. Special time with dad doing big boy stuff might be enough of an incentive to make him try harder.
Good luck! You sound like a great mom!

My son potty trained himself around 2 1/2--we were thrilled. Until he decided he'd rather wear diapers like his baby sister around 4-5 months later. We were very frustrated and at first, thought we SHOULD punish him. Instead,we just put him back in pull ups and that's what he wore until this past July. He didn't get fully potty trained again until he was 3 1/2. He will be 4 in July, so it was frustrating. We had to be patient, loving, and understanding. Realize that 3 year old boys brains function a lot differently than our brains do and that we may not be able to understand why they do what they do. Good luck! :)

I am not going to be much help with this. I have triplets who are almost 6 1/2. My son Logan was totally potty trained at 3, day, night everything....for about 4 months and then it all stopped. I am still having problems with him today at 6 1/2. Looks like I need to take him to the dr and try and figure out what is going on.

N.,

Don't take something away that isn't related to the issue. Make the dirty/wet pants his issue. After he has an accident, have him take his dirty/wet pants to a designated and/or inconvenient area (we used a basket behind the door in the laundry room) and put clean ones on. Then he goes back to the spot where he had the accident and practices. You say, "OH! You have to go pee-pee! Quick, get to the bathroom!" and then he pulls his own pants down, pretends to do business and then pulls his own pants up. Then go practice at least 3 times.

I used the method, 'Toilet Training in less than a Day' by Azrin and Foxx. This was the suggestion for accidents. They suggested 10 times of practice for the accident but it was way too much for my 3 year old and we had lots of tears (both his and mine). 3x was the magic # for us. I swear by this method! It really works! And your 22 mo. old is just about the right age to start it too. Try the book! You'll love it!

Good luck! It's no fun having to clean up these messes for mommy. Hang in there!!

:o) G.

Do not punish him. It's not his fault and I doubt he would be able to correlate the cause to the effect. If anything you could make it worse by adding shame to an already confusing (and involuntary) experience. Be patient and supportive. Try going back to a sticker chart and reward him with a sticker only when he goes in the potty. Maybe set a timer and have him "try" at regular intervals to help remind him. I'm sure it will resolve itself in a very short amount of time. Good luck!

No, don't punish him! Toilet training can have a lot of emotional connections so I'd tread somewhat lightly, and try to be CALM. I'd suggest putting pullups back on. Not to shame, but to keep things clean, "just until you remember again" I bet he'll remember pretty quickly. I'd say, "it seems we have had some accidents and I don't want your clothes dirty, so we'll use the pull ups again for while. As soon as we go a day w/o an accident, we can go back to the big boy pants. I'm sure you'll be back in them soon because you're a big boy and this is just a little problem." My kids all trained right after their 3rd birthdays so its not really unusual.

Hello N., I would bet that there is something going on at preschool or daycare that is causing this regression. If there is, he wouldn't do it at those places, it would happen at home where he is more comfortable and relaxed, less tensed up. It could be something as simple as not being able to go potty without permission at preschool, causing him to hold it, then at night, he jsut can't hold it any longer. I would recommend talking to the teacher and asking to help in the preschool classroom one day very soon, so that you can see the structure and make sure that there aren't any kids picking on him. Also talk to the daycare and ask if there are any new routines or any new kids that he might be having conflicts with, but I would bet that it is the stress of going to preschool.

Even if he loves it, it is still stressful, just remember your first day of college. Put the pullups back on for at home. Volunteer in the class. Start reminding again. Make sure that he is getting enough sleep, might need just that little bit more. Please don't punish, I am sure that he is just as upset, and probably doesn't know why it is happening.