Son Is Pooping as an Excuse to Get Back Out of Bed at Night

Updated on December 04, 2008
K.C. asks from Bennington, NE
9 answers

I'm looking for suggestions. My son is 2 1/2 and has been potty trained (days only) for quite a while. He still pees in the middle of the night so he sleeps in a pull up. He always tries to find excuses to get out of bed... he needs water, he dropped his blanket, etc... Well, his new one is that he pooped. He will wait until he's been in bed for 5-10 minutes and then he poops and gets up. This is getting very frustrating and my husband and I are at a loss on what to try. We've tried making him sit on the toilet and try pushing before he goes to bed, but sometimes he really doesn't have to go. Since he's been potty trained for at least 6 months we know he knows better. Any ideas?

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K.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Maybe he isn't doing it as an excuse to get out of bed.
Maybe he needs the quiet and privacy to poop.

Would you be able to poop if someone was watching you and telling you to push?

Try to make his potty/poop time before bed more private. Leave him alone in the bathroom and give him a book to read.

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L.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son tried this too. We just started to get ready for bed earlier. This way, even with a poop to clean up, he was still getting to bed "on time" according to our schedule. Somehow this made it less frustrating to me knowing that he was still down when I wanted him to be! Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Omaha on

He may be a little constipated, when my son was about that age he had been potty trained for 6 months and started going poop in his pullup at nap time and sometimes at night. He was very up set by it and would tell me as soon as it happened. The only thing i could figure out was that he was having problems going and it wasn't until he was completely relaxed was he able to go completely, he was only going a tiny bit in the potty when he went.

I just added more fruit juice and high fiber food to his diet and he quit pooping in his pull up with in two weeks. Even now he is almost 4 and if he doesn't have at least two glasses of juice a day he gets backed up and the same thing started to happen but he has better control and wakes up and make it to the bathroom before he goes in his pants.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Start putting him to bed 30 to 45 minutes earlier. Then, when he gets up and goes potty, he is still going to sleep at the time you want.

I would not tell him "no" or discourage him from getting up to go to the bathroom. You just spent weeks, possibly months, training him to tell you when he has to go to the bathroom.

There is a chance that he really can't poop before bed. The pressure is on, so to speak, right before bed, when you are asking him to go on command. Laying down probably relaxes him, and makes it possible for him to go.

This too, shall pass.

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M.J.

answers from Omaha on

We just went through this tonight!(except ours is to get out and pooh on the potty) He used to do it for pee, and I finally made a rule, only one trip to the bathroom after storytime, then that's it. But now since we are working hard at the pooh, he's discovered that he can get out several times for that! I think he made it last for three trips to the potty tonight. I guess I'm gonna have to put up with it til he's doing really good on the potty, then start that rule back up. I'm anxious to see what everyone else said about it. oh, and by the way, I don't doubt you at all that he's doing it on purpose. But sometimes you have to let him out to do it anyways.

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L.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Most kids have a poop schedule. It is usually 45 minutes after meals, but not always. You could try having dinner earlier to see if that helps him have to go sooner than bed time. Or if you really want to discipline him, I would have him clean himself up. He would just have to tear the side of the pull up, wipe himself, throw it in garbage, and wash up his hands. He could do that. I think it is too early to totally put him to bed without a pull up. My daughter is 3 and even though she is trained during the day and goes potty before bedtime she still wakes up wet. She sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night, but does not go to the bathroom, and I think she is just too groggy and does not realize that is what she is supposed to do. My four and 1/2 year old boy though has been trained at night completely without accidents for about a year. Boys have trouble with the pooping. Both my 11 year old and 4 year old boys had no problem being trained to pee in the potty, but when it came to pooping it was a nightmare. Once they figure it out though it is smooth sailing. I think my oldest was 4 1/2 before he stopped pooping himself! My daughter once she figured out the peeing thing had no problems, but of course she sits down to do both:) Good luck!

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N.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would stop having him wear a diaper/pullup for bed time. Just get rid of them completely.
But always continue having him use the bathroom before bed.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

come on, really? would you rather he poop his pants and stay in bed? possibly causing poop to squish out of his pants and all over? or would you rather he stay in bed and spread the poop on every surface he can touch?

kids dont sit around thinking "how can i get ___"
sometimes they just have to poop. you cant make him poop if hes not ready, and theres nothing you can do about it - if he has to poop he has to poop! at least he tells you right? would you rather he not tell you at all? im so confused as to what you are complaining about.

perhaps you need to put him to bed a half hour earlier or something so that you have more time to yourself, yet he can still have his routine, and you get more of a break.
what you can try to see if you can change his pooping habits is to give him some milled flax and plenty of water sometime in the morning. this should help things get moving, and maybe rearrange this pooping at bedtime schedule.

but most of all, mom, have patience, and be grateful that hes telling you. there are much worse things he could be doing with the poop. dont get mad at him, he cant do anything about when he has to poop. i can assure you, as a child care provider, who has taken plenty of classes on childhood development, your son is not doing it in a manipulating way. its just his time to poop.

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R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son (also 2.5) has been doing this exact same thing for naps AND bedtime. As soon as we leave the room, a couple minutes later " Mommy, I went poopy" and needs a diaper change. It is very frustrating and is DEFINITELY a way to get out of bed (not that I blame the little guy, he is upstairs alone until his older sister goes to bed 30 minutes later, so I understand he is lonely, but its bedtime) so I am interested in your responses! Before this, it was " I need water" before that it was " I see a ladybug, I need to come downstairs" and before that it was " I am scared I want to come downstairs".

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