My son is 3 1/2 months old. He has been both breastfed and bottle-fed from day 1. He has been able to switch back and forth easily, no "nipple confusion". Right now, he is exclusively breastfed 4 days/week. He receives a bottle 3 days/week, when I work outside of the home. When he is bottle-fed, it is both breast milk and formula. When he is awake, he eats every 2 to 3 hours. He sleeps for 10-12 hours at night already, without waking up.
The last few weeks, when he is breastfed, he will latch on and suck for a minute or two, and then he will spit my nipple out. He will latch on again, suck just a few times, and then spit it out again. He gets increasingly frustrated and fussy as it goes on.
For awhile, he wouldn't do this if I breastfed him while laying down. I don't know what the connection was there--the only thing I could think of was he is starting to teethe, and maybe that position put less pressure on his gums. Now, he does it even then, and it is getting worse.
I'm not using lotions or soaps on my breast. My milk output is the same when I pump, and when I squeeze my breast while feeding him, milk does shoot out. He has 5-8 wet diapers/day, which I understand to be normal for a baby his age.
There has been no change when he takes a bottle. He doesn't fuss at all and he takes the bottle just fine.
Tonight, he refused my breast and screamed for an hour when I tried to put him to bed. I finally gave him a bottle of breast milk. He drank 2 oz. like he was starving, and went right to sleep.
I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this before, and what might be the problem? I am wondering if his gums are really bothering him, and somehow the bottle is easier for him to suck on? If he prefers a bottle, I don't have a huge issue with it, as I can use a breast pump, but expressing my milk gets to be so time consuming.
Thank you everyone for your responses. I took some of your tips, as well as some info off of La Leche League's website, and put them to use... To start out, I just sat down and told him that I wanted us to have a better nursing relationship. For 1 day, when I breastfed him, I stripped us both from the waist up, to have the skin-to-skin contact. I massaged my breasts to let-down *before* he latched on. I am under a lot of stress right now, so I really made an effort breathe deeply and do some imagery while breastfeeding. Also, I think I had been letting him go too long between feedings. I am offering him the breast more often. All that stuff combined seems to have worked because we are back on track just a couple of days later. Thanks!
My daughter does that when I don't let down right away. Sometimes it takes me a minute or two so I take a break and alternate between the breast and the pacifier until I let down so that she doesn't become so upset. I have to remember to stay calm, count to ten and relax. The baby may be sensing some tension you're experiencing?
I just experienced this with one of my twin boys. He refused to nurse, after doing so very well for 7.5 months. We always used a combination of nursing and bottling as well. I thought he was just refusing me (crying very hard when I tried to nurse) because the bottle was easier, but after a few days I decided to call the doctor. She had me bring him in and we found that he had fluid in his ears. My doctor explained that it was probably the more horizontal position of breast feeding that put more pressure on his ears, therefore causing him more discomfort than taking a bottle. Also, it is harder for a baby to breast feed, so even it they use the same position as bottling, it is more work and more pressure. You might want to check with your pediatrician before assuming it's due to laziness or anything else. My boy is now back to nursing most of the time, and his ears feel better too.
I had a terrible breast infection when my son was 9 months and had to stop breast feeding. He would scream and scream. So I broke down and poured my heart out to him. Much to my surprise he was fine after that.
I am a huge proponent of communicating what is in your heart from your heart. The can just feel your compassion and they need that so much. He might be mad, or sad, or confused... or as other have said, a lazy eater. You are the only one who knows how you want to parent through what ever challenges your family has : )
Be careful not to shame, guilt or manipulate... they are all ways of controlling. People, kids included don't like to be controlled. My sister bit my mom on her nipple and my mom screamed loud. My sister didn't eat for a couple of days!!!! My mom said it was much like wooing a lover back. Maybe spending some quality time together- not in routine- but take a some separate moments out to be with him on his terms and just be there with him. What ever you decide, make a plan and be consistent!
The breast is such a portal for not only food, but for everything at that age... this is early patterning time and anything is possible, but their are realities too.
You are doing an excellent job, and juggling a lot. stay calm, and be open, the story will work it self out as it will.
I dunno. good luck.
peace.
I know my daughter was a preemie and it was 10x easier for her to bottle feed vs. breast feed. So I pumped for awhile. My daughter had to learn to suck because of being a preemie and it was nothing for her take a bottle. I'm guessing it's just to much work for your son he's realized bottles are easier and faster.
Breastfeeding is more work than bottle feeding, so once the child realizes the difference he is more likely to gravitate to the easier one and refuse the other. Babies are very smart. It doesn't take them long to figure out the path of least resistance. You may be on the road to giving up nursing already. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Someone should have warned you of that possibility before you used a bottle.
Been there, done that SAHM of seven
I had similiar problems but it was when my babies were around the 9-10 month time frame. The reason for them was that my milk supply went down and the let down reflex didn't happen right away so they had to work at getting the milk as opposed to the bottle. So they would fuss because they didn't get the milk immediately that caused me to stress out and prevent the milk from letting down evenmore. It was a vicious cycle.
I don't know what to tell you. You might want to try and stimilate your nipple prior to him latching on so that it's to the point of letting down and then stick him on there. Either way if you want to continue to breastfeed you should probably contact a lactation specialist or someone from la leche league (sorry about the spelling).
Good Luck
Maybe your son doesn't like your letdown when breastfeeding. Maybe its too forceful and he doesn't have that problem with the bottle. I had a problem with letdown with my son when he was under 2 months. La Leche League suggested de-latching him when I felt my letdown begin and letting it express into a towel or burp cloth. After letdown, re-latch. Worked for us when my little guy was having trouble.
You could also make sure the nipple flow rate (size) you use on the bottle is the closest to what you could guess he gets while breastfeeding. Maybe one is way different than the other and he prefers the bottle's rate of flow.
My oldest son did the same thing at the same age. He liked the bottle better because it was faster and easier. He had good reason to feel that way--we had many problems in our nursing experience, including chronic thrush and recurrent mastitis. I was also in the process of weaning him to go back to work and once he started getting more bottles he just decided that was what he liked best. All babies are different and many like to assert their opinion. My youngest son was equally opinionated, but with a different opinion. At about two months he refused the bottle and never had another bottle again. He nursed until 14 months. If you want to keep nursing your son you might want to consult a lactation consult for some ideas. Good luck!
I went through this about the same time with my daughter. After talking to lactation consulants and ped., I continued to pump so she was getting the benefits of breast milk, but feeding time became a little easier.
If he is a "lazy eater", that's just the way he is... it's normal once they figure out that the bottle is easier. Don't worry about, just do what's right for you and your son. If you want to switch to formula, there are plenty of options.
Expressing can be time consuming, but at least for a few more months, I'd say it's worth it...at least most of the days :)
Good luck!!
As so many moms have already said, I had a similar experience with my girls around the same age. When I talked to my post-partum doula/lactation consultant, she told me that if this behavior continued, I'd have exclusively bottle-fed babies within a week. Since that wasn't what I wanted, she recommended I try "the 24-hour cure" (and suggested I look it up online for info). Basically, you take 24 hrs out of your life to lie in bed alone with your baby, both naked (except for the diaper), and breastfeed on demand. Any time your son acts hungry, offer the nipple. Eventually, he'll be happy enough to take it. Of course, that pretty much requires that you go cold turkey off the bottle from then on, so you may just decide that giving him your breastmilk by bottle is the best solution for you.
I would talk to your pediatrician. But, also wanted to throw out a possible reason for this recent change. My mother said that she tried breast feeding her first of 5 children and the same thing was happening. Her doctor told her that her child was not receiving enough milk from her breast to satisfy her. It is possible that your child is experiencing the same thing. When sucking from the bottle, he may be getting more milk more quickly and therefore not having to work as hard as when he is at the breast. He is old enough now to possibly know the difference between breast nipple and bottle nipple and understands that (after a brief try at the breast) the other nipple is the one giving more milk more quickly. My mother ended up switching my sister to just bottle feeding and then bottle fed the rest of her children as well. We are all healthy adults (over 40) with no known health issues from not breast feeding. On another note. I have four children and all have been bottle fed from day one. I too, have not experienced any major health issues with any of my children because of this. Not to say bottle feeding is better ..... there have been many studies that show breast feeding is the better 1st choice. However, formulas these days have all the nutrients needed. Bottle feeding, whether it is breast milk or formula, has proven in our family to be a safe and healthy alternative.
C.,
My guess is you have a lazy eater.
The bottle is much easier to drink from. As a result, eventually babies can get wise to that fact and learn to prefer the bottle over the breast.
That's one of the reasons that lactation experts suggest exclusively nursing for at least the first two weeks before introducing a bottle. It helps to firmly establish breastfeeding in order to encourage your baby not to prefer the bottle over the breast.
In this case, since your sweetie has had both worlds since the beginning, I'm afraid the ship might have sailed on this one. Even so, you might try contacting a lactation specialists to see if they have any tips. I requested assistance from one in the hospital with my daughter and the woman was a miracle worker! I haven't had any of the struggles that I hear other moms going through with the process, and I truly believe it is entirely because of what I learned from her.
Good luck!
Both my daughters did this, they didn't switch back and forth from nipple to bottle though. The lactation people I talked to told me that both girls were lazy nursers and I had way to much stress. This was proven when at night after all my stress was gone they nursed fine but I couldn't get them to nurse any other time and I don't have time to pump. So we switched to strictly formula and both girls did/are doing great! You have to do what will make your baby and you happy and make you both sleep at night. For us it was formula. Good luck!
