Socializing/Status: Flashy Appearance, Etc.

I think I understand what you're getting at.
The upper class and upper middle class people I know are really average people who don't bother with a whole lot of "stuff". They have the "go-to" little black dress with low heels and understated jewelry (for the women), and a nice suit with silk tie and classy leather shoes for the men.
When they go to polo for the night, we see the women in cute understated dresses with flats or flat sandals and the men in madras shirts and nice shorts with boat shoes. The women who dress in flashy clothes and super high heels with obnoxious jewelry are the "wanna be" or "nouveau riche". Old money doesn't flaunt it. They don't have to.
Old money drives the average upscale car (maybe a Mercedes, but they keep them forever) with only a few bells and whistles.
If I see "old money" out at the grocery store, the women are dressed in a cute skirt or nice jeans and an average top with a sweater.

They are never dressed like the Kardashians...

I see a lot of LLBean because it lasts. Especially the Bean Boots.
(I live where there are a lot of super wealthy horse people and honestly, that's where their money goes. It doesn't go into their closets.)
The wealthy women I know have a few classic pieces that they can wear anywhere. They are always understated. They always wear their dresses and skirts at the knee or just a tiny bit above. Their shoes are always classic -- and comfortable.

Their homes are lovely, but understated -- a few good quality pieces, a few knickknacks, and excellent finishes. If you ask a super wealthy person where they got their rug or their couch -- they may tell you that they got it online and saved $1000 -- and they'll tell you so! :)

Hmm, I'm confused here. They are GRAD students, not pre-schoolers. By the time I obtained my MBA, I think it was expected by the world for me to know how to interact with my peers. It wouldn't matter if I drove a beater or a brand new Benz every year...what I drive is not anyone else's business. It doesn't matter if the label on my clothes is from Wal-Mart of Macy's, as long as it's the dress code for my office. If someone is able to obtain a Master's degree and doesn't know how to interact with people on a regular basis (in or out of the office), then maybe they didn't actually pay attention in school. I would also question why the parents of these grad school ADULTS are at all concerned with how their children dress or what they drive.

This is all just weird.

Maybe you could show them an episode of Love, Lust or Run. They take ladies with outlandish tastes and show them how they can dress tastefully for different situations without completely giving up their style.

It might help for me to answer your question. If I knew what high level positions they will start with, my answer might be different. What degrees they have. Knowing the focus of there studies.

You have received many good suggestions.

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After your first so what happens. My point is there are very few societal rules about what to wear. And definitely no standard way one must dress outside the office and interviews. Even those are loose. Upper middle class and upper class dress the same way. Really we no longer have class differences. We have differences based on income. The use of classes is used for statistics. It's away to differentiate based on income. How we live depends on how much money we have.

Did these women grow up impoverished and as a result will be changing how they dress now that they have more money? Are they going to start at the top of their field and and be spending time with those higher on rank in their workplace? Will they abandon their friends and make friends with "higher class people?"You are making a whole lot of assumptions. The most important assumption is that they don't know what to wear and must dtess a certain way to move up in the company.

They are starting at the bottom and not spending time with those who are in a "higher class." They will dress as they want for leisure activities. Their co-workers will be in the same "class" as them. The "higher class" people, as defined by you, will not be spending time with them outside the work place and will not know how they dress outside of work.

Have you talked with young people to know how they think and dress. You're not going to get the women's attention if what you say is not valid for their generation.

Sounds like you're prejudiced against the "middle class," assuming people are different based on where you put boundaries between classes. And "higher class" people will look down at them unless they dress a certain way.
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I suggest that in today's world what you wear is not very important. These women will continue to dress so that they fit with their friends and the work they are doing. Each women will have their own style. The current style is more casual than when we were young women. I see many professional men wear jeans and an open collar even to work.. I am a volunteer at a historic home tour. The owners are frequently of a higher echelon. They dress the same as middle class people. We can no longer tell one's class by the way they dress

These graduates are smart and will dress in a similar way as their friends and coworkers if they even socialize with them. They may not even be wanting to climb up the ladder.Who one socializes with is based on interests and personalities. They will not immediately be a part of those who are at the top, if they ever do.

There is no standard for what to wear for various events. Just, as they have all their adult lives, they will observe and dress appropriately for the event.

I suggest telling them how to dress or to dress in a certain way because they are upwardly mobile is taking away their individual style and is not the way young people dress today. Emily Post has updated her advice. Yet, my daughter's generation doesn't know her.

I think it's likely at least some of them will be offended or laugh behind your back. Why do you think they're upwardly mobile? They are just starting a career. They may not even work in the corporate world. And whether or not they move up will be based on their work and how they work with others in the business.

Definitely there is not enough material to fill 1 1/2 hours. I can't think of any way to fill 30 minutes.

I'm middle class and I'm offended. I have spent time with those who've made it the top. They dress the same as I do. They are regular people just as I am. I feel no distinction between us. Well, they do have more money and bigger houses. Smile. When walking side by side we look the same.

There is no longer a standard way to dress for events. Go to a formal event such as a concert and you will see a few who will dress formally. Most dress casually. Some.in jeans and a t-shirt. There is a wide variety of clothes and styles. Life has become much more casual than when we grew up. I've watched old ideas for what to wear change dramatically over my lifetime. I've seen class become less important to most of us.

I suggest the women who suggested this class are of the old school. Their daughters don't listen because their suggestions are outdated and don't fit the way they live today.

I urge you to talk with some young women who have been in the work force a couple of years before giving this presentation. You want your information to be more about what is happening now. Let go of the stereotypes.

Please let us know how this works out.

ETA: what exactly are you trying to teach these kids that their parents should have been doing all this time? These parents should have been leading by example. This isn't about "class" definition or labeling. I see that you are trying to "steer" them away from labels. Obviously you feel they are Keeping up with the Kardashian's and need to be shown a better way?
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so now I have to rent or buy a car so I don't offend someone who has more money than me? Since when does having money equate to having class??

If I'm going to a party with lawyers, CEOs etc? do you honestly believe they are going to stand outside watching people drive up in their cars? Are they going to pull up the tie a man is wearing and check out the label? Or check out the label on the neckline??

This is ridiculous!!

Let's use "SHARK TANK" as an example of "successful entrepreneurs - do the sharks ask them what they drive? what they wear? NO.

This is truly mind numbing that people honestly believe that what you drive and what you wear is going to make a huge impact on someone else at a party or interview. Yeah - show me pictures of your car(s) so I can make sure your Bentley isn't as nice as my Rolls Royce. Phalease.

How about this? You tell the kids that they need to buy what they can afford? That keeping up with the Jones' will NOT bode well for them and is not financially sound. They should buy NICE, QUALITY items they can afford. And oh yeah - it does NOT have to be new!! WHAT A NOVEL CONCEPT!!! They can go to consignment shops and by "designer" clothes. They can "dress to be where they want to be" however - they don't have to break the bank to get there!!

This sounds like a Harvard thing. Northern Boston snobby. Sweet mother of God. I shudder to think what these young adults feel like they are entitled to.

Here's another thought?? MANNERS MATTER!!! Doesn't matter if you live in a trailer or in a mansion - MANNERS MATTER!!! TREAT PEOPLE WITH RESPECT - don't look down on them because they don't have the "pedigree" you have. WOW!! What a novel concept!!!

Good luck. This class is going to need it. Seems like the alumni are lacking common sense. You can't teach common sense. You can't buy it either. Please know I'm not trying to be mean - this is my opinion - and don't see how telling young adults that they must be driving Ferrari's and Bentley's and have Feragamo Salvartore shoes in order to get anywhere in life.

ETA: Dress for Success is NOT a government run program. It is a NON PROFIT that helps women get ready for careers. Women from shelters. Women from battered homes. NOT GOVERNMENT. It gets it goods from donations from people and volunteers.

Titles don't mean squat. I am the CEO of my home. ACTIONS speak louder than titles.
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you can't teach people class. oh my word...like Mountain Mama? I don't know whether to be offended or laugh.

Ditto Marda and Wild Woman.

Socializing AWAY from the workplace? Where are you meeting? In a cabin? Or at a restaurant? Cabin? okay. You might need an SUV. Restaurant? You can meet in a "beater" car and they won't know.

Clothing? Who is going to check for designer labels?

Wow. Just wow. Sounds like the alumni need to be taught a thing or two. Maybe get their noses out of the clouds?

I'm VERY surprised that grad school students need this kind of advice. Even as a Cal State undergrad (from total trailer park beginnings) I learned early on how to emulate the kinds of people I admired, including how they conducted themselves and dressed off the clock.
What kind of "graduate" school is this? I have a hard time believing that truly accomplished intelligent young women look to the Real Housewives or Kardashians for anything, especially lifestyle advice.
I guess you could do a power point, focusing on the first ladies, all of them, Michelle Obama is a perfect example, but so is/was Laura Bush, Jackie O/K, etc. Princess Diana and Kate Middleton are good examples, and celebrities like Reese Witherspoon, Ann Hathaway, Oprah, any stylish woman who doesn't need to resort to excess skin or flash to still express herself I suppose, there are many examples out there.

Is it just me or is this whole concept a bit funny?

I get you want to help them. As for filling the time, at every workshop I've been to, we have done activities by table - broken into groups. Maybe they could come up with outfits to present that they think would be appropriate attire for each of the scenarios you've mentioned here. Then the other tables/groups could comment. I would think they'd be more engaged then listening to a lecture on "What not to wear" as some moms have already mentioned too.

What's funny about people saying that wealthy people are clean, neat and tidy - I found the opposite. My very wealthy friends have dog hair everywhere, kid stuff everywhere and are too busy living the life than worrying about appearances. It's the friends I have who are trying to impress that have the spotless homes. Just my experience.

Classic staple pieces that you wear for years. Spend money on shoes, bags, etc. Neutrals. Understated. Then fun colorful things like scarves, etc.

My rule of thumb was to dress similar to my boss. Took my cues from them. Served me well.

It's stuff like this which puts a bad taste in my mouth. (added: Margie said a lot. Especially about preconceived notions about wealthy people. Thanks!)

First, most of the truly 'rich' people I know really don't treat people differently because of clothing. I've met a few flashy nouveau-riche folks who thought they were all that and you could tell, not necessarily by their clothes, but by their manner and deportment. The patronizing attitude.

One of the wealthiest women I've ever met is lovely and charming. She might wear a stunning jacket to the office Holiday Party (oh, gosh, I hate those for this very reason, we're all supposed to be impressing each other in a 'just so' fashion) but she makes an effort to know everyone's name, to say a genuine hello and spend a bit of time asking how you are doing and showing real interest. She's also a huge hockey fan, has a big smile and doesn't talk down to people.

I think awareness comes with maturity and age. You can teach them 'what to wear' but it's in feeling that discomfort of over/under dressing which tends to lead people to make better choices, in my opinion. Most people tend to self-correct, I believe, but I also think that there is way too much import placed on appearances. I live in an upper-middle class area, we are just a few blocks away from that neighborhood proper. When we started homeschooling I had an unexpected surprise in realizing what a relief it was to not have to give a thought to what the other moms thought of my appearance. Those more well-polished women who judged my appearance (I volunteered at the school a lot and dressed appropriately for it) - their minds weren't going to be changed about me no matter what I wore. I did my own thing; the reasonable, nice people are going to still treat me in a reasonable, nice way. The people that mattered, the teachers and other parents who were directly impacted by my presence-- that's who I cared about. The others.... I don't have time for that. Really, just---no.

ETA: I do like Michelle's suggestion of discussing ones use of social media. That's something that has more of an impact on people's perceptions of a person.

Marda, I agree with every word. Funny thing for me; I grew up poor. The more comfortable we have become over the years due to my husband's 'rising' in his work to a different income bracket (he wears jeans and an open-collared plaid western-style shirt to work each day and lets his department wear comfortable clothes).... the more money we have to spend on clothes, the less I seem to care about it.

I love how we explicitly tell women, not men, that it is all about appearances whether you will be taken seriously by employers and peers and then cry that we are not seen as equals.

Sorry but I was hired for the use of my brain, not my body, and I am taken quite seriously even though I dress oddly. So perhaps you should focus on empowering women to not hide their intellect rather than focusing on dress in a way pleasing to men and ugly women.

Per your what happened: Yeah, teach them how to act like new money. No one will notice that. My extended family is wealthy and powerful yet to meet them you would think they were firmly middle middle class. See when you have money and power you do not need trappings to make people believe you are wealthy and powerful. People know or those people are ignorant and then who cares, right?

What you are teaching them is to appear insecure about what they have accomplished, good luck with that.

Sounds to me like the students in this class are the type who think their s..t doesn't stink. What egomaniacs.

You can't buy class.

With the attitudes I perceive from your post, they will likely be put in their place in due time.

True successful people don't go around flaunting their success and looking down their nose at others. They live within their means, practice common sense, good manners and are respectful of people of ALL classes.

I would devote a segment of your talk to social media. I'm guessing they have been warned before but it never hurts to remind people that what they post yesterday today and tomorrow will follow them from interview to interview.

No "Don't Wear This" lectures. These are smart women, who despite limited experience in the grey territory mix of the social-professional world, likely understand that they shouldn't show up to social functions in skin-tight clothing with body parts spilling out.

You're getting WAY too hung up on the "class" thing. It isn't about that. It isn't about the brand of clothing or type of car. Each generation develops and embraces its own style, and truly, most people do not care what other people are wearing or what they drive. As far as dress, things truly have changed and become much more relaxed than in the past few decades. When I was a child, my elementary school teachers wore dresses and suits. Today, my son's teachers dress in athleisure wear.

The last thing these young women want or need is a lecture about their clothing choices by a a bunch of middle-aged women (no offense to all of the middle-aged women here. I'm one of them).

Instead, why don't you assemble a panel discussion with a mix of professional women, some of them younger, maybe 5 or so years into their careers, and allow the new grads to ask questions and have meaningful exchanges with these women? You could moderate. Ninety minutes would fly by.

It can be intimidating and confusing to enter into different social worlds, particularly if these women have not been exposed to a wide variety of social settings in their pasts.
Being able to discuss issues such as how to present themselves in social-professional situations, how to make appropriate small-talk, how to maintain that fine line between personal and professional, how and when to network, how to build, protect, and maintain their professional reputations---these things would be so much more useful than "What Not to Wear." Even adding in the social networking aspect, as another poster mentioned, would be helpful.

Your group could offer a unique and useful experience for these young women. Don't miss this opportunity by losing them after the first 10 minutes of a "What Not to Wear" lecture.

You might expand it to include how women are targeted or stereotyped in ads and marketing. There have been some short films done on this used in classes (college mostly). You can also get some good ideas by getting copies of Ms. Magazine which, for decades, has done feature on the last page called "No Comment", featuring ads that portray women in negative or degrading ways that most people don't question. They list the sponsor's address and CEO''s name, and enough women have protested that many ads have been pulled. Sometimes you have to look twice to really see how conditioned we are to accept images that show us as subservient or valued for bodies/breasts vs. brains. It's pretty enlightening.

So that can expand your talk to include how women make their clothing decisions, and what the subtle and not-so-subtle influences are. Seeing us as others do, and what those images convey, and perhaps discussing what the profit motives are in getting us to buy revealing or flashy clothes, may be more impactful than a pure "lecture", which I get you are trying to avoid. When women consumers understand how much money some male-run companies and their male top execs profit off them, sometimes they make different decisions. There was also a big protest against Abercrombie & Fitch (and I think another store - can't recall the details now) a couple of years ago that had to do with a window display that showed female mannequins as abused women - body parts stuffed in trash cans, for example. You may find resources if you research the discussions around that.

A lot of women don't realize the many outfits they can create from a small number of well chosen separates - lots of magazines have done articles on this. Showing women how to best use their fashion dollars to create looks that go from office to evening to weekend can be a very helpful primer in saving money while still being appropriate and trendy.

I do think that there is merit in a session like this, since young people/workers do not automatically know how to dress and present themselves in professional situations, and using media images as their models could be problematic. My main suggestion is to think in terms of active learning; you definitely don't want to lecture at them or cause 'death by PowerPoint, as my son calls it. You will want to come up with small group and some individual exercises which they can do analyzing various video clips and photos from real-life social gatherings of professionals, and then sharing the results with the whole group. Any footage or pictures you can find from conferences or weekend retreats of business/ academic groups might be good sources, or something from your own activities with work colleagues. Just don't feel you have to talk at them for 90 minutes--it will exhaust you and the listeners will probably tune out after about 15 minutes, if that. Good luck!

You shouldn't attend an event wearing anything you'd wear for a night of clubbing. Shorts, dresses, skirts, and shirts should all be long enough to cover your body even when you are bending over.

When adding accessories more isn't better. You'll look better if you have 1 statement piece like a bold necklace and simple bracelets and earrings or a bold earring and simple necklace. A good silk scarf can be used in many ways so google the check out videos for ideas.

You should think about location when selecting footwear. Something including walking on grass means a wedge or flats, Every woman should own a pair of red heels because those make your basic black or navy dress or suit pop.

Jewelry doesn't have to be a major investment. You can pick up used costume jewelry at tag sales, on the clearance rack, and at consignment stores. When you are only spending a couple bucks on a pin you can choose something totally different and if it doesn't work its ok. You can give it to your niece or a friend's little girl and be the coolest grown up ever.

I'm not sure if I should laugh at this or be offended by it. You are giving WAY too much thought to what 'class' people are in. Geez.

I agree 1,000% with what Marda P said.

What this really is - is a crash course of finishing school.
And they probably need something more than can be presented in one 30 minute session.
What they really need is to take a real class for this.

http://finaltouchschool.com/adults/

http://etiquette-ny.com/social-success-makeover/

I get your point.
Basically if it looks like what people wear to shop at Walmart or anything that any of the Kardashians wear - then they are in some desperate need to learn how to better present themselves.

I'm afraid I have to disagree with some other responses.
We do (and will always) have some class distinctions.
You really can blow opportunities if you behave/dress like trailer trash.

Why does what they wear on their own time matter to anyone else?

I came across a great blog the other day called The M Dash that I really liked. The blog is part of the MM.LeFleur business, which is a shopping business for professional women. The blog content covers fashion but also explores other content. One of the articles said something along the lines of "your clothing should be the least interesting thing about you," which I love reading. To me, it doesn't say to be dowdy or have no style, but to dress in a way that is flattering, comfortable, appropriate for the occasion and then let your intelligence, wit, charm, sense of humor and other interesting qualities shine. The problem with "flashy" styles are that the entire assessment of the wearer stops and ends at the outermost, superficial level. You don't get past the clingy dress or cleavage-revealing top or gaudy nail treatments, etc.

I think to maybe make the session more interactive, you could juxtapose two photos side by side of women in different environments (at a BBQ, at a cocktail party, at a golf outing, etc.) where one has the look to go for and one has the look to avoid (isn't there a pro golfer who has a trashy girlfriend? - she would be a good example of the "no" side) and have the attendees pick apart the photos and discuss among themselves what the differences are.

Maybe it would also help to show "what to wear" in addition to what not to wear...you can probably get lots of images from websites for classic retailers such as Ann Taylor and Nordstrom, J Crew, Banana Republic, etc.

You can teach them that the gaudier their clothing is, the tackier they will appear, and it will be obvious that they are "trying too hard." The Kardashians are the LAST people you should try to emulate, unless you want people to think you're a street walker. Their clothing is just ugly, not to mention, vulgar. Rich and classy people know they are rich and classy and don't need that thick gold Rolex that takes up half their arm and the shirt that says "Mark Jacobs" all over it. In fact, they want to appear low-key because that is what looks classy (not to mention, it is safer than flaunting your wealth).

Examples of a classy-looking and elegant woman would be Audrey Hepburn, Duchess Kate, Jackie Onassis, Emma Watson, Zooey Deschanel, Kate Beckinsale, Ivanka Trump, and many others. You can see what they wear to go out to dinner, cocktails, or meetings. Even Duchess Kate has worn some casual clothing like jeans, but she still looks like a million bucks. I have seen women you would consider "poor" or "low class" whose outfit was well-tailored, clean, and well-accessorized, they carried themselves with confidence and they looked much richer and elegant than the woman who stepped out of a $2 million condo with half her butt spilling out of her shorts and climbing into her new Maserati. An elegant woman will look stunning in a $30 classy dress, just as she would in a $500 dress. You want to look classic, and while you can wear a quirky vintage blouse that shows your personality, just make sure it is well accessorized and clean and your bra doesn't show through, or that ruins the elegance of it.

Here is an example of a cute weekend outfit that is still classy and youthful: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/68/80/79/688079.... Lauren Conrad has some cute, youthful classy outfits and a clothing line at Kohl's: http://cdn-wpmsa.defymedia.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3... is an example and so is http://66.media.tumblr.com/2fd19a0731b417f1f8a8835d1d1768... for something a little more formal. I think she carries herself well, her look is very understated in comparison to the tacky Housewives, but classy, fun and youthful.

Behavior also has a lot to do with it. Don't do anything your mother would be ashamed of, and don't dress in a way that your grandmother would disapprove or faint. Stop posting every stinking photo of yourself on social media (especially if it portrays you in a negative light) and treat others with respect. A rich person will always look put-together, but their clothing may come from Macy's, as does yours. It's more of a way of behaving and a confidence they have than how much your possessions cost.

As to cars, I think it was Warren Buffett that drives an old Lincoln around, and he's one the richest guys in the world. You might find this interesting: http://www.therichest.com/luxury/auto/wealthy-people-stil... By contrast, newly rich rappers are driving the flashiest cars...and going bankrupt. Buy what you can afford, and keep your car clean, presentable, and in good shape.

I think what you are looking for is an idea of how upper middle class groups present themselves in day to day life? On the west coast, it might be different, but usually people wear nice, clean outfits or active wear and then accessorize with expensive jewelry or sunglasses, watches, bags, etc. It's fairly easy to match the style by purchasing a few nice casual outfits and then getting some decent looking, trendy but classic looking accessories. No need to spend a lot, there are plenty of Target knock offs. If it is a special event, people pay more attention to their clothing and wear tailored skirts with sophisticated tops and great, trendy shoes. Or nice jeans, a cute top and some great flats. Hair style is also something to mention. Clean, often lightened, never crazy colors. Rarely are tattoos large either.

The biggest difference seems to be fit and limited, tasteful, nice accessories. Cars also seem like a thing around here, but again it's understated. Even families I know with tons of money drive new minivans and maybe have a sporty sedan. Around here it's mostly about practicality. One major difference I can see is tidiness and how they keep their environments. Almost all upper class people keep their things super clean and nice. It's interesting that I've never really thought about that until now, but that is a huge difference. Their cars are meticulous, homes are usually very clean and their clothes are pressed and nice. They pay a lot of attention to detail. I'm only going by what I have personally seen as someone with friends on each side of the tracks, per se. On either side it really is about how they spend their time and that they love their families. That is universal.

Mmm....according the the government I am in the 2% club...should I stop purchasing my fitness clothes from Walmart?

In my humble opinion, you can't teach "class". My only advice is to tell people to wear clothes that fit...for example...don't wear clothing 2 sizes too small.😝

I guess I'd tell them that it's not the car, the dress, the jewelry, the shoes, or the makeup that will send the message they want to send, or want to be received. It's the attitude, the grace, the poise. They may not be able to afford a luxury car, but they can drive their small ordinary car with their head held high. Those flashy trashy Real Housewives aren't respected for the most part. They're gawked at, mocked, parodied, and sneered at. Yes, they live in multi-million dollar mansions and have personal live-in groomers for their dogs. But they're empty inside.

I once knew someone who described a person who was generally regarded as "the coolest" guy. He was the popular guy. He was the trendsetter. But this friend of mine got to know this guy quite well, and she found out that he wasn't worth knowing. He was manipulative, angry, and shallow. She actually described him like this: "you know how when you go to a museum or attraction, and there's a life-size cardboard cutout of the person who started the place? Like at CNN, the headquarters in Atlanta. You can take the tour and then there's a life-size cardboard cutout of Ted Turner and it's a great photo. He's smiling and handsome, and people pose next to it and get their picture taken, and the photo looks like they were actually standing next to a real person. Well, that guy is like that. He looks flashy, wears awesome clothes, and he's posing just like the cardboard Ted Turner. But if you look behind him, he's about 1/4 inch thick, and he's propped up by a stand. He's a facade. Nothing more.

So tell them not to be a facade. Be genuine. Be kind.

And talk to them about making sure that their public persona matches up with their private persona. If they appear in court in a lovely suit or dress, and are well-spoken, but they go home and act trashy and post disgusting snaps of themselves licking booze off some random person's chest, someone is going to find out. Someone will make the connection and that's not the reputation they wanted. Encourage them to use great care in their free time, and online, and to bring their public and personal lives into alignment. That doesn't mean they have to sit at home stiffly, watching documentaries about forests, having a quiet cup of tea. But it might mean that they clean up their online history, and choose carefully which after-work entertainment they participate in.

I talk about this with my high school students when we study Gatsby - old money vs. new money. Your audience might like that tie-in. Daisy and Tom never really would have accepted Gatsby into their world. He tried too hard. He was too flashy. I use an essay you may want to read, too (it's not long) called "The Sociology of Grammar." It's also about moving from one social circle to another.

Personally, my husband and I both grew up in lower working class homes. Now we are in the upper middle class/lower upper class. What I've learned through the transition is that when shopping/dressing or getting my hair or nails done, quality is of the utmost importance.

I used to want several cheap dresses, but now I know it's better to buy a nice dress that is well- made. It will wear better and others will notice. I had a student tell me once that she knew I had money because I had "expensive hair."

It's the details that matter. Quality shoes, not the brand showing. Freshly painted nails, not chipped. Clothes that fit well, not clothes that almost fit and you keep them anyway.

My boss just called me yesterday and chewed me out over a FB post I made. I vented back in April and talked about wanting to quit. I talked to my boss and we worked out my issues and the other co-worker isn't bothering me anymore.

So this was over a 2 month old status update. I told her it was basically not her business what I put on my own FB page and that if someone didn't like what I posted they could simply un-friend me. That my post wasn't public and only shared with my friends.

So, in our world today our bosses DO see what we post. What we share.

IF a person truly wants privacy online they need 2 profiles. One for public, call it a professional page or business page or whatever, and one for absolutely private friends.

You will be much happier if you keep your personal life away from work and present the facade of socially acceptable stuff on another venue.

My personal page is not set where I am hidden, I can't be searched and I do not allow people to send me friend requests.