My 4 year old son begged me to play soccer so we shelled out the money and for the first class he was lost, but ran around with the other kids in the pack. Second class he was just running regardless of the pack and picking flowers. For the third class he just decided he didn't want to play - we made him stay and watch. I thought maybe he just didn't get it, so we practiced at home that week and he did great. Fourth class was last night and he refused to play again. When I ask him why he says he is too tired to play (but not too tired to play on the playground after the game).
I want him to understand that he made a commitment and needs to follow through, but at the same time I don't want this to be a big stressful fiasco that turns into him hating soccer or sports for the rest of his life. He obviously just isn't ready for it yet My thoughts are to just skip the last 4 classes and try again later with something else.
Thoughts?
I'd just take him and tell him it is up to him to decide how much he participates when he gets there. Watching is OK until he's comfortable. He's only 4, soccer might not be his thing. Tell him he can play on the playground after the game, that might motivate him to at least finish it out this year. If still puts up a fight about going, I'd probably let him be done.
what your son is doing is NORMAL! If the kids aren't picking flowers, kicking the dirt.....then they're running & playing "herd ball" instead of soccer. Four is an age for interaction, not focused competition.
I would stand strong on his commitment & don't let him be a "quitter" ! Important life skill to teach him.......Peace.
I think it's typical too. I would explain that you need to go, but as someone else said, it's up to him to play or not. I think just "quitting" does send the wrong message. However, I woudn't force him to play when you are there. I'd encourage him and maybe ask the coach for any suggestions...
I'd let the coach(es) handle it. They're used to uninterested little kids with short attention spans. Disengage yourself from him and hand him over to the coach when you take him.
We had a similar thing with my son, he really wanted to play tball so we let him, but after the first practice he said he didn't want to play because he couldn't catch the ball. We made him go to the next and he completely acted out. We then decided he wasnt ready so we pulled him from the team, we made sure he knew that he cant just quit something if it doesn't work the way he wants but that he was just not ready for this sport at the time. This year we decided to try something new and did Lacrosse, he absolutely loves it and listens to the coach and participates with everything.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you feel the season would be to stressfull with him in it don't feel like your a quitter for taking him out as long as you convey to him the reason. Some kids develop at different ages and need more time than others.
Good luck!
This post made me laugh! It is so typical for a 4 yr old to do this - also for 5 & 6 year olds. They run around like a pack on the field chasing the ball, with some, like you said, literally picking flowers or playing in the dirt. Oh, there are the ones that are there to play, but there are at least a couple to a few that do what your son does. Some will even do fine during practice then when it comes time to play the game on Saturday they just stand there :) When this happened to us we still finished out the season b/c it was a commitment and we didn't want to set a precedence. We encouraged and supported him to play and fun but didn't pressure him. It was funny after the season was over and he didn't really play or want to play he said, "I like soccer that was fun!". Go figure! Don't stress too much, just chalk it up at lesson learned.
Four more classes aren't going to make him hate sports for the rest of his life. Just look at it as a way for him to get a little exercise.
I don't think at 4 years old you need to make a big deal about the "commitment" part of it -- he tried something, and probably found out he didn't really like it. We don't know till we try things.
Have him finish it -- you spent the money -- and then give up on your dreams of having a soccer star.
In my experience, if they're not going to be a jock, they're not, and no amount of pushing them to do sports will change that.
My 5 year old did the same thing this year with t-ball. He keep asking to play and then when he started playing and practicing he would kick the dirt and throw his glove in the air...so he was not paying any attention to what was going on. I was going to make him finish because he was the one to ask to play, but he fractured his wrist 3 weeks ago and has had a cast on ever since. I think 4 more games wont scare your son off from sports.
We dealt with this with my son - who's now 6. He was excited to play soccer and then was a basketcase during practices. Crying and wanting to leave, etc... We also paid for this and explained to him that we paid money for this because he wanted to do it and he needed to finish it. The games were not fun but we made him go to the games and participate. At 4 he probably won't really understand that he's missing the last 4 games but I think it's the principal that you are setting up for him - to finish what he starts whether he likes it or not. Good luck.
Lol, I remember my son's first 2 years doing AYSO- a bunch of little kids just sort of roaming around the field in a pack, sometimes all chasing the ball at once - in the wrong direction, lol.
This is totally common. At this age, remember, your son is TRYING THINGS OUT. Unfortunately, some of those things cost money, but if you don't allow him to try it, he will never find out if he has any interest at all.
Four year olds have a short attention span, even when the spirit is willing. They get tired and bored fast- this is totally common IMO. I do see your point though about finishing what he starts and I don't think he is too young to start to learn that.
I would say tell him he only has 4 more games and he has to go to them and then soccer is done. But don't expect a lot of enthusiasm about it :)
It does sound very typical of the age. I would have him finish it up. Your job is to bring him there, his job is to decide what to do once he is there. If he claims he is too tired, I would require a quiet time just before going to soccer. He may really be tired. I would not make a big deal, I would not even talk about it. I would practice at home, just playing, just for fun. On soccer day, have him rest before going, then just bring him. If he plays, great. If not, that is fine. Leave it up to him and dont make a big deal of it, either way. Good luck.
S.
