I only keep 2 liter bottles of pop in the house, they are actually set out in the garage and are only used for parties, my elem aged kids are allowed sprite when at parties or other special events, but no one in our house drinks it on a daily basis.
the last 3 sets of kids that have invited mine over for playdates have served pop. I"m ok with them drinking it occasionally, but now i'm starting to wonder if kids don't like to come to my house because i serve water or milk, and pretzels instead of little debbie or Hostess snack cakes.
I want to be able to keep an eye on my kids and their freinds and not always have my kids go to others houses, but it seems llike that is what is happending and the snack thing and the fact that i make them spend half their time here playing with a non electronic toy before they are allowed to turn on the wii is making me think I might not seem welcoming to my kids friends.
I can't think of what to do to make our house attractive with out upping the ante I do talk to the kids and try to be friendly but at 8 yo they just want to go play.
thoughts, suggestions, ??
Thanks for the advice i'm taking it all into consideration.
If i could clarify the wii/electronic rule, since i worded it ackwardly, I ask that they either go outside and play, or if the weather is bad go to the playroom and play --together-- for half the playdate, since it seems like they aren't really interacting with each other when they are playing video games. That was all i wasn't dictating too much What they had to play but just tring to focus them on something that they actually coolaborated on. If this doesn't change your answers and you still think it isn't too big of a deal to just spend the whole time infront of a screen, I'll consider that too.
I do have to say as much as i want to enjoy having other kids over, I really don't, it feels like work. maybe they sense that.
Maybe you could find some kind of middle ground.
The snacks sound fine and no soda is reasonable, but maybe you could keep some juice boxes or Capri Suns on hand that are just for play dates.
Maybe you can allow them to play the Wii first, but enforce a 30 minute limit - once the 30 minutes is up, they have to find something else to do.
I would not change your snacks. There's nothing wrong with something different. I served a child white grape juice today and he thought it was weird b/c it wasn't purple. I said he could have milk or water instead. We don't keep sodas around, either and one friend brings her own Coke products. Being welcoming is more than throwing out your own values to cater to what might appeal to kids. I would let them go play and not worry about the sodas or the electronics.
I would serve little juice boxes & bottled water.
Maybe even some pink lemonade from concentate (you can dilute it a bit).
Pretzels for snacks.
Here's why:
I agree that kids should not eat so many bad things but I would not want to elimate the playdates (which may happen) nor would I want to alienate my child. Control what your child has in your home but loosen up a bit when the friends come for a playdate. Also, I would let them play. You can make the play date short but I would not Iron-rule it and not allow any fun. They wont' want to come over. Why? Here's my take: I get the "iron rule" at home w/my own parents. I just want to have some fun. I want something new & different. It will not break me. I say, let them have a little fun (eliminate the you have to play first before electronics idea).
You're only young once. No harm if it's good old fashioned fun.
I remember at the age of 10 my neighbor friend's mom asked me to come over for dinner. I was so excited but they served something ungodly & I had to have milk with dinner. I know right. MILK? Oh my heavens. Poor me1 Ha ha. Well when you're young, you have a whole different take. I never, ever went over there for dinner. We had water for dinner and that's all I wanted. I drink milk now but.....heh heh. We stayed friends and laughed about it later.
My point is, why not serve water or watered down juice?
I loved having my friends over when I was little.
It was magical.
You do what you feel comfortable with, milk, water and pretzels is fine. If you wanted you could also serve some fresh fruit, grapes, quartered oranges or bananas, but you are welcoming and opening your home for them to come play at or in and that is what is cool.
You reminded me of a sweet woman I met when my daughter and hers were doing children's theater together. She homeschooled her daughter, made many of her clothes, and when we visited she had simple snacks for the kids. She knew she was labeled as "weird" by some of the other kids in the group and their parents, and while it bothered her for her daughter's sake she didn't change, she stayed true to her ways. And we all had the best time at her home, because she was genuine, and didn't cave into what she thought she should do. She is one of the dearest people I have ever know.
Truly, if some kids are not wanting to come over because of the snacks you serve or lack of time with electronics, how sad for them :(
I have always tried to keep it balanced, as 50-50 as possible.
As in, "no, you went to Janie's house last time, it's our turn to have her over here."
Seems fair and polite IMO, and that way at least you can control the snacks and play at least half of the time :)
My kids like to make snacks as part of the playdate. Try making chex mix or trail mix with the kids. Let them dump all of the ingredients in a big bowl and mix it all up.
I love Jennifer's smoothie idea. Let the kids cut up the fruit and you can operate the blender.
If you don't want them in front of the wii, break out the board games! I am always amazed at how quickly kids will grab a game and stay with it.
Finally, at 8 years old, they are getting to the point that they don't want grown ups around telling them how to play- I was always within ear-shot of the kids, but you are right, they just want to play!
We don't drink pop, but we are big seltzer water drinkers. We call it fake pop--carbonated, by no water, sugar, salt or calories. It comes in all kinds of flavors. The kids who come here always think it's a cool drink. I also serve Simply Lemonade, little bottles of bottled water, or Capri Suns. I think the fruit tray idea is great that one poster suggested. Lately, for my playdates, I mix together things like Goldfish, raisins, m&m's, and cheese cubes. You can mix up pretzels with stuff like teddy grahams or cheez its. The variety makes it fun to eat. What I usually do is give each kid a snack bowl (I mostly use the basket style coffee filters as snack bowls because they are cheaper than paper or styrofoam bowls). I have also gone on the Chex Mix website and made snacks from their recipes. The kids love our snacks because it's usually a variety of different stuff that they would normally not see together. I also try to make sure that I'm serving healthy things, not just junk food. So far, this has worked out well.
I hope this helps:)
Last year, I took out the blender and make raw chocolate/banana smoothies.
Other times, I have put out cucumber sticks w/ dip and watermelon.
In the past, I have toasted a pc of bread and let the kids make faces on the toast w/ cream cheese and raisins/celery.
Annie's organic mac and cheese w/ red pepper slices on the side was always a favorite !
Water served in a pitcher w/ fun ice cubes would be great ! Years ago, I had mini mouse ear ice cube trays. The girls loved them.
I agree w/ you when it comes to soda. It's too sugary and too processed to accompany an after-school snack.
There are lots of things you can serve besides water, milk and pretzels. Would you be open to juice or kool aide? Maybe make them a smoothie? I completely understand not wanting to serve soda, just maybe try to think outside the box a little.
My kids are younger, and we don't have a Wii. Do your kids like to play outside? Mine love to! Maybe you could have your kids sit down and come up with some ideas of things that they could do with their friends for a period of time before the Wii is turned on. Surely they have some thoughts.
Any given day I can have 3-8 boys here.
I keep Capri Sun Roaring Water pouches, bottled water and giant jugs of Hawaiian punch in our downstairs fridge. Sometimes KoolAid guzzlers (gasp!)
Snacks? Depends. Sometimes it's Chex Mix, pretzels, chips, fruit, cookies, whatever. The other day my son asked if he & his bud could eat the leftover General Tso chicken. Sure!
Sounds like you have the double whammy limited electronics/horrible refreshment combo going on! LOL
Seriously, the kids here will shoot hoops for 30 mins and come in, get a drink & play Xbox for 10. Then repeat. It's all good.
I am play date central.
The other day, I had 6 kids over at my house, plus my 2 kids.
I, do not serve soda at ANY of my play dates at my home. But tons of kids always want to come over. And my kids like having their friends over.
When my kids go to friend's homes for play dates, soda is not served there either. My kids are 5 and 9 and have friends the same age.
At my home, we are a tech family. My Husband is even in the business. But, the kids who come over to our home, are not glued to the video games nor the Wii nor anything. My own kids are not hooked on these things either. When we have play dates at our home, the kids PLAY, outside and all over the house. They don't even want to watch tv nor play video games. Even if they are allowed by myself and the other parents.
I let my kids and their friends, do what they want and play what they want. And I keep my eye on them. They do all kinds of imaginative things and running around inside and outside. And I at times will attach our hose sprinkler to our hose and let them play in the water.
And they love that.
The only "rule" I have is that they do not go into our "private" areas. ie: our bedroom. And they are mostly well behaved although they are playing freely.
My kids and their friends are never bored and always have something to do. And they play. They have FUN and always want to come over.
At my home when I have play dates, I serve water or milk or juice. I'm talking whole fruit juices. They even like to squeeze the juice with me with our juicer. Or I have a carton of juice, that is sans added sugar. Just natural juice. I also serve finger foods. ie: crackers, pizza, mini hot dogs, cheese bites, and choc chip cookies, or chicken nuggets. Once I even BBQ'ed some chicken for them on our grill. They always eat anything.
How do you know.... that your kids' friends do not like coming to your home?
Stick to your guns about the healthy snack.
Then pick up a few fun toys to play with outside. Pogo stick, basketball, those velcro nerf things, etc. I would let them play Wii all they want. When your son's on his own you can go non-electronic.
If you have the electronics rule and the pop rule, it could be YOUR kids are the ones who are wanting to go somewhere else!
We never serve pop and we only have organic snacks, fruits and veggies. My daughter loves to drink pop any time and anywhere she can, plus load up on sugary snacks. My daughter does not do well when she has a lots of sugar or HFCS, including pop. I would imagine she would run to another person's house that has all that junk if she could! Fortunately for us, her friends are all into organic and healthy too. She can only load up on pop at grandma's!
Don't overthink it, but I would do away with the electronics rule. Maybe just encourage them to do something else if they are at it too long!
What about serving "bubble water"?
I converted more than my share of die-hard soda loving kids by serving seltzer water. You can get a 2 litre of it for less than a dollar. We like it plain, but you can add lemon or lime slices or a splash of fruit juice.
There are lots of snack solutions. Popcorn, veggies and ranch dip, graham crackers. Yogurt with graham cracker crumbs, sliced bananas, and a dollop of whipped cream was always a favorite at my house. I took the kids blackberry picking and rewarded them with milkshakes, smoothies or syrup on pancakes if they spent the night.
A little snack and room to run is usually all kids really need. I never let the kids stay in playing video games, etc. There was plenty of other things for them to do.
Don't psyche yourself out by overthinking.
I'm very old school in many ways, pretty strict, and still always had a bunch of kids who loved being at my house.
You don't have to do things the way other parents do in order for your kids to have friends.
Best wishes.
