Okay, so we only have enough money this year to have a handful of my daughter's friends over for her 8th birthday. But two of the friends I can't get a hold of because I don't know their parents' number or email. Is there any way to get them from school? Can my daughter give a note to those girls without inviting the entire class? Can I involve my daughter's teacher to get addresses or numbers? I understand that these days we want to be including everyone and never leave anyone out for fear of hurting anyone's feelings. I get that. We are always trying to instill this in our girl. But this is a sleepover. We have enough room for 5 girls TOPS. We have enough money for this and this alone.
What would you do to get the message out to the parents of these girls? There's only two of them I'd need to reach.
Thanks in advance, Ladies and Gents.
Just google their last name and town and you should be able to find an address. The look up the phone number in the online white pages.
PS: we limit sleep overs to about 3 friends to keep things simply and relaxed. The more kids, the wilder it tends to get.
Can't your daughter just ask her friends for their phone numbers? She's 8, that shouldn't be difficult for her to do.
ETA: Last year when my son was in pre-k he came home with a few phone numbers--he asked his friends for their numbers, and they had their parents write them down for them. 8 year olds know their phone #s and how to write.
Your daughter is old enough to ask them for their phone numbers.
Will this be your first contact with these girls and there families then? I would recommend having the girls over for a playdate before you have them sleepover. It will probably make the sleepover run smoother if you are somewhat familiar with these kids and they are familiar with you and your home beforehand. Just some friendly advice.
Can your daughter ask her friends for their phone numbers? My dd just turned 7 and has known her phone number for years. It's smart to know for safety reasons.
I agree, have your daughter ask them for their mom or dads phone number.
Leave it to your daughter and emphasize that it is her job, her contribution to the party, to get these numbers. Do not involve the teacher. Teachers are not permitted to give out information about other kids or their families and the front office will not give it to you either -- it's not permitted (at least not here). Does your school publish a school directory? Ours does. If the one for this year is not out yet, ask the office if you can see a copy of last year's directory -- that should have what you need, but some families do opt out of being in school directories. And some schools don't publish any.
As someone else noted: Many families would not let their kids do a sleepover at a home where the parents had not at least met the host child's parents. You might find some of these families tell you no, but not because they don't like you or your child -- because they don't even KNOW you or your child. I wouldn't send my child to a sleepover at a home she'd never visited previously or with a family where I did not know the parents pretty well. So don't be upset or shocked if you get some "no" replies.
Is this the first time you are meeting these girls & parents? If so, you may want to have a playdate. I know I never let my daughters sleepover if I didn't know the family or girls. My youngest was the social butterfly and she had a cluster of girlfriends throughout her elementary/middle school years. I knew all the moms, dads, sibs, and was ok with her spending the night. If I didn't know them, but my daughter was friends with the child, we kindly declined and got a small gift. You've got to remember that it's harder nowadays for people to be ok with sleepovers unless they know you. Do not involve faculty or staff...they will not give you that type of info. Can you pick up your daughter and have her point out the girls and their moms and spek to them directly. At 8, I remember my youngest personally giving the invitations herself to her friends. You can't really be concerned with iinviting the whole class (why would you do that anyway, by 8, they usuallly have a cluster of friends/regular besties). Your best bet is to introduce yourself to the moms, wait after school.
Are you still a SAHM? If you are, I don't see why you couldn't just hang out in the morning or come a little early & see if you could meet the parents that way. Obviously if any of them/you work, this idea isn't feasible, but it seems like the easiest way to get the info you need.
Or, can't your DD just put the invite in their back pack in the morning, before school starts, or after? That way it's not done in front of the whole class. This is how DD received an invitation from her former classmate from last year.
Honestly, though, your DD is 7, almost 8, surely she can handle asking for their phone numbers, or giving them an invite. I don't think it's appropriate to involve an already swamped teacher in this.
I would not let my 8 year old spend the night at someone's house that I did not know and know well. If there is time for the parents of the children you wish to invite to come to your home for a visit, then just give the invitations along with a note to the parents. There is no need to involve the teacher or school. Just make sure your daughter and her friends don't hurt other children's feeling who are not invited.
In my opinion I think 8 is still a little young for a sleep over with the exceptions of relatives or very close neighbors. Children that age often think they want to spend the night away from home, but end up crying and needing to be taken home or a call made to the parents to come get em!
I would probably just talk to your daughter's teacher, and see if she will relay a message to get in touch with you. She most likely has their contact information but shouldn't give it out without their permission. You can also check with the school office and just see if they happen to have a directory with the info you need.
Doesn't your school have a student directory? Ours does. If we don't want our numbers in it we simply check the "NO" box and send it back.
If I didn't know you personally I would not let my child spend the night in your home no matter how close my child was to yours. That is something to consider. These parents might prefer to do a party then go home.
