SLEEP......What Is That?? - Minneapolis,MN

Updated on November 23, 2010
T.C. asks from Minneapolis, MN
8 answers

Does anyone have any advise for an exhausted mom. My son who is 3 has always been a great sleeper. Slept through the night by 6 months old after 3 nights of the CIO method. Now my daughter on the other had we have always had issues with. She has made a ton of progress and is getting much better but still gets up twice a night. She is 8 months old and has had a cold this past weekend so she has not been sleeping. She seemed to be feeling better yesterday and then last night was up from 9:30 untill 1, and then again at 2 when i went and rocked with her and slept in the recliner. I would think at 8 months old she would be starting to sleep through the night once in a while. A liittle more info. She takes a nap at around 8:30 in the am for about 1 1/2 hours and another nap at 1 for about the same amount of time sometimes 2 hours and goes to be at 7. We are up by 5:45 to get to daycare. Latley she has still been waking up at like 10:30 and again in the am hours at some point. She will NOT take a pacifier for anything and has to have her bottle to fall back asleep. Most of the time she drinks both bottles. She is extremly active and has a very high motabolism. Normally she will fall back to sleep after the bottles. I dont pick her up anymore just give her the bottle and she drinks it and usually goes back to sleep right away, but i just dont feel she should need 2 bottles a night anymore. I know she is sick right now and teething but in general what have you moms done to help get your kids to sleep through the night. She is still in our room untill she is sleeping throught the night and then she will share a room with our son. He wakes up if she is in there though and thats not fair to him, so that is why she is still in our room. Yes they have to share a room to unfortunatly. Wish they could have thier own but it just isnt that way at this point. I dont mind getting up to make a bottle, but twice a night just seems like a lot for 8 months. She eats a ton during the day so i really dont get how she can be hungry. Plus i would really like to be able to sleep though the night at some point in the near future. Sorry this is long, and i know it wont last forever, im just exhausted right now due only getting like 3-4 hours of sleep the last 3 nights. I work full time and it is just me and the kids at night due to my husbands work scheduale, so i really dont have time to be tired. Any ideas of what has worked for you to get your babies to sleep through the night at this age? The CIO does NOT work for her. She will keep going all night long and the longer i let her cry the more awake she gets and dont go back to sleep. If i get her her bottle right away then she usually goes back to sleep pretty quick. Thanks for any advice!!

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So What Happened?

Thanks to those few that responded. I do suck it up everyday and do everything for my kids every day. I take care of everything around the house and work a full time job. Im not expecting her to instantly sleep through the night, and i have no plans of trying anyting till after her cold again, i was just looking for a few ideas that others may have tried and had work for a baby that will not just cio. Thanks anyways though.

More Answers

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L.S.

answers from New London on

Have you tried ibuprofen for the teeth and some benedryl for the cold? Works wonders for my kids and everyone is much happier. I wouldn't suggest use it all the time but it really does help with the coughing and the teething and the sniffling nose which makes kids wake up all night. And no your 8 mo doesn't need a bottle two times a night or even once a night. Sometimes you just have to let them cry ... how long do you let her cry. She has to learn how to put herself back to sleep. My son learned at 10 and half months and my daughter at 4 months. But even now at 1 my daughter will wake up at midnight. Sometime I wait until she falls back to sleep and if she doesn't I go in and pick her up and sometimes I nurse her. It all depends ... If you give her the bottle right away every night she is going to expect this every night. My sister did this with her son and every night he woke up at 2 am waiting and expecting his bottle until he was over 2 years old. Can you try different methods, rocking back to sleep, water in a bottle, etc. Once she realizes she isn't getting food she may not even bother waking up in the middle of the night. But you have to stand firm and not give in ... the first night is painful. It only took two nights with my daughter before she started sleeping through the night. Of course there are times when she wakes up gassy or teething and I nurse her and I create a waking habit again, but I then go back to a normal routine. But it is work and it isn't going to happen overnight. If you have any questions, let me know. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Denver on

Oh, to be blessed with an easy first baby! It sets you up for such unrealistic expectations for the 2nd! If you start reading some of the little more non-mainstream sleep books (Dr. Sears, Dr. Jay Gordon, Dr. James McKenna, Elizabeth Pantley), you will find that it is the exception, not the rule, that babies sleep through the night by x months. Truly only 10% of babies sleep through the night by three years old. You will also find that sleeping through the night and whether the CIO method works for your baby is dependent on your baby's unique personality. It is not something you can fix. You can tweak it, but not fix it. My first did not get down to two wakings/night until 2 1/2 years old. He still wakes once/night at just turned 4. My first is a night owl, my second (6 months and waking 5+ times/night) is an early bird. I can't change either one of them. I've tried.

Research actually supports kids waking during the night, as it is a protective mechanism akin to fight or flight. The baby's body knows that it can't regulate breathing well, so will keep baby in a lighter sleep. There are actually studies that document a lower risk of SIDS to babies that more readily wake.

Then you are left with coping strategies. I finally brought my kids to bed with me. First, they started waking less frequently because I was there. Second, I slept more soundly because I wasn't getting up and walking around, which keeps me in a deeper sleep.

I also make sure that I either a) nap during the day (not possible very often!) or b) let hubby get up with the kids on weekend mornings so that I continue sleeping uninterrupted or make sure I get a nap on each weekend day.

Unfortunately, I haven't found a way to solve the sleep issue, only ways to better cope with it. I also found that having a pediatrician who knows and supports current valid research (Ferber has renounced (in the past 2-3 years) part of his earlier CIO recommendations to say that it is not for every baby, and that he does not recommend doing it for longer stretches anymore) is helpful to me, as they (all three in the practice) reassure me that what my child is doing is normal for him, as each baby is different, and help me create a plan for working with and maintaining self-care of myself.

Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

At this age my child still nursed at least twice a night and was hungry that's for sure. All kids are different. If she's eating both bottles at night to me that says she's hungry and needs it. Just because she eats a lot during the day does not mean she shouldn't eat at night. Before you try to do anything different like other styles of soothing wait until she's over being sick and not teething. Both of those will throw her off anyways. Once I weaned from nighttime feedings around 10-11 months my child still needed to be held on occasion at night and rocked. She needed to feel safe and secure. Does your child have something to hold onto at night? A small blanket or stuffed animal?

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B.G.

answers from St. Cloud on

I hate it when people say suck it up. My oldest (15) slept through the night at 6 weeks, my middle (6) didn't sleep through the night until he was 4.5 and sometimes still gets up, the newest (14 weeks) seems to be in the middle of both. She was only getting up once in the beginning then it was 3 times when we moved her to her room, then it was back down to only 1 time. The other night she was up 6 times, that was my fault, I thought that perhaps she was too warm so I dressed her down. My hubby mentioned that when she was first born we kept her pretty warm. So I bundled her back up last night, gave her a good tight swadle and pretso she was up only once to eat.

I am sorry that you are sleepy, I can relate. My husband works long hours, leaving me to work full time +part time and manage the house. Losing one hour of sleep can ruin my entire day, not to mention ruin my kid's day too.

Take what time you can to rest, I know it is hard with a toddler. My suggestions are to try something new in terms of warmth, pull her in bed with you when you just can't stand it anymore, if she uses a blanket perhaps a heavier one might work. I know all of my kids sleep more soundly when they have weight on them. Perhaps they feel more secure.

Hang in there...

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S.D.

answers from Dothan on

You cannot force your child out of that habit in the middle of this cycle. What you need to do is find more sleep and help. This is normal for kids going through this and I know your only upset because the sleep deprivavtion has got he better of you.
Its going to sound cruel but suck it up. I havent slept throught he night in 4 years. 2 kids back to back. When they are in infant stage its the hardest. and when ya hit the stomach flu time its just like being back to that (oh yes im so there right now)
Many mothers have done this before and many will after you. You might have to take some time off work and get some sleep. When the teething is over and they are above a year old you can regulate their habits easier.
Do what ya can to get more rest so you can think clearly, your at the danger point mentally right now with sleep deprivation. GET SOME REST!

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B.R.

answers from Des Moines on

I just thought I'd say that my 14 month old still wakes 1-2 times a night. It just may not be realistic for your little one to not wake up -- from the responses you've gotten so far (and talking with other moms), a lot of kids just don't.

It sounds like you're doing everything right. You've just got so much on your plate that something's got to give. I'm just not sure you can sleep train the little one yet, so it may have to be something else.

I only work away from home 3 days a week, and that's hard. I'm sure full-time can really get the best of you sometimes. Good luck, and I hope you can find a solution that works for you!

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D.R.

answers from Sheboygan on

My daughter was getting up 5 - 6 times a night when she was 11 months old. When she was 6 months it was 2 - 3 times a night, but for some reason she just kept adding more and more times until it got up to 6. I had to nurse her to get her back to sleep...even though I would put her down before she fell asleep. I let her cry it out. She was dependent on me to help her get back to sleep. She had to figure out how to do it herself. The first time during the first night she cried about an hour. The second time that night about 1/2 hour, and then she was done. The next night she cried a couple times for less than 10 minutes.
I did the crying out thing on the weekend so my husband and I could take naps if needed.
Good luck!!

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M.I.

answers from Duluth on

your first mistake? comparing your child to someone else's. every baby is different, and every baby has a different set of needs.

besides, consider this. though there are some babies that cry to release stress to go to sleep, this other infant has given up that anyone will respond. is that what you want for your child? probably not. some children are increasers; being allowed to cry just increases the "terror" level. you are right to follow your heart on this. way to go mom!!

i fully support you to do what you know is best for your family. my son is a week shy of 4 and still sleeps in our room on and off. (we just got him a race car bed and he is sleeping in it...) its more common than you think. but the difference is that i NEVER let my child think that he wasnt important enough for us to come to him or him to come to us at ANY time, day or night. i dont stop parenting at night just because im tired. it doesnt last forever, and you will NEVER regret doing all that you can and all that you are doing.

anyone who says parenting is easy and kids always sleep good if you do it right is a liar. my son would accept NO substitutes. but thats just who he is. the best way to treat a child like that? just follow your instincts, fulfill their needs, and then they can grow and mature with FULFILLED needs instead of empty holes where their needs are. it makes the next step MUCH easier.

my son was still waking at night to nurse until between 15-17 months. he self weaned at 20 months. you still might have a while ahead of you. but the good news is that someday she WILL sleep through the night and everything, but YOU wont; you will miss it! this only lasts a little while in the grand picture of life. you will get sleep again. and you will actually miss waking up with your child. its bittersweet. :) just keep doing what you are doing. go to bed earlier. put other responsibilities aside. dont stay out late on the weekend - that just makes your sleep MORE off.

good luck! and keep following your heart.

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