Sleeping with a Nipple

My daughter was the same way. My husband would sometimes put her to sleep by cradling her in his arms and gently shaking her. Sounds weird, but it worked. I also didn't like the idea of the CIO method. I didn't do that until she was 2, and was able to understand what I was doing.

Could you try a bottle nipple instead of the paci? I noticed that you said he doesn't take it, so perhaps a bottle nipple (without bottle attached, of course) so he has something there. Perhaps the paci is just shaped too differently for him just yet.

I had this with my first (the next 3 didn't have this problem) as she rejected pacifiers. At the time, I did not know that much about different pacifiers and there also were not the variety offered today. I probably would have tried different paci's or as some have suggestes, bottle nipples closest to "mom". Also, to break the suction, are you using a finger or just pulling away?

I ended up being her paci, but as she grew older it was less and less. I would think that the introduction of a pacifer will take time. I think the ones that worked with my other children was a Nubi or something like that. At a year or at least by 18 months you will want to trash the pacifiers or it will be extremely difficult later. By a year, you would have your child drinking out of sippy or straw cups (water, juice, breast milk, whatever), so it takes the place of the paci, but children learn to adjust. Every change takes time, usually from a few days to two weeks. Just be strong!!!

Good luck!

First of all congrats! on both having yoru baby and sticking it out with the breastfeeding! Both huge tasks in themselves!
Babies have to learn EVERYTHING--including how to fall asleep and self-soothe...if he learns to fall asleep nursing, then that is what he'll learn and expect, but if you TEACH him to fall asleep on his own, both you, your baby and your family will be happier in the long run. And lucky for you, 3 months is a perfect time to start. It's hard with BFing, but with a nice routine, and a few weeks of hard work, not only will you be able to teach him to fall asleep without the nipple, but also to sleep through the night without needed to nurse! I'm talking 8-12 hours. plus 3 naps---really.

Luckily, there are methods for you to choose from other than the Ferber or CIO methods.

Two more middle of the road approaches are:

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby by Tracey Hogg http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Comm...
and
Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep , Stay Asleep, And Wake Up Happy by Kim West and Joanne Kenen http://www.amazon.com/Good-Night-Sleep-Tight-Helping/dp/1...

I've known quite a few moms that have taken either approach in these-both that BFed and Bottle-fed and ALL of them (including myself) have had wonderful results...but it is a matter of reading the books and following their plans (both much more gentle than CIO). Both are available from the library BTW.
I personally used the Baby Whisperer, but Good Night Sleep Tight wasn't out when I had my son--since then I've known many moms that praise that book even more than the Baby Whisperer. Anyways, my now 2 1/2 year old has slept 10-12 hours a night since he was 16 weeks old (excluding nights of course when he was sick or teething or something) and by 6 months was a great napper--which is still is at 2 1/2--I get very little resistance from him at bed or nap time...(it's all about teaching them how to self-sooth and what to expect)
Anwyay, good luck!--read up and see if either of those books offer solutions and plans you can do!

Be patient and keep trying. It's only natural for your baby to look for you when you first take the nipple out of his mouth. Pay attention to how he is nursing - you should be able to feel the difference between when he is actually swallowing milk, and when he is falling asleep and just continuing to suck for comfort. When he switches over to the fluttery comfort sucking, use your finger to break the suction and take him off the breast. If he starts searching, you can go ahead and let him latch on again, but if you keep repeating this process, eventually he will learn that he can fall asleep without your nipple in your mouth. Stroke his hair, hold him, experiment to find what will work for you. I wouldn't be too worried about him still waking some at three months, unless you are finding yourself too sleep-deprived to function during the day. Otherwise, just keep trying. It WILL get better over time. There really aren't any instant overnight solutions. I'm on my third child now, and they all do learn to sleep in their own time.
If you're looking for a good book to read, I recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley.

Doe he keep the paci during the day? If not you might want to try "training" him to keep it. Put the paci in his mouth and when he starts suck gently pull at it, he will instinctivly suck harder to keep it in his mouth. I did this with both my bf babies and it worked. Once he was out after his last feeding I'd exchange my breast for the paci and quick. Also I agree with the other advice you've gotten as far as trying different one's. My little guys both loved avent and mam binkys. Also make sure your getting the right size, ie 0-3 months, 3-6 months. Good Luck!

no cio this early in the game -- past 6 mo? i think --
there are many different pacifiers -- go in search of "your personal shape" -- and the empty bottle nipple idea was good too......don't became a human pacifier. not good for your baby, you or your marriage..............

have you tried a pacifier? You are right, you don't CIO with a 3 month old. My son need either me or a pacifier to fall asleep during the first 4 months and if I took the paci out of his mouth before deep sleep, he woke up. It was a very hard 4 months, but it worked itself out!

I think that would be considered self-soothing. Babies do it in the womb by sucking on fingers, toes. Try the pacie. Just don't become his pacie... I know a girl that is her baby's pacie and her husband get zero sleep now. The baby is already 13 months and treats her mom as a pacie. You can always take the pacie away later.

I did CIO with both of my kids. The first one was 9 months old and I had to! He wanted a bottle about 3 times a night, like a newborn. Then my daughter was about 7 months and I weaned her off the breast. He put up a fight but she didn't. Don't feel guilty to try the CIO later, but you are right in not doing it right now.

I know you said you've tried pacifiers, but give the Soothie brand paci's a try. My little Doodle wouldn't take any paci's, but around 7 months for some reason he really took to the Soothie's and now those are the only ones he will take. They also sell them with small stuffed animals attached (called Wubbanubs).

Good luck!