Sleeping Problems with Almost 1 Year Old

I'm wondering if maybe she's having issues with her belly? Both my sons were "colicky" and switching to soy formula and then soy milk when they were one helped a lot. I've also heard great things about Gripe Water, which is basically just ginger & fennel, you can get it at Whole Foods & I saw it at Winston's (the Irish food store) in Tinley.

I read some other responses about Dr. Weissbluth - I read his book when I had my firstborn, helped a lot!

Make an appointment with Dr. Marc Weissbluth IMMEDIATELY!!! He's a sleep specialist and in Chicago.
Hang in there, Mama!

Can she hold the bottle herself? Can you put her in bed with a bottle of water? If it's the bottle she wants, maybe she can soothe herself with it.

Good luck, you are doing more things to help her than most moms would have tried.

I would definitely talk to your pediatrician. Also now that she is one I would try getting her off the bottle. Two of my three kids were not very good sleepers until the bottle was gone. We started putting water in their bottles and cutting the nipples so they wouldn't want them. When they would get up in the night and we offered them the bottle with water they refused it and went to sleep. Might just be one thing you could try. I'm sure the other mom's will come with lots of ideas too. Hang in there, you're doing a great job!

Hi A. -- It sounds like you have tried nearly everything. I agree with the other moms who said to talk to your pediatrician. Maybe you could even make an appointment with Dr. Marc Weisbluth? He's a Chicago pediatrician and a sleep expert. A lot of parents I know swear by his book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Sounds like he has helped a lot of families. Good luck.

Hi, My heart does go out to you! My son is now 9, but he was the worlds worst sleeper. I read what others have said, and earlier sleep is helpful.. It seems to not make sense, but sleep breeds sleep! We used the fisher price fish tank that plays music, and he would turn it on himself and go to sleep. That was after we did the crying thing... Anyway, I know you tried the crying thing, I had to do that... 3 hours is really not long for the first night. My son cried for 6 or 7 hours (and me too!)the first night, 3 hours the second, 1 hour the 3rd, 15 min the 4th, and then it was OVER. He learned to sleep. He does not recall a minute of it! You know when your kids cry is hurt or sick, and then that was all he would wake up for. Those nights, I would let him sleep with us, but then back to his crib when he was better. Usually had 1 bad night getting him back in the habit, crying for 1 hour, but then it was back to sleep. Really, it then worked for naps too. I obviously remember every minute of doing this 8 years ago, like it was yesturday, but my son does not. Good luck. I know you think it is cruel to let her cry more than 3 hours, but it is not every night. I feel for you.. I hope you can get her to sleep, it will help you both! Good luck!

It definitely sounds like she could have some food sensitivities/intolerances. This can affect behavior, sleep, etc. The first culprit could be dairy which includes removing all milk products, casien, lactic acid, etc. She also needs a very good probiotic to counteract all of the antibiotics she's taken. Walgreens has a good selection now. If after eliminating the dairy for a couple weeks you don't see a marked change, then move on to eliminating gluten (wheat, barley, rye). There is a top 8 list of common food intolerances but most probably do not apply to her yet (soy, shellfish, fish, peanuts, tree nuts).

If all else fails, you could try to have her neurotransmitters tested (via urine test). Good luck.

Since her antibiotics - 4 rounds - have you introduced some acidopholous back into her system? Through yogurt or kefir? I know that when I had a huge dose of antibiotics that about a month later I was in such pain I could hardly function. I took pills w/ acidopholous in them...but obviously your child can't take pills. Make sure the label says 'active cultures' on it.

hth

First of all I want to commend you for keeping on trying. My almost 3 year old just started sleeping through the night (most of the time). He still wakes up about once a night, and is an extremely early riser...5:30-6:00. He was not nearly as severe as your precious little one sounds, though. Didn't make himself throw up, but would cry and scream 3-4-5 times a night. And because he shares a room with his brother, we (I mean me:)) had to go get him. Even once he was old enough for a toddler bed, he would walk down the hall crying. I felt like I should try something different, but rocking him back to sleep or at least calmed down worked for our family. As difficult as it is to listen to advice, you have to do what you can do to make it through the night, and if right now that means rocking her to sleep with the bottle, then that's what you do:) My husband often travels for 1-2 weeks at a time, so I can sympathize with the exhaustion.

Have you tried putting a bottle or sippy cup with water in the bed with her before she goes to sleep? Both of my boys (5 and 3) have one. It prevents the whole 'Mom, I'm thirsty" stall technique and they can drink it if they wake up. (And you won't have to run to the kitchen, since it's already there!) I've also moved the chair right by the bed, so that I could reach in through the bars and rub his back or his head, or just hold his hand until he fell asleep at bedtime. I never had that bad of a bedtime battle, but my youngest often took an hour or so to wind down and go to sleep. He would sing or talk or cry a little, make noise, bang on the wall or run his hands along the bars...anything to stay awake and make me crazy. And for a long time my older son would fall asleep in my room and I'd move him to his bed later. Ugh! So I started putting them to bed at the same time. Both sit in my lap for books, and for a few minutes after lights out, if they choose. Then I'd put them in bed, tuck them in and sit in the chair for a while. I wonder if your other child would be willing to share a little time at bedtime. Maybe your little one doesn't want to miss out. I know she's not yet one, but that's such a busy age and that may be contributing to the bedtime battle.
First, I'd focus on the bedtime problem. I do believe that middle of the night wakings eventually work themselves out, especially if they can get to sleep on their own, even if it does take an extra year or two.
This is probably stuff you have already tried. But know that you are not alone!! Godd luck and I hope you and your little one find some peaceful sleep!
Natascha

Wow! I feel for you! My eldest was not a good sleeper and I remember some awful nights!
I just want to agree with those who suggest taking her to the doctor, as that hourly waking sounds to me like something is up. It sounds to me like she's having pain if she's waking that frequently, at least that was always the case with my boys. Good luck to you!

A., would you consider letting her sleep with you? Even if she wakes a lot, at least it's easier for you to comfort her and give her a bottle. Our first was a challenging sleeper and that's what we did. She's 5 and sleeps great now. It can be a challenge to move them out of your bed later, but I think it's a lot easier to make that transition with an older child.

Hey A.,
I feel your pain. I have 3 little ones who went through some sleep issues. Are you sure the ear infection has cleared up? All of mine were good sleepers until they had their first ear infection (or cold which eventually lead to an ear infection). Turns out that 2 of them had chronic fluid in their ears and one of them had chronic infections. However, there may not necessarily be an infection, but if there is fluid in the ear, that will cause pain as well. My pediatrician ALWAYS said the ears were clear and that it must be teeth, habit, etc. But when I took them to the ENT (ear nose & throat dr.) and they used the tympanogram the fluid was always present. They have all had ear tubes put in and are much much much better sleepers now.

My suggestion would be to see an ENT to determine if there is still fluid in her ear.

Good luck!!

Wow. I really do feel so bad for you. With your husband's schedule leaving you to be a "single" parent a lot, I give you a lot of credit for the patience that you have had in dealing with this thus far. That is not easy.
The only advice I would offer you has been said, and so I'm just repeating some of it.

Most important thing I would say, is to call the pediatrician. See what they have to say.
It very well may be an allergy issue. As one person already said, certain foods can really mess with a child's temprament. My brother was not able to eat things such as white bread, and Kool-Aid because they made him very hyper and caused him to have a really bad temper. My niece had to be switched to soy-based products because of the same issues. So maybe look into what she is eating.
Next, when my daughter was a little younger than that, it would take me up to three hours to get her to stay down in her crib and fall asleep. I would just keep laying her down and patting her back while shushing her. She would keep trying to get up, and I would just keep laying her down and doing this until she fell asleep. It was hard, but she eventually got the point that I was still there and was not going to pick her up. Not sure this will work for you, but it is just a suggestion.
When she finally is sleeping (for naps or in the morning), maybe just let her sleep for as long as she wants to instead of waking her up. See what happens. The worse that could happen is that she is up all night. In which case, it is not worse than what you have now, is it?
Finally, if it is at all possible, maybe see if you can have someone come and put her to bed for you- a friend or a relative... anyone else you can count on- for a few days or even a week. Maybe the change in who comes for her will make her lose interest in the routine she is use to. Maybe it will break her of the habit. If anything, maybe it will just be the break you guys need to get through it too. Good luck and hang in there.

A.,

My heart goes out to you. Pray to God for a lot of patience as you DEFINITELY need it. When my son was having trouble sleeping, I would send up a prayer and did the best I could to help him fall asleep. My son loves to sleep on his tummy, so I would rub his back and pat his butt and after some 20 minutes or so, he would fall asleep. Now he won't go down right away so we sit in front of the TV and watch/listen (in low volume) to some nursery ryhmes on On Demand (Comcast) for about 13 minutes and then he's ready to go down on his own. I'll put him in his crib, cuddle him with his blankets, put Holy water on his forehead, do the Sign of The Cross on him and he stays on his own and falls asleep.

Prayer is definitely a BIG help. I will pray for you guys and you do the same. Let's hope relief comes your way soon! Good luck and God bless.

Sounds like she is in pain. Perhaps you want to test her for allergies. Sometimes the food item a kids craves the most is the one she is allergic to. They go through witdrawl crash and need more. Milk is a big example of this--and also something that is the first thing you should do a trial elimination if you child has repeat ear infections or lots of ear wax and nasal/throat mucus. I think I could have avoided ear tubes if some sage Pediatrician or ENT had helped me make the connection between my son's monthly ear infections and his milk allergy (he got his first when I introduced yogurt at age 11 months, as he was BF, but I never made the correlation. I tested him at age 10 on a 90 food IgG (blood Elisa test) sensitivity panel and Milk showed a HUGE response).

For your sanity right now, I recommend trying extended release melatonin. You can buy melatonin at grocery or walgreens, etc. I get extended release from Vitacost.com, their NSI brand. I open the capsule and put in juice/water. It clumps a bit and can stick to the glass (that is part of the extended release--regular melatonin doesn't clump much). I use a syringe to make sure I suck it all up and squeeze it all in my youngest son. You can start with 1 or 1.5 mg and work up to 3mg if you don't get the extended effect. Also make sure the room is dark. Any light interfers with the bodys natural production of melatonin in the evening/nightime hous. My son used to wake frequently in the night before extended release melatonin. Now he rarely wakes and if he does its not until 5am or later.
Hope this helps!
B.

Dude that $ucks!
You sound so tired and frustrated! Just three thoughts to share with you.

1) Dr. Weissbluth accepts most insurance. call him. Even if it is just for a consultation. What do you have to lose?

2)Can your husband be in charge of her for 3 days? and not give in? My kids have usually altered this type of thing if I stuck with a change for 3 days.

3) Overnight guest: Honestly when my kids would go to my inlaws they would sleep better b/c my inlaws had different rules and my kids didn't know how to "adjust them". This way you both could get a break and start fresh? Or is there someone that could stay overnight and be in charge of her. Again to break the game and implement new rules?

It is so hard and so exhausting! Some thing will change soon. Just hang in there!

My heart goes out to you as well. My son has had similar issues at times. Often, they were tied to teething, a sore throat, or an ear infection. Especially the screaming when you enter the room. He definitely did that when he had an ear infection.

What time is she going to bed? I found with my son that an earlier bedtime actually led to him sleeping better. He was up every couple of hours overnight and we moved his bedtime from 9pm to 6pm and he started sleeping 5-6 hour stretches that eventually became 9 hours.
Also, my son used to take a bottle overnight and it seemed like we'd never be able to get rid of it. What helped a bit was switching from bottles to sippy cups.
Then we started decreasing the amount of formula that was in the bottle and using more water, so that it wasn't as strong. Eventually I switched to plain water, and after a few nights he didn't want it anymore. It seemed that once he learned that's all he was getting, he stopped wanting it. He would still wake up, but I eventually got to the point where I could leave him in the crib and get him back to sleep once he didn't need the drink anymore.
He recently had another ear infection that has messed up his sleeping again. He's finally starting to sleep through the night most nights (at 19 months old) but when he does wake up, I have to pick him up and hold him for at least a little bit.
My hubby got into the bad habit of taking him into the guest room to sleep when he was on overnight duty for a couple of weeks, and now I'm finding it hard to break the habit again.
I guess my point is, these habits are hard to break. My philosophy has always been to do it slowly and gently.
Also, my son would not go to sleep on his own in the crib and would just cry and cry, and was always rocked and fed in order to fall asleep. Around a year old, he suddenly started not minding being put in his crib. It seemed like it had to be on his terms. He started squirming in my arms and wanting to roll over.
It may seem like this phase may last forever, especially when you're so sleep deprived, but eventually they will grow out of it.

No advice, just a big hug. My daughter is the same way, except she doesn't cry for a bottle because she was breastfed. She's going to be two next month and she still won't sleep through the night and will not fall asleep without nursing. I have tried everything, same as you. We ended up co-sleeping. I don't know if that's an option for you, but maybe your closeness will calm her down and let her sleep more restfully. In the end, we'll be grateful for such strong-willed, determined daughters, but for now we do whatever we can to get some sleep! Good luck.

My almost 2 year old falls asleep to the TV most nights. Not something that I would normally recommend, but it seems like you've tried most everything also. I used it at first as a sound machine playing baby einstein tapes in there and it was faced in a position where she could hear it but couldn't see it, but now that she is older she wants Dora or whatever and wants to see it. I figure having "swiper no swiping" ingrained in her brain is better than not sleeping! So we just have a small like 13" TV with a built in VCR player that automatically rewinds and plays again... over and over and over and over.... all night long. No screaming from her room anymore!

Wow. You touched base on most of what I was going to suggest. a) let her cry it out - even if that means she'll throw up and then b) does she have reflux and have you tried different medicines.

My son was diagnosed with reflux at age 1 (when we finally went to a pediatric doctor). He tried several medicines and what seemed to work the best was Previcid (chewable) We asked for double the dose and just broke the pill in half.

My son would also cry and if we didn't run to him within the first 2 minutes, he would throw up. It was suggested let him throw up and not go to him. I couldn't do that and honestly, never did until we got him on previcid. Our daycare provider would never go to him and it took a couple of times where he threw up that he knew that tatic wasn't going to work for her, so he stopped throwing up. To this day, he is still able to go to sleep at her house without a problem.

I'd really suggest trying to change the medicine to Previcid (perscription). It breaks apart very easy and can be added to a bit of water (using a syringe) - to make sure she gets all of it.

Have you tried swaddling her? That may also help. Also, try putting her down earlier (if you can). That alone may be the secret.

My heart goes out to you. I assume you have checked and confirmed that her ear infection is clear, maybe the pressure of laying down hurts hence she keeps waking? Or maybe she attributs her bed to the pain from the infection?

Have you tried relocating her crib to a differnt room? Change her mobile out? my Son now knows how to turn his on and off and we will wake in the morning to him turning it back on and he is back a sleep.

Is she teething maybe the pain is waking her? Have you tried a frozen Paci? (that is how I got my girlfriends daughter to take her paci).
Is she hungry maybe not enough solids?

How does she take her nap? Does she self fall asleep or is she put to sleep. I also noticed with my son, the more he sleeps during the day the better he sleeps at night. Sometimes too much stimulation does not allow them to settle down.

Could she be eating something different, that maybe is having a differnt reaction then the typical allergic reaction. My brother was allergic to chocolate and the cola sodas- his temperment would change.

Do you have somone who can take them for a night or two so you can get some needed/well deserved sleep. Your stress about this could be making it worse and maybe a change of senery for the little one could help.

So sorry to hear this! My 13 month old was a difficult little guy. We co-slept with him since birth, but he napped in his crib. He used me as a pacifier all night and often woke up immediately upon putting him in the crib for naps after being rocked to sleep. He also would not lay down in his crib if we tried cry it out or tried sitting in his room - he actually would fall asleep sitting up only to wake up again seconds later. The only thing that finally worked was to lay next to the crib. The first night, I kept making noise to try and attract him towards the floor since he was standing. It took about 2 hours. After a few days, I no longer needed to make noise to get him to lay down. After he mastered that, I tried sitting next to the crib, then next to the door, and then I left completely. Less than 2 months later and things are pretty good at bedtime. He still wakes up a lot though. Now we just need to keep him out of our bed all night.

It also sounds like because of being awake on and off all night as if she is not getting enough sleep. My son is still having this problem because he nurses on and off all night. We do an early bedtime starting the routine at 6:30. He naps twice a day for at least 2 hours each. On days when he wakes up less overnight, I keep the naps shorter.

You might also consider having her evaluated by early intervention. My son was evaluated a couple of weeks ago and they did mention that he is Very busy and might have some sensory problems. Also has a speech delay.

Good luck!!!

I watched a news video about a little boy that couldn't sleep. He would wake all the time and only nod off for short periods. He was cranky and some behavior problems too. It turns out he had some kind of medical condition. When the doctors figured it out and he was treated, he started sleeping a full night and his behavior improved greatly.

I just remember the slightest details I'm sorry. maybe if you google "little boy that couldn't sleep" you will find the news report.

Never know it can't hurt to give it a shot.

You poor thing! It sound like it might be time to see a sleep specialist. I hear Dr Weisbluth (not sure of the spelling) is in Chicago. He is the guy who wrote 'Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child'.

It does sound that she is overtired or that the food sensitivities are effecting this. (My friends little girl uses the 'Breaking the Vicious Cycle' diet for some very strong food sensititvities.)

As you proceed, listen to your mom gut. And try to get some help if you can. If a friend would come and help (or relative) let them. Being on your own a lot, is so hard especially when you are overtired.

I widh I could be more help.

That is rough-my heart goes out to you!
You already received some really great posts...I just wanted to add my mom's story. When my brother was around 2 he got really freaked out by the fireworks on 4th of July. AFter that he cried hysterically at bed-time and had nightmares throughout the night. She was very anti-cosleeping but did it with him (her 4th child!) b/c it was the ONLY thing that worked. She did it until he was 5.
To this day, she still can't understand the whole thing but I guess some things aren't meant for us to understand...just to deal with!
Anyway, hope some of these wonderful mom's advice helps!

My son is the same way. He was sleeping great until his 3rd and 4th teeth came in. Since 7 months old (he is 11 months now) he has been the worst sleeper! I bought the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, and I have seen a big difference. He has gone from 30 minute naps to 1 to 1 1/2 hour naps. And as long as he is in bed by 7:30, he will sleep for 4 to 5 hours at time for 12 hours! I highly recommend this book!!! Next month, when he turns 1, we are going to to cut out the night nursing with this books suggestions. It offers very gentle and effective methods! Good luck!

HI A.,

I am sorry to hear about your challenges. I have a 13-month old and when my daughter was born she had her days & nights mixed up so she would sleep all day and want to party all night. I was a zombie, so while she no longer does that I can feel the pain of being a sleep deprived parent. NOT FUN!

You asked for creativity, and here goes a try. One thing my hubby and I did with my baby was actually sit by her bed and hold her down.(She sleeps on her belly) not sure if this would work with a back sleeper, but what it did for my daughter was CALM her down. We would lean over the crib and rub her back/holding her down at the same time. It would help her to stop moving and relax. It took about 10-15 (sometimes longer) minutes but it was worth it to get a 90min nap and/or a full nights sleep.

I don't know if you believe this, but "energy begets energy" so as long as my baby was still moving around her crib she would wake herself up and only gain more energy from playing in the crib. If you think about it, adults are the same way. We can go all day running errands, but the moment we actually sit down and rest, our bodies can relax and in some cases we even fall alseep.

In addition to that "somewhat creative" idea, I am not sure if one of the books you read was Babywise? Most people either Love it or Hate it but I Loved it. It helped me get my daughter on a good schedule and build good sleeping skills. She now takes 2 naps 60-90 minutes each and sleeps 10-11 hrs a night with no wake-ups.

One last shot at creativity, If all else fails, PRAY and ask God for wisdom. I have NO SHAME in calling on a higher power in desperate times. A., there have been many nights when I would pray to Jesus to help my baby relax and fall asleep. I believe God wants you and I to be the best parents we can be and we can not do that without the proper rest, so I have to believe that YES even our BIG God cares about this little important issue.

A., I wish you the best and I will pray for you!

No creativity here :)- I mostly just wanted to say that you're not alone as far as sleep issues go. My 12 month still hasn't slept through the night. Eventually they have to- right!? I hope :). I breast feed, so to help all of us get more sleep with her frequent wakings, she has ended up sleeping in our bed. That way, I can breast feed right there with little interruption to her and my sleep. No judgements from well-meaning mommies please- I know many feel that cosleeping is a no no and I've heard all of the reasons. I think every family has to do what works for them. Good luck- let us know if you find something that works!

Hi A.,

I don't really have any new advice but I just wanted to send my warm thoughts and some strength your way. You are in a truly difficult situation and I hope you get resolution soon. I can't even imagine...ugh!

One recommendation I will make is to call the Fussy Baby Network http://www.erikson.edu/fbn.aspx. It's a free service at the Erikson Institute in Chicago. They will analyze the situation and make recommendations, sometimes even coming out to your house to work with your family,,,for free.They really helped me a lot with my son's sleeping, eating, behavioral issues.

Big hug, good luck!

Wow! That is a lot to take. I had an abbreviated problem like yours, when i tried to teach my daughter to go to bed on her own. She would stand in her crib screaming at the top of her lungs!! She would be so adamant not to lay down she would actually fall asleep standing up with her throat on the crib rail & choke herself!! I too think letting them scream it out is cruel. Fortunately, i found a good bedtime routine for my daughter. I would suggest that you call a sleep clinic. Maybe there is something going on physically. At worst you could rule out a medical reason for the terrbile sleeping habits. I know loyola has a sleep clinic. Good luck!

A.,
I had problems with all three of my children, so I totally empathize! I didn't have the throwing up part, but many other issues. Some of the things you tried worked for my oldest 2 and then my youngest came along and nothing worked on her. My pediatrician recommended Melatonin. It is a natural hormone in your body. I used it "TEMPORARILY," to help my daughter fall asleep and establish good sleep patterns. I think a week or 10 days tops. YOU MUST CHECK WITH YOUR PEDIATRICIAN FIRST! I am not a medical professional and do not know the dosage for such a young child or what a pediatrician would say about a child under 1 year old. My daughter was 3 years old when I used this. She had some good sleep nights and some bad. Her problem was shutting down at night and falling asleep. Please do your research first. I know you feel desperate and this might be your answer, but but ask your doctor. Good luck!!!!

A.,
You have probably tried some of these already, but I'm going to tell you anyway. My children are two years apart, and I have developed sleeping problems because of them. Try classical music(Baby Einstein's or something else), reading a few short stories(stories for bedtime), J&J Chamomile/Lavender Bodywash, continue the rocking, a favorite program they like to watch before bed,make sure well-fed and anything else you've been told!

It will get better, it just takes time.

All the Best

OH MOM, I feel so for your dilemma, I think that maybe this is her way of getting that one-on-one -attention that she lacks during your busy days together....does she get outside into the fresh air and get to exhaust herself...Seems so...
I am wondering if you could get some help for a week or 2 so that she could get a little more daytime attention and be read to or played with or???
Have you considered chamomile tea? It is a relaxant...or a warm bath before bed and gentle reading to her with possibly a soothing CD music left playing...They have ones called lullabies for babies....maybe a lighted mobile that she could focus on if she does wake up during the night...
Does she wake because she is wet, or cold, or too warm at night?
MY young son went thru a stage of nightmares that upset him during one phase of his baby development. Hopefully this will pass soon...
Can you give her a solid dinner of food so that she isn't hungry in the night...the bottles of milk are not good for her little teeth...I wish you well... Mom of 3 grown

Have you tried a sound machine? Not music but a sound machine. I used to have a similar problem with my daughter and the sound machine is great. with music everytime the song would change she would wake up. The sound machine is constant, so she sleeps alot better. Every once in a while she climbs into our bed (she is almost 3 now) but its alot better than before.

I can relate!! My son is 15-months and still wakes up several times screaming. He wants two things: a bottle and to be in bed with me (my husband works nights). I give in to both since it used to settle him down, but now he is waking up 2-3 times a night, even after I put him in my bed. I too have tried many techniques, and am a walking zombie during the day.

I am hoping he will out-grow it. My 3 yo daughter still woke up for a bottle in the night until she was about 17-18 months. She has no sleeping issues now.

I am hoping the same with my son. Please let me know what you find out or what ends up working for you.