I have two different issues. The first issue is that our 3 year old son just doesn't listen at all. We have tried time-outs and even resorted to spanking and nothing works. Any advise would be appreciated.
Second issue is our son just won't go to sleep. We have tried the supernanny approach and he just thinks we are playing. I have tried sitting with my back to him in his room and I am just to much of a distraction.
He does have Cystic Fibrosis - so he does kind of have a different diet than most kids. Fatty foods and greasy foods are actually good for him. Although we really don't give really greasy foods.
Hi J.
I would have him tested for sensory issues. especially if pressing him into bed helps. my daughter was the same way when she was three. she is under sensitive so she liked when I yelled or put her in time out because it gave her a rush of adreanil. so we started occupational therpay and it helped almost over night good luck T.
Three was a tricky age for us as well. As a parent you think they should be able to start controlling their own behavior and should know the rules and follow them, but in reality they are still little kids with no impulse control and a short memory for rules. Stay patient. Repeat rules frequently especially before going somewhere. I used to review my expectations right before we would get out of the car. Make sure he is well fed and well rested before going out in public.
Review his diet. Start by removing all artificial dyes (especially red #40. Remove as much processed sugar and HFCS as feasible. Limit simple carbohydrates and choose high protein snacks and make sure he gets plenty of good fats in his diet rather than just carbs. Add flax seed or fish oil supplements. Give him lots of exercise. If he needs a snack before bed only allow protein based snacks.
You don't say how many hours of sleep he gets in 24 hours and how it is divided up with naps versus night. At age 3 we had to play around with bedtime hour to see whether moving it up or moving it back made a difference. One thing that helped my son was to "press" him into bed. When he was twitchy and wiggly, we would ask him to lay on his back and we would start at his forehead pressing down with the heel of our hand. Hold pressure about 15 seconds, then move to both shoulders, then elbows, hands, hips, thighs, ankles. Then we start moving back up the body and end with his forehead. He said it helped feel attached to the bed. Also adding "weight" such as a heavy blanket or a blanket tucked in tightly, or even a pile of stuffed animals pressed down on top of him helped. Some people even make weighted blankets.
Don't know what will do the trick for your little guy but remember as in all stages of childhood, this too shall pass.
I took a "Commonsense Parenting for Toddlers and Preschoolers" class and it really helped for almost all issues. If there is no class in your area, you can still order the book on Boys Town website. But I found the class really good because the other parents help give some perspective!
How much exercise does he get each day, and what is his diet like?
My son is only 16 months old, but if he doesn't get outside and get a nice long walk in 2-3 times/day, he is hell on wheels! I feel like I have to take him for a walk, just like a little dog. ;-)
Most foods marketed to kids (juice drinks, Spaghetti O's, fruit snacks) are actually pretty horrible nutriton-wise. Just because someting boasts that it has 100% of this vitamin or extra calcium does NOT mean it is healthy--one has to read the ingredient list to get the full story. Yes, high fructose corn syrup probably IS okay in moderation as the commercials say, but HFCS is also the hallmark of cheap, overprocessed food, and it is in everything from bagels to crackers to juice drinks to frozen dinners. It causes a spike in blood sugar levels when consumed.
Also, artificial colors and preservatives have been known to make children hyper and uncontrollable. My brother could not eat processed meats as a youngster--pepperoni would make him crazy.
More about his bedtime.... Maybe his current bedtime is too early? Could you push back his bedtime a little? Is he still taking a nap--maybe it is time to forego it. Maybe wake him up earlier in the morning, so he's sleepier at night? Just some thoughts. Good luck to you.
P.S. Some other thoughts.... Has anything medical (diabetes, thyroid) been ruled out?
