Sleeping for My 1 Year Old

She will probably still need time to adjust.You could try letting her sleep with you for a while.Then move her bed in by yours and gradually get her used to the idea of that being "her bed".After that accomplishment you may be able to move her to "her room".Praise her alot about it and with a little patience it just may work.

You can not just close the door and leave her to cry. What will that do for her? What will that do for you? What will that accomplish? It won't teach her how to sleep. It won't teach her that you are there for her. It won't help you as part of your job of being a loving and comforting mother. It will surely only cause frustration for everyone because you will have a very upset toddler who is crying at the top of her lungs because she has no idea what is going on and what to do. Little ones have to be taught how to sleep. They don't automatically know how. A routine is a smart idea. It teaches babies what to expect and what is expected. Babies and children thrive on routine. It's something they will come to know and trust. It provides security.

Your daughter has been thru a lot of changes recently-foster home now your home and I'm sure more that we don't know about. All of this is very difficult for a little one to adjust to. She is 15 months old and needs to re bond with you if she has been away in foster care.

Dr. Sears Infant sleep Book and the no-cry sleep solution are very very good book to learn about infant/baby sleep and kind and gentle ways to help little ones learn to sleep well.

Also, when I had an infant and a 3 year old I would sit with them in the 3 year old's bed, read stories, etc to get the 3 year old to sleep then I'd go put the baby to bed. I could very easily nurse the baby and keep her happy while getting the 3 year old to sleep.

Have you thought about looking into parenting classes? They can be a great help learning about routines, ideas to deal with the stress that comes with being a mommy to little ones, etc.

***Added-no one thinks you look bad and you def didn't offend anyone! I'm a very matter of fact mama so my answers are usually to the point. But I commend you for coming on here and asking for ideas. The reason I phrased my answer the way I did is because lots of people never stop and think about what the whole cry it out thing does to the baby. A lot of people don't realize or understand that little ones have to be taught how to sleep. Best to you and your babies. -d

You've only had her back in your life for two months. She needs to know that you are there for her and will comfort her. She still adjusting to living with you again. You need to create a night time routine. About an hour before bed give her a bath, jammies, brush her teeth and then take her to bed. Once there read her a story and maybe sing her a song. Make her feel comfy, safe and love. I choose to parent my children to sleep (sing, read, whatever until they fall asleep) and I do see CIO as cruel, especially for a 15 month old who is trying to learn to trust in her mother again. As for the 3 month old I would suggest wearing her in a carrier while this is going on. This will keep her happy and content with you while still giving you both hands to help get your older child to sleep.

Hi A., I don't think you've offended anyone. I think all the moms here genuinely want to help.
Good for you for taking your parenting classes and reaching out on this site. You have a lot on your plate.
Assuming it is just you and the babies every night, why not all co-sleep in the same bed, or at least in the same room. Even with co-sleeping, like another poster mentioned, a consistent schedule is important. Do it the same way every night (as realisticly possible anyway), and eventually, both babies will know exactly what to expect every night.
Good luck to you, I hope you'll keep asking questions!

:)

I commend you for telling your story. I am a foster care worker and I see this with children recently returned home. Just be patient with her. She is still getting used to being back with you. She also might be feeling like if you leave the room she won't see you again. Just be patient and give it some time. She will settle down and things will get easier. Just be consistant with her bed time routine, that may help too. Another suggestion may be to ask the foster parent what her bed time routine was. It maybe hard, but they can be a resource for you.

Many people hear the phrase "cry it out" and immediately think the baby is laying there for hours screaming itself to sleep. Not necessarily the case. I would not advise that method. But most people who use a sleep method called crying it out do a lot of checking on their kids. Its important for kids to learn to self soothe. A pacifier or thumb to suck helps, but some kids want nothing to do with that. Having the room dark and quiet (or using some white noise - like a box fan - to drown out the household noises) helps a lot too. Some kids can sleep anywhere, others need the environment to be perfect.

My kids sleep much better in a quiet dark room, but they have learned (though lots of traveling) to sleep in the car or in a brighter noisier room. However they do cry longer.

If you're interested in crying it out I'd suggest researching the different methods out there. Dr. Ferber has one (http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp...) that you can buy or find in your local library. Also you can watch some SuperNanny episodes on www.hulu.com to see how she handles it (slightly different, but still affective). Basically my biggest advise is pick a method and be consistent.

Probably a lot of this is attention seeking, older child is back with you again, has competition from younger baby for your attention, etc... Make sure you're carving out time for the older one as much as possible.

I would NOT advise letting her sleep with you. That will solve NOTHING!!!! It will be a new habit that you have to break later on. I also don't advise laying down with her as she sleeps, again, she's not learning to self soothe but rather to NEED YOU to fall asleep. She is needing to learn that when you put her down to bed, you're there if she needs you, and you're there when she wakes up. Its okay to be alone to sleep. It might take a while, but she can learn this and it will make her a more confident and independent child!

Also 15 min of crying at bedtime is normal and okay for a child. Parents who are AFRAID to let their kids cry end up being super manipulated by the kid. All the child has to do is cry and mom jumps in to do whatever it takes to make them stop. Imagine how these kids are when they are older - teens!

Best wishes! I can't imagine having two babies in the house, my 16 month old is enough, lol! Hang in there!

Please do not let her just cry! She will be terrified and feel abandoned. Can't she sleep in your bed with you or at least in your room until she's older, maybe having naps in her own room?

I am not a fan of the "cry it out" method. To me, it only says to your baby you are not going to be there when she needs you. From what you said you have already been separated from her for a time. She needs lots of consistent lovins' and reassurance that you are coming back for her. There is nothing wrong with laying down with her and your new baby for naps and bedtime. You can slowy merge it into a different routine once she is settled in with you in her new environment. It sounds like she came home right after you had another baby and you have some things to get used to also. Be patient and love on her alot. It will work out. All the best to you!