Sleep Sense Program

I swear by the book, "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer". It helped with both my children. They both sleep in their own beds all night long! They go to bed easily at 7:30 and sleep like champs! They are 5 and 2 1/2 now. Give it a try!

Hi J.,
We have that book and loved it! Very good tips, well laid out plan, and an easy read. I've recommended it to several friends and wish I had it earlier with my kids.

Well worth it as far as I'm concerned.

K.

7 months is so young to sleep through the night! Savor the night feedings & cuddling because it ends so quickly. You will sleep the night again (well almost I still find myself waking for no reason). I nightweaned both of mine at 18 months when they were old enough to understand. I also co-sleep (mny daughter who is 4 asked for her own bed a couple of months ago) so that too will end as well. I used advice from "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I would wait until your son was a little older & just try to catch sleep when you can, you won't be able to do that if you have a 2nd. I always nursed my children to sleep & it is something you can gradually replace with other things, it is all a process.
Brekka

"At some point" doesn't happen at 7 months... at this age, breastfed babies seldom develop sleep patterns. The reason is this: their metabolic changes are happening rapidly - they are growing like gangbusters, developing teeth, their brain neurons are firing all over the place from constant stimulation of new things...

Once he gets to 12 months and you introduce foods, he will tend to sleep less frequently but his sleeping during the day may shorten as well.

J., don't plan on getting a "regular" night's sleep with any consistency until your baby is past teething (3 or 4 years), and even then, he will get sick and you will lose sleep for weeks on end.

By now you have probably figured out that mother is exhausting. Don't worry, it gets better by degrees every day, and the whole things gets much easier (less exhausting) when your child turns four or five.

By the way, letting a child 'cry it out' will only make him more likely to cling to you when you are not forcing him to do so. Children under the age of 3 don't understand where a parent goes when they leave the room because their brains are not developed enough to understand the idea of other rooms in the house, etc. Because of this, when you leave the room your son will panic, especially if he cries and you don't come back. The best way to encourage abandonment issues in a child is to leave them crying. People (even doctors) who promote these methods of parenting are obviously not aware of this simple fact.

More advice ~ it's hard sometimes, but enjoy this baby stage as long as you can, even as exhausting as it is... very soon he will crawl/walk away from you and holding him will be a thing of the past.

I'm currently reading The no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantly. I bought the toddler edition one since my son is 11 months. My husband read the cry it out one by Dr Ferber. We have taken things from both books to do what is comfortable for us. We tried the cry it out first and it doesn't work 100%, so I bought the other one. So far I like it a lot.

Sorry I didn't use that program, but this I know---do NOT nurse your child to sleep. They will start to relate falling asleep/sleeping with being with you & you'll never get them to fall asleep on their own or fall back asleep if they wake up during the night!!! Nurse, then do a bedtime routine, then put child to bed awake, but sleepy!!!! I was having problems with one of M. girls when I switched their schedule around, then I remembered this & the second night she went right down & slept through the whole night (or if she woke up, she didn't wake me)!!! The best sleep advice I can give you is to stay on a consistent schedule and always do it in this order: eat, wake time, sleep then repeat! Don't put to sleep right after eating (unless nursing in the middle of the night)!!! GOOD LUCK!

I am a mother of 4 and although it can be stressful and hard to let your baby cry, it is good for him to learn to self-soothe. By not allowing him to cry himself to sleep and providing him the opportunity to sleep in your bed, nursing whenever he feels like it is creating a security with him that will be difficult to break later on. I sounds to me like he is using you as a "pacifier or nuk" in the night. My sister allowed her first born to co-sleep and it took 3 years to get her out of their bed. Babies cry. And you will not be doing your baby any harm in letting him cry for a while.

J.,

I am going to go against the grain here and tell you I did not like the Sleep Sense Program. If you have any common sense of your own (no offense to the people that liked the program) you can adjust your child sleep as you need to. I got this thinking it was going to tell me something I did not already know. It was the same information that you can get from anyone here or your friends and family(for free). There was alot of crying it out used in the program and if you are up for that then just do it. You don't need a program to instruct you how. Do what works best for you and your child. It is not going to be easy but all will work out in the end.

Good Luck!

Yes, my daughter is 18 months and I did the sleep sense program at 11 months-I waited way too long. It worked like a charm by the second night. She was sleeping in her crib all night, it was so fantastic. I was in the same boat you were. She would nurse falling asleep, then wake about 6-7 times, and end up with me in bed, my husband would go on the couch (queen size bed). It was crazy. Was so glad I did this. I waited to do the naps, and still, at this age, she nurses to sleep for naps-am breaking that this week. I suggest doing it ALL at once-you will be glad you did. Although, at 15 months, she climbed out of her crib, so she is now in a toddler bed, with a gate at her door. Which, last week, she climbed over her gate. So, don't know what to do now. Anyway, they still have their occasional wakings, but it is so much better than before. It is worth the $50. I was so terrified to try it the first night, but it is not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Go for it!!

Oh J., I do so feel for you. It is really hard when they are little. Let me tell you what worked for me. I'm not sure if it will work for you but you can see if you like it. My hubby went off to grad school in another state when my baby was 8 weeks old. I stayed home. Since he wasn't around, I had to put the baby on some type of schedule or else I wouldn't have been able to survive. (Sleep deprivation and I do not work well together.) Luckily, my baby was the type of kid who works better under a schedule. It was difficult at first and took some weeks but then it also helped him sleep through the night. The key to my baby was that I had to make sure he 1)consumed a certain amount of milk (and later food) during the day. If he didn't, then I knew it would be harder for him to sleep through the night because he would be genuinely hungry. 2)I was lucky because his room was on a different floor from my bedroom so I couldn't hear him crying unless I had the baby monitor on (I also had the kind which had a tv screen )and I had it positioned on the wall above his crib so I could actually see what he was doing in the crib.So, when I had to do the "cry it out" method, I couldnt' hear him unless I turned on the monitor. So, if I decided he had to cry for 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, etc. I just didn't have the monitor on for that time and then woudl turn it on afterwards. 3)I'd put the baby down at 7 pm but then wake him (if he didn't wake up on his own) at 10pm to feed him. He wasn't really wide awake, still sleepy but it gave him the extra food to make it through until 7am. As he gained more weight, I found that he was able to make it for 12 hours through the night. I was also pretty consistent with the naps and the feedings during the day. I also found that as he got older, he would need a certain level of stimulation and activity or he wouldn't be tired enough to sleep. I had the luxury of being able to do this because I became a stay at home mom (I had saved enough to keep myself home for 2 years while my hubby went off to school. We were lucky because his company paid for his grad school and technically kept him on the books.)Good luck!

Try the book "Good Night Sleep Tight" by Kim West. It worked wonders for our daughter - and for my sanity. We only heard about it when she was 14 months old, and I wish we had used her ideas from birth. There is absolutely NO CRYING involved! It takes some time and patience to implement it, but it is so, so worth it. Good Luck.

yep I have tried the Sleep Sense program and I think it worked great for our family. The crying part was a little difficult in the beginning and we had anout 2 months of pure hell but now our little girl (1yr) is a good predictable sleeper and we almost never deviate from the schedule. For us the key was consistency and the ability to follow the sleep wake cycles.

Let me know if you have any more questions
Good luck

J.,

I have 4 children. The problem with todays parents is they think the child has to be in their bed. Number one this is dangerous (this can result in one of the parents accidently smothering the baby in their sleep - and trust me, I saw this happen when I worked in the ER.....was written off to SIDS to protect the parents). Number two, you will set up a hard to break pattern where they will think this is their sleeping place. I did this: When my babies were tiny infants, I placed their bassinette next to my bed. When they lightly fussed during the night, I was able to reach over to them and rub their tummy. This was calming. As they aged, and rebelled (ie: age 18months and up), and were in their own room, I would go to them if they cried, but I would not pick them up. As a if they were clean and fed and not ill, then I would NOT pick them up. I would coo them and they would protest, but I would then say "good night" and leave. Doing this 2-3 times, they tire and go to sleep. You have to be consistent. It's ok for a child to cry......it's actually is a sign of a healthy child. Just remember, You Are The Parent. You feed your baby and you put them to bed. They wake up hungry, you feed/change them, then back to bed. Start the pattern young, or you're going to have your hands full.

Good luck!

I'm not familiar with the Sleep Sense Program, but have been in your shoes. I tried the cry it out thing with my first when he was nearly one. Didn't work, though all the books say it will. I regret trying it now. He started sleeping through the night when I weaned him at 18 months. My second didn't sleep through the night until I weaned her as well, and she fell asleep on her own, not through nursing. (The night feedings were the last to go... should've been the first.) They're both good sleepers now, but it's rough when you're going through it. I'm on the same path with the third. I'd say stay with what you're doing until you're willing to cut out the night feedings, and the problem will solve itself. But most of all, do what feels right and comfortable for you and your baby. If the same thing worked for everyone, there wouldn't be dozens of books on this topic with conflicting advice!

I purchased the sleep sense program last spring and LOVED it! It gives you several options on how to implement the program. I went with it because an old professor of mine has actually met her and really liked her "attitude" about sleep methods.

You can get your money back if you are not satisfied, so I would go ahead and try it!

read something - anything by william sears.

but you will be less dissappointed if you dont expect too much. my son is 16 1/2 months and still doesnt "sleep through the night".

its GREAT that you do not want to let him cry!!! dont let anyone tell you otherwise!!!! it is so important that we remain connected to our kids and responsive to their needs, even though it is EXHAUSTING!!!

you will get a full nights sleep someday. you might just have to go to bed earlier, or something, to make up for interrupted sleep. maybe dad could get up with the baby.

my cousins son was 7 months old when she stopped going to him at night, and she sent dad. once the kid realized mom wasnt getting up with him at night anymore, he started sleeping better. i didnt do this with my son cuz it was too hard for my husband to get up at night, so we are still partially cosleeping. he will sleep in his crib in our room sometimes waking at 2 and sometimes not until 5 or 6 if we are lucky. then he wont go back in his bed, and for now that is ok. it is less than cosleeping all night, but still getting the opportunity to cuddle with him and wake up with him.

i really appreciate your story because it is so close to what my son did, its nice to know that someone else does this with their kids too! so keep up the great parenting, and keep hope that you will sleep someday, but these moments are quick to pass. even though you are tired, you wont regret doing what you are doing.. it really is the best thing you can possibly do for your child is to be so.... attached!!! if you havent read william sears's books you will love them because he encourages the attachment parenting. he has books for everything, including sleep, and you can find lots of used ones on amazon that could be as low as 2$!!

anyway, yeah, i know exactly how you feel, but you will get sleep! someday!!