Sleep Issues with 4 Year Old

My 4 y/o DD was the same way, still is on some nights. She is terrified once we leave the room and the screaming starts. She sleeps with a night light on, a few select 'babies' to keep her company, her door open, and there's also a night light in the bathroom right near her room. She doesn't like complete darkness. Also, at night things in her room take on a whole new scary look in the dark, so I would ask your daughter if there's something in her room scaring her, it sounds like there is? My daughter was scared of all the animals in her pet nets, so we removed them. You need to find the source of her fears. You said your daughter goes down at 7pm. maybe extend bedtime by a 1/2 hour. We also go up and check on our daughter frequently when she first goes to bed, we reassure her we're just in the living room if she needs anything. I really think this is a normal thing for their age.

A lot of people sleep on very firm surfaces..... would she be willing to sleep on a thin mattress on the floor? If not, why not just make a bed for her on the floor? If that is what will get her back into a sleep routine, just go with it. If it is cool on the floor, make sure she has warm pj's and good blankets.

Check out Dr. Ferber's sleep training book, we used it for our son and it worked great. There's a chapter for each sort of sleep problem and how to fix it. We were amazed at how quickly his methods worked- only 3 days to get him to sleep in his crib by himself through the night. Now we need it again because he's in his "big boy bed"- so I totally understand the frustrations of a child who won't sleep at night!

Wow, you have tried all the best ideas already!

Here's an idea maybe to try -- put all the steps of her bedtime routine on scraps of paper (illustrated would be best), and ask her to put them in order. Include "Scream and cry," "go to sleep on the floor," "go to sleep in my cozy bed," as well as "Mommy sings me a song," "Daddy reads me a story," "I read to myself for a few minutes," or a few other ideas to include in a bedtime routine. Have her compose the way it should be. I think at 4 she is just trying to take control of how things should go.

Another couple of ideas -- it's impossible to make a child go to sleep, but we can discipline them for getting out of bed. When I transitioned my kids from the crib, they had such a hard time with their new freedom and couldn't learn to stay put! I had to tell them I would take their pillow away for a few seconds if they were not ready to use it. And I did, and they cried for 10 seconds, and then I gave their pillows back and told them I loved them and I knew they would do a good job learning the rule about staying in bed. This method is especially effective after buying new sheets or a new pillowcase. Oh, and if YOU pretend to want to be in that bed -- just lie down in it and say loudly how cozy and beautiful it is, and how it makes you feel sleepy and you don't feel like sharing it, that really helps.

Another idea is to stay just outside the door and sing, read a story, or count. Sometimes kids just have a bit of separation anxiety all of a sudden. For a few months when bedtime was especially hard, I would sit outside the door and count out loud, just to be soothing. I would count to 300! But counting that high guaranteed that my girls were asleep by the end. Or I would read a chapter book, just outside the door. Singing lullabies also helped -- I used to sing them myself, just standing outside the door, but now we have a CD. I think singing them myself was maybe more effective, but the lullabies on CD work pretty good too.

Oh, one other thing, sometimes it helps to do the bedtime routine during the day, just for play and practice. Have your kid pretend to sleep for a minute or two, and say, "good morning!" and practice again.

Isn't it weird how some kids go to sleep at night without troubles? Oh well, keep at it, and good luck!