Sleep Deprived Mom and Dad

Updated on June 20, 2006
H.R. asks from Kansas City, MO
6 answers

My husband and I are having a hard time getting our 10 month old to sleep in his own bed. It all started when he was sick and needed supervision through the night and we brought him to bed with us, now he will start out in his own bed but will wake up in the night and won't go back to sleep unless he is in our bed. I love the closeness but he wants to take his 1/3rd of the bed out of both sides! Help me! We've tried everything, and neither one of us can stand to let him cry it out. And I don't like the Ferber method. Other than that we will try anything!

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B.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Girl, I feel your pain...but mine is three years old. She wins the battle pretty much every night. I just wear myslef out trying to get her to sleep in her own bed. Not that you should take advice from me because, obviously I'm not doing so great but...On the TV show Super Nanny the nanny shows parents that if they put the baby in bed then just sit on the floor, the baby will cry but at least your in the room with him. She then tells the parent to slowly move themselves closer to the door. It the baby trys to stand up or get out of bed, then the parent is supposed to get up and lay the baby back down with out speaking to the baby or even making eye contact. I guess you just have to do this as long or as many times as it takes until baby goes to sleep. It sounds rough but it may save you some many sleepless nights, in the coming years.

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R.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi H.,
We have the same problem as well. Our 9 month old girl is starting to want to sleep in our bed at night, and we get NO sleep. We let her CIO a couple of weeks ago and she started putting herself to sleep in her crib. Then, last week she was sick, and we felt sorry for her, so we brought her into our bed in the middle of the night when she woke up. Is there any way you can give him a bottle or something, ONLY in his bed? That way he only gets it if he is lying in his bed? It IS frustrating! I am thinking our only way is to CIO...it is frustrating...let me know if you get any good advice!

R.
____@____.com
I worked with children with disabilities before I had her. I loved it!

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L.R.

answers from Kansas City on

My four year old son has been in & out of our bed since he was 2. My husband is home only on Saturday & Sunday due to work. Kennedy is better at sleeping in his room if he knows we are all going to bed. He has two sister 12 & 18. We also bought a tV with DVD player so he has noise...just like Mom & Dad. He is limited to what he can watch (30 minute DVD's work great he's usually a sleep with in 15) Good Luck! My nights are alittle more peaceful.

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J.N.

answers from Kansas City on

If he wakes in the middle of the night try letting him come into your room, but put him in his own portable crib. That way he gets to be close to you, but he is not in your bed. Once you have established that he is not going to get in your bed then he may decide his own room is not so bad. My other recomendation is don't turn on lights or immiedately pick him up when he starts to fuss. My daughter occationally cries in her sleep and it will wake us both up. By leaving the lights off and rubbing her back my husband can sooth her back to sleep and she never completely wakes up. I have a couple of other tricks that might also work, but I would try those two first. Our daughter is 18 months old.

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M.P.

answers from Kansas City on

We have the same issue at my house! My almost-eleven month daughter has refused to sleep in her own bed for more than a few hours after she is first put down, after that it is a no-go. When we move her to our bed she sleeps through the night. Don't know if this helps you any, but what I am told is that it's probably separation anxiety and try to wait it out. So far, still waiting! Best of luck, and if you figure anything out, please share! :)
M.

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J.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Depending on your work schedule, if Friday and Saturday nights are the only nights you don't have to get up for work, you might trade off with hubby, getting up and rocking the baby to sleep. Don't placate him and let him into your bed anymore. You will never get him out. For example, you are off on Saturday, you get up and get a bottle, rock the baby back to sleep. Then on the night your husband doesn't have to work in the am, have him get up with the baby. My husband and I swap out weekends, he gets to sleep in one day, I get the other. If this doesn't work, you may have to let him cry. Also try a cuddle toy or blankie, so he can learn to soothe himself to sleep.

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