I am a single mom of two boys ages 9 and 13 years old. Our family is unique as we now have my dad (Papa) included since my mom (Nana) passed away last year. I need some suggestions. Due to a car accident I am now facing surgery to my right ankle. My surgergy is scheduled one week before Thanksgiving. I will be in a cast for six weeks after the surgergy (two days after Christmas)and using crutches to get around. I probably won't have the cast removed until a few days after New's Years. I currently am unable to work due to the accident. I am the gofer, chauffer, cook, laundry person, etc. After my surgery my dad is going to step in and take my place so to speak. I need suggestions of how to make things smoothe for my dad. He is not a good cook and the boys are worried that they will not eat as well. I have gotten the boys into a routine of picking up after themselves as my dad is not as patient nor willing to do everything for everyone as I do. Please give me any suggestions that any of you may have. Any advice will help us all. I am the one who takes care of everyone else and worry that this may be too much for my dad to handle. Thanks for any responses that any of you have.
Thank you everyone who gave me such great ideas. I was blessed to celebrate my birthday this past Sunday with my friends and family. My dad and boys bought me an 18 quart roasting pan that has a removable buffet section. I can use this roaster to cook crockpot style meals, roast meats (turkey, chicken, etc.), steam vegetables and more. So I have premade dinners that all of my guys will enjoy that can be warmed up in my new roaster. I have my surgery the day after tomorrow and things are looking well as far as prepartion has gone. I also have made a calender posted on the fridge of all appointments, times school gets out, etc. that way my dad will have a visual reminder. Once again everyone thanks for the great suggestions.
Crockpot. Cook up a storm, freeze alot before your surgery. crockpots are simple. make a list of the foods you want in it how long and what temp to cook it on. mix all your seasonings together in baggies and label them for what meal they go in. You can cook just about anything in a crock pot. good luck. :)
Hi T.,
At ages 9 and 13, your boys should be able to not only take care of themselves for the most part - but also take care of you! They should be able to set and stick to their own routine of getting ready for school, getting their own breakfast, getting out the door and doing their own homework and getting ready for bed. They should also be able to do some simple cooking .. like making spaghetti or macn'cheese or sandwiches and soup, ect .. I would put the most amount of responsibilities on them - split up the laundry between the two boys - have them alternate by days.. they can all cook together with your dad and the two of them can alternate days where they do the dishes. You have two young men at home - and have taken care of them since babyhood.. it's their turn to help take care of you!
Best to you!
-B.
Do you have friends who might step in and help? Maybe they can invite the boys for dinner or to spend the night. As far as the boys worrying that they will not eat as well as they do when you are there to cook for them, well...they could easily learn to cook a few things themselves. But secondly, they may just need to learn to deal with it. These kinds of things happen. Your boys are old enough to take a bit of responsibility for themselves during this potentially difficult time. I would express a lot of faith in the boys' ability to deal with this. Sit down with them and explain your expectations. Get them on your team! My kids started doing their own laundry when they were six. It's time your boys learned. In fact, kids LIKE to have some responsibility. Makes them feel grown up. Let them know you love them and will count on them, then practice whatever it is with them and give them some leeway. Make it fun. You seem to be someone who enjoys do most things for your kids and that's great. But now is a time when they can give back to you and learn something important in the process.
Best wishes.
I would just say plan ahead. Cook and freeze some foods, find some good frozen things from the store in advance, so you can look for good, yummy, healthy stuff. Maybe even make up a skeleton plan for meals in advance, week by week, so the plan is in place, even if some of the leg-work (so to speak) still needs to be done.
Find activities you can still do with your kids while you're "down"...you mentioned enjoying reading together. Maybe reserve some library books, or get some new special books to read together, or get together a collection of old favorites. Or watch a favorite movie together, or have an art project or two (or something) ready in advance for you guys to do together.
Since you do homecare, you know how important it is for you to do the rest and self-care you're supposed to do, so you can bounce back in the healing time!! Just do your best, and try to keep your sense of humor, and open lines of communication with people as much as possible, and patience!!!
Any other help you can get, a friend to bring something for dinner, take the kids out for an afternoon, or maybe even a sleep-over at a friend's house, or any other help, just allow people to lend a hand (I know that can be hard sometimes, but it's OK!! =) Really!!)
WOW! You sure do have your hands full! I've never had the same situation as you, but I have a few tips I learned as a single mom going through nursing school.
First, Set up a rewards chart for the boys-if they already have one, increase the stakes-is there anything big that they want, or cash works quite nicely for my daughter ;-)
Second, invest in a large slow cooker (crock pot)if you don't have one and a good easy slow cooker cookbook. This is a good one: http://www.amazon.com/3-Ingredient-Slow-Cooker-Comfort-Fo....
With a big enough cooker, there should be plenty of leftovers. It's really easy to throw chicken breasts into the cooker with a jar of salsa and voila: burrito filling.
Third, make a lot of casserole type dishes ahead of time-Lasagna, enchiladas, etc. and freeze them.
I have a Foodsaver, and have sealed pieces of Lasagna (it helps to cut into squares, freeze, then seal it or else it gets squished) taste fresh after three months.
Do you have a gas grill? A large package of frozen burgers or brats go a long way.
And speaking from personal experience (I had a cast from my elbow to the tips of my fingers a few years ago and was also in an accident a few weeks ago that has caused bad back/neck pain), DON'T be afraid to ask for help!! Also, don't get worried if the laundry doesn't get folded how you want it, or doesn't get put away. Let the furniture get dusty, if one of them vacuums for you, don't expect them to move things. These are just little things to live with for a few months and when you're healed it will all be better!
Good luck!!!
Wow! Kudos to you for all you do. I was fortunate to take an organzation class while in college. I am not that organized, but this class helped me to apply some techniques and see some things that would help in a situation similar to yours.
In a 3-ring binder make a weekly/monthly calendar of all you do and when you do it. Include where cleaning supplies are located, etc. and how it is done. This way your father and sons will be able to reference this and not always come to you with questions.
For meals I recommend going to http://allrecipes.com and picking recipes that you and your family like. Pick recipes that use the crock pot and marinaded meats. I recommend allrecipes because there is a grocery list function. Then buy and do the prep work for however many meals you think you may need and then label and freeze them, includign the recipe in your 3-ring binder. I usually make 20 at a time. There may also be books at the library or in your own recipe collection that you want to use. You will want to also buy frozen or canned veggies to go with each meal or suggested fresh veggies. If you have never done this before you may want to check out: http://savingdinner.com/. Everything is well organized and easy to follow.
Of course talk this over with your family and get them involved. The more ownership they feel while you are healthy, the better things will go when you are not.
If you weren't on the other side of the state, I'd bring you a frozen meal. God bless. May all go well.
Hey T.,
Sorry to hear you are going through so much right now. Just know that you WILL get through this. I just have one idea that might help your family out. It's called Dinner's Ready and they are really good and easy to do. Just look them up on there website, they can do all the meal preparation for you. I hope this helps. Take care, M.
