Signs of Pre-puberty

I thought you were talking about my daughter! My daughter is going to be 10 in a couple weeks and had the exact same things going on. She just started to develop a little bit, cries about such little things, gets irritated easily.....and says the same thing about being fat. Shes real skinny! I started to notice she acts that way in a schedule just like PMS does. I swear its all hormonal. She has been like this for about 6 to 8 months. I hope it does get better like someone else said! I had the talk with her and now Im just wondering when shes going to start. I think its pretty normal for a lot of girls and remember we are all individuals. Just because she has certain symptoms that some kids didnt have doesnt mean shes getting abused or has some huge underlying issue. Good luck!

Hi B.,
I have a friend who's daughter was going through the same thing and a few months later she started her period. She was 10. Maybe she is going through some puberty now? They couldn't believe it either but it does happen. Good luck, I have a 9 year old daughter and I'm cautious about it also.

Talk to your daughter, NOW!! Sounds to me like somebody may be picking on her. School kids can be down right cruel. You couldn't pay me enough to go back. I think it sounds like someone may have told her she is fat just as a way to hurt her and guess what, it's working. Don't let it continue. Make sure that she is not being abused in the physical sense as well. My son went through that. He suffered pretty serious injuries because of daily beating on the school bus that I was unaware of. I urge parents to make sure that communication lines stay open with their children to prevent this type of thing. We like to believe that school will protect our children when we can't be there but my son is proof that sometimes that just isn't so. Please try asking her about things at school. You might be suprised at how open she becomes with you. Good luck and let us know how it all goes. Shannon G.
PS. If someone is abusing her (physically) call the law and file a police report. The school will likely not be much help.

Your daughter may need to see a councelor , 50 pounds at 10 years old is not by any means fat .At 10 I was in the 4 th grade and was wearing a little girls size 8 about 62 pounds. I was not fat.Peer pressure these days is much worse than when we were Children they must look like war orphans to be excepted by their peers. Too many Mom's are this way as well.
I remember going through a bout of depression at that age, but I developed very early and was wearing a bra before I was in 3 rd grade.I really needed it too.I also started my monthly when I was only 11.Scared me to death as Mom never told me anything at all.
Tell her not to be in a hurry to grow up ,and ask her to talk to you about what is wrong or maybe a wise Aunt or Grand mother. The things that go through a little girls mind are sometimes very scarey to us.

This sounds like general pre-teen coping issues. She is encountering new life issues and she has so few experiences that she doesn't know how to manage the stresses in her life. Help her learn about ways to cope. She can talk about the frustration and you can both work together to help her find better coping mechanisms. It's not acceptable or appropriate to get upset, yell or be sarcastic when stressed, frustrated or confused. We have to find ways to alleviate the pressure.

She can write down what upsets her and think of ways to express herself. She can talk with you about it. She can burn off some steam by riding her bike, playing tag with a friend, coloring, playing with playdoh or clay, painting, etc. She can divert that defensive and bad energy into something positive. Also, she can find ways to express herself in a more diplomatic approach. She can talk about the problem. She can find ways to fix the problem or different approaches to accomplishing the task. If the first attempt didn't work, that's okay. It's not about winning when trying to accomplish something. It's about reaching the end point. None of us have the quickest and best method. Whatever method gets us to the end-game is the point. We all have different learning curves. Some of us read really fast. Some are really fast runners. It doesn't matter how you get to the finish line as long as you finish. Life isn't about winning and losing... it's about never giving up and until you reach your goal. You learn life lessons along the way that are more important than reaching the finish line. That's life. Life is in the dash!

Hi B.,
Did you ask your doctor to do a blood draw to check her hormone levels? Since your daughter is not overweight, you can get a fairly accurate picture through this. Also, you can ask for a wrist x-ray to determine your daughter's "bone age" and see where that falls. I am going through something similar, but my daughter is 7 years old, 4'5" and 100lbs. And she is showing signs of pre-puberty. The bone xray confirmed this. Best of luck. If you don't agree with your daughter's doctor...remember you always have the right to a second opinion. We Mamma's know best!

Nah, that don't really sound right. It sounds more like problems at school. Especially if she starts thinking she's fat! I have 3 girls, a 12year old and a 10 year old and 2year old. My 12 year old is a well mannered one, she's great. Yet, she's having the mood swings and temper tantrums (like a 2year old). My 10 year old, was like that when she was 8, now she is a lot more calmer, but I know its not over. But more calmer now. As for puberty, that usually starts between age 8 and 10. Pre menstral, 10-13, I'm guessing. All you can do is talk with her and let her know these fits or attitude is bothering you and upsetting you. If she can talk with you when things start bothering her. Ask her how things are in school. About her friends, the teachers, etc...! I notice when my 10 year old is having a bad day in school, is when she has issues with homework, clothes, food, friends, her sisters, her stepdad..etc.. and when we talk about the problem, she'll finally say that her and a friend got into an arguement about this or that, or the teacher said something mean to her. And so on...Because usually I will ask her how her day was at school..and she'll tell me fine, until her big sister comes home or her step dad, then the story changes. Girls are also filled with drama. And sometimes if they want attention they'll throw fits or do something to get your attention. But I'd talk with her. Good Luck!

We have raised three kids and ten is a tough year in childhood. (So is fifteen!) At school the pressure is on to prepare for middle school . They expect a lot from fifth and sixth graders these days. Then, it is so, so important to have friends, to fit in. Especially for girls. So you can see where peer pressure can cause many of the issues she's dealing with. If she's sensitive and unsure whether she's "good enough" or if some kids are mean, (and boy, can some kids be mean!), this could be at the root of the problem. I recommend, "How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk." It is a book I really liked. Often, once we see the question, the answers lie within us. Hope this helps.

I have two daughters, 11 and 13. Our pre-puberty mood swings started in fourth grade. My girls have always had a hard time coping with "mean girls". They don't understand how someone can treat others badly. My girls aren't perfect, but they do know the "golden rule" and I wish other mom's would help raise their daughters this way too. Girls need to support each other, not break each other down. With that said, my oldest daughter started her period a month after she turned 12 (around the same age as me) and my youngest daughter started her period a month after she turned 11. I was blindsided by that one. I've heard that it depends on the size of your daughter, when you started your own period, and when pubic hair begins. They were all a factor with my daughters. They are tall for their age (5'5" and 5'6"). My pediatrician said usually a year after pubic hair begins.

Glad someone posted this, freaking out about my daughter and when will she start and what I need to do and she is still a baby! lmfao. I didn't start till I was 14! Shocking to hear how young these girls are starting now. Getting a heads up, thanks.

B.-

absolutly a sign of puberty! My oldest is now 13 1/2 and she started her period right after she turned 10. My youngest is 10 1/2 now and sound very similar to yours. I believe she is also starting puberty as well. If I do not let her have some space, everything is a fight. What I have done is I let her have choices... she may not like the choices, but she gets to decide ( of course these choices I have to be ok with and I realizie it doesn't have to be done my way fro example- you can take a shower tonight or in the morning...it still gets done and I know what I would prefer, but will accept either). This has helped me alot the past couple of months. I hope this helps!

The year before my daughter started having menstrual periods was just as you described -afterwards, her mood improved. Be well.

my daughter was 11 or 11 1/2 when she started. She does have special needs that could have promted it. But if you are really concerned there is an XRay they can take of her right wrist and give you a where about of when she will start. Ours was pretty correct. I dont know if a family doc can do this or you need a specialist. But I do know they are saying girls are starting earlier these days. Good luck! If that is it it just gets worse. :)) Things will work out!

I just wanted to comment on her self image. First and foremost make sure you are not talking bad about yourself in front of her. Girls and women get so much pressure from society to look a certain way. She is probably hearing stuff at school or comparing herself to what she sees on t.v. or in magazines. It is so easy as mama's (that often have our own body image issues) to pass on our issues to our daughters without even thinking of it. Make sure you let her know that she is beautiful just the way she is. I don't think you should let her "diet" but I would say that it is a good thing to encourage good eating habits and even daily excercise so she can establish a healthy lifestyle now that will hopefully continue into puberty and adulthood.

It could be hormones and it could be a chemical imbalance from something else.
I would suggest a little further testing, lab work to see what comes back, always with the fact the physician understands the problems and knows what tests to order.
Physical signs of developing are not always visable for the hormones to kick in. I have a daughter who had to start shaving her arm pits at 9 and whose leg hair darkened up at same time. She had mood swings at home that frightened fish, and her father was about to do himself in and lock her in the garage until she hit 18 and became his daughter again.
Some of the problem, we found out later, was a thyroid problem as well as early hormone changes.
P. R

B.,
It will only get worse if you think it will. Honestly! Please don't take it at all personally. Try very hard to look at her moods from a different perspective,healthy and needed to grow and mature. If you take your emotion out of it I think you'll be able to see it differently and not worry.
Blessings,
S.

The weight issue at sucha young age worries me. Have you talked to her about her body image, anorexia etc? My little sister (now 24) have suffered with bolimia/anorexia since she was 11. It all started with lack of understanding and the way she tought people viewed her. I don't want to add to your concern, but I don't want you to let it go unnoticed if that's what it is. Good luck to you.