Siblings in the Same Bed

They are close enough in age that sharing a bed should be no problem. Push the one bed up to the wall and sleep the youngest between his brother and the wall so he doesn't fall out. Them wanting to be togther is great!!! Relish and rejoice in these days, believe me, you'll look back with great fondness at these times. They are comforting one another and developing a bond that will stand the test of all times. It's a good thing. It will pass soon enough. They'll want their own beds, then their own rooms and finally their own space and time away from one another; only to come back together in times of joy and need. Best buds, always.

I think a few people were confused by your question. Or maybe I am but what I am getting is your wondering how to get both to sleep without them in tears and the youngest one getting out of bed 40 times a night...

Here's my thought on that. My girls have shared a room since they were 1 and 3 and they are now 7 and 9. They have
also done the two twin beds pushed together. There was a time my younger one did the same thing and after months of doing what you've been doing (putting her back to bed over and over) I finally realized she didn't need a nap anymore. It was a bummer but really she just wasn't tired until 10 or later when she took a nap. I don't know if your boys take naps still but you may want to consider an earlier nap or shorter one to see if that helps.

Another thing that helps my son (he is such a night owl we get excited when he's asleep before 9) is a nightly routine. We do the same thing every night. Get in bed read books, pray, and then just talk a few minutes before we say good night. It helps him calm down and get tired. He's quite rambunctious, especially at night so he needs that down time.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

My boys; 3 and 6; share a full size bed. We have a bunk bed in the kids room, and since we have a two bedroom house the kids share a room. My daughter has the top bunk; curtain around it for privacy, but the boys share. They like it and it doesn't bother me or my husband. We have been talking about buying land and then buliding a bigger house; the boys say they still want to share a room. As long as they are both getting sleep I don't see why its a concern.

letting them cry it out may sound cruel, but in all reality, it does not hurt them. They won't even remember the next day, its not something that sticks with them. My kids are 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 and they sleep together every night. They have their own beds, but they like to lay by each other and they seem to sleep for longer periods of time when they do, I figure at this age, there's really no harm, when your that young, your sibling is your best buddy and I'll do whatever I can to foster that bond. I myself have tried several techniques to getting my kids to stay in bed, but crying it out is the most effective thing I've tried so far. I also give them the option to play in their room (with no light) as long as they STAY in their room until they feel like laying down to sleep (it usually never lasts more than 30 minutes or so. They don't like playing in the dark too much, but I don't really give them any other option. I wouldn't worry too much about your older one saying your mean and stuff, my son tries that too, they just do that because they know it gets to you. He is frustrated because he wants his way and you are telling him he can't have it, so he is trying to get under your skin to get you to give in. Don't let him get to you, thats normal kid stuff, if you don't give him any attention for it (and I mean ANY, negative or not) then he will eventually get the point and stop. Crying it out can take several days before it sinks in and they get the point, but it does work.

Uh...sorry, but what is the problem here?
I don't mean to be sarcastic, but that sounds wonderful to me. Your boys love eachother and want to be together, what could be wrong with that?
Unless one of them is causing the other to lose sleep or there is some problem with them sleeping together - I'd let them sleep together.

Amber,

My boys are now 12 and 14. They have shared a room for years and always ended up in the same bed. When my oldest was 12 he wanted his own room, in the basement. We moved him down 2 years ago. They each still have their own room, one upstairs one down, but they sleep together (one in the bed one on a mattress on the floor.) They fight as brothers will, but they are really close buddies most of the time. If your children sleep better when they are together, and it doesn't seem to bother either of them, then I would let it be. If they are distracting eachother from sleep or causing other issues, address it then.
Happy New year

Is the problem that they're fighting over who gets more of you at bedtime? My kids do that (not just at bedtime). I have the same bedtime routine that MH mentioned, and I lay between them until they fall asleep, then I just get up and go to my own bed. Works fine for all of us...

the first thing i would look at is whether they are taking naps. My 4 year old still will take a nap occassionally and not want to sleep. My 5 year old (autistic) has always had issues with falling asleep and rarely takes a nap. They still sleep with us sometimes or one will and the other won't. I have always enjoyed having my children near me. I also breastfed and had but did not use crib. They have always had erratic sleep patterns and was very exhausting for me. A couple months ago a friend talked to me about melatonin. This is something the body naturally produces sometimes not enough so the child can't settle and regulate into good sleep patterns. I spoke to other parents at daughters Autism school and received a lot of excellent information, whereas our doctor and pharmacist could not give accurate or even knew much about melatonin. I started both girls with a low dose and increased until they were falling asleep within 30 minutes of melatonin dose. Started with 1/2 mg and worked up to 1 1/2 mg which is perfect right now. 8pm dose, brush teeth, tuck in bed read story, they are out. I have noticed since my 5 year old with autism has been taking melatonin her communication has increased. Obviously she was not getting the rest she needed. It is amazing to have a conversation with her and it be a conversation that we understand.
Melatonin is naturally made in your body and if your body isn't making enough or it doesn't know how to process it can cause sleep issues or lack of. I used disolvable and crush in a medicine cup of water. Its the only way she will take it with out issue. Disolvable does not have any bad taste its like giving her a teaspoon of water. My 4 year old has been sleeping better too which means I get more sleep. Hooray! You can always cut back at anytime to see if they have self regulated and can fall asleep naturally. My friend just did this and her daughters are doing great. Good luck and best rest to all. My daughters co-sleep and sometimes come to our bed.

Note that there are wonderful resources on the "family bed." My niece and her husband recently did the family bed thing for a few months to get through some stages with their 1 and 2-year-old girls--the older one with night terrors and the younger one with sleeping too lightly/too short a time. They did this at night only, not at nap time. It worked well to break the patterns they were in. Eventually parents decided it was time to go back to their own rooms, so they transitioned them back (let them fall asleep in the family bed, then moved them to their own rooms, then going to bed at different times, then going to bed in own rooms, etc). If what you're doing shows no hint of improvement, you might consider this kind of drastic change for a short time. Best wishes!

I suggest that the first step for you is to try to figure out why this is happening; perhaps by trying different ways of putting them to bed. Have you asked them what is going on. They are young but may be able to give you some clues. Do you know what happens before the youngest gets out of bed?

My daughter tried to get her two to sleep in the same bed; a king size bed. They would either play with each other keeping both awake until one wore out and fell asleep. Or they would settle down and be almost asleep and the other one would move and kick or knock into the other one; waking them both up. This sometimes happened after both were asleep. The older one would go to her mother and complain loudly or the younger one would loudly cry.

She put them in bunk beds and it seems to be working. They still play off each other. For the first few nights she had to go in and tell them to "knock it off" because they were continuing to giggle at each other or fight even tho they were in separate beds.

They listen to music or a story on CD which helps to keep them calm. The tricky part is remembering whose turn it is to choose. If I were her, I'd make the choice and elimanate the "battle."

Have you tried putting the beds across the room from each other? Did you do a transition "ceremony" for the little one when you switched him to the big bed? Does he, perhaps think of the bed as his big brother's bed? Could you put the youngest one to bed first and then the oldest once the youngest is asleep. This could be a perk for the oldest. ie: "you can go to bed a bit later if you let your little brother sleep."

I also agree that shortening or eliminating the nap may help.

My husband slept in the same bed with one of this brothers until past age 10 (both of his brothers are younger). Even though he had his own room, he would wake up every night and get in bed with someone else. He has always needed a lot of touch, and still does. I really don't see a problem with them sleeping together, it's much more comfortable to sleep next to someone else. Children used to all sleep in the same bed until just a few generations ago. :)

I didn't read the other responses but.
Mine are about to be 4 and 5. we co-slept until just this past summer. in an attempt to move them to their own room we built a Loft bed in queen size (since we already that the matress). and they sleep up there togehter. They are boy and girl and eventually I know I'll have to break the habit but it works great for them and my husband and I. We get the break for only another five months before baby #3 arrives. and they feel safe and secure having eachother.

I find nothing wrong with it and since yours are boys even better. If it is what they like then why mess with it. I don't see any harmful effect by letting them co-sleep with eachother it most likely makes their bond stronger. they can depend on eachother and they feel safe together. I think it is wonderful. keep up the great work!

Don't let our countries opinions about co-sleeping bother you. every other country does it and they have very close knit families.

My husband is filipino and he finds it strange that we put our infants in cribs alone.

I love the bond we've created with our children and to be honest they are very outgoing adventurus kids who love meeting new people and going places. They feel secure that their parents will always be there as well as their sibling.

Enjoy their bond now..

When we moved my 20 month old into a bed we sat outside the door and told him to lay down when we saw him getting up. We didn't even give him a chance to leave the room. Eventually he would lay down and go to sleep on his own.