Should They Share a Room or Not??

My newborns slept in a bassinett in my room until they outgrew it, then they slept in the same room for years. It worked just fine. They seemed to like the shared quarters because they didn't feel "all alone in the dark."

Hi C.-we have 2 little girls that are about 19 months apart. When we had #2 she was with us until she could sleep through the night. We weren't sure whether we would put her in her own room or with big sister and we had talked about it off and on with her. Finally one day big sister suggested it and we did it! And never looked back. We are so glad we did it! There were a few bad nights but they worked through it and are used to each other now. It is great when we travel too because they are more at ease with the other one with them. The big sister never had any jealousy issues at all when baby was in our room. We made a point of not making a big fuss over little sister too and that seemed to pay off. We never made it like we couldn't help big sister because of little sister-ya know what I mean? I think sometimes that is when the jealousy kicks in. Good luck!

Hi C.,
If it were me, your older daughter should remain in her room while the baby is in the cradle upstairs with you (this is important for you and baby to bond) This is the practical thing because this is what will be consistent for everyone once the baby graduates to her own room. Whatever you do DON'T start accomodating your kids by rearranging you and hubby's sleeping quarters. There are a number of ways you can make your older daughter feel included while she stays put. Try reading with her in her room, decorating it so she likes the colors, telling her how special it is to have her own room, etc. DO NOT make a big issue of her being by herself. If you (or other family members) start making an issue of it she will begin to feel left out and then you will have problems. Remember she's there to sleep and that's what she will be doing if nobody freaks her out about being by herself. On the issue of two of everything I would put the necessary items where they are convenient for you. You are the one that will be doing the running up and down. You may consider buying a dresser for your older girl as this may help her in the whole transition. Don't forget if you do need to buy additional furnishings try the Goodwill, yard sales etc. They are great places to find bargain priced furniture. God Bless You, L.

Hi C.,
We always keep our newborn in the same room with us (in a pack and play) until they are sleeping through the night.

I'm in the same boat as you are somewhat. I've got 3 right now. My 5 and 6 yo's share a room and love that. Then I have a 22 month old right now- he'll be 2 when our new baby is born this June. I'm not crazy about putting the newborn in there with him either, but probably more for him waking up the baby more than anything. :)

I'll look forward to hearing more responses! I think the transition will actually go pretty smoothly.

I'd keep the baby with you for at least the first few weeks of recovery as stairs aren't usually the best. The sooner the kids start sharing, the easier it will be. We have one who was never bothered by the baby -- I mean turning lights on and everything! We have another one who wakes anytime you go into the room, and we have another one who you have to say goodnight to, although he swears he sleeps all night. :) I think it just depends on the kids. We haven't had a problem, though, with someone not wanting to go back to sleep just because they were woken up. Kids are generally harder sleepers than parents as they have no responsibilities. I think the kids would really enjoy sharing for a while. Our kids love to play in their room together. It's great. They each have their own bed and their own toy bin, but they even share those -- on their terms, of course. I love being able to ask them to play in their room and they enjoy each others company so much. We'll be moving to a bigger place soon, and we're still planning on having the boys share, even if we have the extra space. We will move the baby out at that time as it's easier to move once, and we definitely don't want to have boys and girls sharing once privacy is an issue. If you and your husband move for the first few weeks, maybe you could sleep in the other room downstairs. That way you're close, but they get used to sharing like it will really be. Congratulations!

All I can say is you are NOT going to want to go up and down stairs for middle of the night feedings. In fact, I like to have them on the same floor as mom/dad for at least 3 years. Clearly, that's not a good option for your situation, although I would suggest the mattress on the floor thing if you can't arrange to be on the same floor. I'd also suggest (as someone else did), a bassinet in your room for the first 3-4 months (until the baby outgrows it basically). We actually had our 2nd baby in the adjacent room for the first few months, since I found that I had trouble sleeping in the same room (I'm a super light sleeper, and would lie awake listening to every grunt and moan and whimper the baby made). I should mention the adjacent room was only a den/sitting/TV area - not a bedroom. It worked fine. We set up an old dresser for a changing table. Eventually, we put him in his own room (fortunately we have 2 bedrooms in the basement where we also sleep) and moved his brother upstairs (who was about 5 at the time).

Sorry I can't help with the sharing a room thing. We contemplated it, but never actually did it. I will say my kids now (at 3 and 7) like having their own rooms. I don't think it would have been a problem for the first few years though.

I think they will be fine sharing. My twins would sometimes wake each other, but they eventually get used to it. Now they very rarely wake each other.

Hi C.,
Congrats on having another baby! I have 5 children and have done the same for each of them. As a newborn the baby was in the crib in my room until they slept through the night. My first didn't sleep through the night until she was 1, my second was 2mos old, so it varies. Once they were sleeping through the night they went into the bedroom. Obviously our firstborn got her own room, our second shared the room with the first, our third which happend to be a boy got his own room, our fourth went in with the third and now our fifth is still in our room. None of the kids have ever had a problem with this or felt lonely or left out. We've also never had a problem where one child kept another from being able to sleep. They pretty much ignore each other all night. You'd be suprised what kids will sleep through. If you would rather be on the same floor as your kids, move your room. It may not be as big as the master bedroom but its still a bedroom. I would not reccomend you and your husband sharing the room with your daughter I think it will make your daughter not want to sleep unless you are in there with her. If your daughter doesn't like being in her own room and the baby being with you, show her that the baby really needs you right now just like baby kittens and puppies need to be with the mommy all the time, and when the baby is bigger she will either have her own room or share a room with your daughter. I think you can work this out. Good luck!

C.

My kids share a room because we have two bedrooms up and two down and I totally know what you mean about being seperated by a floor in your house!
However as they get older they will need their own space.
I had my son sleep in my room across the hall from my daughters for the first five months until he did sleep better at night.
There is a very good possibility the new baby will disturb your oldest those first few months.

Maybe just have your husband sleep on a blow up mattress with your daughter and the baby sleep with you just for a few months (kind of kills the ability to have intimate close time with hubby) but that way he can get good sleep, your oldest won't be alone and you will have the baby close to you. I know it was waking my husband was my biggest worry and he slept downstairs because he had to go to work early.

I moved my kids together when my son was 5 mos old. By that time he was sleeping 6 hour stretches, my daughter had become immune to his crying and slept right through him waking. I would take him into my room to feed and change him so not to bother her.

They are 4 and 7 and now need their own space, but for the most part sharing a room has worked out great. I stagger their bedtimes too so they don't chit chat or giggle. My youngest 45 minutes earlier then the oldest. Kind of empowers the older one too to get to stay up later.
Congrats!!!!!

Hi C.-
I'm "lucky" enough to live in a small home, and my 3 young girls share a room. It is an adjustment for sure, but it works out pretty well, especially with just 2!
When my 2nd daughter was born, she slept in my room for about 6 months...I was terrified of putting her in with a 2 year old. They did, however, learn how to sleep through each other's noises, and now we can lay our 1-year old down at the same time as the other 2, and eventually they all fall asleep!
The hardest part for me is if one is napping and another one needs room time, a change of clothes,etc...but I do really feel that the girls benefit from the sharing and closeness, and they actually love having partners at bedtime!
Hope this helps - and best of luck!

Hi!

I have three girls who are 21-22 months spaced. My oldest got her "big girl" room when the second was born. We had three bedrooms and it was no problem. When number 3 came along, we were out of bedrooms so they shared the nursery. In the beginning we had the bassinet in our room -- for about a month. I never had any trouble with either of them sleeping or jealously.

Congrats & Best Wishes!
L.

my son was 26 months when our daughter was born. She is now 6 months and I WISH that we had another room to put her in. It would be so much easier for when she wakes up at night and such things. And as for buying another changing table--we just use a mat and change both of them where ever. Usually it happens in the living room. I just have a basket that I keep diaper stuff in and can take it with me to the bathroom for bathtime or put it away when guests come over, etc. This way I can change the baby while I can also watch while the toddler is still playing with his toys. So I would definitely not recommend buying another changing table!

My baby's have always had to share a room with an older or younger sibling. They actually have been fine together. I have more issues now that they are older with them claiming the younger child messed up the room.

Anyway I would probably keep the baby with you for the first little while until the baby can sleep for a bit longer periods at a time. You will sleep better in your own bed than on a mattress. I always enjoyed having my baby's close by for the first couple of months. You may have to stagger bedtimes with your 2 children once they are together, but I rarely had problems with the older child waking up when the baby cried.

I would also suggest investing in a baby monitor with video. I wished I would have had a way to visually check on my child when they made a noise in the night, but when I bought my monitor 10 years ago that was a new feature that I wasn't really aware of. The video may save you a lot of unnessary trips down the stairs when baby makes a noise while sleeping. Also great for sleep training.

Anyway good luck with whatever you choose.

Get a bassinett or cradle to have your baby in for the first few months, in your room. When you're ready to move her out of your room, there's no problem in having her share with her sister. My boys have shared a room since the youngest was about 6 months. His brother is 2 1/2 years older and we rarely had problems.

As far as changing table, rocker, etc. You don't need to get multiples. You can really change a baby anywhere; we never had a changing table. Move the rocker into a common area if you don't want to get a second one. Or into your room, if its easier for nursing etc. You can rock you girls there and then move them to their room.

Just don't shut your older daughter out of your room completely. Let her come snuggle with you on weekends (or more, if you can stay in bed a few extra minutes). Let her come in at bedtime for stories and prayer. Let her come in when you're taking care of baby; and let her help. She shouldn't feel lonely or abandoned at night if you give her the attention she needs during the day.