Should I Move

Ok. I have an 18 month old and we also live with my parents and in the same situation. My son has called my mom "mama" a couple times before and it has really upset me. I just tell him no that's mammy not mama. Well, i finally got tired of them raising him and second guessing what I tell him so I sat down with my mom and told her straight up that I didn't feel like he was even my son. She understood and now she even asks me if it's ok if she takes him somewhere or feeds him something different, and all sorts of things now that normally they would do without even caring about my opinion on it. Just tell your parents how you feel without getting upset and starting a fight. They had their time already to raise kids and now it's your turn.

SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE, STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNTIL YOU ARE COMPLETELY FINANCIALLY CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR DAUGHTER. IT HAS TO BE A VERY THOUGHT OUT DECISION. I AGREE WITH SOME OF THE OTHER GALS: SIT DOWN AND TALK WITH YOUR PARENTS AND JUST TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE HER MOM AND YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO COUNT ON THEM SUPPORTING YOU NOT UNDERMINING YOUR PARENTAL POSITION. ITS HARD LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS, BUT KEEP IN MIND, THEY ARE ALOT MORE EXPERIENCED THAN YOU. ALTHOUGH MY MOM DROVE ME NUTS, I LEARNED SO MUCH FROM HER.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

D. Mattern-Muck
The MOM Team
Raising your income and your rugrats at the same time!
www.formyrugrats.com

well D. i dont now that i would move because it sounds like you have great parents that are helping you out with your child grandparents will do stuff like that.i would just sit them down and tell them look i would like for her to come to me and ask me if things are ok because i am her mother and less im not at home then yall have the rights to tell her yes or no i would just be nice about it and tellem you want her to be able to come to you for advice well good luck girl things are geting very high this day and time so if you can live at home so be it i would this world is hard and mean so just be safe

Hunny,
Sometimes it is hard to live with a parents but you and your daughter is safe living there, saving money so you can be able to get your own place when you are ready.
Grandparents tend to spoil grandchildren but if you feel they are taking over parenting, Confront them and talk to them about it, have them to know that you rather for you to make them decisions "yes and no" when you are around, if you left your daughter to be with them for a short while (babysitting) then it's ok with you.
I would give my arm for us to live closer to my parents. They live few states away, My son here grew up without grandparents nearby so it is hard. Your daughter is a lucky one.
Talk to them, They may surprise you, sweetie..
Hope this helps!
If want to talk, rant, whatever, feel free to email me.

Don't confront your parents and don't move! Your parents would miss their grandbaby terribly and she would miss them. My parents live with us and they've been out of town for nine days and at first the kids didn't ask about them too much, but in the last 4 or 5 days they keep asking for them. My sterness and their spoiling balances out and it makes my kids happy to have their grandparents. I have found that if I include my mom in setting the boundaries or rules for the kids, then she feels like they're her rules. For example, snacking, she would let the kids snack all day, so I told her, " hey mom, don't you think it would be a good idea if we set a limit for snacking?...like no snacking until at least an hour and half after a meal and only one snack, if you eat a sandwich then you can't have a pizza pocket." She agreed and then I told the kids, "your grandma and I want the snacks to last a little longer so we don't run out so fast, so she's only going to let you have one snack between meals." What ever you do, don't confront your parents, everything they do, they do out of love. Use a little child psychology on them. Ask for their help in coming up with rules and boundaries and make them think it's their rules.

Oh man I had the EXACT same problem as you. A little background... I had my daughter at 17, and after living with her father for a while I left him and moved in with my parents. Our parenting styles are VERY different- it's always "fun" with them, they rarely told her no, and I was critizied (in front of my daughter) when I disciplined her. And there's that issue about "if you live under my roof..." Needless to say, the situtation was extremely stressful and not good for anyone. So, as difficult as I knew it would be to be completely on my own with my daughter (especially at such a young age) I knew I had to do something. I found a little cheap apartment in the same town and moved into it. I worked full time and went to college and took care of my daughter, with no financial help from her father. My parents still helped me out by watching her when I needed them to, and they got to spoil her then, without me around, and I got to raise her like I thought was right without their interference. It probably saved our relationship because we weren't always at it about child rearing. Another thing you could do is try to talk to them and see if they are responsive. You have to be gentle but very firm and tell them exactly what you want and expect. However, I tried this first with my parents and they got very angry that I brought anything that they were doing up and told me I needed to leave! I guess they thought since they were letting us live there they could do whatever they wanted. I don't know your whole situtation but I hope this helps! Good luck!