Should I Let the Dog Visit the New House?

I go through this with my inlaws...they refuse to go anywhere without their black lab (she is also a hunting dog). They live 4 hours from us in Springfield and I had to become the big "B" and tell them the dog is not welcome at our home. They have another dog which they kennel when they come up because he is so mean and I asked that they do the same with Molly or leave her with family members down there.

While I love dogs and have a 90 pound German Shepherd of my own....their dog is out of control around new people, is aggressive, and barks non stop....oh, and they do nothing to try and get her to stop.

I hate to say this but, because I allowed it for the first year or so it was much harder to get them to think how we feel. I told them I love them and want them to come visit but I could not take the dog and they would need to place her in a kennel or have someone watch her while they are here....NOW, while they don't come visit vey much anymore (nice huh) they do bring Molly but they stay at a hotel that allows dogs and they leave her there.

So anyway...my thoughts are

1)be honest w/ your sister about the dog (it might bite, shed,tear up new home/yard) and ask her not to bring him.

2)Place the dog in a kennel for the weekend or a doggie daycare during the day at least.

3)Let her bring him but be ready for the dog to come visit from here on out......

Sorry this is so long...major sore spot in my family as well....

I would have said no very easily to this one I think (because I'm not in the situation). Not only do you have to worry about the dog biting your kids (even though she thinks it is easy to keep them seperated it is NOT) and then while your working and the kids could be in the back yard so they you can get things done the dog will be out there leaving the kids in the house to aggravate you. Tell her nicely that right now is not a good ideal because you already have so much going on and having the hassle of balancing where the dog is versus where the kids are while unpacking in itself is too much for you to consider handling much less all the other things you have to do in a new home! Good luck in your new home and keeping your sanity in the move with two beautiful children.

Hi karen!
I am also a person with a dog, but i would never try bringing him with me to someone's house if they are moving or have small kids. And my dog loves kids! He was born a couple weeks after my daughter and has been with us since 5 weeks old. Anyway, i think that if you feel more comfortable with the dog not being there, your sister should respect that. You have enough on your plate with moving! The last thing you need to worry about is a dog with your kids! Maybe if the dog was good with kids, but you said it didn't like kids! I wouldn't feel bad at all! You are protecting your kids! What if the dog bit one of the kids? As the kids aunt, i'm surprised your sister would even think to bring the dog and risk having something happen to the kids. It's not worth it! If i knew that my dog didn't like kids, i wouldn't think twice to leave him home. And when my friends come over with their small kids, i leave him outside or in his cage. I know he would not hurt anyone, but i respect the fact that my friends don't have animals, and may not trust my dog as much as i do. He is 110 lbs! Good luck!!

I could not pass up answering you with my opinion as this is a pet peeve of mine. I to grew up with dogs and I love them but I feel it is wrong to even ask to bring your dog to someones house when you visit. I have had so many bad experiences with this. We have a couple of cousins that like bringing their big dogs with them whenever they visit. They ran all over the yard including our flowers and ruined them. They jump on everyone and are just a nuisense. Last month I had a friend bring her (good) dog to our house and it tore down about a 6 foot area of bark from a tree my son planted when he was 4 (now he's 18 , we hope the tree makes it) so we brought the dog in.
He was palying with my dog (who did not care to paly)and then she bite her. The night ended with my friend holding her dog on a leash next to her all night and then the dog slept ON MY COUCH ( my dog is not even allowed on the couch) Sorrry I am writing so much but I just think it is WRONG for anyone to ask if they can bring their dog on a visit I would NEVER ask to bring my dog to anyone's house. It's a new surrouding for them and they are curious so they are out of character. It just is not right in my opinion. However, I do know how hard it is to tell someone that asks NO. I did not do it and I'm sorry I didn't, as you said it was a stressful night.
GOOD LUCK

Karen,

Let me start by saying I am a dog lover. I have two German Shepherds and we grew up with dogs. My mom has two Great Danes (well one was put down a week ago). ANYWAY, we have this issue with my in-laws. Our son will be two this Friday and he has been to their house 3 times since he was born. Why? Because they have two misbehaved dogs. One that has bitten at least 3 people. AND, they refuse to put the dogs away if we come over. It was a battle when Jacob was born so we just won't go over there. My MIL's answer to this is "he needs to get used to dogs". Whatever.

I've never asked to bring my two dogs to anyone's house - unless it was for a doggie playdate in my pre-child years. We have kenneled our dogs since I can remember and they've been fine with it. My one girl just turned 11 this month.

Be honest with your sister and if you need to, use all the examples you stated re: new house, yard for the kids, too much going on. If she insists, then the visit just may have to be postponed to a later date...when she can have someone dog sit the dog in her own home.

Good luck and stay firm on this one...

T.

Definitely OK to ask her not to bring the dog. You can say you are really stressed about the move in general, and adding the dog to the mix is an added stressor you can't handle right now. Maybe on a future visit it would be OK for the dog to come, just now right now. (Of course, only include that last part if you're really willing to consider it!)

NO.
Kids come first. My future childless sister-in-law-to-be had a hard time understanding why I wanted her to lock up her 100 pound bull mastiff when my kids were at my mom's (long story). The dog is nice to kids and everything, but just too big and I don't trust her around my kids. Don't get me wrong, I'm a dog person,I have a dog I dearly love, but when it comes down to it, I would feed my dog to my kids if I had to. My dog is wonderful with my girls (5 mo.3,and 5) but I still watch her when she's around them and play gets too rough.
My cousin is a facial plastic surgeon. He sees a ton of kids who's faces were bitten. Scars that change thier and thier families lives. If you were going to her house, it's one thing, it's her house. This is your house and why should you risk your kids safety. Your sister should understand, or even if she dosen't she should comply. If that dog bit one of your kids, you would never forgive yourself. all it takes is one instance your back is truned, and like you already said, you can't watch them all the time, and you don't trust the dog already who tried to bite before. A dog that bites once will do it again. Please stand your ground and follow you gut.

I would simply say that now is not a good time, period. She should understand that...it's just added commotion to an already hectic time.
I have always had big dogs (greyhounds), and they were always welcome to stay with us at my parents or sisters houses. I felt very lucky that my dogs were VERY well behaved, and that my family loved having them. My mother even went so far as to make them their own X-mas stockings :) I hated the idea of kenneling them, and they loved going on road trips, so it always worked out well.
That said, I would certainly not have been upset if my family were to have told me that it was not a good time to bring them because of a situation like the one you are in.
I think you can nicely explain to her why now is not a good time for the exact reasons you stated here. I don't think you even have to get into what a scary shedding monster her pup is ;)
Good luck with the move

You should definately tell your sis not to bring the dog. Your kids' safety is number one! Number two is the fact that you don't ask someone if you can bring a dog to their new house when they, number one, are just moving in and unpacking. How thoughtless of her to bother you with that. People just don't think sometimes. My husband has a scar on his lip from when he was five and the family dog bit a hunk of his lip off. His parents rushed around, looking for the piece of lip and then rushed him to te hospital where they had to sew him up (of course they didn't reattach the part of the bit off lip). Anyways,his dad 43 years later still has tons of guilt because the dog growled at him once before. This past Christmas when we were at my sister in laws for Christmas, their dog who lunged and growled at my three year old the 4rth of July before (i actually had my son on my lap and my daughter was sitting near by and i had to grab the dog by it's tail as it was going after her) was held on my sister-in-laws careless husband because He wanted the dog to be part of the present unwrapping part of the day. (sounds idiotic, i know). He had to hold the dog down on his lap since both my 3 year old and 1 1/2 year old were there. My father in law got up and screamed at him and told him to get the dog out of there. That house gets quite loud at the hollidays...anyways, the point is some dogs and small children just dont mix, don't risk it, it's absolutely not putting your child's safety in jeapordy.

Hi Karen,
I cannot strss enough how honest you must be with you sister. You will never forgive yourself if something happens and you had the chance to make a different decision. Your kids safety comes first. Not to mention your own sanity. Your sister may be upset but she will get over it.
It's often hard to say what we want if it means the possibility of hurting someones feelings. However you your sister dealing with hurt feelings will be alot easier then you dealing with stress or even an emergency room visit.
Good luck.
P.

It would be completely reasonable to tell her not to bring the dog. You would never be able to forgive yourself or your sister if the dog really injured one of your kids. I am a HUGE dog lover but am completely intolerent of dogs that bite. The dog has already demonstrated that it bites. My parent's neighbor's dog mauled their grandchild almost to death. This was a dog that had been around the kids before and done fine. The dog had to be euthanized. Dogs and children require 100% supervision. It is absolutely unfair to you to have to worry about your kids in your own home/back yard.

I have had many different kinds of dogs, and am very familiar with handling them. The way your sister's dog is currently is not safe for the children.

With the stress of moving coupled with your grounded fear that they might be harmed will make the dog more likely to hurt the children. Once you are settled into the house and your sister has gotten the dog more training, you can try to slowly get the dog and your kids acquainted. Right now, your answer should be a firm no. Don't feel bad either. Responsible dog owners wouldn't let aggressive behavior especially toward children be tolerated.

I go through this same problem w/ my parents two dogs. They are both friendly but shed, try to lay on our furniture & scratch our doors - ugh...! Since you are going to have such a hectic week & you have two little ones I don't think it should be a problem to ask her to leave her dog at home. You are probably saving them $$ anyway & most hotels will not allow dogs downtown anyway :( Isnt' it so hard to ask a relative not to do something??

Maybe you could ask her that since you have so much going on with the move...the boxes to unpack, the kids and needing them being able to play in the back yard, that maybe she could find someone to watch the dog when she comes for the visit this weekend, but after the next visit once the house is in order and things aren't so hectic, you wouldn't mind her bringing the dog. I think it probably wouldn't be an issue if it was a dog that was good around kids and since this one has already tried to bite one of the children, she should\would understand why it would be easier this time around for all parties if the dog didn't come.

Good luck with your move! I hope it all works out.

People can only take advantage of you if you let them
(Ann Landers :)
I don't think the question is whether or not the dog should visit. The answer is definitely no for all the reasons you mentioned. I think the problem is that you are worried you will hurt her feelings and/or don't know how to tell her straight out. You must do this, for your sake AND the children's. I say tell her the truth and stick to your guns.
If she does not want to understand then that is her problem not yours. Don't be held hostage.
C.

I don't think it is unreasonable to say no at all. You have too much going on right now with the move and especailly having your children adjusting. Adding a person, let alone a dog, into the mix is stress enough. She should be understanding enough. Even if you set ground rules, they're sure to be broken and why take the risk with your sanity and your children's safety.

Best of luck,
K. :~)

You are not being unreasonable at all. I am actually surprised she would ask since the dog tried to bite your daughter. Your children's safety is more important then your sisters convenience of bringing her dog. You also can't guarantee the dog will be okay outside too. Some dogs, when not by people, will bark when separated from their owners. It may also be too hot outside. You just never know. I would say no for sure. She should completely understand and not question your reasoning.

I think you should just be honest with your sister and say that you think the dog will be too much added stress for you. You will still be unpacking boces, explaine the situation with your childrens safety and that you are just not up for it. Your children's safety comes first, you don't want to regret your decision if something were to happen. Besides, with everything going on, you won't have time to keep your eye on the dog around the kids every second. Plus, moving is stressful enough. Not only on you, but children as well. You don't want to start them off in a new house being scared because of the dog. If your sister doesn't understand that, then so be it. Stick to your guns. This is your family that you have to look out for. Good luck.