I've been a little emotional today since playgroup.
Once a week, I bring my son to a playgroup that's set up where the kids go in one room with caretakers, while the mom's go in another to talk, ect. It's supposed to be so that the kids get some social playtime away from mom's and it's an hour. The past few weeks when I've gone to pick up my son (nearly 3 yrs.) he's always just sitting by himself or playing alone. I'm told that he's such a good boy but the older kids don't really want to play with him, they're 5 &6 and the rest are babies. He always seems fine, doesn't complain about going, but what I'm hearing is that basically the other kids won't play with him and that he's left to play alone. This makes me sad.
He always plays very well with kids when I'm around, like at the park. I bring him to this group because we're new to the area, don't know a lot of kids and I worry about socializing him. I keep getting asked by my MIL if he's made any friends yet all the time...it's like I feel pressured to get him some friends and awful because he doesn't have many...like I'm doing something wrong. I'm trying, we do toddler activities but just haven't met many boys his age yet. We're not in a city area where there's tons to do. She always brings up all the friends he had at his previous daycare where we used to live. Now that we've moved I'm a SAHM and it's hard to meet people even though we're friendly.
He will start preschool next fall, which will help. Until then, I'll continue to try to meet people for him. Sorry, this post began with a question about attending a playgroup to a slight vent about my MIL. Basically, am I over worrying about all of this or not?
I would suggest finding a play group with kids more his age, you wouldn't think it but there is a huge age gap between 5 and 3. look into local rec centers there is always a group or sport to join that he would probably enjoy more
You are over-worrying.
That play-group has older kids.
Not compatible for a 3 year old.
Much different, developmental stages.
Find a group that is for toddlers/younger kids.
My suggestion would be to find a play group with kids his age. I don't think he is necessarily not making friends it's just that there is a huge gap between a 3 year old and a 5 year old.
Best of Luck in your new area!!
Seriously, I might attend occasionally, but I'd try to find a group with kids of similar age.
It has nothing to do with your son and everything to do with the ages of the kids. 5yr old play is *totally* different from 3yr old play, which is again, totally different from 1yr old play. In fact, when my kids were 3, even when I set up playdates, often they'd find their own toy and happily sit next to each other, not interacting, but playing with their own toy...happily. By the time they were closer to 4, and certainly by 5, the idea of playing "with" a friend was much more concrete. If your son seems fine with the current set up and isn't being bullied by the older kids or anything, this might actually be a good experience for him - *seeing* how the older kids play with each other. Stop being sad, this all seems completely normal. Once your son starts preschool and you get to know some of the other parents, and your social calendar fills up with playdates, birthday parties, t-ball practice and games, you'll miss the quiet days. You'll see...
why are the caretakers not making sure everyone is playing together? I personally think that they should be making sure that your son is being included in "the group". Have you asked them? Maybe you can just mention it to them in passing next time you go, and see how that works out.
Three year olds do not really have friends unless you happen to have friends
with kids the same age and see them regularly. He will have lots of friends
in pre-school. I would not worry. I am not sure if I would continue going
to the group if he is always left alone. Maybe the local park would be a
better place to meet people. How about a gym class?
Hi, what i was hearing from your post, was that this is really all you've been able to find, right now. I also got the impression that HE wasn't upset, It could be that he just enjoyes getting out of the house and playing with some new toys.
I guess I would want to know if the other kids are just naturally going off and creating their own games and don't really realize he wants to play, or if he is asking nicely to be included and they are being super mean and telling him no. He might not even be asking to play with them, he might be happy having the attenton of the care giver or helping with the babies.
I guess I'm saying Don't let your MIL put a negative spin on your getting settled in the new place. She might just be expressing that she misses him a weird way, instead of just saying she misses him.
If you like it enough, or at least like getting out of the house, and he enjoys his time, even though there aren't any his age right now, I would stick it out because you never know who else might suddenly join, and You also don't know who you might meet through these ladies that would be perfect. Preschool will be starting soon.
If you like the people at the playgroup, invite them over to your place! The playgroup doesn't sound like it's fun for your son...Try to find friends for him at other places, library, park, etc. Or, post to a local yahoo group or craigslist for kids attending his preschool and find kids that he will be in school with, then you can get a leg up on the transition...Or, call the school and tell them to let parents of kids in his class know that you're interested in setting up a pre-Fall playdate, so the kids can get to know each other...
I would be sad too. : (
You want your child to be happy! I would just take him out of there & take him to the park. I am sure there is other playgroups you can look into. Don't be concerned...he will make a lot of friends!! : )
You got a lot of good answers. I think people place too much emphasis on social skills. I really believe that humans are social animals by nature, so your child will socialize when he's ready and finds the right friend. The play group is definately too old, and you can't expect older kids to play with younger ones. The play ground is great, because you'll meet more of a variety of people than in a play group. You might want to let your child get used to playing alone and entertaining himself at home first, because once he hits preschool, he'll be bombarded with friends and lots of kids to play with. I have found that the draw backs of over socializing kids is that they get lonely when they have to play by themselves and they will sometimes pick up bad habits from other kids. This is what happened to me. My son is VERY social...I had him in the daycare early, so he was used to socializing. Guess what? He is annoying at home, because he constantly wants me to watch him or play with him.
Doesn't sound like he's a good fit for this playgroup, since there are no boys his age. I would definitely find another one. Have you tried finding one through meetup.com?
Since he's starting preschool next fall, I wouldn't worry too much about it, since he is sure to make friends then, but if you are going to this group just for him (and do not necessarily enjoy the time yourself), I wouldn't bother continuing. He probably won't miss it, and at this age, even a trip to the mall with you is stimulating.
Sounds like the ages in this play group are just off for your son, I would keep looking or just take him to the park. Things will get better once school starts!
Aw that'd make me sad too. :( Definitely find a different play group. Your little guy sounds fine playing by himself but he'd probably have a lot more fun running around with little ones closer to his age. Try www.meetup.com and look for groups for moms and toddlers. There are usually a lot and if there isn't one in your area, you can create one. Best of luck!
Is it a MOPS playgroup?
If it's not benefiting your son, then really, what's the point of continuing to go? It may be the age differences, or just that your child doesn't "click" with that particular group of kids. In any event, I wouldn't force my kid to be a part of that group, as it's not a very good match.
What about a city class or other class that's just for kids his age? Our city has several programs where you leave them in the class & just stay on the premises. They are great for socialization, and the kids have fun & are learning something in the process.
Do you stay with the moms? Maybe you could find out who the little girls mothers are and ask if they can help get the kids together.
