I work in a small dept in an office. There are 8 employees. I am the only contractor. I work part time 2 -3 days per week. the boss is a man and he is really treating me badly. There was a meeting today and after the meeting I felt like going in his office and having a private chat with him.
But I am not sure that ever helps things. I think he treats me bad because I am a contractor and set my own hours- work as much or little as I want. the work is not time dependent and we are so far behind that any help I give is a step in the right direction.
I left the office today still puzzing over having a heart to heart chat with the man. But I am concerned that it will just make things worse. He is difficult for several employees in the group. The meek mild employees seem to get along better with him.
Can anyone out there give me an opinoin????
Sometimes it does help.
There are some really difficult personalities that actually need someone to confront them in order to treat them with respect. I've had a couple of bosses like that. In fact, after talking to them once, I never had a problem again because they knew what my boundaries were and knew what to respect.
The question: does this ever help?
Answer: No.
Just keep doing your job. There will be lots of jerkos in life. As my mother always said. Ignore them. And remember you are the same or better than him. Treat him exactly the same as he treats you.
He maybe just stressed and feeling a lack of control. He may not be aware of the fact that he has made you a target of his frustration. Or, he may be aware that he is aggitated with you possibly because you have more freedom to come and go and don't have to work so many hours but not have the self-awareness to pinpoint the reasons for his feelings.
If you can take the high road and just tell him that you are aware that he is under a lot of stress and if there is anything that he would like to talk about with you, you can be a sympathetic ear, then that might be the route to go. But, if this guy just happens to be a real jerk, then I really wouldn't bother. Why set yourself up for his nastiness.
Wish I could be of more help.
It is all in what you have to say and how you say it. Is your boss sexually harrassing you, verbally harrassing you, not treating you fairly? How is it that he is treating you "bad"? What does he do that is difficult? Does he have a boss over him? Is there an HR person? If he is treating other people poorly then it may have nothing to do with you being a contractor. I have been at the bottom of the workforce and the top. At every position I have experienced both successful and unsuccessful conflict resolutions. The successful ones, as a boss, were those that came to me with a specific problem and ideas for a solution. The unsuccessful ones were when someone came to my office just to complain. Usually the compaliners, in my opinion, simply did not like their jobs or lives and it had nothing to do with me. There was nothing I could do because I did not know what they wanted fixed. As a boss, I also never took my "position" too seriously. Some people really like that "you will listen to me" thing - is that your boss? Because he is already on the offensive and any chat will likely go nowhere.
I am a proponent of dialogue and attempts to always improve a situation that you are not happy with, but you need to focus in on what it is that bothers you and what you would like to see as an outcome.
Good luck,
C.
Just do your job, if you are doing a good job be proud of yourself and let his bully ways roll off your back. He apparently is stressed and taking it out on others. We dont always like the people we work with....
If you say something to him, it will most likely cause more tension. Just be the bigger person and ignore his meanness. You know you are better than that....
Hi Lisa
My advise would be to talk to him,show him that you are not a weak woman and will not take this.
Try to stay calm and professional and have a clear idea what you are going to say. Stict with the facts and give him a crisp clear list of the things he has said/done and why you feel he is treating you bably.
Don't worry about consquences.If things get worse then you can bring your complaint higher up.
Keep a wriiten record of dates,incidences etc in case you need them for a future date.
Reading this I think you will be left feeling resentful if you don't address it.
Be strong and best of luck
B.
hi there,
i have found, sadly, through my own experiences that a talk will not do any good. the guy is a jerk and will always be one. even if you go over his head it will only make him mad. i think there are just some jerks in the work world and others have to suffer. its sad that we cannot tell on them for being jerks or making work harder than it has to be. the only thing i can think to make it easier is to act meek by him and 'let him win' i had to do that alot at my one job it was completely ridiculous. sometimes the work itself isnt hard its more the getting along with everyone thats the hardest!
good luck though :)
i can't see it helping, just going to put his back up. unless you are prepared to leave over it, i see no reason to confront.
My best experience with these situations, and it is not a lot, but here it is: go in with an attitude of problem solver. Hey Mr Blank, I see the numbers in this area are lower than usual, I know betty sue and bobby jo work here I have some experience would it be helpful if i took an hour from my normal tasks to assist? If he is open to it then he sees you with value if he is not, either grin and bear it or find someplace else to go. Typically the respect earned in the workplace for me has been found by problem solving and showing my team player abilities. I do not know what you do or dont do but if the department is behind I am sure you have seen a way to improve it, and remember he is a man help him think part of it was his idea. Old fashioned thinking i know but you get a better response that way. Hope it helps someone.
Only you can judge whether it will help or not. I have had bosses who were receptive to open communication and other that were not. If you are going to talk to him then I would suggest that you pick a time that he appears less stressed and more open to communication. I also work a flexible part-time schedule but it is around what the company needs as much as it is about my needs. You stated that your schedule is when and as much as what you want - this may be frustrating to your boss (even if it was agreed to when you started). I would suggest that you talk to him about how you perceive his attitude toward you, how it affects your work/working relationship with him and how you want to try to improve things. Then ask him if he would like a change in the hours you work and see if you can come to an amicable arrangement that will work for both of you.
As one of the other posters mentioned he is probably jealous of your flexible schedule and so, if you talk to him about it he may soften up a bit.
Good luck.
Nope. In y experience, the people who are seen as doing all the talking about all the work are the ones who aren't doing any of it. Not you--just saying it might be his perception.
