She Used to Love School

Another possibility is that the homework is not really appropriate, and she is getting tired of doing it. There is no research evidence that homework is really good for young children. After a long day at school, kids need family time, play time, down time.

My son did the same thing but it was because he was bored. The work wasn't challenging enough.

Hi A.,

I am the daughter of a divorced Mom who started a new life with a wonderful man when I was about the same age (I was 8). Although I can't remember the feelings I had as I think they were a bit subconscience. I acted out when my step-dad moved in. For so long it was my mom and my sister and I and he was invading our lives. Although he ended up being the man that gave me away at my wedding years later...it wasn't always that way at first.

Also, I have a sister who is 19 years younger than I am and about 4 years ago (she was 11) my mom and her Dad split up. She all of a sudden stopped doing all homework and bombed in school. Went from honor roll to barely making it.

I would take a look at the situation and although your daughter likes the man in your life - it's a HUGE change and I don't think she knows how to express that to you. My 15 year old sister STILL has a hard time with my mom dating and such but is scared to say anything because she doesn't want to hurt my mom's feelings...(so she tells me and I get to relay the info!).

So, although I'm sure this man is a wonderful influence on your lives, I would make sure that you and your little girl still get some time alone together. I wouldn't expect her to open up and tell you, "Mom I like John and he's fun to do things with but I don't like him living here." I don't think she would even know if that's how she felt...you know what I mean?

Good luck, and like I mentioned after the transition of my "step-dad" he became a very important person in my life - even after my mom divorced him and still to this day.

T.

When I got married I made sure to ask my son what he wanted to keep that was just for the two of us to do together. If she does like this guy I think it's even harder for them to admit that they don't feel right about it. I was 8 when my step-father moved in and to watch my mom get all giggly around him was very strange to me. I would still check with the teacher; without her knowing; just to make sure nothing has happened at school. Also if she is having trouble with math it would start showing at the end of first grade when it starts to get a little more difficult.Good Luck.

I think your instinct is probably correct, that this might have to do with the changes at home. She may well like your boyfriend but really this changes so much in her life, in her relationship with you and with her dad too.

You could try setting aside regular time for just the two of you. You might try to open up the floor so that she could share her feelings with you. It would be important to let her have her feelings even if they are uncomfortable for you to hear.

I'm a clinical social worker and work therapeutically with families. If you get "stuck" I'd be happy to try to help you access services if you need them.

J. V.
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MAYBE IT DOES BOTHER HER THAT YOU HAVE STARTED A NEW RELATIONSHIP. YOU HAVE TO GIVE HER TIME TO ADAPT TO HIM. ITS MOT GOING TO BE EASY. GIVE IT SOME TIME BUT ALSO TRY TALKING TO HER ABOUT THE NEW CHANGE THAT YOU HAVE MADE. I HAVE A 6 YEAR OLD AND AN 8 YEAR OLD AND THEY UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON AND WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY DECISIONS. JUST TRY TALKING TO HER AND EXPLAIN THE SITUATION TO HER LITTLE BY LITTLE.

A., Check and see if it might be about school. What about friends.Relationship with teacher. sometimes as a single parent we go to our self first.It sounds like your a good mom and you have worked on having a good relationship with her dad. I am a life coach and hypnotherapist and work with kids and there school problems. If I can help you further let me know. A.

i would have her eyes checked too.. right before my son got his glass'es.. (back in 2nd grade) he didnt want to sit and read with me and got fustrated while reading and doing math.. he was old enough to know that he was having a hard time seeing and it wasnt normal.. but he was scared that he would have to wear glass'es and ppl would make fun of him.. so he never spoke up.. i had to sneak him to the eye dr.. but he seemed off as well...

Hi A.,

You may be right on about her being upset about personal matters in the family.

However, if you think it might have to do with her teacher and/or schooling feel free to e-mail me. I used to be a 1st grade teacher and am now an Education Professor at a university in Chicago. I can give you some tips on how to help her succeed in reading, math, etc...

T.

I do not have any personal experience in this area, but I have heard that many school/learning issues are related to vision problems. Have you had her eyes checked recently?
The new relationship could also be contributing. Did the problems start about the same time he moved in? She may not feel confortable telling you if she is unhappy about the relationship because she knows how much you like him, she may not want to hurt you by voicing her opinion. Is there another person in her life that she might feel comfortable talking to?
And of course, definitly set up a time to visit with her teacher about how she behaves in class, and whether or not the teacher has seen or heard anything that might be causing your daughter some distress.
Good luck!