Just wondering if anyone else has a child that doesn't like food? Our seven-year-old hates to eat. He's been this way since he was two. It's a constant battle to get him to eat enough that he doesn't lose weight (and when he does, his pediatrician gets on our case and we're stressed out even more). We go through stretches where he'll eat but are currently going through a not-going-to-eat-dinner-no-matter-what hunger strike. He has a lot of issues already -- ADHD, OCD, depression (all being treated) -- and is extremely, extremely picky about what he will eat. We have tried being forceful about meals -- making him go to bed if he doesn't eat, losing privileges, etc. We've also tried the, "It's up to you, eat if you want, don't eat, whatever" -- and then he happily chooses not to eat and loses weight. He isn't motivated by any positives/rewards, especially not dessert (just more food and why would anyone want that? Sigh ...). (ETA: Unfortunately, this is not related to his medication, so no easy solution. He wasn't on medication when he was a toddler, which is when this all started. His appetite does drop off when his medication dosage changes; however, that's only in the initial weeks and during the morning. We run into the biggest problems later in the day, when the medication is out of his system.)
It's all exhausting and I would love to hear any ideas of what has worked for others. It's very hard for me to deal with this as I'm going through Weight Watchers. I simply can't relate to not wanting to eat ever. We've talked to his doctors and specialists already and just get the "feed him high-fat foods to help him gain when he does eat." That only works to a small extent, though.
Thanks in advance for ideas here ...
Thank you so much for all of the thoughts on this! I appreciate every one of them. Figures that the day after I post this, our son would decide to eat again! He ate two pieces of pizza for dinner and then two large bowls of ice cream (so much for nutrition, but hey, it's full of fat and it's food ... and he wanted it all). Also got him to drink a veggie/juice combo, which is loaded with calories and nutrition. Whew! I know this won't last, but at least for one night, I feel good that he's had dinner.
My 7yr old son is autistic and only eats about 5 foods so I am now trying feeding therapy thorugh an OT. Because ADHD is on the spectrum and it is common for spectrum children to have sensory issues this may be what you are dealing with. Is he eating only crunchy or only smooth foods? There is a book about feeding issues called, Just Take a Bite. It is geared toward younger children it still may be helpful to you.
Hello Mama-
Have you tried protein drinks? They may help, if he'll eat them.
I would also ask him what about food does he dislike, the taste, texture, smell? He may have a sensory disorder and eating could be a sensory issue.
I'm sorry I do not have more.
R. Magby
Have you tried a different approach to presenting food to him? If you are filling his plate, try just having the food set out 'family style' and pass the dishes letting him choose what he's going to eat. Normally at age seven I would believe in putting a little of each item being served on the plate, have the child eat that much and then be able to choose, but in this extreme a situation I think whatever he might choose would be better than nothing at all. Also, while I'm a firm believer in set times for eating, maybe letting him 'graze' throughout the day would be helpful. Have out a bowl of fruit, or maybe some small dishes with nuts, crackers, pretzels or other good foods (that don't require refrigeration) so that as he is going about his day he may pass those and be tempted.
I'm sure you already understand this, but most of all don't be too stressed about his lack of eating, because that will only tend to make it worse.
One more thing that may be possible for you to try is to help him grow a small vegetable garden. Sometimes just the fact that a child has invested themselves in the process of getting the food to his plate will spark an interest in eating.
I know this answer probably won't help you but my daughter is almost four, and like you, started saying no to all foods at around 2. She turns her nose up at everything except liquid in a straw cup. It was exasperating. One thing she hates to do is "take a nap", "have a rest" or "close her eyes for a little while".
One day I was so completely fed up with our usual food negotiations I leaned in really close to her and said, "I have to tell you a secret. Did you know that if you don't eat at least a little something, eventually your eyes will close and they will never open again? You know how you hate to rest your eyes in the afternoon when the sun is still up? Well, if you don't eat your eyes are going to want to rest themselves and they'll just close on you whether you want them to or not so it would be best if you ate a little something at every meal."
Her eyes got very wide and she ate her dinner and I haven't had to really push the issue since. This only worked because I know my kid and I know what she dislikes. I worked it into a veiled threat that made sense to her. Maybe you can figure something out as well. If he has ever had blood drawn or a shot you can tell him that if he doesn't eat that he'll have to go to the hospital and they'll feed him all his dinner through a needle they'll have to stick in his butt or something. Something to the effect that if he doesn't put the food in him himself, someone else will do it and it won't be pleasant. The thought of the loss of control over himself may do the trick since a lot of "food fights" are just control issues. Kids don't usually feel like they have a lot of say about what goes on with them but they can control what they eat, and when they poop so between those two things a lot of issues can crop up.
My daughter stopped eating at 2 years old and didn't start eating again until she was 8 so I feel your pain. What we finally had to do was have a nutritionist prescribe Pediasure so that the insurance would pay for it and she literally drank 4 of them a day for 5 years. Meghan has severe sensory issues and couldn't STAND anything in her mouth. She is 20 now and still won't drink anything unless it's through a straw. She DOES eat now however she has had years and years of sensory therapy to get her to be able to stand different textures. We still have issues with her eating though, she is currently on a pizza, hamburger and fries kick and it is the ONLY thing I can get her to eat so I have conceded to a point. She now eats only Angus beef burgers (frozen patties from Sam's club) on whole grain wheat buns with sweet potato french fries and I make whole grain pizza dough by the ton and freeze it in small balls so I can defrost it, spread it out and top it with anything from chicken to low fat pepperoni to scrambled eggs. I have learned to LOVE my George Foreman and my Toaster/Convection oven :) Always remember to pick your battles. If he has a favorite food (they tend to go through phases), work within that framework and pump up that particular food but definitely get him on some Pediasure through a nutritionist.
I hesitate to respond b/c depending on the details of the situation, something could be seriously wrong, and if this were extreme and my kid, i'd go from doc to doc doing every test in the book to try to figure out if this were a medical issue.
However, that being said, I was a very picky eater and still am. If I don't have specifically what I am hungry for/craving that day in front of me, then I will eat nothing. I've been that way since birth. I hated milk (still do), and as a baby refused the bottle. I was always/still am small. What I ate as a child was nowhere near healthy, but it kept me going. I'd make it through the day on snack cakes and chips b/c the thought of traditional dishes (like meat or bread) repulsed me. I eat a lot more variety of foods now (a lot more) but I am still picky and must have what I am hungry for. I eat out a lot. My husband and kids are also picky eaters. So, if it is just a matter of many foods physically repulse him (I understand this) and there is something you can give him that he likes and will eat, then give it to him.
Furthermore, I also went through depression as a child... and one major symptom was not wanting to eat AT ALL. The eventual cure for this was that my mom hooked me up with a kid from my class to help me make a friend... my closest relatives had just moved away, and I spent hours of the day just crying. Depression is serious business and can certainly be a culprit.
That is my advice... hope it helps. I wish you the best.
My son just turned 16 and he has been like this his whole life. It's weird when other moms talk about how much their teenage sons chow down the food when Connor will take a few bites of anything and then get distracted by something else and forget to finish. We never did come up with any truly successful ideas other than getting him involved in the food preparation process--this is especially useful for ADHD kids because there are lots of measuring tools, bowls, labels to read and others things that tend to keep their interest. Out of four kids, he is my only chef. He started helping me in the kitchen at 2 and now will call me from his dad's house to get a certain recipe. He's still skinny as a rail and I still worry--even after 16 years. But he's as healthy as a horse, so maybe it works out eventually.
My son just turned 8..........we have this problem even though he doesn't have ADHD or anything! He's just AFRAID to try new foods! Poor guy. He ate great as a baby, but not after 3yrs old.
I just try to be creative with the few foods he'll eat, and come up with "enticing names" to help him try things. He likes peanut butter, so when it's on toast we call it "Peanut butter Pizza Toast" because he wishes he liked pizza :O) LOL! Whatever, at least he eats it.
I also make milkshakes out of pediasure and ensure (whatever is on sale). It rests my mind that he's getting more nutrition.
My older son (now 13) was a picky eater until about 9, and now he eats almost anything, and not afraid to try new foods. I pray that this will be my younger son, too.
I hope this rests your mind little knowing that there are other kids out here not eating well, yet still doing OK nutritionally.
Just try to go with it for now..........
~N. :O)
I know that you had mentioned that he has been indifferent about eating since he was 2 but I'm going to through this out there just in case . . . a friend of mine had start giving her son a particular med for his ADHD and one of the side effects was a loss of desire to eat. Her son ended up getting scary skinny even and she was throughly exhausted pushing the food on him. This all resolved when she switched his meds. What are the chances that this may be the same issue with your son?
