Should I make my 4 yr old go to a 5 day camp even though she has developed over the last few months seperation anxieties? I want to help her get over her fears but I just don't know what I should do. She used to be outgoing and go play at friends houses but now prefers to stay home and have friends come to her.
To elaborate a little more this is just a day camp. I would drop her off in the morning and pick her up in the afternoon. I spoke to her again about it last night after taking her meet the teacher & see where she is going again and she says she is just really nervous. I told her about times I have been nervous too. She still says she doesn't want to go but she only says it half heartedly. I think I will take her the first day & see how it goes. Thanks all for your advice! I really appreciate it.
I would not send my 4 year old to a 5 day camp, especially if she didn't want to go. From my experience with my own kids and others, 4 is a very common age to develop more of the seperation anxiety, even if it wasn't there before. My opinon, don't send her.
5 Days seems like a long time for a 4 year old who doesn't appear to be ready. I would say ease into it. Have her spend the night someplace she is comfortable to start with, if she is willing. She won't be like this forever. 4 is awfully young. If you force this, it may make it worse. I wouldn't send her if it were me. Good luck in your choice!
As a former daycare provider, let me give you a bit of advice. In the AM when you drop her off, she may protest, she may even cry when you get there and are going to leave. It isabsolutely imperative that you leave quickly. Give her a hug and kiss, tell her how proud you are of her and that you love her, and leave.
I promise you within 5 minutes she will completely stop crying and she will make friends and have a good time. I've seen this numerous times, and experienced it with my son. Don't stress, this experience will be good for her!! :)
My daughter is almost 7 yrs old (turns 7 un July) We have dealt with Sep Anx her entire life and even though she enjoyed her daycare and her schools - we have had days (weeks even) where she was needing to be hand plucked from my body and I would have to walk out knowing she was kicking and screaming for me! No matter what the reason is behind the anxiety - dont force the child. It does more damage than good. Reassure your daughter that you will always be there for her and you love her unconditionally and support her creativity and independence and eventually she will branch out on her own.
I had to take my daughter to see a counselor because I thought I was handling it wrong and wasnt sure how to handle the cause of it. See her father would show up unexpectedly and spend 20-30 minutes with her say he loved her and he would see her tomorrow and not come back for 6-8 months - so when I would drop her off at school - in her mind - even though I said I would be there to pick her up - would I really or would I abandon her like he did....
Even now she is one of her moods of needing reassurance - so I get momma - come sit with me and watch TV - will you hold me momma like when I was a baby....
I know one day she wont need it anymore and I will be the one craving it... so for now I nurture her the best I can - she knows what she needs and eventually one day - she will be strong and sure enough it will all be a memory all but forgotten.
Good luck and stay strong - I know it hurts when you cant fix something for them... some things they just need to work out on their own.
Talk with her. Something may have happened to her that she is not talking about. I would not send my child off without knowing what is wrong. I have learn to listen to my children and students when they make an about face like that.
She is only 4. Fears start creeping in at that age and it's all a part of developing. Don't force her to go to camp she's still really little to be going to an away camp.
Wait a couple of years and see if she's ready.
Good luck,
DH
Are we talking about a day camp or a sleepaway camp? There is a big difference in my mind. I do agree that it might be hard on her if she isn't ready, but at the same time, you can look at it from the opposite end of the spectrum, as well. She might actually enjoy it and it might be a huge confidence builder for her.
When my 6-yr old was 4, we went through this. She never liked being dropped off at preschool, but I worked so she had to. (I was home for 2 yrs). If I were you, I wouldn't send her unless you can find a camp that she is excited about. I found my daughter a 5-day ballet princess fantasy camp in San Antonio for 3-5 year-olds. I got her all excited about it beforehand, and she wanted to be in ballet. I was VERY surprised that I was able to drop her off OK the first day. She ended up doing fine all week. It ended at 3 pm every day. But--if she weren't excited about going, it would have been torture for her. I did not send her the next year because she was not excited enough about it, even though she loved it the year before (I think age 4 may be peak princess time.) So, find some fun options, and see if there is one that might pique her interest. I understand your wanting her to be social--I put her in Mother's Day Out my last semester home for 3 mornings a week and I've put her in gymnastics to get her used to being in groups. At 6, she is much better, but we still get a lot of scowling when people talk to her that she doesn't know. She's been crowd-phobic all her life. Good luck!
