Separation Anxiety or Upset at Transition?

This same thing happened to me and to a friend of mine a couple of months ago. My son is 15 1/2 months right now and my friend's daughter is the same age. I think it is just something they go through at that age. My son started walking at 13 months and my friend's daughter started at 1 year. My son goes to daycare and my friend is home with her daughter. We have two very different situations however I children were doing the same thing. It only lasted three weeks and then it was back to normal. Take comfort in knowing that it will stop and get better. You just have to let her go through it. :) Good luck and I hope this helps.

B.

toddlers need cudling as well, in my daycare I hug and cuddle all my kids, no mater the age, and i don't seperate them by age. I don't know if she is having seperation axiety or not it may be a phase she is going through, but 13 months still need to cuddle and hug, and feel that love and security. J.

Mommy...you're doing all you can to secure baby. Just continue with reassuring and holding her through her crying in the night. The separation does cause some trauma for the baby but as she finds that the change is safe...she will be ok. Children learn really fast to be self reliant and sufficient. My kids went through this and I found that I had to lay with them a little longer, and talk to them a little more. If you can log things down and date the behaviors, you may see a trend. Sometimes kids do different things when feeling insecure, my kids didn't wake up at night but my son would mess his pants, beg to stay home...

Sad thing is that you need to be aware that children sometimes might be having a negative experience with a certain individual(when in childcare environment) and as you track the behaviors and see changes...you can communicate this to the care giver and let them know that you're observing differences in the behavior at home and you're very concerned. They might keep an extra eye out on your child to make sure no one is messing with her. Extra precautions always produce positive results.

Hi V.,

At 13 months babies are beginning to understand that they are independent humans. However, this realization can be scary. Thus, they need constant reassurance that you are there and available to them so they will want to be picked up more (and sometimes just be put down again) and they can have separation anxiety. This is totally age appropriate. Just be loving and available as much as you can and it should pass eventually. Also, remember that at night if they are in their own room they are alone and it can be scary at this age. When mom is out of sight she doesn't exist anymore. If she cries, come in and soothe her back to sleep during this phase.

V.

I just wanted to say I'm in s similair situation so I hope lots of people respond for the both us!! And your not alone - my son has been sleeping through the nite for 6 months and he is now 13 months and for the last two weeks has woken up screaming until I pick him up

This is the age where separation anxiety usually starts, but I kind of doubt that in itself would affect her sleep. Watch her closely and see if she's getting sick (cold, ear infection, teething, etc.) and/or if she's not getting good naps (in this case you may need to inquire at the day care center). My son sleeps through the night unless he's sick or overtired from not napping well.

Is it possible the culprit isn't separation anxiety or the transition? The waking up at night seems to indicate another issue. Perhaps she's teething?

V., it is very posible that your daughter's brain is developing the abiliy to imagine and dream in a diferent way than before. The change in he preschool may contribute to he stress level and give her fodder for her dreams but that is healthy. She'll adjust and so will you. It is clear that she feels loved and secure. She will adjust soon.

It seems that her mental state has been addressed as well as possible, so I'd make sure there aren't any physical factors that are preventing her from a good night's sleep. For example, is she teething, or is she too hot or too cold? Is there something in her crib that is making her uncomfortable?

My son is 14 months old and goes through this from time to time. As long as it doesn't become an established pattern, I wouldn't worry about it.

We had a similar situation with our son. He started crying when we dropped him off, and was having night tremors. We thought it was separation anxiety, or teething, or becoming more aware of his surroundings. We started to listen to our gut and are glad we did.

There were several teachers in this center that were very abusive and rough with him. He came home with an adult size hand print on his upper arm, as if someone had grabbed him to hard. We asked around and finally got some feedback from other parents who said they were rough with our child, and then from another teacher who said that the daycare center leader moved him to the bigger toddler class because he was so tall for his age, and that he would sit and cry in that class all day. There is a lot more to this sad story...but please listen to your child. Stop in during the day and make sure your child is well cared for, and isn't scared or intimidated by other children or by the teachers!

We have had to take our child to therapy because of the trauma he received at such an early age. He is better now, but the pain will always be in our hearts.

Not to downplay the anxiety issue, but have you considered she might just be teething? Both of my daughters at that same age started waking up at night, being clingy, things they hadn't done a lot before.