Sensitivity Issues

My son is not as extreme, but it really helped me to read "The Highly Sensitive Child". I learned a lot about him, and how to respond to him. If you haven't already read it, I highly recommend it.

I agree with ALL of the post so far. You need to get her evaulated for sensory processing disorder. There are therapies that can help! Getting the books too will give you an idea of what it is like for your daughter, most libraries will have a book or two on the subject.

The reason there is not much an issue at school is because, I think, she is like my son who will do whatever he can not to stand out at school. Or to be a problem to the teacher in any way, because he is a people pleaser. That is, with everyone except his family where he knows he is loved unconditionally. He holds it together at school, and I get nothing but glowing reviews from teachers, but the moment he gets home he lets it all out, in a big thunderous way!

Stress is a huge factor, the rougher school gets, the more the sensory issues get worse. Its like they just cannot handle it all (which it is like for all of us with one thing or another).

Evaluations and therapy can all be free under state or school programs. It can only benefit her in the long run. Don't wait for her 'to outgrow it'. Even though it seems to lesson with age, this is a not fun for anyone and there are ways to make it easier on everyone!

Two of my children had some of the same issues. They were both seen by an occupational therapist and both went through a brushing program. Yes it seems odd to "brush" your child, but it worked for both of my children. I really think you should have your daughter evaluated and do any recommendations the ot may have for you.

Yes, get a referral to a pediatric occupational therapist who has experience with sensory issues. Even if you need to find a new doctor to do so. A good OT can help both you and your daughter. Both of my sons have had OT for sensory issues and their issues weren't as significant as your daughter's. There are some good books out there on sensory issues too. I don't remember the exact titles and there might be more since I was looking for them, but one is The Out of Sync child or something similar. There was another book that I found to be an easier read, but the title escapes me. Sorry, but I think it's ignorant or irresponsible of her doctor to say she'll "grow out of it" when help is readily available. Good luck.

I don't know if doctors are very familiar with sensory issues. They ARE more sensitive to textures, clothing seams, etc. and it does actually irritate/scratch and can even hurt.

If you're ok with buying second-hand clothing, often they are broken in and soft, the seams aren't as irritating, etc. And if the clothing HAS been driving her crazy at school and she's been holding it together all day, then she NEEDS to get them off when she gets home, so let that go.

Work with her if you can. Find out what clothes she is comfortable in and see if you can figure out why they work better. Then buy that brand.

You might want to ask the school district if she can be assessed for sensory issues. Google something like "how to help my child with sensory sensitivities", and you may get more ideas.

Just an FYI, this is an issue that does crop up with autism, so you will probably see that in the articles you find. Sensory issues can be stand-alone, so don't stress about that. My son is on the spectrum, but he SEEKS input and clothing doesn't bother him, but I've learned a lot about the other direction by reading about how to help him with his sensory stuff.

As everyone has said, this sounds like a classic set of sensory integration/processing issues. Occupational therapy could potentially work wonders.

And there's actually a whole catalog -- called Fun and Function -- of clothes designed for sensory-sensitive kids.

And they DO grow out of these things, but it takes time. With my son, he still has some of the issues he had in preschool, but they're less overwhelming to him. No magical cures, but over the years, less drama.

I second everyone who say get an evaluation with an OT. They can give you some help in how to get her and you through this...it is a sensory issue, and it can be helped.

My son had (and sometimes still does) have sensory issues...when he is stressed he walks on his toes and chews on things...

We all have them some of us more than others. And like a previous poster said don't freak out about autism links with sensory issues, many children have them that are not on the spectrum. My son isn't on the spectrum, but many tools we have used to help him are from autism resource stores.

Do some Googleing and find a good OT. Big hugs!!

I say you should take her to a good child psychiatrist. Not a social worker or counselor. There's a chemical problem here that makes her hyper-sensitive. She may only act this way when she's at home because she knows she's loved at home and feel unconditional acceptance (that's a very good thing) - she's not acting that way at school because she knows that an environment where "love" in conditional based on how she behaves. I feel pretty certain that she feels this way at school too - and I bet it's disracting her. If she's a really bright child it won't show up as a distraction becuase she's able to keep up with the work even with the distraction.

My daughter had variouis odd issues for years that we couldnt' put our finger one. After the first one hour session with an excellent psychiatrist - talking with us and our daughter and having us both complege a questionnaire he was able to diagnose our daughter instantly. He got her medication right and it's been a miraculous difference.

Good luck mama - nobody should have to spend their days feeling so uncomfortable they want to crawl out of their skin.

There is a wonderful book called The Out-of-Sync Child. That helped me understand my son, who just turned 7 and has, in fact, grown out of some of his sensitivity. Getting dressed and ready in the morning used to be a nightmare (eating, too). And he couldn't deal with, for example, switching from his winter coat to a spring jacket in March. One thing I did when he was little was to have him wear his "day clothes" to bed. For him, it was more about *changing* clothing than wearing it. So we had just one change a day, then, instead of changing into jammies and then back into day clothes the next morning. If you haven't tried a star-rewards chart, do that, too (if she responds to that kind of thing). Good luck!

You are describing my daughter!! Her sensory issues started at age four. When at home she only wore underwear until she was 7. The only pants she can wear to this day (she's 10) are leggings. Try leggings with your little one. As for food, do the best you can. My daughter has gotten a little bit better with food but it's still a struggle. She's finally able to articulate that it's not that the food tastes bad, it's that it feels horrible in her mouth. Occupational therapy helped a bit with that. As for the hair sensitivity, we had to cut her hair into a short bob. The screaming and crying from just touching her hair with a brush became a nightmare. She's soooooo much happier now! Definitely get her evaluated for OT. Feel free to PM me for more tips or support. I can totally relate. Hang in there!!!

Yeah, she would benefit tremendously from an OT. It IS a big deal.

She had a sensory disorder. I'm surprised your doctor didn't recommend getting her evaluated by a occupational therapist (they deal with food texture issues and different texture issues to overcome) and I think you may be making it worse by letting her be naked at home. She has to wear clothes. She has to be able to function wearing weather appropriate clothing so I think you need to stick to her wearing clothes. She had to wear a shirt panties and pants of some sort. Have her pick the outfit and then go from there but you have to suck to your guns. If this is really bad spelling and grammar wise I am sorry I am using my phone and can not see the post.

I can't help with day to day coping tips for you, but I wanted to suggest -- Have you talked in detail and in person with her teachers at school? Have they only mentioned the socks because maybe when you pick her up, she's not wearing hers, or fussed that day about going barefoot? If you have only had a quick, at-pickup exchange along the lines of "Sally was kind of upset about her socks today so we let her take them off," then schedule a more detailed and longer talk with her main teacher and any other teachers who have her during the day. (And do it without your child present, and when the teachers have time to meet--not in between classes or when they only have a few minutes to spare.)

She may be pickier at school than you know, unless you've really sat down with all the adults who deal with her there and elicited details from them. She may have to arrange things "just so" or get upset; she may unthinkingly scratch at her arms or legs during the day because she dislikes the feeling of sleeves and pants; she may pull at the neck of her shirt a lot more than they're used to seeing; and so on. You may need to have them really think it through -- possibly they will indeed say they notice nothing like that, which would be good, but it's also possible that they do see little indicators that she is still hyper-aware of her clothes and hair all day long.

I would tell the doctor to refer her for evaluation to the right professionals who look at kids with possible tactile sensitivities. The doctor may feel that it's not a big deal but if YOU, the parent, think it IS a big enough deal, you should simply say you want a referral -- tell the doctor, rather than asking. The information you get from the teachers could help you make the choice of whether to pursue a referral for evaluation.

My oldest was like this, and still is sometimes. Jeans and socks are uncomfortable, so I don't require my kids to wear them. I require socks only if it's dangerously cold out.

I've had great success with dresses and loose leggings. No thin strap dresses, of course, but Hannah anerson type stuff is great. Super comfortable material and loose fit. It's like being naked with clothes on :-)

4 is an age of exerting independence, so some of your daughter extremeness might be a control thing. I'd watch that. But the socks and cloths stuff isn't anything I'd be concerned about. Some kids are more sensitive, so you have to find them stuff they like. Why not take her shopping and help her pick out clothes that won't annoy her?

My oldest is now 6 and she is starting to wear stuff in her hair. She also hasn't complained about socks in over a year. I buy her very particular brands, and she seems happy enough.

I think, she's probably just sick and tired of having to wear.... "winter" clothing. I mean, even I hate wearing all that. That's why I don't like being in or living in, cold places for very long. Although I have done that.
But I cannot stand, everyday... having to wear all that clothing. Ugh!

I think maybe your daughter is just sick and tired of it. Plus, she already does not like tight clothing or it being so many on her and layers of it and the feeling of being engulfed by it.

Perhaps, its just a seasonal thing for her. Hopefully. When it warms up, maybe she won't be so resistant to all the clothing, per the weather. ?????

Maybe she doesn't have to wear socks with her shoes?
Is that an option?
There are also "pedi" type "socks" that only cover the foot. Some don't even cover the toes. Google search it. My daughter has some. She likes it. Google search "Pedi socks."
Also Google Search "footsie socks." My daughter has those too. She likes it. She does not like socks socks that go up her leg.

Instead of "jeans"... can't she wear some other type of long pants???
Maybe: leggings? Yoga type pants for kids? Cotton pants with elastic waistbands? These type of pants are more comfortable.
My daughter, HATED wearing jeans. Until she was about 5th grade.
Or IF you do buy jeans, make sure it is a stretch jean.... the kind with Lycra or spandex in it. I get mine from Old Navy online. Its real comfy. My daughter loves it.
I would just get her OTHER types of pants. Not, jeans.

Also, don't put things in her hair since she hates that. A girl doesn't have to wear clips or elastics in their hair.
Or what about headbands, as an alternative????

And instead of "coats"... can she wear Ponchos instead???? That is an alternative.
Think of alternate... ideas, for clothing.

I think she will grow out of it.
4 is a hard age.
Really.
Both my kids, at 4, was lots harder than when they were 2 years old.

And, basically, a kid does not have to... wear "jeans" or clips in their hair or elastics. So think of something else.
I work at a school. Many of the girls don't wear anything in their hair. They don't all wear "jeans" either.
Think of different clothing, that your girl does like.

I think its mostly a phase.
My daughter or many kids, are more 'sensitive' about it when younger.
My daughter grew out of many of the things that irked her when she was younger.

hello
Although my son will wear clothes... he does NOT like to ever have his socks off.. so much so that once we took him to a tumbling class where they wanted socks off, NOPE.. he wasn't having it...
Now at 12, he says his feet just feel better covered up... Additionally, he seldom VERY seldom will wear short pants or take off his sweater (even when it's really hot).... I think there is a certain amount of security in either wearing lots of clothes or as in your daughter's case.. less...
Something also came to mind though when you mentioned this.. Have you had her checked for allergies? I ask because could be the anxiousness that she may be feeling on the inside is a case of the jitters caused by something she ate and the clothing touching her skin makes the sensation more prevalent.. now some may scoff at this idea, but I mention it because when I have had hives (although a VERY obvious allergy) clothing, even loose cotton would drive me nuts.. I felt like my skin was being constantly "antagonized" ... I just wonder if your daughter is showing early signs of some type of allergy. could be food, dust ..etc..

I would do this .. on an evening before bed, when she's more relaxed gently ask her what it is about the clothing that may bother her... ask her how the clothing feels to her.. have her describe in her own words what is going on. She's only four, but she may tell you something about it that you may never have thought about.. and too, she may not know that perhaps it's not the clothes that is bothering her but a feeling on the inside..

I think it's worth a try..

good luck

It IS a big deal when you have to deal with it! And she's clearly miserable. It's easy for people do dismiss what they don't face all the time, and "she'll grow out of it" may or may not be true but either way it doesn't help you now! So I hear you.

I work with a lot of people dealing with a variety of issues like food "allergies" and sensitivities, chemical sensitivities, sensory issues (like this although it can also be sights and sounds, not just sensations on the skin), taste/texture preferences (or the outright refusal to eat certain textures), behavioral problems (ADD, for example, right down the list), and so on. If you look at today's classrooms and talk to today's teachers, you will see a laundry list of problems that didn't exist (or rarely did) a generation ago.

There are a approaches to this - use a lot of drugs, eliminate a lot of foods, go through extensive and invasive testing, and so on. Hard enough on adults but a nightmare for children. The other approach that has been used successfully involves looking at repairing the changes in the body that result in these reactions. We've had success over the last 20 years in reducing many of them, but in the last 12-15 months or so, the research has shown an extraordinary response by the body to repair of the damage that causes cells to behave in a way they are not designed to do. Inflammation is one way, and excessive sensitivity is another (sometimes it's both).

There's a food-based way to help with this, and for kids especially, it can be fairly quick acting. (Adults sometimes take a little longer.) In all the trainings I attend, I hear anything from 3 days to 3 months, but usually in the longer time frames there are at lease some noticeable improvements along the way before full results are achieved. Because this doesn't involve eliminating anything, it's much easier to incorporate into our lives. It's a commitment, for sure, but the health benefits are very marked - better immunity, fewer colds, etc. So it's a win-win.

There's some education involved but if people are open to taking the time to learn, it can change their lives.

Look into Sensory Processing Disorder....

http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-dis...

There are many different sub-types....

The best thing would be to get her evaluated, and started with Occupational Therapy. They can help guide you to what will work best for your child, and how you can possibly work through some of her sensitivities.

N., for some reason I can't see the other answers, so I may be repeating what others have said. I also have a very sensitive child, particularly with regard to sound and touch. She has been "diagnosed" with sensory processing disorder, and she's had occupational therapy to help with it. It has helped a lot. Unfortunately, because it's not a legit medical diagnosis (yet), our health insurance has not covered the OT, which is costly. I suggest doing some research on sensory processing disorder to see if it sounds like your child. Here's one resource:
http://www.spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-processing-dis...

She may have dry skin. During the winter months clothing irritates the heck out of me. Especially my legs/thighs and upper arms. I am so dry that even a seam irritates and annoys me.

Find a lotion that works well on her then apply it right after you dry her off from the shower. It seals the moisture in better so it can't evaporate.

I use the tub of white lotion from Avon, it has a navy blue lid, Moisture Therapy. Any of them work well for healing and protecting my super dry skin but I like the tub one best for feet, ankles, elbows, and all those dry itchy places.

http://shop.avon.com/product.aspx?pf_id=38611

No baths either. The heat dries her skin out and so does sitting in the water. Showers where she just gets clean are best for dry skin.

If she really wants to play in the water do plain water and luke warm.