Seeking Tips on Potty Training My 2 1/2 Year Old Girl

I used to work for a child development specialist and every time toilet training would come up, we would try and urge parents to see it as toilet learning instead. All children will learn how to use the toilet in their own time. Some take a little longer than others, especially when it comes to bowel movements. When trying to force the issue, they usually hold out longer, and along with that, they are on their own learning curve. By trying to get them to focus on something they are not ready for, you might be taking their focus away from something they are ready for. My boss would make a joke out of it and tell parents that when you try and toilet train at 1, they learn by 3. If you try at 2, they learn by 3. If you do nothing at all, they will do it themselves by 3. My daughter was about 2.9 when she started with urinating, and 3.3 when she was finished with the process. So no matter what, unless there is something medically wrong, almost all children finish the process by 3.6. I hope this helps, and good luck.

naked is best. try to keep her naked for a couple days if you can work it into your schedule and don't talk about it at all. she will be surprised and probably relieved that no one has to think about it anymore.

Great advices below.. I have to agree with tossing out the pull-ups. My daughter would just think its a same as diaper. So I put her on "big girl" underwear and told her that every time she went to use the potty (pee or poop) she gets M&Ms I give her one of each color. It really motivated her bcuz she loves M&Ms plus she learned her colors! Also, your response to his accidents/or not, really do impact them. When my daughter would pee in the potty I would cheer for her and do a funny dance (go Jaimie, go Jaimie you did it go Jaimie) LOL I know it sounds ridiculous but I think she loved to see me do the funny dance so she would always go in the potty to pee. When my eldest daughter started joining me in the celebration..she totally cracked up! So she would always go in the potty to see us do the funny dance.

It took about 3 days for her to catch on to poo in the potty (use the one that he can sit on with his feet planted on the floor. It makes it easier for them to access it whenever they need to go.) It can get gross for awhile, especially when my daughter pooped in her panties and tried to "clean it up" herself. She just got it everywhere. When she poo in her pantie I would say "eeww Jaimie that's yucky, your a big girl now. Big girls poo in their pottys!) After the 3rd day she catches on and started pooing and peeing in the potty. I continued with the funny dance and M&Ms for about 2 weeks. When I saw that she's really taked on I slowly stopped.

I hope this helps.

Good Luck.

Dear M.,
I truly have no advice - but will share some of my potty-training story with you . . . (This was a looonnnngggg time ago, my son is a college freshman and my "baby" is a h.s. freshman.) My baby was nearly completely potty-trained at 27 months, wearing "chonies." But when my husband watched her and she had an accident he put her back in diapers, and she ended up back in diapers full-time - I was SO frustrated! I tried all sorts of things for incentive, but she just wasn't interested. So she was pretty much potty-trained AGAIN and back in training pants by 35 months - but she still wouldn't poop in the toilet! I took my kids to Pizza Hut for dinner one night (now you KNOW this was a long time ago!). We were in the middle of dinner when she got THAT look on her face - I told the other two to stay put and grabbed my very nearly three year old from her booster seat. (Oops! I forgot to tell you that I made very scrawny babies with skinny bird-legs [like their daddy!]) So as I lifted her out of the seat to run with her to the bathroom, the poop fell OUT of her chonies ON to the floor! I was horrified! I stammered to the girl at the counter that we'd had an "problem" and gestured to the spot on the floor, then took my daughter out to the car (where I'd left my diaper bag) to clean her up. When we got back into the restaurant, the poop was still sitting on the floor - they'd left it for me to clean up - wasn't that nice! (No wonder Pizza Hut no longer has dine-in!) -
All that to say - you're not alone . . . (oh, and by the way, I don't know if she was also embarrassed by this, or if I [I swear unintentionally!] shamed her, but that was her last accident)

Good Luck!
B.

while looking through the responses below, something was niggling at the back of my mind, and I couldn't quite grab it . . . then it came to me - every child is different and will be ready at different times for many different reasons (not the least of which is temperament) - I heard that girls potty-train earlier than boys, so I thought my baby, my third, would be a piece of cake - she had two examples to learn from AND had the extra blessing (well, in this area, I thought) of being a girl - she sure taught ME a lesson! Don't expect to your daughter to follow in your son's footsteps - let her be herself!

I employed bribery- find something she really wants at a toy store and buy it. Keep in plain site but put it high enough that she can't get to it. Keep reminding her that she can have it as soon as she poops in the potty. If she poops in the potty give it to her with a lot of fanfare. Keep reinforcing while she is enjoying her new object that she earned it by going poop in the potty like a big girl. If she falls back into pooping into her pants a couple of times, let it go. If she gets what she wants and refuses to go poop in the potty at all( more than 10 times),take the treasured item back until she poops in the potty again. When she poops in the potty again, give the item to her under a lot of fanfare- just like the first time. Praise her everytime she poops in the potty- for a least one month or until she says to stop. Remember that the potty can turn into a control issue...and that all kids are potty trained by the time they are ten (injecting a little humor can take the stress and pressure off the situation!) Good luck!

try putting her in a cloth diaper with a protective plastic underwear over it and when she does her buisness, don't be in a rush to change her....the often don't like the feel of the heavy and wet sensation next to them....

but in all honesty, some times some kids don't recongize the "sensation" that they get just before having to go as the sensation of needing to go number 2...it may take a bit more close attention to her habits and behavior, watching her to see when she looks like she's having the sensation so you can help her identify the sensation she is having as the sensation indicating that she has to go

That seems to be the trouble for most moms. With my son who was the same age as your daughter, I would try to catch him mid-poop. That way it was partially out and then I would run him to the potty and let him finish there. I think part of it is actually realizing that after it comes out it can fall directly into the toilet. My son didn't like when I did this but he caught on really quick. Also I would suggest that you try to get her to poop on the little potty because it's easier for some people if their feet are planted on the floor.

Hi Marcelina;

I raised four children. All I can say to you, is do not put too much pressure on her. Be patient with her. It will come out naturally. The more you put too much pressure on her, she will under pressure and it will be harder for two years old to understand about potty training. I done it with my four children and they learn on their own will. Good Luck.

A.

Hello my 3 Year old son did awesome with potty training once I included this technique. I learned from a friend that works at a daycare center to do this.
My son had pee down as well but would not poo either. I took one weekend and every 20 min I said lets go sit on the potty! I would cheer and get all excited so he would want to do it. Then when he would sit I would read him a book while he was on the potty. I did this for 2 days and by the end of the second day he was not scarred to go poo and he does it all the time now.
Another thing I did was completeley took away pull ups. they say "training pants" but they are still a diaper so kids think they can go potty in them when they want to. At night my son did have a few accidents and still does but never during the day anymore. (only pee accidents too)
Well, I hope this helps for you, it sure did in my household.

Hi. I used two books which I've never known to fail. First is "Once Upon a Potty" for girls, an anatomically correct little book introducing kids to the idea of using a potty. My kids loved it and carried it around "reading" it for months before we did the actual training. There's also a video, but the book is the most important. Then get "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" for you. It is a method developed for teaching mentally challenged adults to use the toilet. It includes an observational test you can use every so often to see when your child is physically and mentally ready to train. It truly only takes a few hours when they're ready. What a relief! Good luck! Grams

This can be frustrating and messy, I understand.
Everyone learns to use the potty at different times. Think about it as a physical task your daughter's body will accomplish when her body is ready. We don't train our kids to crawl or walk, they do that when their bodies are ready. So, encouraging it is one thing but the idea of training is foreign to her body. I don't think all the tricks work if her signals are not telling her body when to do it. My oldest son refused to use the potty until he was 4. He knew when he needed to go, but would ask for a diaper. The toilet can be scary. My almost 3 year old is at the same place as your daughter. he tells us when he has to pee, but not poop. If it is really messy you may want to keep her in pull ups. I would do it without shame. "You body isn't telling you when you have to poop. We're going to use pull ups."
Hope that helps.

Most sources I have read say to stop if you've been trying that long and try again in 6 months. This is because everyone involved gets frustrated and things tend to go down a negative path. Many kids are not potty trained until they are 3. Good luck. :-)

My 2 1/2 year old girl has a similar problem. She will go number 2 on the potty just fine, if she can get there in time. It seems as though she doesn't recognize that urge as quickly as she recognizes the urge to go number one.

She gets very upset when she has an accident so I try to be as nice as I can. I clean her up quickly and give her a hug. We don't talk about it. Then when she makes it in the potty I give her lots of praise and she gets hugs from the whole family. She'll get it soon enough.

Every child is different... I'm sure you've heard that one. My older child peed but did not poop on the potty for A SOLID YEAR. I did not focus on it at all, I just asked her to poop in a diaper. She would wear panties all day and when she needed to poop, she would ask me for a diaper or pull-up and tell me when she was done. I would remind her that when she was ready she could try it in the potty, but I did not push it. She decided when she was ready and it has been clear sailing ever since. Just give her an option to ask for a pull up when she needs it and give her the responsibility. She may surprise you, or it may be months before she decides. This too shall pass... (ha ha)

I tought my son to pull a "poopy face" - which scrunches up his whole face and by default, if he needed to go - something would come out. Works for boys, not sure about girls :-)

Dear M.,

I have a couple of things that you could try.

1. just stop trying to train her for a while.
Every once in a while ask her if she needs to go to the potty, accept her answer, and do not trouble her if she poops in her pants, just clean her up. Have her put the poopy diaper into the container for diapers, without commenting about it is her job, or anything like that.

2. Get a short stool beside the toilet and have her practice getting on the Dora toilet (cute) by herself. Ask if she wants to try by herself or ask for help.

3. Some kids go through a stage of going behind a chair or the sofa and standing there with a blank look on their faces and come out with a loaded up diaper. We had that happen in our family.

4. Children at that age like to feel that they have a bit of control over their lives, so maybe this is her try at it.

5. Stop worrying. It will all turn out o.k., just because it worked out more easily with brother doesn't mean a thing. She is a completely different and unique human being. Umhuh, that is right.

C. N.

We have a princess book (it's our special potty book)that has the buttons on the side and each button plays a song (I think it's best to have one that plays songs instead of quick sound effects). Our daughter wouldn't go #2 until we started giving her the book when she sat down. I think when they're focusing on going #2 they might actually make it harder on themselves. Directing their attention to the book seems to distract and relax our daughter and she's had no trouble going number two since then. Good luck!

I love the easy questions! She isn't ready yet. Try again in 6 months. :0)