Seeking Suggestions on Brushing Teeth

My daughter is really strong willed too. I just had her brush them herself. It made her feel like a "Big girl" and showed her to be responsible for herself. She is now 11 and is very good at keeping her teeth clean.

My guy was like that too. I had to hold him down and force it. Not fun. I finally found one thing that works. I told him one time, It will be over by the time I count to ten. For some reason, that eventually worked. NOw I count to ten every time, and if I'm having trouble with reaching an area or whatever, I just count slower. I still sometimes have to say in the middle, "open wider" or something, but he doesn't fight me anymore and doesnt' seem afraid. Hope it works for you too.

I bought my son a battery activated spiderman toothbrush, it does everything for him, he loves the vibrating and the tingly feelings. Also we let him pick his own type of paste that was still good for his teeth, Diego, Dora, Spiderman, The hulk, whatever made him excited about brushing.

I would not hold her down!! How traumatic, and this is only making the situation worse. You need to get her interested in oral care on her own, because some day she is going to be too big to pin down. ;-)

If this were my kid, I would sit her down and tell her that I wasn't going to force her anymore, but that she needed to realize it was important. I'd tell her that if she wants to eat sweets, she needs to start brushing her teeth. I'd take away sweets until she decided she was going to brush. And I'd show her (non-scary) photos of people with cavities, and tell her this was a consequence of not brushing.

Make sure she sees you and your husband brushing your teeth. Make "toothbrushing time" a family affair. Kids don't like to be left out, so she will at the very least follow you into the bathroom while you do it.

Also, get her a doll or a bear, and ask her to brush its teeth.

Most of the commercial brands of toothpaste (Colgate, Aqua Fresh, etc.) make me want to gag. If you're not already using them, look into Tom's of Maine or other natural brands. They have a more mild, not sugary taste.

Ask her what she doesn't like about it. At 3, she may not have much of an answer, but maybe it hurts or she has a strong gag reflex.

See if she will gargle with mouthwash. It's not the same as brushing, but it's SOMETHING, better than nothing.

It sounds like you have gotten some great advice! I would let her do it, and then you can have a "turn." That's what works for us!

We were having this same issue when my son was 2 1/2. We let him pick out a special towel at the store (he picked a beach towel with pirate animals). We call it his "Toothbrush Towel". We lay it on the floor and I sit at the end. He lays down on the towel with his head in my lap. This makes it easier for me to see his teeth and get them all clean. We also do one section at a time... so we'll do the bottom right and count to ten. Then I let him swallow. Then we switch sections. Making a really big deal out of the specail toothbrush towel really helped.

Hi E.

I asked the same question a while back for my daughter and had great response. Check it out here:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/2133877270694068225

Some of the things that worked best for me were that we let her watch herself in the mirror so she could see what she was getting. We also said that there were sugar bugs in her mouth and we just ad to get them!! Sometimes I have her open her mouth and then I recited all the things that she has eaten that day, like "I see strawberries. I see grilled cheese. I see milk...." That usually distracts her enough to let me get in her mouth for a while.

Good luck!

Have you tried taking her to the dentist? I haven't tried this but I read that some kids see the dentist/doctor as more of an authority that their parents. Good Luck!

ok first and foremost
immediatly STOP holding her down.
i know kids who never brushed their teeth until they were way older than 3, and their teeth really didnt suffer because of it.
brushing teeth is a personal thing. its not something she is going to WANT to do if forced. its like potty training. she has to CHOOSE to do it. include it in your routine by all means, it will help if you brush your teeth while shes brushing hers. it will give her someone to copy. also give her access to a mirror so she can watch herself. its not about doing it perfectly at this age, its about learning to do it for herself and for her to choose to do it. its VERY important for her to choose to do it. and like i said, her teeth most likely will not rot and fall out of her face. if they do, be assured that they are only baby teeth at this point. you should be more concerned with her learning process to take care of her permenant teeth that with her specifically brushing every single tooth in her mouth perfectly.

:D
i hope this all makes sense. kids will NEVER want to do something they are forced to do, but they will do things they can choose to do. make sure that she gets plenty of water, especially after meals or snacks. when and if you give her candies, dont give her starbursts, or gummy sticky candies. give her chocolate candies as they wash out of teeth pretty easily. give her the opportunity during morning and evening routines to brush her teeth, even if she just holds it and pouts like my son does, shes at least going to get used to the idea that shes not going to have to go through the torture of being held down anymore... and that brushing teeth is going to be somethign she will control and will be part of her routine. give her some time to get over being held down, then let her start brushing her teeth on her own will. of course, dont buy 'real' toothpaste, dont make her try to learn to spit it out or anything. get baby or toddler stuff that wont hurt her if swallowed. they usually taste better too. and dont make her sit for a long time and brush either. 2 minutes is enough, again, even if she doesnt do any brushing yet, and do something during that 2 minutes, with my son we sing the abc's.

again, immediatly stop holding her down to do it. its not that big of a deal. it will never help her to understand she has to brush. people put a lot of pressure on parents to make sure kids brush their teeth, when it really isnt going to hurt them that much if they dont when they are younger. this is why many parents end up using the hold them down technique; desperation that they arent being good enough parents to get their kid to brush their teeth. again.
its
not
a
big
deal.
:D have patience. let her have control over this. she will do it on her own. and again, give her lots of water to drink so that it will rinse her mouth out. pretend that the tantrums and struggles at teeth brushing time never happened. :D

The sticker system? Either you can give her a sticker to wear when she does it. Or start a sticker chart to each day she brushes her teeth, and after a week or a month or whatever she gets a "treat" or a toy or something. Worth a try!

I, too, have a strong willed 3 year old daughter! Is she able to tell you what she doesn't like about brushing her teeth? Maybe you could find compromise there. Example: If she doesn't like the toothpaste, maybe just brush them without the paste for awhile. My daughter lets me brush her teeth if she knows that she gets to do it herself after. She also doesn't like to do it at the bathroom sink so we do it in the kitchen...compromises :)

My son was very strong willed also. Now that he is 8, I also came to realize that he is extremely sensitive. I would talk about how he had sugar bugs in his teeth and we needed to brush them out. As I brushed, I sang the ABC's and when the song was over I was done. To me, if he didn't brush for a day, it wasn't a big deal. They are baby teeth and all that you are trying to do now is create healthy habits. One day or one time doesn't rot any teeth out. I would try some reward system for brushing quietly or cooperating. The more that she sees you and your husband's healthy habits might make it seem like something fun to do. I would let her have her toothbrush anytime she wanted. Let her brush her teeth anytime she wanted. If it's her idea maybe she wouldn't be so resistant? Good luck with the strong willed child-they keep things exciting!!

My daughter absolutely didn't want to brush her teeth at around that age for a while and luckily I consulted with my sister who gave me awesome advice. She said to completely 'drop it' for a couple weeks and then reintroduce it in a very special way. I then bought a really great kid's battery-operated toothbrush (they're like five dollars or something), kid's toothpaste, and flossers and a little space in the bathroom all for herself to arrange all these neat things and a star chart for rewards. It worked with my daughter, who had been very cooperative for so long and then decided to give me a hard time all of a sudden. It was a gentle way of fooling her into doing the right thing (oooohhh...Reverse Psychology if you wanna get technical). Except for the not brushing teeth for a couple weeks part--that was kind of disturbing because it felt so wrong, but it really was just enough time for her to forget about her fight about it with me. After that amount of time, she was so happy to get that neat dental hygiene stuff all for herself that she didn't know what to do but cooperate. Good luck!!

HI E.! Ignore the advice that says not to hold her down! Oral care IS a big deal and you holding her down is going to be better than the dentist having to restrain her.
3 years old is old enough to obey you when you say it's time to brush. I would start preparing her after dinner for brushing time and show her the reward(non food item) that you have for her if she lets you tickle her teeth.
Holding your child down to brush teeth is not evil and will NOT make it harder in the end. My daughter is 2 and I would sit on the toilet lid and hold her between my knees while I brushed her teeth. I would talk to her soothingly(While she screamed like a banshee) the whole time and would brush gently for as little time as possible. Then we would look in the mirror and see her shiny teeth. We started this when she was 18 months. She has diabetes and oral hygiene is very important for diabetics. Now at age 2 she happily lets me brush AND floss her teeth for as long as I need to!
So there IS hope!

I have a 12 y.o. and a 3 y.o. I have always let both of them brush their teeth first, then its my turn. (Obviously, the 12 y.o. has been doing it himself for a very long time now.) Its a great time to sing and learn the alphabet or whatever songs they like. Singing silly is a great distraction for the kids. just make sure they don't swallow the toothpaste.
Tell her the truth too, if you don't brush you will get cavities.
Choices are great also. Just when she asks to do her favorite thing, say "not until I brush your teeth first". She will still have tantrums, just be strong, they can't hurt us, we're bigger than them:)
Good luck!

Our son did the same thing. We just kept telling him it has to be done whether he fights it or not and that it would be done a lot faster if he cooperated.

We also told him about the sugar bugs that could hurt his teeth and make them fall out so he wouldn't be able to chew. We would 'chase' the sugar bugs around his mouth and have him spit them out once we caught them and we would sing songs.

His favorite right now is that once he and his sister are done they will smile at us and we will cover our eyes and say "Your smile is too bright, I can't see they're so shiny, too bright, too bright!"

I just saw a commercial the other day about a rinse they swish around before brushing that makes their teeth blue and then they have to brush until all the blue is gone. We haven't used it yet, but have thought about trying it.

Hi E.
I also have had two Very strong willed three year olds and one thing that worked for us was telling them that we needed to brush all the sugar bugs away so they wouldn't eat there teeth and then we watched the grinch movie which happens to show him with bugs on his teeth. so I was able to make my point a little better. Good Luck T.

Ask if she has any monkeys in her teeth and then try to brush them out while making monkey noises. I know that really sounds crazy but it's worked for us.

HI E.,
I don't know if your daughter is in the copying stage or not, but I try to have my son brush his teeth when I brush mine and he thinks it's great. He even tries to spit when I do! After we are done we look at our teeth in the mirror and I have him show off his clean teeth to other people in the house too.

Some ideas would be to set a schedule for her where she brushes her teeth at the same time each day. Then, give her some warning that that time is approaching to prepare her. It could be that she just doesn't want to stop her current activity. Another thought is to have her start the brushing herself. We let my son do this. He mostly chews on the brush, but his dentist said that was better than nothing. After a few minutes, you take over. Worth a try!

Coming from a dental family (w/2 dental hygienists and a dentist) - fighting it probably will probably make the protest longer. As far as introducing the idea more - rewards are always great for kids - whether it be a sticker chart or another immediate reward - playing with a special toy after every cleaning. If you ask a dentist their ideas about it - they would have better advice. By 3 - they should at least be getting introduced to dental care at the dental office. My mom has "Freddy the dinosaur" that she brings out for the kids to play with and practice on. My daughter LOVES Freddy and has never had a problem. The only problem I ever had was having her let me have a turn with the brushing b/c I knew she wasn't brushing as well as I liked. She was Miss Independent. We read books together about teeth - Chippy goes to the Dentist is a great one that talks about Chippy having cavaties b/c he didn't brush his teeth and then developed a toothache. I have always found that books are a great tool to teach very important skills too. Books have helped us talk more about disobeying, having good manners, personal care skills, etc. Last thing that my dtr loved to use (for some reason) was the sand timer that my sister gave her to use when she brushed her teeth. This was a way for her to know HOW LONG to brush her teeth. It's also a great thing to have around when you start going through sharing wars with friends! Ha!

I feel for you. My two year old was the same way. All I can say is keep doing what you're doing. Eventually, your daughter will realize that her options are "be held down and forced to brush" or do it nicely and forego the pinning down method. I did this with my daughter (pinnned her down everytime because she would not open up any other way - she is extemely strong willed and absolutely did not want to brush her teeth). She still fought me when I pinned her down and forced her mouth open (think spitting, screaming, turning bright red, but after about a month of being pinned down everytime she realized she had a better option and started to open up. Now we have no problems. Didn't hurt to get her a toothbrush that played music either :-) Good luck. Hang in there! Sometimes they just need to be shown that they are not in charge - you are! Sounds a little brutal to pin down, but sometimes that's what it takes - she isn't being hurt and a little screaming now is better than big expensive painful dentist visits later!