Seeking Some Advice About My Toddler Who Makes Himself Throw Up

My oldest did that too at the same age. He still does it (he's 10 and autistic though but now uses the toilet). The way we solved it was to make him clean it up. If he's really sick (stomach virus) we wouldn't. Good Luck!

Hello,

My nephew and his wife went thru the same thing with their toddler daughter. She threw up when she was upset and mad. She would even get sick when they would go to someones house ( including mine), then for the rest of the visit she would be fine. She would also do this when her mom or dad left her with someone ( that she even knew). After about a year she has finally stopped doing this on her own and she is a happy well adjusted 5 year old. She goes off to preschool 3 days a week with a big smile on her face....

I didn't read the other responses, so sorry if I'm being repetitve. I have had a a few kids in my daycare go through this phase also. They all were seeking attention, wether it be negative or positive. It was their version of a tantrum. Sounds like your son does the same, and its good that you have stopped babying him when he does this. Here is what I do: When the child starts to throw the tantrum and get upset and I hear them or see them making that gagging sound to get themselves to throw up, I say "if you are going to throw up, you need to do it in the toilet", then I pick them up, bring them to the toilet and stand them in front of it. Then I say "let me know when you're done" and I leave the room. If they don't make it to the bathroom, I have them clean up the mess and help change their clothes. I give them the least amount of attention possible. If this still isn't curbing the behavior, when they throw up, I say "It loks like you aren't feeling well since you threw up, I guess the best thing for you to do is go lie down and rest, no playing when you're sick" They usually realize that throwing up gets them some nap time, not playtime, and not attention. Also once they realize that they will be brought to the toilet to vomit, they don't much like that either, especially when they don't have me as an audience. It may sound harsh, but anything else just keeps up the behavior. It will pass.

It's definitly behavorial...It stopped when I made them clean up their mess..I helped too.

First I don't have any experience with this behavior, however I have been taking this parenting tele-course and have a few thoughts. The course is about conscience parenting, raising a child to have self esteem and being aware of what we do as parents to create their belief systems. The biggest thing is to always ask what is my child going to conclude. Getting mad or ignoring the child after this type of behavior could lead them to beleive that, "I am not important", "Mom and dad don't care about me", "My feelings don't matter".

If the child is doing this because they are upset then there is a reason for this behavior. I am not suggesting you coddle them because that is negative attention = attention from mom and dad. What about working with him when he is upset if you can catch it before he throws up or after and say, "It seems like you are upset, are you angry? Are you sad?...etc. Validate his feelings, suggest feelings and try and get him to identify them. Ask him if he would like a hug or does he want to be held. Work on getting him to know that his feelings are ok but we are going to find other ways to express our anger. It is ok to be angry and you can tell mommy you are angry. Mom and dad love you and throwing up is not healthy for you, mom and dad want to help you find another way to express anger than throwing up. Maybe he is allowed to punch a pillow or something. Then he walks away from the situation knowing that mom and dad love him, his feelings matter and it is ok to be angry but we are going to express it in a healthy way.

I see that your husband travels LOTS for work. Is there any chance your son is calling out for attention from dad or feeling sad about that?

Hope that helps, not sure if it is the answer but it is what I would try if it was happening to me.

Good Luck!

My oldest son would do that in the carseat! He would actually stick his hand down his throat and throw up. I remember being horrified, seeing it was my first child. He did it probably a handful of times. He's now 15, straight A's, laid back, and well behaved!

My son is doing this but it's NOT a behavioral thing... he has just gotten over a cold & don't know if it's related. He had been coughing up phlegm w/ that and coughing so hard to the point of throwing up... and he still does it. When we went to the mall we had dinner & then went and played in playarea & did it again... same at dinner did it again :(

My son at a very young age (just a few months old) would throw up if he cried for more than 2 minutes. We of course would baby him. When he went to daycare, she just allowed him to throw up and would wash him up after his nap. It only took 2 times for him to throw up and he stopped doing over there. If your son is now 3. Maybe you can tell him if he throws up, he'll have to clean it up himself. It worked for my son who is now 4 and has a tendancey to wait the very last second to poop. If he had an accident in his pants, I would have him clean it out and again. It only took 2 times and he no longer has accidents.

Good luck.

My son is 4.5 and still does this occasionally, although I would say once a month at the most. We went through the same process as you--lots of attention and concern at first, but then when it seemed to be a pattern, we got kind of angry and now we are blase about it. It was really bad for a while where he was throwing up a few times a week and sometimes in the car! Huge mess.

Our sense is that he has a sensitive gag reflex and feels some relief after throwing up(and remembers the attention he used to get). Our son throws up if he gets too excited after running around or whatever or when he is very upset. We coach him to calm down, drink water, take deep breaths, etc. Oftentimes, if he starts coughing and it looks like he's going to throw up, I'll say, "if you throw up, you're going to bed!" or some other threat. It sounds harsh but it often works as he is motivated to calm down. Good luck!

It must be the age because my son, who will be 3 in March, is now fighting going to bed. He cries so hard and long that he ends up shaking head to toe. And won't go to sleep unless we lay down in his room.

He's never done the throwing up thing, but I do have a girlfriend whose nephew does that too. It's another way to get attention. I read somewhere online recently, a parent was having the same issue and they actually made the toddler help clean it up. Maybe that's something to try...this age is when they're exerting their independence and and if he's upset because you said "no" it's a way to fight it. He knows it got you mad (even if only once) so he's probably just doing it to get a reaction out of you. Nevertheless, I'd still ask the doctor just in case.

Good luck!!! I know I'm about at my wit's end with my almost 3 year old.

my daughter, who will be turning 8, use to do the same thing. not throw-up because she was upset but make herself. its just aweful and i thought i was the only one. there is really nothing that i found to work. my daughter is stubborn and head strong and always has been. its her way or the high way, in her mind. that was her way of staying up a little bit longer(in her eyes), or getting mommy/daddy not to leave the house on time. she did grow out of it within a few months but even now when she gets in one of her moods i can hear that she is inhaling funny and 'coughing' and clearing her throat...all signs of she is trying to make herself throw up. she hasnt in quite a long time tho. i think she started around 2 or 3 yrs old. it;ll be fine and will work itself out. good luck to you and merry christmas

My almost two year old has been doing this for awhile. You can actually see the process in her face. Initially my husband thought I was nuts and she was too young, but as time has gone by, my husband, the sitter, my mother and my mother-in-law have all seen it. Initially I would say "No" in a firm voice and she would stop. Then we moved to tap on the thigh ( not strike-before I get nasty emails). It was a touch to distract her from focusing on the process. We then moved on to a cool rag on her face, but each of these methods only worked for a short time. We are coming to a wall. We have tried the ignore process but it is difficult to do that when at others homes or in restaurants. So if anyone can send some advise my way please feel free. I agree its a tantrum. It's not medical. When she sees whatever someone else has and wants it and feels that she doesn't want to continue eating, whatever it may be(including something that may be her favorite) and I don't give it to her she throws up. It so frustrating. I thought she would out grow this since she started at around 6 months and she has been tested for everything, but now its just become almost predictable. We can't get mad or yell because my other daughter gets extremely upset if we do. So please please send me some advice. Thanks

My little guy does this when he is crying and is mad at us. We know it is coming, so we make him stand by the trash until he calms down. Now that we do not pay much attention to him throwing up, he is not doing it as much. It will pass. I just pay extra attention to the good behavior.

K.
My neighbors son did this also until he was about 6 he is now 9 1/2 he grew out of it. We all deal with being upset in our own way and once he realizes how gross throw is when he is upset then he will be able to change his behavior. I would have help you start to clean it up. Paper towels and a spray bottle with some cleaner in it. Good luck!

J. O

I'd almost forgotten about this phase in my oldest son's toddler years. He's almost 12 now, so I'm here to tell you that he will grow out of it! I used to do everything I could not to get him upset just to avoid him getting so worked up and throwing up. I don't remember when it stopped...but he definitely stopped by the time he went to Kindergarten. He is a Super Sensitive kid though even now he's easily driven to tears. Your baby just may be super emotional and that's just who he is.

All the best to you

I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter is now 11 yrs old and did the same thing for years. At age 2 I took her to the doctor complaining that something must be wrong because she is always throwing up. Never upset about it, just would start saying I dont feel good and she would then go in the bathroom and make her self get sick. No coughing, nothing needed just the thought. The doctor did do an ultrasound of the stomach and made sure it wasn't GERD. After that we figured out it was behavioral. "nervous stomach" is what they called it. The idea was to see a behaviorist to help her with this behavior. I'm a child therapist and did not think it was necessary. We did break of the habit with a lot of work. We encouraged he to find other ways to express herself when upset about not getting her way and for each day she did not froce herself we offered a star on a chart until she earned enough for the dollar store. The rewards were our way of showing her we were proud of the effort she was making and knew it was hard to stop. A behaviorist will help you with getting rid of the behavior too.

It has been years since she has done this but we do occassionaly see her fall back on this when emotions are really high. Again we can now talk to her about how bad this is for her and help to understand it doesn't solve anything.

I hope this helps.

R.

Hi K.,
I went through this too. My daughter kinda used it as a tantrum. She did it for a whole year id say in her two's. she is three now. She would get upset and say her tummy hurt and she was going to barf. some weeks it was every other day and some weeks nothing. She out grew it at least for now. She doesnt do it any more, so hopefully your son will too. We would just try to calm her down and tell her she wasnt going to throw up. Sometimes too i remember she just needed to burp, but i guess didnt know how, i would pat and rub her back like a baby. I did talk to our pediatrician as well he seemed to think it was just a tantrum but i would bring it up to yours as well never hurts. it really was frustrating and messy for sure. I hope this phase passes for you soon.

He'll outgrow this when he figures out that he's not going to get his way...no matter what he does. When he's hungry he can eat his next meal with yours or you can have a snack with him o he doesn't think he's still getting his way. Many children will do anything to get their way; to the point of cutting their hair off, putting their hand down their throat, kicking, biting, screaming, etc. Kids go to the extreme until they get what they want. You can't allow it to happen. Don't coddle him or clean him up right away. He did it to himself and should "live with it" temporarily. Also, try not to give him "over attention". He'll need to occupy some of time by himself then praise him for a job well done. You'll get through this like all the other tests the little one will give you thru life. Merry Christmas. mommy and many more.

I have no experience with this except I could see mine doing the same if she ever figured it out. If you can tell he is actively coughing it up and it isnt just happening because he is so distraught I would do a few things. First dont make a big deal out of it. second dont clean it up right away. Make it a tad unpleasant for your child to do this behavior. I dont mean make him sit in it for long, but just bring him to the bathroom and tell him you will help clean it up in a minute you are in the middle of something (sort of how potty trained children will regress and go in their pants and you wait to clean it up so they determine that just isnt a good idea anymore). Try to give the child as little attention as possible while cleaning it up and the mess up. Dont know if you are willing to do time outs?...Now if he is vomiting all on his own because he is that upset and not for the reaction then I think you need to make that clear to the doc and see what his opinion is, but i would thin that was a more serious issue and a child psychologist is needed for counsel. Good luck!