Seeking Moms with Add Kids

I belong to a playgroup we get together with and without kids this Sunday I am hosting a get together email me at ____@____.com for more information!!!
N.

I take this opportunity to warn everyone thinking about ADD medication: Please stay away from Adderall! It is highly addictive and ruins your life when the doses go up. It is a dangerous, mind-altering drug.

PLEASE try to work this without medication, even if it is ADD.

W.
(father of 8yo boy and ex-husband of an out-of-control ex-wife addicted to Adderall)

I would get her evaluated. Start first with your pedi and then get with a psychologist. Even if it is AD/HD you don't have to use medication if not really needed. Remember it is only a problem if it is interfering in her daily life. i.e. school, home...

Before you start thinking of ADD get her checked by her pedi. Have her vision checked and her tonsils and adenoids. There is much research to support that children with vision and/or sleep problems may mimic ADD symptoms. Vision = They can't see well and get bored easily as a result. Your school nurse can make an initial evaluation if you want. As for the tonsils and adenoids, they can cause children to not sleep well if they are enlarged. If your child snores, has frequent episodes of awakening or has other sleep disturbances, this can result in sleep deprivation. This in turn can lead to behavior problems as they use frantic activity to keep the brain alert during the day. You can also try an experiment. Give her a cold cup of coffee for a couple of days (feel free to doctor it up, run it through the blender with ice, a touch of sugar and cream, just get as much of a cup of coffee in her as possible, maybe on a weekend so you can measure the results). If this calms her down even a little you might have ADD to be concerned about. Keep in mind that this WILL NOT rule it out but if she calms down with the coffee you have a greater risk. You can also check into food connections. Dairy foods, dyes and artificial sweetners are HUGE ADD like behavior triggers. I have a website if you are interested. There are also books you can get on food allergies from the public library because latent food allergies can cause these types of behaviors.

Then, once you have exhausted all this there are other things you can try. Email me and I can give you info private if you want.

My daughter was diagnosed with ADD in Kindergarten. I don't know where you live, but I took my daughter to AR Children's Hospital for diagnosis. I tried counseling before taking her there and that didn't help - only cost me a lot of money. My daughter started out on Ritalin. It messed with her system too much and then she was put on Concerta. That medication has been a life saver! It is an extended release pill that she takes in the mornings before school and it lasts long enough for her to come home & get her homework done - so it helps her to stay focus on the tasks at hand. I was wary of giving it to her on the weekends, but ended up following my mother's advice and giving it to her (my brother was severly ADHD) and it makes the time I spend around her on the weekends (I work full time) much more enjoyable.
Okay, now that I rambled - my point is, take her somewhere for diagnosis. Call your pediatrician for a recommendation.

Good luck!
-L.

Hello A.,
I'm right there with you on the McDonalds thing, ha ha! Your five-year old and my five-year old would get along great. God gives you one of each, doesn't He? I discovered quite by accident that my little one cannot have food dye. Especially Red #40 or Yellow #5 or 6. Having eliminated these from his diet (along w/ caffeine) we have a different child. He's still active and curious, but calmer and more focused. Another thing I've tried is changing from low fiber, refined carbohydrates to whole grains. Whole grains, proteins and fats seem to slow the release of glucose so he doesn't get that sugar rush. (i.e. ONE cookie and a big glass of milk). In addition, when I spend time alone with him, he is as docile as a lamb. Chaotic and loud situations seem to bring out the absolute worst in him. I am homeschooling him presently and looking into alternate education. Also, my pediatrician gave us a referral to a play therapist. We just want to eliminate the possibility of any other problems we may not be addressing.

I do realize how busy you are and how little time you have to invest in all these extra activities. I have some people temporarily helping me while I get all this sorted out. I think it is well worth the time and effort because in the long run I'll be saving my sanity!

p.s. I think that not all children "fit the mold" and it's not necessarily a bad thing. He has forced me to think outside the box and discover that the road less traveled is a very interesting place. Blessings and best of luck to you.

Dear A.,

I'm sorry for your frustration! I encourage you to get a copy of 'Shepherding a Child's Heart' by Tedd Tripp. That book changed our family so much for the better! I've read other 'discipline' books, but this one went so much deeper - to the 'heart.' Also, I encourage you to log on to www.AboveRubies.org and click "How to Subscribe" to start getting a free subscription to their magazine. It is a very encouraging magazine which helps support mothers. I pray that you receive the support you need!

Blessings,
R.

Supporting you as you nurture your family.
www.NurturedFamily.com

There is a great book called "Raising your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinko, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. They also have a workbook- you can find it at barnes and noble maybe half price books. I found this book to bring some peace in our home when my children were that age. We had similar issues. I was reading your "a little about me" if you really looking for something for you- I work from home and it has been such a blessing. I would be happy to share with you what I do. You can email me at ____@____.com
Blessings, C.

My 5 year old isn't doing well in school either. I have three children as well and life isn't definetly hectic. I don't have any advice on the add thing but I can tell you that I wait tables in the evening at Buca Di Beppo and it helps a great deal. My husband watches the kids while I work and I make pretty good money. (better than mcdonalds)!!! anyway, just wanted to throw that out there...we also pay our hosts pretty good (about $10 an hour)...hang in there...if you don't get a job, then plan a night out with a friend once in a while...it does help...good luck
T.

A.,
I totally feel your pain about needing to get away. I pride myself on being a SAHM, but sometimes the rewards are unseen and we feel underappreciated. It can lead to depression and feelings of worthlessness. I know you must already know this, but you are priceless to your family and you are doing the greatest thing you can do for them! Some things that really help me are: Mom's night out, pedicures or massages, if you can afford it. Just an hour or two away can help me gain perspective and a fresh outlook on the kids.
As for your 5 year old, I wish I had some magic words for you. I personally think kids are over diagnosed and therefore, needlessly medicated. I have a very very high maintenance 6 year old, and sometimes I'd love to medicate him, but one of the things that is wonderful about him is his personality. I would hate to dampen or alter it. It's what makes him him. I just push through with discipline. Different things for different times, or even moods. Sometimes it's a spanking, sometimes it time-out or grounding from a favorite toy, or taking away sweets. I also explain why I'm doing what I'm doing and that it because of HIS actions that he is recieving this discipline. If your child can truly comprehend this, maybe this will help. I'll say a prayer for you and know I truly understand.
Sincerely,
J., SAHM of three boys, ages 6, 4, 13 mos

Hi, my name is J. Boster. I know what you are going through. I have 2 boys. My youngest is calm, but my oldest has ALWAYS been extra hyper. I had my son put on adderall, and you know what it really did help. His grades went up, and his teachers were able to see a major difference. I really feel that sometimes you have to help your child get a one up in school and in life.It also made life at home easier, but i really feel you need to get the advice from oithers,too. Oh, I'm a stay-at-home mom,too. Well, I hope everything works out for you!

Hello A.,
I have gone through alot with my little boy. Last year when he was in kindergarten he had to see the diciplinary councelor and then a couple of weeks later he had to go to the pricipal's office. At home he gives me a hard time. This summer I have come to the conclusion not to tell him "NO" anymore. He ask me something looking for my approval knowing I will not approve, so I let him know that I don't approve and that I don't believe it's a good idea for him to do certain things and then I let him know why. He continues to ask me and outright tell me he's going to do it anyway. I respond to him by asking him why did he even bother asking me in the first place, he's going to do what he wants any way so he might as well just do it anyway. (I only do this with minor things, things that he can't hurt him self to much with.) Usually he ends up doing what he wants and learns a lesson from it and why I didn't want him to do it in the first place. Your child sees you are busy and it looks fun to her. She needs you to constantly give her something to do. Print out some papers and give her a highlighter let her go through and highlight the words she knows, print out something that she can do that she will think she is helping you. My son's job is to unload all of the silverware from the dishwasher, what ever I need or can make up that I need at the time to make him a part of what I am doing, and keep him busy.
As far as school my little boy has the same problem. This year he has been comming home with bad conduct and school has only been in for two weeks. He learned every thing last year that he is working on in class. He outright came home and said he didn't want to go back to school because he was bored. Bored = bouncing off of the walls. Talk to the teacher espically if your child is bored because she already knows the material. Have your little girl tested then maybe the teacher can give her something a little more challenging. Let the teacher know your child needs the attention, maybe she can tell your daughter she needs her to pay attention to what she is saying because she needs to remind the teacher about it later, because it's very important. Maybe the teacher would be willing to tell her she needs your daughter to complete these papers because they are important and she will need them later on for something else.
I hope this might help you some:)
J.
____@____.com

i have no idea. my oldest who is 3 and my stepson, is off the walls hyper. i dont know how to help you. but i so understand about the feeling of wanting to contibute more than you do. or the need to feel you are doing more. we never give ourselves enough credit.

I have a 13 year old son who is ADHD, the only thing we could do was put him on medication to calm him down, and i don't like my kids on medicine, but it works and he has a B average in school, lots of friends, plays sports, and all he does is take one pill a day

I have a similar situation with my daughter (she just turned six last week.) She is extremely hyperactive and can't control it. Not that she doesn't try. She tries so hard that she will break down into tears b/c she just doesn't know why she can't calm down and realize what she is doing until after she does it.
I refuse to put her on medication b/c she isn't necessarily ADD or ADHD, she is just hyperactive. I work at a child care center that has a therapy center for disabled children. I had her evaluated and they found that she isn't ADD or ADHD. She is hyperactive but not do to a disorder. She simply has a hard time interpretting her environment. They recomended ocupational therapy. This will teach her how to better handle her situation. She has only had one session but loves it b/c it makes her feel better about herself. I know the therapists personally and know that they know what they are talking about.

I don't know that it would be the same in your situation but having her evaluated is free and it wouldn't hurt. I would advise doing this before you put her on any meds. It may not help but it may make all the difference in the world.

A.

I want to note that by therapy I am NOT referring to a psychologist. This is a Ocupational Therapist. They work with fine motor skills and sensory dificulties. These two things are usually major contributers to hyperactivity.

Get the book setting limits for your strong willed child. It'll help you.

Believe it or not caffiene can be the answer. My youngest is borderline ADD but I refused to use ritalin on him so the PED said to try him on one cup of black coffee in the morning. It was amazing. Within a week he was paying better attention in school and being less of a handful at home. That was 11 years ago and it still works for him to this day. If he gets fidgetty in the afternoon he has a second cup and it helps him to focus to finish homework.

Good Luck

If you find out what to do PLEASE tell me. I have a 3 year old that thinks he can tell me what to do and pull on me when I try to type something or just anything I try to do he thinks he needs to be right there and doing it to. time out works for about a minet. Like I said he is only 3 and I don't think they will do a add test on a 3 year old. My 14 year old daughter has adhd and is on med.'s for it. I stay at home with my 3 year old and my daughter lives with her dad. I can't ceem to get the texas atturney Gen. office to send me any child support to help. I can't work at Mc D.'s if I wanted to I have no one to keep my son. I could go on I just wanted you to know I understand what your going through. My name is S. my e-mail address is ____@____.com