Seeking Moms' with ADHD Child

Please don't be so quick to self diagnose your son with something that will stay with him the rest of his life.
My son showed "signs" of ADHD too and of all sorts of other things if I looked for it (and at one time many years ago, I did). I thought my friends son at age 4 was ADHD too. Neither of them were. They were just boys and they were actually age appropriate behaviors.
I'm sure you've been pulling your hair out because he likes to play rough, he's mouthy and maybe talking back to you already. You've probably googled symptoms or signs of ADHD, maybe even Autism too. It is so easy for us to look for a problem with the internet so readily at hand. I've done it as I'm sure most of us have. Even when my daughter was a newborn, she sneezed and I immediately googled "newborn sneezing". We worry about our kids as mother's only do and we want to do what's best for them.
Just now when I googled "boys development behavior" I got this http://www.brainy-child.com/article/boys-behavior.shtml
I highly suggest you read it.
With my son, my ex's new wife pushed, when he was age 9 to have him tested. She had only known him for about 3 months and this was the precurser to a custody case. She was convinced he had ADHD. She had two children who had been diagnosed at an early age with Aspergers. My son was tested and he was and is fine. So she changed her "diagnosis" to "oppositional defiance disorder". When he was tested for the Gifted and Talented program the following year, I was a little surprised that in the flyer they sent home about recognizing gifted children, that a lot of the same "ADHD" warning signs were also signs of high intelligence in children. At this point, I just new my son was a boy. :)
As a mother of a boy and having known so many boys now through my various activities in school, Scouts and church, I've seen that boys are definitely more hyper, more agressive and after doing a lot of my own research (yes I google too!) I'm more convinced than ever that we are over medicating our boys. I might be wrong, I'm definitely not a doctor but a lot of professionals have the same opinion.

I suggest you talk to your pediatrician about his development and especially that you also look into some of the following books.
The War Against Boys - You can read the first chapter here http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/s/sommers-war.html

And Raising Confident Boys: 100 Tips for Parents and Teachers- You can read part of that book here http://books.google.com/books?id=MhvK3ZZO3W4C&dq=rais...

I've learned to celebrate my son for the boy that he is and as he starts to grow into a young man, he excels in school, he's involved in various musical programs in and out of school. He's not extremely social but he has a few extremely close friends. He's confident about who he is and he has definite goals about where's he's going.

Anyhow, I hope I've helped you in some way and good luck to you. :)

Hi M.,
I have been a teacher (grades 1-6)for the past 17 years and in the past two years I made a career change so that I could work with my nutritionist.

Tamara is my nutritionist and she has worked with a lot of children with ADD/ADHD. She always suggests a good probiotic and a high dosage of Omega 3 Oil. If you would like more information about her services her website is www.athealth.biz. We also just went to a workshop by Dr. Brian Stenzler from DREAM wellness who showed the changes in an ADHD child's nerve scan before and after a chiropractic adjustment. He also does free nerve scans and works with many children. His website is www.dreamwellness.com.

As a teacher, I found that consistency is KEY! Set expectations and follow through! Make sure you focus on what he is doing right rather than what he is getting wrong, he will associate your praise (the attention he is seeking) with the correct behaviors. I know it sounds easier said than done but your child will start to see that he knows how to behave. I have had very aggressive and hyper children make a full turn around with the right support. For example, I would usually have a private conversation before doing something that I knew they might need some support getting through without incident. If we had a group activity and I needed a child to raise their hand before speaking, I would first tap into what they already know..."do you think it is okay for people to shout out when someone else is talking? Why do you think that? I have a favor to ask. Can you be the role model for everyone else today and show them how NOT to shout out...after a while I would ask a simple question to get them to think about their actions so they could make the right internal decision such as "Are you doing the right thing?" This approach allows them to make needed adjustments and receive praise for making the right choice without getting "in trouble".

I hope I don't appear angry or critical here M.,but What did parents do back in the fifties or sixties,when they had children that appeared to active or had problems concentrating? I guess we must have millions of people in their 50s and sixties running amok with ADHD! These pharmacutical companies must be drewling at the mouths! Every time a parent has an issue with a child,that is over active,or has problems concentrating,they run to the Dr. and he prescribes Meds. So great... now Jimmy is all meek and mild...As a Matter of fact,all he does is sit and draw now. mom and dad won't have to deal with any issues any more. Frankly, I believe it would be more adventageous to put the parents on the meds.Then they could better cope with their active children.My grandson,was having problems concentrating in school,and was acting quite sarcastic towards his parents, and they took him to the Dr. where he was diagnosed with ADHD. What the parents neglected to tell the DR was....The boy, was feeling neglected,,because his parents had split up, and abandoned because his mom had moved out and left the kids with their dad.How often do you think this occurs? Where kids are mis -diagnosed,and put on meds. Many kids, have real issues...real problems just like you and I. I so recent,adults, that refuse to admit,that they may be the root of the problem,or that they need to take the time to attempt to resolve insecurities their child may be experiencing. I find it hard to believe,that anyone could be that proud,selfish, or uncaring as to put their child through that. How long are they on the meds?indefinetly? If and when they go off...How do they adapt? Do they ultimately become dependant on those drugs?I would guess,as they get older,They may feel they can't function without meds. What are parents doing? I'm not suggesting you are one of these parents M., but before you take your child for testing, You really should take a step back and look at the entire picture. The best of luck to you and your son

Like one of the other ladies said, llok for envirnonmental factors first. I'm an expectant mom who was diagnosed. If you can avoid meds do it for your son's sake. If you grow up with those pills you don't function well without them when you're an adult.

Structure helps a ton, as does love and patience. If he's trying to learn something new then it's probably frustration over an inability to be able to do whatever it is. Also try to get him to exercise. It will make him feel better, and it can let out a lot of the frustration that they're feeling. Also there are a lot of nasty side effects with the pills you're talking about, so you have to be soooo careful with them. If you want more info feel free to email me, I'm happy to help any way I can.

R.

I have a son, who is now 18 years of age. I too noticed signs of ADHD early on but never got him tested because I was in denial and because of the way other parents look down on you for placing a hyperactive child on meds. After years of struggling we finally got him tested at 12 years of age and decided to put him on meds (we already did the diet change and behavior modification but it just wasn't enough)...what a difference a drug can make. He was able to sit down and focus on homework without getting up a million times, and his grades became A's and B's. I am pro-medication, behavior modification, consistency, and diet changes because ADHD is an ACTUAL disorder, a chemical imbalance...it needs to be treated for the sake of the child. So please, for your child's sake get him tested so you can help him develop a sense of normalcy. Forget the negativity of the other moms, until they have a child with ADHD they can not possibly know how difficult it is for you and your child. Good Luck.

I work for a wellness company that can help out tremendously with ADD & ADHD! Most ailements today are because of chemicals in your household products, and simply converting your home to natural chemical-free things can help tremendously! It has been proven by many other moms, let me know if you would like more info., and we can set up a time to talk.

Amberly

Hi M.,

My 8 year-old daughter was tested and diagnosed with ADHD at age 5. We have a fantastic doctor, and discussed several forms of therapy/treatment (i.e. dietary changes, behavior modification) in the very beginning, because my husband and I were initially opposed to medication. However, the way our doctor explained it to us was in this way. Behavior modification is rarely effective for ADHD kids, because they simply can't sit still long enough for them to learn the modification techniques. A healthier diet, free of wheat, preservatives and sugar is good FOR ANYONE and will help a plethora of ailments, but it's a treatment, as much as it's a supplement to an effective treatment program. Plus, ADHD is a bona fide chemical imbalance, and a carefully chosen "cocktail" of medication is not used to make your child "behave" but rather to give them a normal life, much in the same way you would treat an adult with bipolar disorder or manic depression. After hearing this, we chose to offer our daughter a shot at normalcy, and decided on medication therapy. My angel has been on a monitored regimen (during the school days only) since she was 5-1/2, and I can't tell you the difference it has made in her life. She simply would not be able to handle academic and social situations without her meds on board. We choose to break from the meds on the weekends and whenever she has school holidays, but I will be the first to tell you, it's a struggle.
Hope this helps, and good luck with your son :)
N.