What would you do if at a sporting event two teenagers were making out in front of your seven year old. Would you ask them to stop? Ask them to move to another seat? Speak with the mother about the issue? Or say nothing and relocate yourself? I recently found myself in this situation and it was awkward! We asked the kids to stop, which they didn't, spoke to the mom (she got defensive and took the teenagers side instead of asking them to stop) and finally we just moved to another set of seats. Am I the only mom left on the planet that thinks making out in public is not appropriate? I mean get a room already!
I would have said something to the kids & then moved, at least my kids would know it's not acceptable, and maybe the teenagers would think about it - one can always hope!
J.! Be encouraged! you definately did the right thing! Try to talk about the situation with your son so he will know how to respond to situations like that in the future. I would encourage him to discern the difference between respect for women and behaving in an out of control fashion with raging teen hormones and no boundaries. I would absolutely be angry but most importantly - help your son to process this situation appropriately. I have a teen age son (14) and I also try to help him to think out consequenses to rash and out of control behavior. C. H (mom of 5)
I would not ask them to stop. If you think it is inappropriate, relocate yourself. IF you are uncomfortable and your kids are asking questions treat it as a teaching situation.
J.,
I would have asked them to stop or move. The mom was wrong letting them be totally inappropriate in public. It would not bother me if it was a peck or a quick kiss. But not making out!! Nothing splits two people up like a nice cold glass of water on them, accidentally of coarse!
D.!!
pda can be so ughh!!!!!!! there really is nothing you really can do about it though theres no law, if your uncomfortable just move these are teenagers were talking about(remember we were there once) not saying you did this kind of stuff no i don't mean that at all. it's just that teenagers these days move so fast w/each other and everything in between. from now on , no sense in politely asking just move or avert your kids eyes. as far as the mom goes every mom is gonna side w/the kid regardless of what there doing not all of us though.
Given that the teens weren't feeling awkward about doing it in front of the mom, and that the mom thought it was okay, I think it was a losing battle for you. If they didn't respond to one polite request to not do it in front of your children, you had no option but to move. If it was a situation where you paid for the particular seats (like a theater), then you would have to complain to an usher or manager, who could remove them from the area if they wouldn't stop. Otherwise, moving is your best option. I would explain to my kids that those teens obviously don't respect each other enough to keep private/personal things private. Hopefully, if the teens keep doing this and others keep complaining or moving, they will ultimately get the idea. Defensive as they may seem, they may get the message later, or the novelty will wear off, or they will be like most teens and break up soon! Eventually their reputations will take a hit, and that might be worth mentioning to your own kids, especially the 12 year old.
You are definately NOT the only mom who thinks this is inappropriate! Yes, its a free country, but I think we should be teaching our children self-respect and respect for others. It still amazes me that a teen would ignore your request to stop and even more so that a mother would defend that. Obviously, moving is the best option if it doesn't stop, but I'm really concerned that more and more parents are teaching disrepect for adults with an attitude like you're saying this mother displayed. What will that teen do when confronted by employers or just anyone? My husband is a teacher and sees this again and again (disregard for adults;no respect) with really poor results.
Hi J.,
You are definitely not the only mom who feels that this behavior is inappropriate. It is difficult to discipline or reprimand someone else's child when his/her parent has co-signed on the bad behavior. As the mother of a 15 yr old, 5 yr old and 3 yr old, I would certainly have suggested that they not engage in such in front of my younger children. But more than that I'd want these teenagers (especially if these are children with whom I have a relationship through their parents) to understand that they should display a higher level of respect for themselves and for each other. While I'm not an advocate of teenagers becoming too intimate, period, whatever intimacy they share should be between the two of them and not on display for all to see. Too often we respond to our children as if they are adults and they're not. If my husband and I don't go around making out in public, I certainly won't tolerate my 15 yr old doing so. We need to get back to treating children like children.
It sounds like you did what I would have done. I have a line I use for these occasions which at least stops the kids enough to make them figure it out... Hey., Leave some room for the Holy Spirit!" Even if you personally are not religious.. it makes kids stop to think.
It is peculiar how the mom stuck up for them.
J.
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I would have moved too, but only after giving some awkward looks to them & clearing my throat a little loudly so that they could hear. I would have also exchanged some 'that's gross' looks with my 11 & 8 year olds if they had seen it. I hope my kids have some respect for themselves & others & don't do that in public, the mom you talked to should have said something to them - wait a minute, why were they making out in front of the mother?? That is the bigger issue. Strange. Sorry that happened to you.
I would just move seats if my KIDS found it inappropriate. But I am raising my kids to be more open-minded about such things so we may never encounter this situation.
You can't control what other people do in public. Public displays of affection are not illegal so there is nothing you can do. You can't enforce your personal sense of morality on other people. I actually agree with the mom getting defensive, because its not your job to tell them to stop kissing. I would get offended too, because you are basically saying their parenting style is inferior to yours so you, in feeling you know whats right for someone elses child, must step in and parent her child. Wouldn't you get defensive if someone tried to tell you how to raise your kids?
Good going, J.!
You did the right thing. It's a teaching opportunity. You tell your sons that their behavior was inappropriate and that behavior is not tolerated in your family.
By the way, there's a new book out that you may be interested in:
http://www.bringingupgeeks.com/
Bringing up Genuine Enthusiastic Empowered Kids
: ) Maureen
I'm not a big fan of making out in public either, but it's a free country. If it offended you, I would have moved, like you did. It's kind of like sitting in an area where smoking is allowed (but not necessarily PC) and if it bothers you, move. You may have to deal with questions from your son, but that will happen no matter where you go or what he sees!!
