Seeking Mom's of Older Childrens Opinions or Ideas

I had the same problem with my oldest son, now 25. The one thing that I found that worked for him was going to a chirpractor that will work with children, not just one that "pops and runs". We had tried the no water after 6pm, no sugar after 4, watched the rest of his diet, even the alrams you can get. After he started doing better at night, he became more outgoing, started asking his friends to come stay at his house. I was also a single mother at the time and, personally, I think stress from the divorce was also a big issue. Good luck.

ask you doctor about the alarm. it is awesome and works. my was pretty old too. I thought we were never going to get there.

S.,
My sister in law has a son the same age and he is a very heavy sleeper at night and constantly wets the bed. She did some kind of an alarm, that the dr. gave her, that would wake him up so he could use the bathroom. He is finally dry at night now and she is very excited about it.
Lori

Thank god my kids did not inherit this from me! I did this up until i was almost 10. Only at night. NOTHING my parents did made a difference, and apparently I grew out of it because I just quit doing it all of a sudden. My mother who was an RN, was relieved to say the least. LOL

I have a friend who said he did this up until he hit puberty at 12, and then it stopped.
I have another friend who said his folkes took him to a chiropractor and the doctor did an adjustment on him and he quit wetting the bed.

I'm not sure what causes it to stop, but whatever you do, be encouraging because it is humiliating and embarrassing, maybe talk to your doctor to see if there have been any breakthrough treatments for this problem.

Hi - I'm a full-time mom with a daughter who wet the bed until she was 7. I'm also a former family physician. What worked for my daughter, and what I believe is the safest, best-studied remedy around is a bedwetting alarm. We used a Malem Ultimate alarm - I like it because it's small, attaches to their shoulder area with a cord down to the undies, goes off with the FIRST drops of urine, requires a two-step process to turn off (to help them wake up more fully), and has several different sounds as well as vibration option, so they don't just get used to one sound and start sleeping through it. We also used a book called "Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness," which had very good review, and I found most helpful. We got our alarm at bedwettingstopped.com, and dealt with Dennis Mulvey. He was SO helpful, and they actually have a buy-back program where you can send in your alarm when you're done (even several years and several kids later) for a 50% return of your purchase price! I'll send you a message w/ my e-mail in case you have particular questions, I'd be happy to try to help. Good luck, and please let me know how he does!

My daughter is 6.5 yrs old and still wears "GoodNights" to bed. She suddenly began wetting the bed at night just after she turned 4. (She was pretty much potty-trained around 2.5 years.) According to my MIL - my SIL did the same thing and it lasted until she was 10 or 11 - despite the mattress pad alarms, etc.

I've explained it to my daughter as 1) It's heriditary and 2) it is normal. Some peoples bodies grow faster than their bladders/ureters can keep up with. So far *knock wood* she doesn't feel embarrassed to spend the night with friends. (I think she'd be more embarrassed if she wet the bed at a friends!)

As long as the doctor is unconcerned - comfort your son with the knowledge that "this, too, shall pass." Also - Goodnights now comes in a "short" that doesn't quite resemble a "pull-up".

Good Luck!

We had a terrible time with our oldest. I refused to use chemicals to help her at night. So I took her to the Chiropractor. There was a nerve that was being pinched off that was to signal her brain at night to go. In a few visits things were much better and only an every now and then deal.
Good luck.

S.,

I know it is frustrating and heartbreaking for you and your son. It is, however, "normal" for some kids to continue having accidents at night. For some reason, boys tend to have more of a problem with this than girls. My nephew wet the bed until he was 14. His father and mother did this as well. My sister tried him in those waterproof undies, but he felt like they were diapers. As far as his friends, my sister spoke to each of his closest friend's moms and explained the situation. The moms were then able to sit down and explain it to his friends, and there was never an issue. If he had an accident, the mom would change his sheets and let him bathe long before the friend would wake up. This might be a way around letting him stay with friend. There are meds out there, but my nephew did not like them. This is a hurry up and wait game. Good luck to you.

I have the same problem with my just turned 9yr old!!! He is so embarrassed also. My son is tall for his age. He wears pull ups at night and still leaks some too. I told him he will grow out of it. (from what I have heard!) We are just waiting and waiting. I think he is sleeping to hard and not waking up. People have told me about an alarm you can purchase that hooks up to them, but I am waiting it out a while longer. Just wanted to let you know your not a lone! Let me know if you hear anything that works!!!
J.

S., my son was still having accidents every so often at night when he was 12! He is such a heavy sleeper and I think that was part of it. We just made sure he didn't drink much at night. He is now 14 and it's not a problem at all. He, too, was so scared to sleep at other kids' houses. Just be sure to not make a big deal about it if it happens and let him know that it's normal. Because it is. I've talked to a lot of moms (friends of mine) whose boys wet the bed at night even when they were older. Some boys do, some boys don't. (Not sure why it's a boy thing, but it seems to be). I know there is some kind of nose spray the doctor can give you if it's really a problem. Or maybe you can get it just for when he sleeps over somewhere. He will grow out of it though :)

I have 7 children, the oldest is 10 and she is the only one that has had this problem. After talking to our doctor, she suggested desmospressin...after researching it on the internet we decided to give it a try. It has worked and she hasn't had to take the medication in the last 6 months. It has been wonderful, now and while she was on the medication she was able to enjoy sleepovers, church camp...etc. I also didn't know that all my husband's female relatives experience this till about 12 years of age. I was concerned about putting my daughter on medication, however it was the best choice for us. She was embarrased about this however now shares her story with others so they know they are not alone and it really is a common thing. Good luck!

I just wanted to put in a small Thank You to everyone that has posted. My sister is having the same trouble with my niece. She is 6 yrs old and has also tried the "no water", and meds to help with this with nothing... I am not a mom yet (we are trying right now) and this advice is great! I can't wait to share some of this with my sister to help reassure her as well as my niece! I'm so glad my co-worker introduced me to this site!

As a bedwetter til I was 13, let me tell you it is no fun. The worst is like you said, slumber parties. I just didn't stay over except with my two or three very best friends who knew about it which was hard. My parents tried everything - medications, no liquids, a sheet that buzzed at the first drop to wake me up, getting me up on their own every couple of hours to go the bathroom, etc. It was embarrassing and difficult, but my parents were never judgmental, always supportive, even though I'm sure it must have been frustrating. As I got older, I was in charge of changing my sheets every morning. It is heriditary although the age at which you outgrow it varies. I think my dad outgrew it when he was around 10. I think part of it for me was getting into middle school and no longer having time to use the bathroom during the day, just at lunch. Not that that's good for kids' bladders, but it's just the way life is. I ended up with a bladder of steel! :) Good luck! Just keep being supportive!

I have an 8 year old daughter with the same problem. We too have talked to our dr. and he isn't concerned. She has never been able to stay dry at night. He told us their is something our brain releases that slow our kidneys down at night and sometimes it just hasn't caught up with the child. Their is medication that he has talked to us about that would stimulate her kidneys to slow down but we are just playing the waiting game to see if she will mature on her own. There is also a pee alarm that he suggested called Starry which beeps when their underwear start to get damp to wake them up. I think it is more common then you think. We know quite a few children still wearing Goodnights at 8 and 9.

J.(mother of three,11yr old son and 8 year old boy/girl twins)

I am the mother of four boys (three of which have been or are night bedwetters). It is true that they will outgrow it, but it can be a difficult wait. My eldest was eleven before he stayed dry on a regular basis. We used Good Nights brand night pants and encouraged him to change into pajamas in a bathroom at a sleepover to avoid any embarrassment. Be patient, be supportive, and realize that time will fix the problem. It is painful to watch your child go through such an "embarrassing" problem, but with your love and support, the child will realize it is not his fault and that sooner or later his bladder will catch up with the development of the rest of his body. Good luck! I sympathize with you and your child. From a Mom whose is in your situation too! Kati

Hi there,

I feel both of your pain. My daughter had the same issue. We tried everything, limits of liquid, wake ups in the middle of the night, etc... and we were frustrated.

My Doctor had recommended a drug called DDAVP. I hesitated and said I did not want to use it. About a year later my daughter ( first grader then) heard the Doctor talk about the drug and asked if she could finally try it. After much thought and another trip to the Doctor to talk about it, I finally decided to try it. It WORKED.

After about 2-3 months on it, we started lowering the dose and tapered off in about 4-5 months, she was completely off the drug. We had only one or two accidents at the beginning when we were still adjusting the dosage. Now a little over a year later. No accidents and she even takes water to bed at night to drink.

Good luck

S.,
You have plenty of advice, so I will keep this short.
Both my boys had bedwetting problems up through 12 and 13. It is difficult, but we just treated it as matter-of-fact as possible. They would help strip the bed, put them in the washer, help make the bed again. And now they are fine, so this is normal. The only other suggestion would be to try to make sure they get plenty of rest. :-)
God Bless,
D. SAHM of two boys - 17 and 14, one girl - 9

I know this may seem far fetched, however I had a friend that was having this very issue with her child. Someone recommended taking the child to a chiropractor. The chiro said that sometimes a hard fall can cause this or a hard hit in sports, they adjusted the child a couple of times and the bedwetting stopped. It's worth a try. Good luck!

Is it possible he grew faster than his bladder? This happened to my daughter's friend and she was in depends until age 12 and then her bladder finally caught up. She was embarrassed but she told her good friends the truth and they never made fun of her. The bladder size was confirmed by a cat scan.

Good luck,
D.

I read an article once, years ago, about this problem and was surprised by the answer, for awhile. Then it made sense. If you are limiting the liquids and having your son use the bathroom often, you are actually DECREASING his bladder capacity and NOT developing the muscles he needs to "hold it". The article suggested giving the child a certain amount of liquid and having him hold it as long as he could stand it. Then, when he urinated, they actually measured his output. The goal was to work on his bladder holding more and more liquid for longer and longer periods of time. Measuring it showed the boy his progress. Eventually, he may make it throught the night. It may be worth a try.

I have an older son, now 16, who at the age of your boy and up to about 7th grade, continued with the same problem. It is hereditary; same thing went on for my husband. My son wet his bed 3-4 times a week, but it only happened once at a sleepover in all the years I can remember, and he went on a lot of sleepovers. It seems that they do their best to make sure it doesn't happen when they are away.

My son is a very sound sleeper and we found that to be much of the problem. At overnights, as he got older, he was able to drink less, and sleep less. I'm not sure he got into the same deep sleep as if he were home.

There are several gadgets on the market that are a type of monitor they wear at night that helps wake them when they have the urge to wet. Ask the Dr. about that. We never used it but I know another mother who swore by it for her child.

Your son will grow out of it and the sleepovers tend to not be a big problem as they are older. I always mentioned it to the mother to help watch his liquid intake while he was with them. They were always understanding. I hope this helps you and your son.

I am curently traveling the same boat you are, kind of. I have a 12 year old step son, 13 in June, he still wets the bed almost every night. The doctor said some kids are just like that. He is lazy though and throws his sheets in the closet or under his bed. The smell is something you only imagine. I also have an 8 year old son of my own which also has the problem. Nothing like the 12 year old. My son's problem is due to cronic constapation. He actually gets a stool back up so bad, it will push on his bladder at night. He is on a prescription laxative, but sometimes he still backs up. It pushes on nerves in the bladder and causes numbness as strange as that may sound. I understand your frustration though because of the age. I just go with it though and don't listen to negitive comments from others. Good Luck though, I hope this helped you, if not answered your questions at least helped oyu understand your not alone.

S., Check out Dri-Sleeper at dri-sleeper.com. I was a bedwetter and did not believe anything like this would work. I now think this little device is magic!!!! Our 9 year old has had only one accident in a year!

Good Luck, M.

Hi S., I ahve four children and one son just turned 10. He has had the same problem all his life. My husband also had bed wetting issues as a child. He did not out grow it until 11-12 years of age. The Dr's had told my Mother-in-Law his bladder was just small and would eventually grow to fit his body. We have gotten the same thing with our son. SO....just reassure your shild and do what you are doing. It is hard on boys I know. When sleeping over we make sure we pack our own sleeping bag and extra clothes and he has learnt to take care of it if it happens secretly, enless he needs to let the parent know because the mess is too much. I always tell parents anyway out of ear shot. You would be amazed how many this really happens to! Good luck!! And just wait it out!

We had the same problem with our daughter (now 24). It was really hard and embarassing for her. Our Doctor finally had her use a nose spray that "thickened" the urine every night for probably a year. It took care of the problem. I don't know if the drug is still used or how you feel about using meds but it did make a HUGE difference in how she felt about herself. The drug was called DDAVP. Good luck, Pam L.

The name of the alarm is called "Pacific International" you can buy it at Kilgore's or other Pharmacies. I used to wet the bed and it worked for me. My mom tried the pills and everything else. Please try the alarm first before medicating your child!

My mother in law recently told me that my husband used to have that problem when he was that age. She said that he had some kind of nose spray that worked. Your doctor would probably know what it is. (But that was over 20 years ago so the products may have changed).

I would try chiropractic. A simple adjustment helps the nervous system get messages from the brain to the bladder and vice versa. If there is a problem at the third lumbar vertebra in the low back, those messages can get interrupted or distorted and bedwetting can be a symptom of this. Our kids get adjusted regularly and really benefit.

For our son it is a symptom of a food sensitivity - specifically high fructose corn syrup. He is also nine and if he has anything with HFCS in it we can guarantee an accident that night.

For some ridiculous reason corn is not recognized as a major allergen so we have to be pretty vigilant (for example Wendy's Chili contains HFCS) but it is worth it for him not to have the accidents.

My daughter (Eve) used to do that but I learned from a friend that it works to put an alarm clock in their room and wake them up once at night to go to the restroom. It also works to give them a prize every week they go without wetting the bed for a month or two It worked for me.

Two of my boy's and my ex wet the bed until they were 13. They just had to out grow it. On the other hand my grandson with the same problem did the alarm system and that worked. Go on line and look for bed wetting alarm systems. My daughter bought one that clips on to the underwear and sounds off if there is any wetness. It took about 6 weeks but he stopped wetting the bed. He was 6 years old at the time.
D.-mom 0f 9

My 5 year old was having the same problem--fine during the day but accidents at night. To fix this, we got into the habit of waking him up right before WE go to bed (around 11:00 p.m.) and having him go to the bathroom. We did this every night for about 2 months and he's accident-free now. I don't know exactly why this works but my mom told me about it and it worked for us. My brother used the same technique with his 6-year old son and it worked for him, too.

Anyway, my son now wakes up and takes himself to the bathroom if he needs to go.

Good luck!

Hi S., I have two sons 27 and 25. Our younger son potty trained at a early age and was fine until he was about 4 when he would have accidents at night or sometimes when he napped. We went through all of the medical reasons and tried medication but nothing really worked. He also didn't want to spend the night with friends because of the embarrasement. It was finally when he was about 7 that I read a advertisement in the Sunday newspaper from Suzanne Summers endorsing a company that worked with children that wet the bed. At this point I thought what could a phone call hurt. A representative came to our home and explained the program to my husband and I and explained to us that he felt our son had a sleeping problem and was sleeping to deeply to wake up and that he would need to be retrained to help the problem. We went through the program and it worked. It wasn't easy and you have to be dedicated to it but it was done with out any medications. If you would like to contact me for further explaination please feel free to email me at ____@____.com Good Luck, Sincerely, C. B

I have this same problem with my 7 year old son. I will look forward to feedback you get....

Hi S.,
We went through the same thing. We tried the alarm called 'Nytone' enuretic alarm. It is purchased from a medical supply store.To be very honest,you must really work with your son on this. It is like having a baby again, because you must get him up when the alarm goes off and make sure he's awake. As the instructions says after 2 weeks the child should start awaking on their own. And he did, give or take a day.
Then about a week after that he was no longer going at night. It worked great for us. We felt like it was the best thing for
he also was getting embarrassed and nervous about sleepovers etc. It was a bit expensive but it pays for itself on the amount spent on goodnights. It was definitely worth it. I also felt like my son really appreciated the efforts I put it to it. He really got annoyed a few times and i reminded him we
were doing it together and we'd stick to it. It worked for us.
Hope all goes well.

My middle son also had a problem with bedwetting. We tried medication, wet alarms, fluid reduction, and anything anyone else recommended. When he was about 12 we saw a urologist, and his uretha was too small to allow the bladder to empty completely. A simple surgical procedure was done, to open the uretha, and he was immediately cured. He is now 36 years old, and has 3 beautiful sons. Our family doctor, and our pediatrician never recommended this procedure. The urologist saw it immediately. So, I would recommend seeing a urologist. It made so much difference in our sons life. He finally could have sleep-overs, and go to camp with his friends. I only wonder why I waited so long.

S., My son was 10 when he asked the doctor himself and then the doctor gave him this medicine to take once a day before bed time. I am not sure of the name, but it was 3 letters. He took it for a short period of time and then all of a sudden he quit taking it and never wet the bed again. I think that when my son asked the doctor, after I did so many times and was told the same thing you were, they finally realized soemthing needed to be done. I guess my son was "ready" to do soemthing about it, so to say. godd luck!

My cousin and his nephew both had that same problem. It is a hereditary condition. Don't worry he will grow out of it. My cousin's nephew would go to the sleep overs (and sleep at my house sometimes too) and have "Good Nights" with him. He would go in the bathroom and change into them without anyone's knowledge. He is now 14 and doesn't have the problem anymore. The Good Nights saved him from a lot of imbarrassment. Just be supportive and love on him.

for some children, this does remain a problem thru the years. But, what about trying a dr who specializes in the behavior-modification methods out there....the bells/alarm system, etc. There are options & your pediatrician should know who to recommend...otherwise, call your local children's hospital & find out.
Your son is coping now, but the friends will only "use" this against him......& it's coming, sooner than you think!