Seeking Ideas on How to Make My Child Comfortable at Daycare.

Hi,
I am a mom of three girls and own a daycare here in brentwood. Since your daughter is six, she is probably able to understand the reasons you have to go to work. If this were me I would explain to her the things she likes and gets (clothes, toys, going out with you to eat or ice cream) are possible only if you go to work. Ask her how she would feel if those things didn't exist anymore, would she be happy. Also I would suggest you and her making a small scrapbook together with pictures of you both in special moments or occasions, or just having fun together. One of those vinyl flip books or "brag books" would do. She can carry this with her in her backpack to daycare and this way she can look at it when she starts to miss you and maybe it will bring her comfort to see you and reassure her you are comming back.

J.

Hi T.,
Try sending her with a picture of you. They even make picture frames that you can record a message. Make sure you are very positive and upbeat about her going to daycare too. When my daughter was going to daycare, she had a special blanket she would take that smelled like home. I think if you are positive about the situation she should come around. Just don't make a big deal about it. Some kids are reluctant to embrace change but she will start to follow your cues. I always went early so I could get her playing with toys and the other kids. Just make sure the daycare is really a great place. The first place my daughter went to (at 2 1/2 months) seemed like a wonderful place. The woman was previously a pediatric nurse with 3 kids of her own. I found out that things aren't always as they seem and took her out ASAP. Now I work from home so I don't have to put her in daycare.
Good luck!
~L.

Change can take a while, but 6 is a great age for daycare. It's like a play date, and for social little girls, really fun. My daughter usually refuses to leave!

Still, it will take a while for her to make friends and get used to the change. First, be confident in your choice. If you cannot be, consider if you made the right one. Your daughter will pick up your unease and play to it. Second, encourage her to make friends. Are there any children at daycare that are also in her class at school? If the other children have been together a while, and she is the new one, she may be having trouble breaking in (remember that little girls can be quite mean). Third, sneak little notes and photos into her backpack so that she knows you are still thinking about her. Keep them positive, so that they don't end up playing into any of her insecurities.

My two children usually do after-school care a few days a week, but more when I have work deadlines. I LOVE our daycare. More often than not my kids will complete their homework at daycare with their friends, so that once home we can enjoy family time. But how happy they have been on any given day does depend a lot on what happened socially. Was a good friend there that day, and did that good friend play with them? Things like that. So keeping my pulse on the social aspect is important to making sure they have a positive experience.

Making play dates outside of daycare with kids who attend full time can be difficult, as the families are going to treasure their family time, but if it is a short term thing, to help your daughter ease in, it can probably be arranged.

Finally, don't let a few tears worry you. Your daughter is expressing herself, what her preference is, and she has every right to. But those tears are gone the instant she sees a friend to play with, I am sure. Stay upbeat and confident, and she will, eventually, also.

I am a preschool teacher, mother of three and formerly a foster mother of teens. I've tried many things. Encouragement and incentives seems to be the best technique that I've found.

Idea A: Give her a disposable camera. Let her take pictures of her day - starting with getting ready at home, then going to daycare, afterwards coming back home - or a picture of you picking her up, maybe over the course of a week. Depending on how long she goes to child care. Then together over the weekend. Sit down and make a child care book together. With stickers, glue, glitter - let her explain the pictures and write the words below the pictures. (This is a great early literacy technique.) Then read it together. Make a connection between home and daycare. Make sure her provider is allowing her to feel comfortable too. Make sure that you're keeping that line of communication open with her as well.

Idea B: A sticker chart that exists at the child care, or at home. Which ever suits your situation better. And every time her day is positive and she has a good day than a sticker is added to her day. (or a smiley face) Then at the end of the week do something rewarding, like ice cream, or a movie with popcorn on the couch.

I can also give you one other suggestion. Try "Positive Love Injection". For instance, its Sunday night do something extra with her. Tell her that you understand that she misses you while you are working. Tell her that you miss her too, so you've planned to spend time with her the night before playing a game of Twister, or Go-Fish. Sometimes that little extra love can go a long way!

Good Luck and Hang in there mom!

Send her with something that smells like mommy...maybe a small blanket?