Seeking Guidance Regarding Mom/child Room Sharing

If it is not in the budget to get a slightly larger apartment (with another bedroom), I would probably put myself in the family room. You could also look on sites like craigs list, often they have cheap or even free bunk beds and your kids could share a room. I know ideal you would like your daughter to have her own space, but life if not ideal. If they do share a room you could give her a hope chest with a lock to keep her private treasures.

I saw this too late as well, but just wanted to add my support. Co-sleeping is not creepy, and everyone must do what is best for them. My son will turn 5 in a few weeks. He has been with me and my husband in bed since he was a baby. We tried everything...he just would not sleep without us. My daughter is 12, has her own room, and slept by herself since she was a baby. Every child is different. My husband and I bought a King size bed when my son was 2, anticipating that this was just going to be the way any of us would get sleep. The way I see it is that he won't be in my bed when he goes off to college!! He is my son...nothing wrong with him loving and needing his parents. That being said, you must do what is right for your family, and not worry about judgment from anyone, from your daughter on down the line. Believe me, whatever decision you make, your children are going to look back on this period and see a mother who loved them enough to make sacrifices, and agonize over what was best for her children. I wish you the best, and praise you for the courage to ask your question:-)

It's not creepy that you need to share a bed with your son because of your situation. I would NOT MOVE just for this reason... We have a baby boy and a 4 yr old daughter.... My daughter has her own room and she still crawls into bed with us. So maybe if your son had his other room, he might still crawl in there with you anyways. What really matters is that you and your children have a roof over your head, food to eat and clothes on your back. Once those things are taken care of, everything else is basically do what you need to do. When things get better and you get a bigger place, I'm sure everyone will enjoy their own rooms. For now, you should make sure whatever you sleep on is good for your back, you are the bread winner and the glue that holds everything together.... They can't have you out of work with a bad back.

*** If it's someone's opinion or judgment your concerned about and that's the reason for not wanting to share the bed with your son, i would let the comment roll off my back and continue as things are. Americans are known for being spoiled and wanting "space" for so many things. In reality, "space" costs $$$. So if you ain't got the space, be thankful and work with what you do have.

Another late response but I wanted to share because I had a similar situation when my first husband and I split up. I had two boys in a two bedroom apt. They had twin beds but my younger son was afraid to sleep alone (even though big brother was in the same room, he wasn't a parent). They were 7 and 10. At first I didn't have a bed; I slept on the sofa. I would lay down with the the younger one until he fell asleep and then go to the sofa. After I got a bed, he would always come in my room during the night and get in bed with me. He didn't start sleeping totally alone until he was about 10. Each year at his birthday I would say, "you're going to be nine tomorrow--or whatever the age--are you ready to sleep in your own bed all night?" He would always say yes, but a day or so later I would wake up and there he would be! Once he decided to sleep alone, he did all the time, and he is now a happily married 26-year old. I think the "creepy" comment from your daughter has more to do with her being a teenager than anything else. I know other people who have had their children sleep with them with no problems. Good luck with your finances; it will get better! :)

Excuse me, I must have missed something ?? What is creepy about a mom and son sharing the same room or bed ? Can someone explain this ? I guess if you have a sick mind then you must be the one's who think its creepy....It's only the Americans who have this concept of 'each child must have their own, bed, their own room....' You go to Europe, Asia, various places in the world - this is NOT seen. The extended family lives all under one roof, people share bedrooms, beds, its not 'creepy.' I for one have spent 15 months taking my kids on a trip around the world with me, we are on a budget - could only afford 2 bedroom apts., my two daughters in one room (7, 12) and my son said he had NO problem with sharing my room (he is 15). What is the big deal ? I guess if a child is extremely spoiled they will make you feel that way - but its your house, you make the rules, and what you say goes, I have very kind kids who are not spoiled. I know when I was a child my parents had us 3 kids together (me and my 2 brothers) in a tiny 10 x 10 bedroom, that was all they could afford and no one mentioned anything about it. I personally find the 'creepy' comment disturbing in and of itself.....

First of all to the poster who said you really don't understand why she couldn't afford bunk beds - try being a single parent to 2 children and not having the money for food sometimes, or to figure out diapers or electricity, or rent or taking a kid to the dr. If they have beds to sleep in it is very easy to see how hard it would be to justify spending the $ on bunk beds when they have collectors coming after them. Here's an idea: you buy her bunk beds and problem solved!

on another note - do what works best for you and your family. maybe all 3 of you talk about it and see what solutions and like you said options - maybe he wouldn't mind being the one to sleep on the couch, share the closet space with your daughter, but his clothes/toys in the other bedroom to give him a room and her a room to avoid the "creepiness". Maybe if you put the word out to co-workers, friends & family someone will know someone trying to get rid of a bunk or dorm or the poster that doesn't get it steps in or...
I hate that $ interferes with being able to take care of my girls and give them the things they not only want but need. but i lucked out mine were born 10 years apart but the both girls. cuz i worried my whole pregnancy what if it's a boy - can't have them share in a few years but can't afford to move to a 3 bedroom.

Good luck!

I live in a 1 bedroom with my 8 year-old daughter (have since she was 5). We have a bunk bed (from Sears, but Ikea has similar ones). The bottom bed is a double and the top is a twin. Sometimes we both sleep in the bottom, sometimes one of us sleeps in each. She would not want to sleep in a separate room even if I could afford it :-)

I like that this bed gives us options, and I don't listen to anyone who thinks it's their business where my daughter and I sleep. Most of my friends regularly have a kid or two in their beds at whatever age. My daughter is the most secure and well-adjusted kid I know! Oh, and she has a 25 year-old half-sister who thinks our sleeping together is "weird" - ignore, ignore...

How big are the bedrooms? Is there another room like a den that could serve as a bedroom? Something else you can do instead of bunkbeds is a loft bed. It's like a bunkbed without the bottom bunk - lots of people in college have them cause space is at a premium.

Your son needs his own bed, but I think your daughter needs her own room. If the master is big enough, use the Loft bed to create a room within your room for your son. Get a big area rug for his "room" that defines "his" space - that way he can keep his "room" clean, it'll have it's own look, etc. Heck, you could even hang curtains from the ceiling as "walls".

If your daughter really wants to share your space, I'd do the same thing for her if she likes the idea.

This is a website that builds them, but I just wanted to give you an idea of what they look like - http://www.collegebedlofts.com/ - if you know someone who can build, perhaps they can build it for you for a reasonable cost? Another option is a Daybed - some look like couches, but they are beds - double duty furniture. Good luck!

my son was sleeping with me for many years as well. it started because of health concerns. When he was in 1st grade I went to walmart and purchased a camping cot. it is at the foot of my bed and he sleeps on it with a sleeping bag and a pillow. The sleeping bag can be laundered when I change bedding so it doesn't get yucky. I, like you, am a single mom just trying to get by. The cot is a good way to move him towards his own bed in the event that you get a place with more room. I, too, have a daughter and have considered bunk beds if I have to share a room with my daughter.

Hi K.,
Have you considered a murphy bed in the family room? They are quite comfortable and fold up out of the way during the day. Here are some links to pictures. The first link is to a company going out of business and is selling their floor models.
My Aunt was divorced and had a son and daughter. She lived in very expensive Boston area. She always lived in a 2 bedroom, let her son have one room, her daughter have the other and the family room doubled as her bedroom. She lived this way from the time they were young to the time they grew up and moved out. Most people would not even realize that the family room doubles as your bedroom with this type of furniture and the comfort sure beats a fold out couch. Check out the pictures from the links below. A murphy bed would cost less than moving and less than the rent increase you would be faced with getting a third bedroom.

http://www.millerwoodcrafts.com/
http://www.bedderway.com/index.asp
http://www.zoom-room.com/?gclid=CNb5gqf98qECFQsMDQod5CAhmA

By the way, I see nothing wrong with co-sleeping with your 6 year old son!

Best of luck!
K.

Another option: a daybed in the family room that works as a couch by day, bed by night. It would be more comfortable than a futon. If you can't find an affordable daybed, just use a twin bed with a neutral quilt or bedspread, pile on some cushions to give it the look of a daybed/sofa and the family room can be your space at night.

Hello! Late response. =)

My husband and I have three kids. We bought our first home two years ago and now everyone has their own room. For the 3 years before that, my husband and I always made the living room our room. It was somewhat weird because we had our bed in the living room. It would have been really easy, if it had really been an issue, to just buy a sleeper sofa. Then we could have just pulled our bed out every night. When I was little, my parents slept in the living room so that us kids could have the rooms. They slept on a sleeper sofa. As for us, we never felt displaced or anything by being in the living room. The only thing we ever used a room for is sleeping so it always made sense to give the rooms to the kids that actually have more clothes, activities, and toys. It just became wasted space for us to be in a bedroom.

Just think of it as temporary! You're saving money and it was a smart decision to live within your budget! Also, if you need a sleeper sofa, bunk bed, or loft bed, put an ad on freecycle...you're bound to get an offer and it won't cost you a thing! Happy sleeping!

I know I am late to this party but I will add my two cents. Our culture is one of the only ones that compartmentalize our entire family. In many countries entire families occupy studio type places or one bedroom and it is not "creepy." Don't do anything because you feel pressure to do so. I would long to have a good night sleep every night but my 7 year old daughter and 10 year old son still crawl into bed with us often in our queen sized bed (they each have their own rooms) and I just keep in mind that in a few years this will not happen. Enjoy it while you can.

If you do decide to sleep n the family room, you may want to look at IKEA - they have some nice chairs that fold out into beds which are REALLY comfortable and don't feel like a futon at all - they have real mattresses - they are not huge, but they look like oversized lounge chairs when folded up with the cover on them and fold out super easy - I slept on one for about 6 months in my infant son's room and was very comfortable. They have several options: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/search/?query=chair+bed
but this is the one that I got:
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S99840079
good luck!

Just wanted to mention a fantastic way to aquire great deals on just about anything..Craiglist. I am a grandparent and still have 3 of 5 grandkids living with us and we could not have given them the nice beds and furniture they have if it wasnt for Craiglist. You have to check often to get just what you want..I wish I had known about it sooner. Loft beds are great..they come in
full bed size. You and your daughter could share a room..make it an
adventure. It was mature of her to make the offer to share.
Good luck

I don't see sharing your bed with your son a problem (well unless he's like my daughter who tries to roll me and my husband out of our bed space :D).

If you're ready to have your son out of your bed (or your son is wanting "his space"), give him the futon (on an area rug) in your room. If he (or you) needs a bit more privacy, add a room divider/ curtain or screen to section off an area--thinking a bit out of the box, you could get a play tent and have him use that as "his room."

I saw this question too late looks like but I just want to say I am so please to see all the positive co-sleeping comments :) When my daughter was a toddler we shared a room in our one bedroom apt, then I slept on the couch in the living room to make more room in her room, and then I built a loft bed above her bed so there was plenty of room and I didn't have to sleep on the couch. My dad spent about 100 in materials for the loft and it was very sturdy. (I couldn't afford it by myself though, believe me!)Maybe you can find a bunk bed on craigslist used? Good luck

the idea (and the societal wealth which allows it) that every child should have their own bed and own room is a very novel concept in human evolution. it's great if you've got room AND your family prefers it, but sharing a bed with one's children is as old as our species and there's nothing creepy about it. my older kid slept with us off and on into his teens. my younger is a wild sleeper and so was less welcome<G>. but if that's the space you've got and you're both fine with it, don't let 'creepy' comments make you feel ashamed. there's nothing wrong with it.
khairete
S.

I completely ditto Haven S. answer! Sorry I just had to say that to add to the long list of those that see co-sleeping as a very natural thing for a mother to do with her child. He's 6, not 16! Saying co-sleeping is "creepy" is just wrong!

YOU are a wonderful, loving mother and I wish more Moms were LIKE YOU!

I just have to add my 2 cents worth of support.
My then only nephew was still sleeping with his mother when he was 7 or 8, no big deal. But, she was also still dressing him every morning and cutting all of his food for him, spoon/fork feeding him, plus more. She seemed to favor both of her sons over her two daughters. An older boy and girl from a previous marriage and the younger girl and boy with my brother. All together, not seemingly all that wholesome.

That being said, several years ago I left my children's father and I brought my kids with me back "home" to my mother's house from another state. For over a year my then 6 yr old daughter and 2 yr old son and I all slept in one room in my mother's home. We had a twin bed and a full bed to sleep in. They both wanted to sleep with mommy and were arguing about it. So, I "suggested" they take turns sleeping with me. That brought peace.

Then I lucked out and was able to move into a 2 bedroom trailer. My son I gave the smaller room and my daughter the larger. We share the large closet and I have two dressers in there. I was sleeping on a sofabed which I still have but no longer use. I have a queen size bed in the "L-shaped" living room. We have been here for about 4 years. They both sometimes slept with me in the living room for about 6 months while I encouraged them to each sleep in their own rooms and beds. Selfishly for my own privacy, I've always like my alone time, even as a child.

Almost 2 years ago, my boyfriend moved in with us. When either of them has a bad dream, I go lay down with them for awhile. Both of my children are loving, affectionate and seem to be well adjusted. And, they are happy as far as I can tell. Like any mom, I sometimes worry.

I love the idea of the loft bed. That would really work well in my son's room as it's so small. My daughter's room too with all of the dressers in there. I also like the idea of replacing the sofa bed with a day bed. Excellent ideas!

I missed the whole subject altogether, sorry. But now that I am caught up. I want to say that all as single moms we can only do our best. I have a one to two bed room house I rent with three kids. The smallest "bed" room isn't even big enough for a bed. So my two daughters 8, and 6 share with my 4 year old sharethye "master" bed room. I sleep in the living room/dinning room. What I found useful is a day bed and lots of pillows. I work third shift so it makes my rest time even more relaxer because I am in the same room. All that said I just want you aware that no matter what someone isn't going to like you our your situation and try and make something out of anything you do that isn't true. Just hang in there and trust that you are doing what is best.

I too recently had to downsize to a 2 bedroom apartment. I have a son, nin, and a daughter, four. I had to make the difficult decision as to where my little girl should sleep. We ended up agreeing on her having her own bed, right next to mine. This definitely meant giving up some precious room for all of her and her toys to be incorporated into my room. As a newly single mother, this was a difficult decision. I am still grieving over what my husband has chosen to do with his life. I end up staying in the living room most nights anyway. That way she doesn't see me crying and upset as much. I am thinking about moving back to my bed. Maybe someday I will. As for now our things co-share a room. But, when I am ready to sleep there again, I will have my own bed. And she will have hers.

I totally feel your pain. My daughter who is four was very ill at birth and I couldn't sleep unless she slept on my chest - where I could hear and feel her breathing all night. I think it is totally normal for children to want and sometimes need to sleep with their Parents. My daughter has sort of naturally weaned herself and we have a bed in my room for her to sleep in and most nights she sleeps there all night but she is welcome to come in our bed as much as needed.

Moving and any change is difficult for kids. If you son gets really upset if you ask him to sleep in a bed in your room. He might just need you a little longer. Most kids will naturally wean. It sounds like your daughter is at very different stage than him and that's why it seems "creepy" to her. Don't beat yourself up too much about this. I definitely don't think you should move. Speak openly and frankly about this with your daughter and son... maybe not at the same time. Share if you really want to have some time alone in your bed. Kids understand if they are given a chance to really share their feelings also.
It may not seem like it, but soon, they both will be off in their own lives and this time will just be a sweet tender memory. Best of luck, I'm sure you will know what feels best for you and your family. It is different in every family.

My dad shared a room with his mom (they were in a similar situation) until he was about 8. But they had twin beds. I don't think this really bothered him at all. My advice would be to get him out of your bed, but if you have to share a room, share with him. I think that would be better than sharing with a teenager. But I think you need to look at this as a warning that the time is coming soon when you will need another arrangement...

Have you ever looked into Dave Ramsey as a way of improving your finances? It is really hard, but people can often find a little money in their budgets to put away if they have a good system. Might be worth it to relieve some of the financial stress. And if things really are bad, don't be afraid to seek out some public assistance--lots of people are having to do that today who never would have dreamed about it a couple years ago. Best of luck to you.

I just want you to know that you are not alone in co-sleeping with your 6 year old son. The fact that it never occurred to you that it was creepy speaks to its innocence. I agree that he should have his own bed to transition to when he is ready, for all or part of the night. But with a recent move, what he probably needs is security. I would give it a little time and maybe find some space for a twin bed in your room.

i don't think there are any rules..you have to make the best of the situation right now..i have a 3.5 bedroom house and i sleep with my 4 year old son in my bed..i put a long body pillow between us so he doesn't wake me all night..i just feel i can protect him better that way..odd but its true..i used to lie awake all night even with the monitor on wondering if he was ok..
and i'm a pretty laid back person..my boyfriend is sleeping over tonight and when my son is here and not at his dad's my boyfriend sleeps in another room..you know..its just sleep..just rooms..if u feel like crashing on the couch sometimes then do it..or if u feel like sleeping in your daughter's room sometimes try that. Sorry you're struggling..i can relate..single mom..ex never pays..6 is still very young.. i used to be so scared alone in my room as a child..my son sleeps great through the night ..no waking up scared b/c he knows i'm there.

I think you should either make the son sleep on the futon or continue letting him sleep with you. My son has slept with me now for almost 3 years since his father left us. He just turned 10. I get frustrated and say that I want some privacy and when he returns from spending time with his father this summer, he's going to sleep in his own bed. His sleeping with me doesn't bother me. It's been somewhat of a comfort.

I just wanted to add that we also co-sleep. I have three kids and we are all in the same room but not all in the smae bed. We rent a slipt level house with the upstairs thats a loft. We all sleep in that room. My daughter(6) has her own bed, son (3) sleeps in our bed, and the baby sleeps for the most part in his crib.
I am the one that wanted this. I just dont like having my kids on a different floor at night. We get comments from some family and our DR is exactly for it either. But it works for us. I think sharing a room with a 15 girl would be harder than with a 6 yr boy.
Good luck
K.

A late answer.. but I wanted to say it. You have to do what you have to do. Don't listen to people who tell you that the accomodations you've figured out for your family are creepy. Your family has a roof over their heads, food in their belly and clothes on their back. With those things, I'd say you're doing quite well!

We only have one child in a 2BR apartment right now, and we're not going to be upgrading any time soon, even when we have another child. We're in the process of remodeling a home to be a 4br home and until that happens, its not a luxury that's available. Even when we have that 4br home, if we have more than 3 kids, someone gets to share! I'd say that at this point, your daughter and son should of course be separated to different rooms for privacy.. but I think the bunkbed/loft bed ideas are kind of neat if the livingroom idea won't work. Just keep in mind that whatever you decide, your family is happy, healthy and safe.. that's what matters!

I think the only people who think co-sleeping with children is not socially acceptable, or worse, "creepy" are those who have no idea how many people actually DO co-sleep with their children. It's far more widely accepted and PRACTICED than some people realize. I co-cleep with my now 4 year old. He used to sleep with me in my bed, but in the interest of more space and better sleep, I put his twin bed between the wall and my bed. The benefit of this arrangement for us is that he is still close to me, but has his own space, and his mattress is about 3 inches lower than mine, so it keeps his from accidentally rolling into my space. Certainly, if he needs or wants a snuggle, he can and does climb right up, but in general, the different mattress heights helps us to have better sleep.

As for your situation, I really agree with the poster who suggested the loft bed for your son to give him a bed, as well as some floor space underneath that is "his own space." He can keep some of his things/toys there. You really can find them pretty inexpensively second-hand, and ikea even has pretty good prices on new ones. (If you go to their website and search "loft" you will get all their loft beds.)
http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70161834
Does your son have a birthday coming that he could ask for monetary gifts to use for his new bed? (if you have relatives/friends that give gifts - I know not everyone does)... If you can't swing something like this, I'd say to use the futon in your room to be his space, if he wants it. If not, I truly don't see any reason for forcing him out of your bed, unless he wants out. As for your daughter thinking it's "creepy," wait until she's a mom and her little one wants to snuggle up next to her. It won't seem so creepy then... :)

Get on Craigslist. I don't understand why you can't afford bunk beds, but a Murphy bed or new couch is an option? Craigslist bunk beds or loft beds will be your best bet.

Hi K.,
I think you should do what is in the best interest of your kids. I think your older daughter is smart and would understand your decisions. As far as I know, it is not against the law for parents and kids to share a room or sleep in the same bed. Due to the economy, there are many family in the same situation as yours and hope our family can get through it.

You could still share the room with your son, but not the bed. Is there room to put a small bed in there for him? If not, maybe he can sleep on the futon in the living room. He could go to sleep in your bed and then when you go to bed, move him to the futon in the living room. I do think your daughter is too old to share a room with her brother and I also believe that at 15, your daughter needs some privacy.

What a hugely generous thing you are doing for your daughter. Especially as SHE'S the one most likely to have friends over, giving her her own space is a colossal gift.

You do have a ton of options, just none of them are really ideal. My almost 8 year old sleeps with me more often than not right now (he goes through phases of piling in with mum, or being on his own)... but like you did... he does still have his own room. One you haven't mentioned, however, is putting the queen in the living room studio-style. Couch elsewhere, or in storage?

You have to do what is right for your family and if this works then fine but since your daughter brought up that it is getting creepy means that she has thought about it way more than you think. Since she offered to share her room with you I think that this maybe the solution. You said you couldnt afford bunk beds but have u looked on craigslist? I am looking at bunkbeds for my daughters and have found some that are super cheaper...like $50! And yes it might really help him sleep thru the night too. On the nights my daughters climb in bed with me they wake up constantly but they sleep if I take them back to their beds right away. GOOD LUCK!

I think sharing your room with your daughter or you sleeping on the futon and giving your daughter the bedroom is the way to go. The son is 6... way too old to be sleeping with you. If you don't stop it now, he will still be sleeping with you when it really becomes unappropriate.

i know i am responding late, but wanted to give some support and sugguestion. at 6, yes, it is time for your male child to transition out of your bed and mom, it might be good for you to have your own bed back. i would talk to your daughter about why she thinks it is 'creepy' and what you all can do as a family in a 2 room place. maybe the girls in one room is the best idea for sleeping with the understanding that she needs her own quiet space for privacy before sleep as you do. maybe section off a part of the lr for a "den" with the understanding that if your son has his own room his toys NEED to stay contained at certain times for his sister to get her work done? or maybe your son gets to sleep in the family room on a futon. mixed sexes in the family is going to cause some difficulty these ages and financial difficulties. keep the lines of communication open with your daughter, too.
also, feel free to email me through the system. children and sexuality is an area i do have some experience with through my work.

I don't think it is creepy. Teenagers are so conservative. My parents were of the "hippy" generation and we had a king-size family bed for four people until around 5/6th grade (we had our own room, but there was an open policy to go into our parent's bed when we wanted) when friends pointed out to me that it was weird. We were two girls, but dad was in the bed too. I have a friend who right now has her 5 year old boy on a cot/small bed in her room and they are happy with that. Her son ends up in her bed quite often, but he likes his cot, too.

If your son isn't uncomfortable, don't worry about it. My 8, almost 9, year old son is often in my bed, my husband is there too, as often are our other children, daughter 7, son 4, and daughters 2 and 1. I've known many parents who have co-slept with their children up until the age of puberty. Usually at that point the child no longer wants to be there. Perhaps you can set up a cot or even a sleeping bag that is his own palce if he chooses to sleep there but I wouldn't worry too much. Everyone having there own bad really is a new concept of the 20th and 21st centuries. Before and in many parts of the world their simply isn't room or resources for each family member to have thier own bed.

I think your son is too old to be sharing a bed with you. You mentioned the futon in the den. Is there enough room to replace the futon with a daybed, or have your son sleep on the futon as it would be much more comfortable for him?

I'd recommend joining your local freecycle community to see if you can find either: 2 twin beds to replace your queen or a bunk bed for you and your son. In my experience, I'd rather share a room with a 6 year old boy than a 15 year old moody teenager, but that's just me :). I do think though you should have definite boundaries in sharing a room with your son - separate beds, appropriate pajamas, changing in the bathroom, etc., but with those boundaries set, I don't think it's "creepy" to share (perhaps your daughter might be a bit jealous? :)) If that's the case, maybe you could try starting out by planning to switch rooms every month or so - so that each child has their own room for some time, and you have the opportunity to have a closer relationship with each one. Then if one room works out much better than the other at some point, just stick with that one.

Sharing a bed with a 6 year old boy does not sound creepy to me. I don't find this creepy but he may be embarassed if it ever comes up at school etc.

I grew up in India and there are family beds in India. I have no idea when my parents spent "quality time" together but I was in that bed until I was in 9th grade.

May be the thing to do is to push the Queen size bed to one side of the room and buy a twin size mattress for him on the floor? or replace the Queen with two twins mattresses on the floor?

As a mom of boys (3 & 4) I know that they are exploring their bodies but don't associate that as a private activity. I tell them to reserve that "exploration" for their own rooms, I am not sure how you would deal with that.

Although your daughter sounds smart and is thoughful enough to give up her room, I think I would play this one down. You are trying to do the best thing as a single parent...she does not need to make you feel bad about it.

Well I know that you like to have your daughter in her own room and thats okay. My husband used to always say to me that our youngest (son) would turn out gay, since he was a baby would not sleep in his crib, he always slept with mommy, He stayed in my bed until he was almost 10. He just wouldn't sleep alone. When dad came home on the wknd, he would sleep with his sister. I had another friend that all 3 of her children slept with her and husband. We moved to the city when he was 11 and thats when he finally started sleeping alone. I just think that some children need to feel more secure than others. Yes ppl. will talk if told but who's business is it. Its yours alone. If he enjoys being with you don't downgrade him. If hes' okay with him sleeping alone and you with daughter, then just move your daughter into your room as you said you have a large bed and put your son in the other room which I assume is smaller. Good luck and go with your heart and feelings, not others! My son is a fine young man now and he loves his mom and holds no grudges'. We joke with him now and he just laughs. All I can say is he needed that extra security, and believe me he is not feminine in any way, shape or form. He's a strapping 6'2" 230lb. 22yr old, and has a beautiful girlfriend that he loves dearly. I wouldn't change things if I had to do it again.

The fact that it seems "creepy" to your daughter seems to be enough of a reason to find another solution. She will be embarrased to have friends over b/c she figures they'll think it's "creepy" as well. And you KNOW how easily a teen is embarrased. Don't alienate her by continuing. You need to stay close to her. I know funds are tight...but what about a small air mattress for your son...or even a sleeping bag on the floor? My son slept in a sleeping bag on the floor for probably a year because he decided he didn't like his bed (one that he had picked out) and we weren't in a position to replace it.

bless your heart...i don't think you should consider moving because your teenage daughter thinks it's creepy for you and your son to share the bed. at this point it's your only option,right? remind her (and yourself) of the families around the world that have four, five people crammed into a bed at night, who are happy to have a bed at all. it is not creepy.

that being said, i wouldn't want to have to share a bed with my son myself! can you fit a small bed into the corner of your room? or trade your queen for two twin beds? i guess these are very obvious solutions, but i just wanted to let you know that i don't think you're creepy, and your kids are lucky to have you (you gave up a room for your daughter!!! she is so blessed!).

good luck!

I am with your daughter on the "creepy" thing. I am aware of the "family bed" concept, but it isn't really very socially acceptable and he could get teased for it at school. Also you say that you can tell HE is ready.
The fact that your moody teen daughter is willing to give up her space, shows just how important SHE thinks it is for her brother to separate from you at his age.
How about your daughter keeps her space, and you can try just sleeping in there but otherwise it is HER space, and you keep your stuff in the other room. If this goes well, problem solved (temporarily at least). If it doesn't go well, then you can still do the futon thing.
If your room is reasonably big, you can divide part of it to hold your son's things, and still keep yours there.
Your daughter has only has a few years before she is an adult, and you don't want to spend it fighting with her...so bear that in mind.
By the Way: Congratulations on having such a mature and generous teen (however moody she may be).

I have a friend who's single dad lived in the livingroom for years so his teen daughters could each have their own room :) I have thought about doing that here just for the space.

We bought a nice solid wooden bunkbed on craigslist for 100 bucks, best piece of furniture I ever bought. Our housemate is on top, the 6 year old on the bottom. The baby sleeps with me and my honey has claimed the couch (he says the queen bed is too small for all of us).

We all do what works best for our families. The house has been configured many different ways over the last 20 years. The livingroom was the official bedroom for my niece for a year when she joined her brother and I here for a year.
If you already have the futon you can encouage your son to sleep there instead of you. Little ones can sleep on the floor more comfortably than us older folks so a futon would be great for a 6 year old. And, if your daughter is suggesting room sharing it could be with her brother ;)

Good luck :)

I dont see any reason the kiddo cant stay with you, but is the room big enough for him to have his own bed? Even a mattress on the floor? You could also try your local freecycle or craigs list for a bunk bed that is full on the bottom and a twin on the top. I had that in college that I shared with my littlest bro who was afraid to have his own room.

I would look into the bunk beds that have a twin top bed and a double bottom bed. They are available for very little money everywhere. It is an investment that would solve your problem.

Hun, do what seems right for your family! What do you want. Meet your needs first then your families needs will follow. (easer said than done right) :)

I would suggest 2 twin beds in your daughters room for you and her. They have them at Salvation Army You can apply for a discount or even free. They are Clean! They Sterilize them in a Machine, they come in a new thick Bag.
You could do a DAY bed in the living room ! and Use drawers for your TV stand.

That being said, I have a 5 year old who wakes up at night and crawls into bed with my all the time. Even my 9 year old will do it from time to time.
I don’t see them very much during the day. I work and attend College. We leave the house its dark we get home its dark. My kids need their Mom time. I think its a security issue for them. So that works for my Family.

Good Luck!