Seeking Advice Regarding Eight Year Old Son Diagnosed with ADHD

Both my DH and DS have adhd. When the are actually interested in something they have the focus of a laser beam! Trouble is, neither of them are able to change gears easily in this state. It's always a huge fight. Think about what would have happened in the scenario you described if you had to tell him it was time to get ready for bed, or go home.

While distractability is hallmark of ADHD when we get bored, HYPERFOCUS (intense concentration) is ALWAYS present with ADHD and usually triggers when we're interested in something (will also trigger when we're upset, hence the hours long tantrums we're also known for... as well as certain other times either for good or bad or indifferent). That's just the flipside of the coin. The benefit and the drawbacks with ADHD go hand in hand.

One of the main reasons I homeschooled my ADHD son was that I COULD make the vast majority of subjects interesting, and gradually introduce / require boring ones so that he could gradually learn to deal with the increased demands.

This IS NOT POSSIBLE in a typical school setting. k12 is the hardest time for most ADHD people, because you have zero choice in material, teachers, times... once you graduate you get to choose your college courses / professors... and then later your carreer.

There was NO reason to medicate my ADHD son while we were homeschooling.

Now that he's in public school? He'll probably needs meds.

That's just the way that it is.
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Think of it this way:

Do you need a parachute driving to the store? No? How about on an airplane? Yep. Or to keep things biological... when a diabetic has a very sugar laden diet (often out of their control), they need higher levels of insulin. You don't withhold the insulin, because when they have a lower sugar diet they need less insulin.

The k12 school system could not be worse designed for ADHD kids. In that situation most ADHD kids need a parachute. Or similarly, it's like feeding a diabetic candy. It's just not a good choice for most ADHD kids. But it IS often the best choice out of several bad ones (aka better of 2 evils). So you do what you've gotta do. Pack the parachute, or pack the insulin, or pack the stimulants. You just do what you've gotta do. That's not guilty. That's a necessary kindness.

I second CAWriterMom's advice regarding CHADD.

I myself am ADD and also take Focalin. I think you pegged exactly what your child was doing. He was hyper-focused on something of interest, but when he's not interested or bored or has to sit still for a long period that is where the meds go to work.

We think are 4 1/2 yr old son is ADD and have an appt with a dr in a few weeks for a consult-he does similiar things and he is currently not on meds.

It always makes me sad when I hear parents say they don't want to put their kids on meds...no one would consider NOT giving a child a necessary medication to treat their epilepsy or whatever...why is it that mental health issues should be any different....speaking as someone who struggled her way through school/life before being diagnosed at 39---do whatever it takes and works for your family and is in the best interest of your child..and if that is meds so be it. I am such a better mom/wife/employee and person who doesn't dislike herself quite as much thanks to my little white pill!

Good luck!

Consider subscribing to ADDitude magazine and joining CHADD to learn more about ADHD. I think you'll find both extremely helpful.

As Riley mentions, kids with ADHD hyperfocus on things that interest them. The problem is that the majority of time, things may not be fascinating and that's what gets them into trouble.

No parent is eager to give their child medication, but if it helps your child, you owe it to your child. Our son struggled so much before medication and was labeled a "bad kid." Medication allows him to lead a normal life. It's not perfect by any means, but makes a huge difference. He can't function without it.

Definitely pursue other options to supplement medication. It's never intended to be the "cure-all." Our son also sees a behavioral therapist and goes to neurofeedback.

Keep in mind that statistics show that the kids whose ADHD isn't treated face the greatest risk of drug and alcohol problems as teens (and the rates are very high). They end up trying to self-medicate to feel normal.

I wish my son did not have to take daily medication.
I wish my son had not inherited all the icky genes coursing through our family tree.

He has Inattentive ADD and takes Focalin every school day.

He is a little ODD and has some organic depression so he takes 50mg Zoloft every day.

He also takes Rx Prevacid every night so that he can eat in the mornings without getting sick.

But, you know what, he is a happier, healthy, teenager because of the medication. I have tried going without, changing his diet, doing all kinds of back flips to keep him off medication - but when my son looked at me and asked for his medication back - guess what, it was time to stop second guessing the medical professionals, stop turning it into "oh poor me, my kid is messed up" guilt, and do what was (and remains) right for my son.

My son had self esteem and anxiety issues simply from having the ADD and spending years in school feeling stupid and inept. Once we started the medication, and he realized that he had control over it - his self esteem improved and his anxiety subsided.

My son can also focus on something extremely interesting to him during his non-Focalin times - and it gets easier for him as he matures. But that does not mean he can forgo the medication altogether.

Have you asked your son what he wants to do? My son has always had an active voice in his medication and when he takes his Focalin - he decides is he wants to take it for band camp, weekends, special events. He wanted to try a lower dose of Zoloft - so we did - just so he would be able to have control over his medication and his body.

And lastly, do not project your anxiety about your son's medications and diagnosis onto your son. Yep, I have done that, been there.

Good Luck.

My son has ADHD and is un-medicated. If he likes something he can give it focus...school work is a whole other story. I homeschool, which means I have the ability to pay attention, take my time and make sure he stays on task.

When he was in public school, bless his teachers, they just didn't have the time in the day to do it. To many students, some just like my son, to give him the one on one he needs.

My younger brother was ADD/ADHD my mom never gave him meds on the weekend or during the summer, by the time he entered high school he no longer needed any med's. My mom took the days off the medication to help him learn other coping skills, but knew that the med's were important to his education.

What you are saying, and I don't mean this in a flip way, you want your child's teachers to make every subject every day as interesting as his uncle was so you don't have to medicate him. I was going for that is irrational, I hope that tone came through.

I was an unmedicated child with ADHD, I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy.

What you need to understand is your son has no control over what will or will not interest him. You can't say lets try you listening to your teacher like you did your uncle. He will fail and he will feel like a failure.

I don't know if I can find words to explain this feeling but you have no idea what it is like to grow up with people saying you can do this if you just try when you are already trying 150%. We can't will our brains to work correctly but meds can do that, then we use that 150% to be awesome!

I know I made the right choice medicating my kids because as adults they still choose to take the meds when they need them.

I chose not to medicate my son, because I, like you didn't get how he could concentrate with minute and infinitesimal detail on the things that he wanted or liked to do, but couldn't sit still for five minutes in school where he didn't want to be. Hmmm, strange right?
I talked to my son about it - he is 9. And I told him look, you don't have to like going to school, but unless you want to take this medication, which has many undesirable side effect, then you are going to have to exert some control over yourself. He still struggles with it every day, but he is determined not to be medicated to make him more "normal"

I think that dealing with the anxiety and seeking alternative treatments like CBT could help...along with his medication. From what I understand, most ADHD meds enter the system quickly and don't need to build up like some other medications do. If you truly feel like you would like your son to experience parts of life while off his medication, you can trial it over the summer, weekends and holiday breaks. If he is being successful at school with the current program, why would you change it? You wouldn't take a diabetic off of insulin because his blood sugar is within the appropriate levels; it's that way because the insulin is working the way its supposed to. The decisions regarding the health and education of your son are yours to make until he is an adult! If he no longer wants to be on medication, he can choose to do that when it is no longer your responsibility to maintain his mental and physical well being:) BTW, I think it's great that you are not looking at the medication as the end-all, be-all and are continually monitoring its effectiveness for him. Keep up the good work.

We have used diet, nutritional supplements, and biofeedback therapy with our daughter (10) who has mild inattentive add. It has made a big difference. I suppose if those didn't work, I would consider medicine, but I refused to even explore medication without first finding out what else could be done.
Turns out she has a wheat sensitivity and a milk and egg allergy -- none of which was obvious before doing blood tests and all of which can contribute to attention, anxiety, and behavior.

I recommend you read the books "Drive To Distraction" and "Drive From Distraction"

What you describe is VERY normal for someone with ADHD. It's quite common for someone with ADHD to be able to 'hyper focus' on particular tasks. For me it's the piano and music. I can tune all out and do just that. For your son, it's the great outdoors.

I wonder if there are any outdoor schools for kids your son's age? They exist for high school, where the kids have to chop their own wood if they want a hot shower, etc.