Hi All,
Are there any parents of "high energy" kids out there who might be willing to share some wisdom about choosing a school and helping active kids transition and be successful in the kindergarten world?
What questions should I be asking schools and teachers? How do I make sure my kid will get a compassionate, skilled kindergarten teacher who understands this type of child? Are there any schools that are known to be particularly well-suited for active kids (we live in the southern part of San Francisco)?
A bit of background: my son is 4.25, having challenges with structure in his play-based pre-K, soon to be in a therapist-recommended parent child interaction therapy play group, the "experts" we've consulted say he's high intensity and sensory seeking for deep pressure and movement, my husband would say he's a "boy's boy." He's a sweet kid who's full of life, but also very sensitive, quick to frustration, and prone to low self-esteem in the face of challenges/learning new things.
Help! I really don't care about performance or academics... I just want him to enjoy learning and to make it through the school process with his self-esteem intact.
Any advice is much appreciated.
Best,
C.
Can't help with your question but have to thank you for the realistic description of your husband! However, you did forget to say that you love every single solitary minute of motherhood because you are mother to the smartest, best looking, most special boy ever. :)
I suggest you consider homeschooling, which tends to get the results you seek--an adolescent/adult who enjoys learning and has self-esteem intact. You seem to have an intuition that "the school process" might be hard on your son and I want to let you know there is an alternative! Feel free to email me if you would like more info about homeschooling.
Cheers,
J.
Be patient and realistic. He's a young kinder.
TWO of my three were High Energy kinders. My girl had challenges all through the traditional school system, and probably would have been an excellent Home Schooled student - but I work full time out of the house. However, she is a straight A college student and does far better in that environment.
My youngest boy entered kindergarten last year, but was a December baby - so entered at 5 1/2. He had initial challenges with focusing, staying on task, blah blah blah. BUT my experience with my daughter helped me realize that it'll all turn out okay. He would also likely be an excellent Home Schooled student, because I can teach him anything and he is a receptive, quick learner. He matured tremendously over the course of the school year and ended the year STRONG! BUT he is an older kinder. He's in 1st grade this year, and we are just feeling out the fist week. He always asks when the next break is - whether it's recess, holiday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Summer...
The middle son just follows the rules, learns in the classroom environment and does well in the traditional setting.
I'd say, take one thing at a time. Focus on the most immediate concerns. Trust your instinct. Don't reprimand too much about behavior, but help him understand the ground rules in kindergarten.
Wife of 1; Mom of 4 (baby due 10/1)
Take Care!
Take a look at Synergy School at 25th and Valencia. The school is small, personalized, highly interactive, lots of hands-on activities. The school works well with a variety of kids. Parents started a learning differences committee, and as a result the school now has a learning specialist on staff. It is a private school, but they do work very hard to keep tuition one of the lowest in the city, and do offer assistance. Because class size is small, the # of spots each year are also limited. My active son thrived there; he was encouraged to be himself! A.
I agree with Kelly that being older in kidergarten is better. It's not just kidergarten, but Junior High School & High School is where you see the benifits of being older and the deficits of being younger. This is the most true for boys than girls. You want a school with structure, but also understands that attention spans are short, that boys need big movement activites, and understand normal boy behavior. This seems to becoming harder to find. My kids have all gone to Belmont Oaks Academy - maybe too far for you??? I love it. Academically it is strong, but it is small and the teachers know the kids so well - strenghts & weeknesses. They are taught and frequently reminded of expected behaviour but it is done in a way that supports the child.
Your little man sounds like our 7.5 yo son did at 4.5 yrs. The biggest thing that helped him was that he started K at 6.5 yrs. He's a Turkey baby so we really coulda gone either way but felt it better to start as an older K rather than a younger K. Turns out he's not the oldest in his class as there are several boys & girls who have b-days before his. Since your son is already 4.5 & not in K, I assume he'll be on the older side as well. It really helped our son in terms of his emotional maturity. Plus, he was more ready to do seat work in 1st grade last year. I think it's great that academics & performance aren't biggies for you which I so agree with. Now adays, public school K's are so pressured by the standardized tests that K is more academic than in the past. So many school are so concerned w/their ranking & this puts pressure on teachers to get their students to do well on the test & in turn, pressure on kids....too much so, I think. So, it sounds like a smaller private school may be the palce for your son. Sorry, I'm not familiar w/your area of town. In general, look for the same things in a grade school as in preschool....low teacher turn-over rate? Are the teachers appropriaately creditialed & supported by the administartion & happy? What is their curriculum? Are the kids engaged & stimulated in class? What's the school's policy on homework & discipline, teasing/bullying? What about PE, art, languages, comupters....is this something you want & does the school offer it? Our son goes to our small parish school & he gets Spanish 3x/wk, & PE, & computer 2x/wk. All done by separate teachers, not his classroom teacher. What kind & how much participation is required of parents? What about donating to the school? Do you like the school community? Are these parents you can see yourself becoming friends w/ & spending the next several years wiht at b-day parties, sleepovers & playdates or other social functions? Then the obvious is it a safe environment? But most important, what is the vibe you get from the school? Your gut feeling? Do you wanna leave your son there? One thing to think about....the 'high intesity' & sensory-seeking opporunities you talk about...if these become a bigger issue in his life & create obstacles to his learning & he needs to be assessed & receive OT or other services, the district should provide these services for free for him. I've blabbered on here quite a bit so I hope you can pull out something helpful here. Best of luck!
