Second Baby Shower?

Updated on September 15, 2008
S.Z. asks from Palatine, IL
23 answers

I had a baby shower when I was pregnant with my son. He's now 18 months, and will be 21 months when my daughter is born.

A friend of mine suggested I have a 2nd baby shower since this baby is a girl. I don't know how I feel about it. It's not like my son is 5 years old and it's been a long time since the last shower. But I'm wondering, would it be considered weird or rude to have another shower because this oneis a girl?

How would you feel?

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't do a second shower if I were you. There will likely be friends and family who will want to give you girl-oriented gifts, and they should be welcome to. But when the kids are this close together it might seem like too much to bring the same people back for another shower.

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E.H.

answers from Chicago on

One shower unless the kids are very much apart, and it's a second marriage.

Otherwise, it looks like you just want gifts...

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K.F.

answers from Chicago on

It is a personal decision and I know many people that have done it. But I feel you are asking for gifts and you just had a shower less than 2 years ago. You will probably get plenty of girl baby gifts after your daughter is born and people will do it at their on discretions vs feeling like they have to if invited to a shower.

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J.E.

answers from Chicago on

I say no, usually you send out announcements and people send gifts from that. If it was 5+ years since your fist child I would but not even two years then I would have to say no, sorry.
Hope this helps
J.

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

My girlfriend threw me a shower when my second was a girl (my first was a boy and 3 at the time of her birth). It was a lot of fun. It was small, only 6 ladies. It was great because I didn't have anything pink or purple! They all brought clothes and it was a lot of fun. We waited until the baby arrived and used it as an excuse for everyone to meet her too. Other infants came too.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Our family does baby showers a little different then most. We have showers AFTER baby is born so the baby is there and its more of a meet and greet the baby. This way also prevents tons of visitors bouncing in here and there. Maybe you could do more of that kind of shower.
I think every baby should have a party to celebrate it. To me the party isn't about getting stuff its about the celebration of the baby and mom and having a great group of women together for something fun.

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

My son was 3 when I had a baby shower for my daughter. We made it more of a "celebration of birth" instead of a shower. We shared stories of parenting, being mothers, and gifts were not encouraged, though I did get a few. It was nice just to have strong women surround me and share their encouragement! We still need that, especially with the second one, I think!

Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I think if someone is kind enough to offer to host a baby shower for you, you should accept. You might want to indicate on the invite that you are expecting your first girl. I don't think it is appropriate for you to have a shower for yourself (even if this was your first!) By the way, a friend hosted a shower for me when I got pregnant with my third, even tho I had a shower with the first. It was lovely and no one felt imposed upon.

Congratulations and I hope you like pink!
M. G (SAHM of 14, 12 and 5 year old)

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Since your children are going to be so close in age it seems a little silly to have another baby shower. It doesn't really matter that they are different genders as a lot of baby clothes can be gender neutral. I would say that a lot of people will buy you gifts anyways because they WANT to, not because they are invited to a baby shower. Congrats on your pregnancy!

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

Typically, the mother-to-be has nothing to do with the shower planning as it is usually friends who want to shower her with gifts. You should not concern yourself with a second shower. If your friends want to throw you one because they want to get out there and buy something pink - let them! But it's not your decision.

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K.D.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think it's a good idea. Most people will buy you pretty pink cute outfits after the babies born. Some will buy you cute things ahead of time. Did you receive an invitation when other mom's another child of another gender? I didn't.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with most of the posts. My mom was really into proper etiquette (I own a copy of Emily Post's etiquette book, courtesy of my mom), and she would have said "no way!" :o) If someone else chooses to throw you a shower, you can politely accept, but it's generally poor etiquette to have a second shower (especially if you're talking about throwing it yourself or helping plan it) since you have already been given the necessities for a baby. People will definitely send you new pretty clothes for a baby girl before and after she is born, so having a shower may just seem like you're asking for presents. Enjoy the whole process and the birth of your baby girl! That's so exciting!

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

My friend was expecting a girl as her second baby, and we had a small 'girl baby' brunch for her. Since most of our group have only boys, I think it was as exciting for us to buy pink, girly things as it was for her to receive them. Congratulations and enjoy the pink!!!

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T.A.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 2 yr. old son & have a baby girl due in 1 month. My mom is throwing me a baby shower since I only have boy things. She really wanted to do it so I said okay. I wouldn't have requested it. Anyhow, I think it's fine! People understand you have boy things & need some girl things. I was surprised at how much I need for this next baby b/c she's the opposite sex. If anyone you invite thinks it's rude, then they probably aren't really good friends anyway. Good luck!

P.S. I just read some of the other posts. I'm shocked so many people are so adamantly against it. I still stick w/ my opinion. A baby is a reason to celebrate. A shower is a celebration, it's not just about the gifts. Plus, you wouldn't plan your own shower, someone else would do it. I really think if anyone you invite is appalled at the lack of etiquette in having another shower, then they probably shouldn't be invited & are just bitter over something else anyway. Plus, in exchange for the gift they are probably getting a nice lunch or brunch, so it's not like they're just dropping gifts off at your door and leaving!

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

I honestlr do not see anything wrong with especially because you are having a girl this time. Your are going to need things for a girl this. I mean of course whatever you can use for this baby that you used for your son do not ask for for this baby shower just ask for things that you know you need.

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J.N.

answers from Chicago on

I would say no to the shower. My oldest was 20 months when I had my twins and we did not have a "shower". I felt it was a bit much since I just had my shower for my first DD less then two years prior.

My close girlfriends had a party for me just before the birth but it was about me (they had someone come to the house for mani/pedis and got a gift card for a cleaning service).

I know after we got home from the hospital everyone brought tons of clothing and gifts when they came to visit.

If you would like to do something fun do a "Big Brother Party" for your son....maybe people could bring him books or things to get him ready for his new job as a big brother. This way the birth of your new DD is celebrated along with making the day special for your little guy.

I went to a "Big Sister" party and thought the idea was very cute and a special way to make her feel a part of the whole new baby thing....

Good Luck & Congrats on your new DD

Jen

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Another shower is not appropriate. Maybe your family and others will give you baby clothes at her birth. They shouldn't come "empty handed" at the time they 1st see the new little wonder.

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think there is anything wrong with someone throwing you a second shower. With so many people finding out what they are having before the baby is born I find that first baby showers I've been to have been very gender specific. If friends or family would like to throw you a second shower--why not? I think it might be odd to plan one for yourself or to have as large of a shower as the first one. I didn't have a baby shower for the second, but my friends planned a girls night and surprised me with gifts (I don't think its all that different!)

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I.C.

answers from Chicago on

No second shower. It's not appropriate. I had a girl first and less than 2 years later I had a boy. I didn't have a second shower. People will come and visit and bring gifts.

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R.S.

answers from Chicago on

you can have a shower after the baby is born "welcoming shower" I know a friend who did that.

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G.S.

answers from Chicago on

No you shouldnt have another shower unless its a small family thing its too much to ask people to buy for you again. thats just my opinion as a guest having to spend more money. most people will buy you a gift when the baby is born.

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L.T.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations on the second baby! But I have to admit, it would seem a little rude to have another shower, especially since the kids will be so close in age. You already will have many of the basics. Sure you will need different clothes, but trust me, people will coming bearing girly gifts for you regardless of you having a shower or not. And they will feel much better about it having made the choice to do so, rather than feeling obligated by attending a shower.
Now having said that, there is no reason a second baby shouldn't deserve a celebration! Just not one that is so focused on gifts. What I did for a friend of mine was throw her a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. It was just a small group of girlfriends and we met at a salon for manis and pedis. The salon even provided a small room in the back where I served finger foods (on skewers so we didn't wreck our nails!) and drinks. Afterwards we all went to a movie. I put "no gifts" on the invitation and gave her a pair of flip-flops that read "It's All About Me!". Just because it's a second baby doesn't mean mama couldn't use a little pampering and some quality time with friends. I didn't want the occasion to go unacknowledged, but also thought another shower was inappropriate, as did she. I wouldn't say you have to do what I did, but maybe you could just suggest to your friend that you would rather just spend some quality time with your close friends or family before-hand, without the gifts. Even a simple night out to dinner would be nice. Trust me you'll get gifts anyway.
P.S. Everyone paid for their own treatments and movie... I just arranged it and brought the food, so the expense was not so bad.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Congrats on baby #2..I was in the same situation. 1st birth a daughter and then a son. I like the post that says that it should be more of a celebration of birth. I would not register for baby gifts.. It is rude and presumptuous. Other than needing baby girl clothes and bedding what would you need to register for? However, if someone is nice enough to want to host a little gathering for you great! Let them. My baby shower was a big one for my daughter but for my son it was a small gathering of 14 people total. Very personal and intimate and those who wanted to do something for me did and were glad to do it.

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