I went back to school shopping yesterday evening for my two sons (one is 12 the other 15) and they were not with me. I asked them to go with me yesterday and both refused! I told them it was their only chance to go with me and they should go. The older son just told me to get him what I knew he would like. In shopping at Target, I bought them various school supplies, some nice clothing clothes, and the usual socks/underwear combo. In particular, I bought the older son a five pack of fruit of the loom white briefs and the other son wears boxer briefs.....the older one has been wearing these since he was out of training pants....lol.. and this is what he bought last year.....when I got home to show him what he bought, he immediately informed me that he now wants the colored ones and has told me to return these......I told him he was going to wear the ones I bought him.....he then said they weren't cool and that's not what other guys his age are wearing.....I was like it's only underwear briefs and ones you've got on now....what's the big difference in white or colored briefs? Does anybody else have a child that has such an issue?
After church this morning, I was able to get my son to go back with me to target to exchange the briefs. I'm glad he went with me this time. He decided to pick out some evolve camo briefs (I believe that's what they are called!). Oh well, no one never knows what your kids are going to want. He told me he actually wanted some of the bikini briefs but they didn't have what he wanted. Oh well......
Sorry, but "tighty whities" are not cool... ;-)
I'd bring them back and get what he wants. High school is hard enough without being embarassed about details like the "wrong" underwear.
If he's telling you, it's probably because he knows. Not because he wants to bug you. Maybe he or some other boy was taunted or teased for that last school year.
Fitting in and not being the center of attention was a high school goal for me. Wasn't it for you? Many times, as parents we forget how unforgiving and cruel high schollers can be. If he still hangs on to his end, just exchange the underwear. Like you said, it's just underwear...
Let him wear the kind of underwear he likes. And yes, boys commonly have a preference in underwear. Even more than outerwear, in my experience. I would return underwear if my boys didn't like them. (And believe me, I've never fussed over or paid much for my boys' clothing. Target and Old Navy, mostly.)
EDIT: Ladies, I love ya, but if your boys are straight, they don't want to go clothes shopping. Mellow out a little. Remember that thing about choosing your battles? Yes on the underwear, no on the drinking, Billy.
This is one of those things where I would pick my battles, and this would not be one of them. I would make him go with me, exchange the ones he doesn't like and have him pick out the ones he does and his lesson is learned that he needs to come with you or give you direction of some kind if he cares. I have a very picky son, has been for many years. His underwear and socks he's the pickiest about. I let him pick out what he wants. If he finds them uncomfortable we don't make him wear them and buy him something else. Once we find something he likes we stick with it from then on. If not we never hear the end of it and it just isn't something worth the hassle.
If all the other kids are wearing colors and he isn't..well..those kids can be insanely cruel. I remember when I was in Jr high and having to change for PE. My mom hadn't let me change to bikini style underwear so I was still wearing full coverage briefs. I was brought to tears from the taunting. I was already feeling uncomfortable in them before the teasing started and had asked for bikinis but was told no. After that she took me to the store and let me buy them. The kids stopped teasing me, they liked my Smurf underwear (I'm dating myself LOL) and I was comfortable. Still the most comfortable in bikinis. It really does a number on a child's self esteem.
If you don't come with me, you don't get to complain.
If it matters to him, it matters. Preteens and teens care about the most ridiculous things. But remember, they are ridiculous to us and not to them. When we were that age, we had these same conversations with our parents.
I really like what Katrina A said. You have to pick your battles, and this is not one of them.
You don't actually care what color his underwear is. Right now you're ticked because taking them back is an inconvenience to you. Let him know that. Next time, he need to try harder to talk to you about what he wants or go with you. Maybe you don't take back immediately but wait until it's convenient, and definitely take him with you.
on the one hand, ok maybe tightie whities aren't cool...BUT
you did ask him to go with you. i say tough. next time you go to the store maybe you can exchange them...but sure don't make an extra trip.
and i hope he said all of this nicely to you. because that was a spoiled brat move, to refuse to go, and then complain about what you got him. i'd be ticked if it was me. (and then i would not buy him ANYthing unless he got off his high horse and went with me)
He chose not to go with you, so he should wear what you purchased.
That said, if he has to change for P.E. it might be worth it to exchange the briefs....
LBC
My FOUR year old son already has preferences on clothing...shocking!
BUT they opted out of the shopping trip. Tell your son next time "rethink" letting old mom do your shopping.
Tell him he can 'bring sexy back' with the white ones unless he wants to do the return HIMSELF! LOL!
There IS an upside to me being an older first time mom. I put up with a lot less of the sheningans when it comes to this stuff.
When my son hit about 12 he began having definite opinions on all of clothing even underwear and socks. But, he didn't want to be bothered with shopping with me for his things. So, we reached an "agreement" - If I asked him to go with me for *his* things and he declined, he was stuck with whatever I purchased (because I was not making another trip to return items).
Okay, I may have skewed the deal a little when I purposely bought a clearance sale shirt I knew he would hate and the wrong (gasp) socks.
He went with me to return the items and continues to go with me when I shop for his clothing. He is 15 now and fairly picky about his clothes. Last year announcing, at back to school time, that JC Penney, where we have shopped for school clothing his entire freaking life, was not cool and he would not wear anything from there. Ugh, we had to scour the mall looking for things that I could afford and he would wear.
I am sorry K., it is just starting - I never knew teen boys could be should such fashionistas.
This could be the difference of getting beat up, or being left alone....
And kids see the underwear on the top of the jeans, or in changing in the locker room....
I say respect your child like you would like to be respected. If he wants to wear a different thing, exchange it...or better yet.. make a list of the other things you may need and give him the receipt and underwear and tell him to meet you at such and such when he is done...
He is a teen now...Now is the time to show him that you respect him and his opinions..otherwise you may just have a teen who does not come to you when thing really matter....
I'm sure that it's important to him, so in the future I would buy him the colored ones.
If you're planning on returning to the store in the near future, he can come along and make the exchange. If your not planning on going soon, or he doesn't want to come along, then tough. Do not allow him to be a brat and walk all over you.
Yeah, very normal, I hear this stuff all the time lol. I was that child growing up except my mom didn't tell me she was going at all, she'd just go and come back with straight up strange mis matched clothes lol. You sound like you know their style, I would tell him he is wearing them and if he wants the others he will have to pay for them himself or return them himself.
My kids are 24 and 16, a girl and a boy. I learned early on not to shop without them. My daughter is tiny, my son is big, I just could not run the risk of buying stuff and then having to return it because it didn't fit or whatever. That's a HUGE pain and waste of time.
I know that many boys are not big fans of shopping, but you're just going to have to make a rule that them going with you is manadatory or you will not be buying them anything.
You can't read their minds. You can't guess their sizes, especially with the way boys can grow and their body shapes change so fast.
If they don't go with you, and bring a happy attitude, they don't get new school stuff.
As for the underwear, your 15 year old is high school age. All high schools I'm aware of make kids change for PE and I can see your son not wanting to get ribbed for wearing tidy whities. He's worn them since he was out of training pants, but that was a long time ago, Mom.
I would exchange the underwear but make him go with you. I would tell him that if he'd gone with you the first time you asked, you wouldn't be making a second trip.
Like I said, you can't read his mind or possibly know what's "cool" from one minute to the next so he's just gonna have to buck up and go with you from now on.
That's just my opinion. It's a way to avoid hassles.
Good luck!
Well maybe he now realizes he should have gone with you.. He can either wear them or not.. or he can go back with you and exchange them himself..
That is the way mom would have handled this and the way I handled it with our daughter.. she learned very quickly, to either go with me, or to go with what I purchased.. Otherwise it was her responsibility to return or to exchange it herself.. She was so shy, she hated having to deal with the exchanging..
Is this a gym locker room thing? Otherwise no one will see them.
I have a friend in another state who takes her daughter to Justice and other nicer stores. She picks out most of her clothes. Then brings them home and won't wear them. She picks some favorites and nothing else even gets the tags taken off. I suggested t my friend that next year she give her daughter a gift card with a list of items and sizes she needs. Anything not on the list will be taken back. That way she is shopping and picking out things with no influence of anyone else. She is 10 and old enough to learn how to shop and develop her own style.
I suggested she put down things like:
Tops for school, size large girls (10-12)
1 pair of shoes, girls size 4
X girls jeans, size 12
girls underwear, size large, any style okay
and so forth.
I don't know when they see each others underwear anyway! LOL
Mine is 8 and he has white and colored boxer briefs.
My oldest never cared what he wore until he turned 13 (his current age). Now his clothes are very important to him, even his underwear, but he doesn't care about brands, thankfully. He does know that if he's going to be picky, he has to come shopping with me.
My youngest is only 7, and he came out of the womb caring about fashion.
Both of them wear boxer briefs. :)
