I absolutely agree that a SAHM is invaluable and that families need to be prepared. My best friend's parents died in a crash on New Year's Eve almost 3 years ago and everything went crazy. Insurance $ helped, but because there was no will (they were only in their mid-40s) the 2 kids are STILL fighting and it will go to court (TO BEGIN)sometime next year. It's crazy. The family has fallen apart over everything, the son started doing drugs over the stress and now the kids no longer speak to each other except through lawyers. Who would imagine this would happen to a really normal family? As soon as our son was born, we started the conversations and planning for the worst case scenario. We aren't looking for bad things to happen, but want to make provisions to insure that what our biggest priority/responsibility, our son, is taken care of. There's a few things to think about. For example, I just took for granted that my mom would be the person who would take my son, but after talking to my husband, I realized that would be a really heavy burden: imagining her in her 60s or 70s with a teenage boy wouldn't be good. We settled on my brother and his family and had a real talk with them, and that's what we've done. We looked at responsibility and family life, that they were very willing to take this responsibility, young enough to raise Joseph to adulthood should something happen to us, that we have the same priorities (Christianity, education, life experiences, charities, etc), similar styles in discipline, stuff like that. We're also close enough in relationship that my son wouldn't be "traumatized" over having to move in with someone new. Fortunately, after we did this unpleasant task, we know that is a burden we don't have to worry about anymore and can go on doing what we're supposed to do: live life to the fullest.
Another thing we've done in case of an emergency is to add my mom's name (again, we're very close and trust her implicitly)to our checking account and one "emergency credit card" that we never use. She doesn't live here or have checks, and the credit card with her name on it is actually here where we keep our checks and financials, but if we were hurt or hospitalized or whatever, she'd have access to our money to make sure bills are paid and our son is cared for with as little disruption as possible. That way there's no waiting around in probate and worrying about cash for immediate needs. Conversely, I am on my mom's account for the same thing. On a less morbid note, this came in handy one time when I was single, out of town, on a job and my debit card became demagnetized. I couldn't get money and my mom was able to just go to the bank and pull out my money while I waited for my new card to arrive. People always think to do this with a spouse, but IF there's a person in your life that you could trust, I'd have a backup that you're not living with or traveling with. If not at work, my husband and I are always together. We could both be affected if there was an accident and it makes me feel good to know that someone else could take care of my business easily, without waiting for redtape to clear. But we're not in any way "morbid-minded". We've just seen from experience that getting rid of loose ends in your life frees you up to live more.....freely.
