Rules for the Grocery Store

Never go when they are hungry or tired. I used to let my son pick a 'new' vegetable to try each time we went. And even so it was just way easier to go alone.

Google "Social Stories Grocery Shopping"

I found this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRGWFjFz2So

Also, if you can go when it's not crowded - later in the evening, etc., that may help. It reduces sensory overload.

If previous trips have been stressful to you both, my advice is to make sure you're creating the best scenario possible.

1 - Go during a non-peak time such as evening on a weekday to avoid crowds.
2 - Start with super short shops, just 1-2 items, to minimize the time. Each trip, add another item or two if the previous trip was a success.
3 - Use a list, and organize it by store layout. Stick to the list and try to never backtrack for a missed item.
4 - Work up the time spent in the store to 15 minutes, 20 minutes, etc. You will know when you're approaching the limit.
5 - Be mindful of his sensory triggers. If he finds sound overwhelming, noise-canceling headphones help. If the smell of seafood bothers him, avoid the meat counter. Etc.
6 - Be prepared to abandon ship and leave if you must, for his safety/well being. Have it in your head from the start so that you're not overly frustrated when it happens.

My 7 (almost 8) year old daughter loves to go shopping with me. I always tell her 'one hand on the cart'. She has to keep one hand on the shopping cart. This keeps her from wondering off. Although she is getting older now, so we don't always apply that rule anymore. We did when she was younger though. I also use it as a game to help with her reading and math skills. She is in charge of the shopping list. She helps me make the list before hand too. This way she is more invested in helping once we are there. I give her the list and a pen. She crosses everything off the list as we put the items in the cart. This helps her not to get bored and distracted. I also ask her to find certain items at a certain price point. This helps with her math. Like I ask her to find the spaghetti sauce that's less than $3, for example. Or if oranges are $1.50 each, grab $6 worth of oranges. Things like that. I hope that helps. Good luck!

Our rule is always "stay where I can see you and you can see me."

One of my favorite things to keep kids occupied and focused is to enlist their help. "If you help me get the shopping done quickly, then we can do something fun when we get home."

Start with a short shopping trip, maybe 10 minutes or just a few items. Keep his hands busy by giving him a special job---being in charge of the grocery list. Let him know how important this is and that it is his very own, special job. Give him the list and a pen. Or better yet, have him choose a special pen or highlighter. Whatever he wants. When you get the milk, ask him to cross off milk from the list.

Continue to have him cross off items as you get them. If there is a word he doesn't know, just point to it and ask him to cross it off. By keeping the trips short, encouraging him and reminding him what a great help he is, you can establish a familiar routine with him. Remind him if you can get the list done quickly and get in and out of the store under a certain time, when you get home, you can play a game together, read together, go for a bike ride----or whatever activity he would like to do with you

Do this several times until he is comfortable and has the routine down, and then add a few easy jobs in addition to being in charge of the list. "Joey, please choose seven apples, and put them in this bag. Then put the bag in the cart and cross it off of the list." I'd still keep the trips relatively short---marathon grocery shopping is hard for any small child!!

The key is keeping him occupied by giving him constant, but easy tasks and keeping the trips short until the routine is really well established. Once he does well with the routine, you can try a longer list and see how that goes. If you can go when the store is not as busy, that will be a plus, too.

First couple times - don't make them BIG fill-the-cart-up shopping trips.
Try just running in for a few (like less than 5) things.
Very gradually work up to longer shopping trips.
It's almost easier to leave them at home till they are teens rather than to take them food shopping.

I use the same "rule" mentioned below by Mountain Mama, one hand must be on the cart. I started that when I only had 2 little ones. If bad behavior or letting go of the cart, they would then have to ride in the cart, very cramped because groceries were all around them.

I would suggest starting with shorter trips, not when you need an entire week's worth of groceries. And each time extend the trip a little longer.

Also, with good behavior maybe the reward would be he gets to pick what is served for dinner the evening of the shopping trip.

Good luck!

For one of our boys it was "one hand on the cart at all times." For the other, it was "hands in your pockets at all times." We never went during what I like to call "the Witching Hour" from 3 p - 6 p. Neither of the boys could handle anything during those hours, even at home. I always gave 3 expectations (no more or they would forget) right before we walked in the store - i.e., hand on cart, no yelling, 1 snack choice.

I will say that I really don't enjoy grocery shopping, and I enjoy it less when I have anyone with me - kids, husband, etc. While I can take kids with me if I have to, I generally avoid it like the plague whenever possible.

Good luck!

Does your supermarket have the scanner system where you scan your card, take the hand-held scanner and then zap the bar codes of all your groceries? I use that and it's a huge time saver! And kids love to have that job. The advantages are:
1) Instead of touching each item 3 times (put in cart, put on conveyer belt, put in bags), you only do it once - scan it and put it in your bags (either your own reusable ones or new plastic/paper ones provided at the entrance to the store). Then you just go to the self-checkout lane, have the scanner read by the register, click "pay" and you're done. You're out of the store much faster
2) The child has incentive to stay by the cart because he has a job that's fun. You take the items off the shelves and he scans - that controls what you're selecting.
3) You know exactly what you've spent and, if necessary, can show the child you're over your limit or getting close to it.
4) If anything doesn't scan easily, just put it in the child seat of the cart and deal with it at the check out.
5) If a child acts up and can't be contained, you can at least quickly check out with a partial order that's already totaled and bagged, just not paid for.
6) You can weigh and price produce items if you want to so it doesn't have to be done at check out
7) There is no candy in the self-checkout lanes.

I also organize my list by location so we go straight through the market in a way that prohibits a lot of backtracking. The market might be able to give you a list of items by aisle - mine has this list posted through out the store so an employee can quickly look to see where an item is that a customer requests. You could make up a master list on the computer with your most common items (by aisle number), print out a bunch of blanks, and then just make an X next to them at home if you need them on this next trip. Leave a few blank lines for added specialty items.

Good luck.

Mine did best when I had them help me. When we were in front of the apples, I asked them "can you pick out 5 apples for me?". When we were in the pasta aisle, I asked them "Pick out 2 boxes of pasta that you want." (It doesn't really matter what shape the pasta is in for most dishes). If I have a coupon for something specific, I show them the picture on the coupon and ask them to help me find that specific thing. Since I have 2 boys, I also put one in charge of the list - reminding me what is on it, and crossing things off as we put them in the cart.

In the self-checkout line, they scan and I bag.

If they misbehaved, we did the "one hand on the cart" rule. But I usually try keeping them busy with helping in some way as my first option.

All that said, if I have the option to go by myself, I will do that instead because I can get it done with more quickly.

I saw an article about a "quiet time' for shoppers who had disorders or were sensitive to sounds. They have an hour in the morning like 7 to 8 or 8 to 9 to shop without any noise or sounds. Perhaps you could figure out a time like that to shop so that it does not over stimulate him.

The article was in England but it could be here in some stores.

Do try it on a limited basis and build up. Good luck to you.

the other S.

Something I just heard about and wanted to pass along...wish I had this option when mine were little. Kroger and I think HEB (maybe others) have a service that for $5 they will deliver the groceries you've ordered online to the curb for you. This could be very helpful on those days that are impossible to get anything done otherwise.

I avoid taking my kids too. It's just easier to do it myself. I would probably make it an event just for teaching him at first. I wouldn't expect to get all my shopping done. I'd have him help make a list of something he wants to make with you and go shopping for just that one meal or dessert. He would help find the things and put them in the cart. Then come home and unload with you. I work up to more, if that goes well. Baby steps. He's young.

When mine were little I would first organize my list by each thing I needed aisle by aisle and start with what I needed most.

Then I organize the cart by how I am going to put things away at home. This is so when I check out all the things are organized by group on the checkout belt (and bagged together).

This was helpful because sometimes my kids could barely hold it together for the shopping trip, let alone putting groceries away. So I could just grab the frozen or cold stuff to unpack and leave the other stuff to unpack when my kids were more settled.

I also had mine keep a hand on the cart or hold hands with each other. Sometimes I would tell them how many things we had to get and have them countdown each time we got an item, but these were the smaller list days

I agree with doing a few practice runs for just a few small things first, and to not go (if you can) when the children were tired or hungry.

Good luck!

No running. Stay to the side of the aisle so other people can get past you. Do not ask for everything you see (I'll tell them you can pick one snack or it is your turn to pick the cereal or what kind of juice should we get, etc.). If I say no to something do not keep asking for it. I give my children little tasks. Check off the list. Get items. Remind me we need cat food. Just little things to keep them occupied.

Unless I have to take my girls with me, I don't. So much easier and faster to do it alone.

I give them a choice - walk with your hand on the cart or sit in the cart. I put them in charge of the list - help me find x, cross off y, etc.

Honestly, though, I dislike taking them. They slow me down, distract me, find inventive ways to whine, complain or generally raise a ruckus. I enjoy grocery shopping so it goes from being an outing I enjoy to an expedition steeped in irritation. I think finding a good time to go shopping can be challenging also which only compounds the touchiness of the situation. Sunday after 8 p.m., early Saturday morning before 9 or mid-week later are possible choices but it does vary with holidays and school. All in all my favorite time to go is after bath and bedtime Sunday night. I put on my headphones, stroll along and enjoy the experience. I enjoy trying new produce and products which takes time and patience. Even my husband gets exasperated with me but he does like the end result. As he says "I enjoy what you cook but I don't like going shopping with you. See you when you get back." Good luck.

I love jill K's list while I try to go grocery shopping without any of kids (NT and Autism) it is an important skill. I do take 1 or more when needed it's just faster without them. I just wanted to add I find giving them a specific job (pushing the cart) is more tangible then "stay near me". Getting specific items reading the prices etc.

Wishing you good luck. hTH

My kids don't have Aspergers, but I NEVER take them to the store...even when they got older. I plan all my trips to the store when my husband is home or when they are in a supervised activity when I don't have to be present. Yes, it's a pain to wait, but I can't stand it when they want to grab everything and I have to keep saying no no no.
By the way, I won't let my husband set foot in a grocery store without me (or with me)...he comes home with a ton of junk and stuff we end up throwing away!