Rude While Playing Video Games

Personally I see nothing wrong with it as long as its not interfering with her daily life. My son and his papa play this way and its there thing and they both enjoy it. Though I did put a stop to throwing controllers. Because if hes big enough to play games then hes old enough to control his moods when he looses. Its all fun, and No real loosers.
When hes done, the crazy attitude is also gone and that i can deal with.
Bonding times, we all do it differently

For the most part, it is valuable for the child to learn that different people and situations have different boundaries on acceptable behavior.

That said, I would sit down in a calm moment, when she's not even thinking about video games already, and ask her privately once if she likes the way that video game interactions go with her daddy. If she says yes, tell her "well, if you ever need help figuring out how to handle something that does get uncomfortable, let me know, because I am always here for you." And if she says that she's not really okay with it, ask her what she thinks she can do to change it, and sort of lead her with questions into how to change it for herself so that she still feels like she has some power in the situation, which I think she wants. Most kids do. If she feels a need to change it, it would be better for all of you if that information comes from her to her daddy.

It is the dynamic between her and Dad... and it was created by Dad/your Husband.

Since your daughter cannot always deal with it... (like and adult)... your Husband should key it down. My opinion.
It is not helping her or making her feel good... and your Husband saying that that is his daddy-daughter time... is to me an excuse... AND IT IS YOUR BUSINESS... THAT IS YOUR DAUGHTER TOO.

Sorry, but I think he is doing her a dis-service. He is not teaching her anything great except to razz people. Maybe he was raised like that... or maybe he thinks it funny... but it is at her expense.

The thing is, I don't agree with him. And i think you need to be more proactive. She is your child too... and a Dad does not have "dibs" on her just because that is how he likes to play games.

Example: a young child is being tickled by an adult. The child laughs & giggles. But after a time the child doesn't like it and says to stop. The adult doesn't stop and says to the child "don't you have a sense of humor?" and keeps tickling the child. The child then thinks its no fun and/or cries. The Adult STILL tickles/razzes the child or calls her/him "take that idiot! How do you feel now sucker!"... and keeps tickling the child. As the tickling goes on... it is obvious the child is now suffering... and it is NOT funny nor can the child handle the "humor" of the adult. After all... this is not a child's game anymore... it is an adult version of humor... much like a college frat boy would do to his other Fraternity brothers in a joke as a ruse.

The thing is... your daughter is 8... she is a girl... and who the heck would want to teach a girl to say "SUCKER" and "IDIOT" and act like a bar-room drunk idiot and use crass humor????
I wouldn't. And at the rate your Husband is going... I don't think he is funny either. Not at all.

My Husband comes from another culture and has his own humor too. But sometimes, my daughter simply does NOT think he is funny nor the least bit fun.... because his humor is NOT how my daughter is, nor for her mentality etc. And, so I had to 'teach' my Husband... that she is NOT like his brothers... and he can't treat her the way he is with his Buddies... this is a 7 year old girl for crying out loud. NOR would I want him to do that with my 3.5 year old son. You teach a child quality..... and guidance and proper fun... when you are with a child. Not use the moment for propelling your own gross humor on a child... in a real knuckle-headed way.

All the best,
Susan

It sound like the words & actions are rude durring the game & after. I would talk to them seperately & say that there is no need to have rude words with or without the game. It has obviously gotten out of hand if she tried to kick him in the jewels. he needs to realize that girls are different from boys & he needs to treat her more like a girl & less like a boy.
My husband picks on our boys (8 & 4) quite a bit, but they pick back & we don't say words like idiot or stupid. Yet I still have to get on to the boys & my DH because their rough housing gets out of hand at times.

God bless!

Seems to me this interaction is too much about winning/losing, and not enough about skill, mutual respect, healthy competitiveness and good sportsmanship. I would be concerned.

My 4yo grandboy is learning the joys of "trash-talking," but seems to recognize that it must be kept within limits. We are all teaching him how to win and lose graciously, too, and no adult would never taunt or humiliate him, especially if he's upset.

That's a dark impulse your husband is yielding to, and has more to do with Daddy exercising power inappropriately than healthy play. I'd want to impress upon him the importance of saving the "male bonding" for man to man relationships.

I know some people think this is okay and not a problem, but included in learning manners is learning sportsmanship. If she plays games with kids her age, does she behave this way? If she does, she won't have any friends, and this isn't behavior that would be tolerated in elementary level soccer, softball, etc. The fighting/sulking apparently doesn't bother her if she continues to want to play these games with dad - but what I wonder is what other activities he does with her? If this is their "daddy daughter" time then maybe she thinks if she doesn't continue to play the games with him, she'll never have him to herself. I would encourage him to do other things to spend time with her - take her to movies or sporting events, get her on a softball or soccer team and be the coach, going bowling, etc.

I would have a talk with your husband separately, not while he is playing with your daughter. Explain the sportsmanship issues brought up here, as well as the option of other daddy-daughter bonding experiences. Does she have a Saturday sport he can take her to, can he take her to mini golf and an ice cream, perhaps she can help him work in the yard,etc. He is forming part of her personality, the part that she will use to interact with other males most likely, so he nees to keep in mind if this is the way he wants her to be perceived. Not an easy conversation to have, but perhaps best brought up privately, or in a letter if it allows you time to word things non-threateningly. Good luck.

the mere fact that you are not at peace with her behavior means that something is not right. even if it is just a video game, we, as parents, need to make sure that our kids behave within the boundaries of what's acceptable. habits are formed everytime we do things repeatedly and you wouldn't want your daughter to develop this habit. you and your husband should agree on what's acceptable for BOTH of you in terms of how she responds to winning and losing and make sure your daughter knows it. if you are not united with your husband, and he tolerates her behavior, your daughter will not change.

Let it be. My son and his friends sit in there calling each other names, too. It's video game etiquette, I think. :)

On the other hand, if it makes her rude when she's not playing -- I've noticed this can happen -- that's another issue. Sometimes I've found the games have to be taken away for a couple of days so they can return to their normal selves.

I'd be a little uncomfortable with it too, but I think it is probably pretty much out of your control. You can try to offer your husband a few ideas on how to tone it down to help your SD avoid being a sore loser, but if he won't bite then there is nothing you can do. She is learning from you and from her friends what is acceptable. We all wear different faces depending on who we are with.

She will probably do anything to please Dad. He has created this. You could point out to him that she is maturing and certainly he doesn't want her to be a sore loser or to lose friends, but again........if he isn't on the game plan you have no choice but to let it go.

If she is only doing it with dad, as her friend called her on it and she doesn't do it with you, then it's "their thing". I agree that sportsmanship should be discussed to make sure this doesn't happen with anyone else. My hubs and son play videos and they constantly razz eachother nothing too out of control your basic "I got you sucker", but this only happens with video games. When they play catch, ride bikes play board games they don't act that way. If dad is o.k with it then do as you were and take that time for yourself.

What's the problem? Who's the winner now is much nicer than who's the loser. She sounds like she knows you don't appreciate this attitude so she doesn't do it with you. As well, she seems to understand it wasn't appreciated with the friend so she backed off.