Respecting the Office

Updated on June 28, 2011
R.J. asks from Seattle, WA
18 answers

Okay, this has been on my mind for awhile.

Respect the office, if not the man.

I teach my son to call a Police Officer named Joe Jackson, Officer Jackson. Or if he doesn't know the name then simply Officer, or Sir or Ma'am.

I teach my son to call a teacher named Joe Jackson, Mr. Jackson.

I teach my son to call a soldier named Joe Jackson, Proper Rank (like Sgt,, Capt., etc.) Jackson.

I teach my son to call a doctor named Joe Jackson, Dr. Jackson

I teach my son to call a priest named Joe Jackson the correct honorific for that religion

I teach my son to call a judge named Joe Jackson, Your Honor or Judge Jackson

I teach my son to call the President of the United States named Joe Jackson, President Jackson

REGARDLESS about how I feel about the individual I show proper respect to the OFFICE.

Parents complain vehemently about 'kids these days' being disrespectful, and yet, how many gazillions of times have we heard right wingers slurring the office by sneering "Obama", or left wingers slurring the office saying "Bush"? Our highest office in the land is staffed by a cocktail server? Or by a single name pop-star???

If I hear one more person just say "Obama", I may scream. It's PRESIDENT Obama. It's PRESIDENT Bush.

<grin> Obviously a pet peeve

It's just something I don't understand; People complain ALL the time about how disrespectful kids are. How are they supposed to learn if we, ourselves, don't show respect where respect is due?

Do you respect the office... or are teachers, police officers, elected officials, judges, doctors, military, priests, etc. only given their honorific if you like them as individuals?

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Featured Answers

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the respect thing.

I disagree that Clinton balanced the budget when he was president. It was the Republican House that balanced the budget -- and they were fought all the way by Clinton. He was the president then, yes, but it was the Republican Congress that did it.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Well overall I agree with you. I do the same, although truth be told, I had to start talking about George W. as MR. Bush, I had to drop the president, I just did...SORRY! ;) I think the real point, though, is about context. I do think it's okay to refer to people in the media, entertainment or politics by their last name only. I don't find it disrespectful as much as I find it a shorthand to talk about them, just like when you study in school you learn to categorize authors, presidents, etc. by their last names. Now if you're talking to them in person, then yes absolutely all the other rules apply!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Preach it, R.! Amen!

Funny how the semantics change...

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Ditto.
High Five
Right On, R.
Shaka to you, too.

I respect the Office and teach my kids as well.
But also teach them to DISCERN, individual character and innuendos and scenarios.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Ditto Theresa N.

I'm too casual of a person to say President this and Officer that, when discussing something in my own home, but I think people should be respected when interacting one-on-one. So if I ever meet Obama (even though he has disappointed me) I will call him Mr. President.

Sadly, it's a sign of the times. When people can shout out insults in Congress, and tv is rife with reality shows where people drop the F bomb and insult each other left and right, the concept of respect is sadly lacking in our culture.

I was listening to something recently on NPR, and the speaker said that there was a time not too long ago when, whether people had voted for him or not, once a president was in office, he became "my president." He said that nowadays, if people don't vote for a president, they feel free to regard him with complete contempt.

I hope the pendulum swings back some.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I really don't like Obama. But when I talk about politicians, especially the president of the United States, I have always told my kids, I respect the office, but not necessarily the person occupying the office.

That was the way I have been with all the tax and spend presidents. I also taught my kids that if they don't vote, they have no right to complain about who is in office.

BTW, do you know who was the only president to pay off the national debt? The only time the country was debt free was when he was in office.

Good luck to you and yours.

That president was Andrew Jackson. The government owned millions of acres of land in the Lousiana Purchase. Jackson sold that land to homesteaders and settlers and used the money to pay off the national debt. That was before we had any national parks.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I am a respectful adult. My husband is a wonderful, respectful man. We say Obama. I do NOT respect Obama. If I respected him, I would call him President Obama. A human being does not just get my respect, because they are a human being. They have to be someone worthy of respect. I respect the office, but I don't respect the man...so I don't extend my respect to him. If a police officer is driving like a nut, taking advantage if people, being a terrible officer, and not respecting the law he is supposed to protect...I will not refer to him as Officer _____. He has done nothing to deserve my respect. If a Dr. botches surgeries, prescribes dangerous medicine, or purposefully harms someone...I will not refer to him as Dr. ____. He does not deserve my respect.

Obama, is the president. I did not vote him in. I do not respect his beliefs and policy. I do not respect his presidency. I will not give him respect he has not earned, and refer to him as "President."

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I absolutely respect the office. I understand all that goes into earning that title. It annoys me too. He's our president and disrespecting him brings the whole country into disrespect. However, since he left office, I have been known to refer to President Bush as Jr and Dubya. I didn't do that while he was a sitting president. But, imo, he did so much to embrass our nation and diminish the office, that I have no trouble refering to him with the same amount of respect with which he carried himself.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Obama.

Bush.

(just seeing if you'll start screaming...hehe!)

I do hear what you're saying, and I feel somewhat similarly, but not to the extent of what you feel about it. It's definitely not a pet peeve of mine...or even close. You can call the president "Mr" too, and it's totally fine. I don't like to make the president be above everyone else, when he's supposed to be just one of us, so I kind of like "Mr" for that.

I do call the president solely by their last name most of the time - regardless of the president...whether I like them or not.

A little bit of my issue is I've lost a lot of respect for ALL politics and most all politicians. It seems that what was once an ideal system has turned into ridiculous games and I have very little respect for any politician, except the rare one. Most all politicians, regardless of party, are continuing to corrupt our system, and I don't feel one little bit bad referring to any of them by their last name solely. I totally get what you're saying and why you feel that way. You're respecting the office. I feel like they are almost mocking the office (regardless of party) and I have a hard time giving the individual that level of respect. Though I do hold a very high respect for the office itself.

Most of the other people you listed (officers, military, priests, etc), we always use the title in front, but we also rarely talk about them. With the president, whoever he is, we talk about him more, and it would be a pain (IMO) to ALWAYS says "President Obama" this and "President Obama" that. I do refer to whoever as "the president" often...but anyway. There's my take. I think it's great you do it how you do. I definitely don't feel the same level of passion about it though. And my kids are very respectful and thoughtful of others...even if I don't always use "president" in front of their names.

A pet peeve of mine is when I get the baby to bed and one of the other kids scream while playing and wakes her up. DRIVES. ME. CRAZY. So, we all have our pet peeves. hehe. Oh, and when I'm putting a DVD on and am in a hurry, and the freakin' DVD won't let me skip to the menu and I have to watch 1-2 minutes of previews. Drives me crazy! (I totally know I'm veering...hehe...but since you shared a pet peeve, I thought I'd share a couple of mine!).

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

OMG, I LOVE Joe Jackson!

I DO respect the office, similarly to the way I respect members of our military. It is not a job I would want. But I am grateful SOMEONE wants it!

However, I think the lax reference to our president represents the times, which has become very casual.

Honestly I cannot decide if it bothers me or not. I have three teenagers in the house, so I'm constantly surrounded by the Next Generation Speak.

Our degree of reverence IS changing, and the TEXTING generation will soon be in charge.

:)

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K.J.

answers from Chicago on

I guess I don't think that failing to use the title takes away from the office. Rather, it is the rest of the comment and the tone that can do so.

For example, my hubby is a doctor and when we talk about our kids' pediatrician, we don't talk about Dr. Smith...we just say Smith. On the other hand, sometimes we talk about some of my hubby's colleagues who he feels are subpar, and instead of saying Dr. Jones, it is JONES with a sneer ;-)

I am a history teacher, and I would find it very laborious to always preface everything with President George Washington...Pres John Adams...Pres Franklin Delano Roosevelt...Pres Nixon, etc. (Haha, I just noticed that I couldn't even bring myself to type "President" out for each one.) I think the word "President" is implied.

I say Bush, Clinton, Reagan, Lincoln, etc.

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree, R.! Although I abhorred President Bush (both of them, but the younger one I abhorred far more than the elder one), and although President Obama has disappointed me sorely, they are still the President. We need to elevate our level of discourse in order to solve the problems in our country. OUR country, OUR president, whether or not we agree with him.

And 8kidsdad, I believe the correct answer to your question is Mr. Andrew Jackson (a Democrat) back in the 1830's! He was the last president with no national debt. Mr. Bill Clinton (also a Democrat) was the last president to balance the budget and have a surplus of revenue vs expenses, in 1998.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes I do and I taught my son the same way your are teaching yours.

Blessings...

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I couldn't agree with you more!!! It bothers me too! I address people in that form as a sign of respect and I do respect the office. I am teaching my kids to do the same. Good for you!

M

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

yuppers i am with you on respect, all my posts about children are about how we MUST teach them respect.....and although I LOATHE our current President Obama, I have respect for him & everyone else whether or not they hold any rank at all, i just wish he would show us Christian Conservatives some respect

on that note i am too lazy on the computer & will continue not to capitalize, punctuate properly, sometimes misspell & not correct it etc :)

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I usually refer to our president, either party, as the POTUS.

Sorry - it goes back to grad school days when I fell in love with all things acronym.

IKR?

:P

PS: First Lady = FLOTUS Supreme Court = SCOTUS

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

Depends on the conversational setting. When speaking casually about a person who serves in an office...I feel it's fine to use their first or last name only. If speaking to my son about his teacher, it's always Mrs./Ms./Miss So & So. If actually speaking to a person who serves in office, they should be addressed accordingly as President ____, Father____, Officer_____ and so on. But again, I don't feel it's a big deal to use only first/last names otherwise...and I am a respectful person.

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S.G.

answers from Yakima on

I would say I do respect the office, or peoples' titles, it is how I was raised and how I raise my children. Something also funny about me that I recently noticed: if I meet someone and they are introduced using their full name, I have a hard time calling them by a nickname ha ha. Like if I meet an "Andrea" and people call.her "Andy" I can't seem to call her that....not sure why :) thanks for this post, I agree that kids are increasingly disrespectful! I have worked in public schools in various grades for the past 11 years, while there is still some respect, the level of respect has lowered, if that makes sense :-)

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