Replacing Binki

At 2 mos old I think he's entitled to use a pacy. Why not?? My guys were older than that and I was trying to get them to use it. Just pick the little love up and give him comfort. When he's old enough to have a degree of rationale then you can take away the binky. Maybe he'll even want to give it and be done with it.

Hi J.,

My question is, why are you so against your child having a binki. Why do we expect our children to not have things that comfort them, when we use them every day? Ours come in different forms... .a favorite sweatshirt, a fav pair of pjs, a cup of coffee.... we use comfort items every day to help us through ...but we expect our children to not have any.

My daughter uses a binki, but only at night. I really don't see the problem. she's 19 months old and likes that comfort to help her fall asleep. She looses it in the night, sometimes she finds it, sometimes it stays out all night. It's up to her. I don't go in and give it back, so I'm certainly not a slave to it.

I firmly believe that even at 4 months old babies are not manipulative. They cry because they need something. I guess I always get confused when we expect infants to behave as adults, not need us, not cry and not bother us.

I know my ideas will not fall in line with what many other moms believe, but I also know I'm not alone in my methods.

Just a side note, at first I thought I didn't want my daughter to have a binki either. I didn't give her one for about a month and a half. I finally gave up. Babies NEED to suck. It's a comfort measure for them. Even at the ripe old age of 2 months old, they need to suck. I just see it as easier to wean off a comfort item later when they can be part of the process and understand what is going on.

All infants NEED to suck ALOT, even when it's not when they eat. It's always been my thought that if you have a baby who really needs alot of sucking, a binki is preferrable because he might just take to sucking his thumb. You can't take that away when he's 2-ish. I have 3 girls (now adults) #1 and #3 wouldn't take a binki and never sucked their thumbs. Neither were big "suckers". BUT #2 really needed that extra. She was a breastfed baby and was wearing me out. I finally gave her a binky and life was good! She was happy and I didn't have blistered, bleeding nipples anymore. As time went on she would have 1 in her mouth, 1 in each hand and several in her bed and around the house. I slowly "lost" the ones in the bed and around the house. She lost the ones in her hands and we gave the last one to the binki "fairy" to give to a baby who REALLY needed it. We didn't do it cold turkey. She was done with it at about 2. It's great that you are looking forward on this but a 5 week old sweetie just wants to eat, poop,suck and be with his mom. The sucking instinct is for eating AND comfort. If the binki helps, why not let him have it? He's only 5 weeks old and only knows what his instincts tell him. I am sure he will be over it before pre-school!

I agree with Renee H 100%

I'd say if replacing it works, then do it, if it isn't a magic cure to get him to stop fussing, then don't. 3-4 more weeks of using it should make him a slave to it. :)

I can't help and feel a little heart ache for the little guy. Pulling the plug on the binki and sleep training looming around the corner... I would agree that no one likes to be a 'slave' to the binki but at some point we need to understand the biology of babies. At 5 weeks old, your baby is just getting used to life outside the womb. His nervous system and synapse connections are forming--i would do whatever you could do keep him comfortable. There is a reason that the newborn cry is so uncomfortable to tolerate... our gut is telling us to do something to stop the crying. I had a lot of preconceived ideas before i was blessed with a baby girl who taught me to rethink my expectations... A pacifier brought her much comfort and we used it for naps and bedtime faithfully till 3. Sucking was a source of comfort and it just didn't make sense to take it from her--her comfort was more important than mine. Then baby number 2 has never shown any interest in a pacifier--and we actually tried to get her to take it! While i do respect that you are a full time working mom with your hands full--and no doubt exhausted--try to remember that this baby is just trying to be comfortable and behaving totally normal. It is frustrating and exhausting that babies wake so often, however, it is their biological design. I wish we as a society supported our mothers better instead of spending all of our time convincing mothers that we are doing something wrong if our baby doesn't sleep 12 hours by 3 months. Every baby is different and I do respect different parenting styles, but i would always say to follow the cues of your baby. If he's leading you somewhere you are uncomfortable with, that may be your challenge, not his. At 5 weeks old, you are at a very difficult point. My low was 7 weeks...I distinctly remember thinking "i just can't do this anymore"! Low and behold I made it so hang in there and take each day, one at a time.

If you are planning on not replacing the binki when using a more formal sleep method then I would not get him dependent on it now. Just console him, you could maybe slide the pacifier closer to his face so that he has an opportunity to find it himself.

I was told that until a Baby is 4 months old +, they do not understand, so with that said, I would give the binki and console and cuddle.

I read the same thing as Amy said, until a baby is 4 months old at least, they don't realize it. When they cry, they don't know that you are responding to their cry, they are just crying because something is bothering them - they are tired, wet, hungry, have gas etc. Once they are 4 months then you have to be careful because they start getting conditioned to things. I have a six week old daughter and she does the same thing and I just give it back to her, it soothes her for now and if I don't give it to her then she'll just suck on her hand or thumb, she needs to suck to calm herself and that's totally normal for now. I hope this helps!