Okay moms, I come to your for wisdom yet again.
What do YOU each do to foster a better relationship with your hubby post child.
For instance, how to get it back ON TRACK!.
I'm tired of course and I think my birth controll is supressing my desire for intimacy (sex).
Thank you again, as always, for the great help!
Just remember that becoming a mother does not mean you stop being a wife. The more you have sex the more you will want it. Often I do not feel in the mood, but once we start I always have fun :).
Hopefully you have an understanding Hubby. Unfortunately your feeling for intimacy are going to be met cuddling your baby for quite some time. This is where a wife has to really "work" at keeping husband feeling not neglected and tossed aside. It's not easy, it almost seems unfair, but you do have to learn to spread yourself a little thin every now and then. You love him but when you arent in the mood sometimes pretending "for his sake" will get you there. We do a lot for our kids whether we want to or not, and sometimes you have to dig in and do that for our kids daddy too. Lots of women will disagree with my answer due to feminist ideals, but seriously you cannot neglect the father of your child too much. You gotta cuddle him and do things that make him know you still care, it's very easy to get wrapped up with baby and forget he exists. He gave you that gift, he deserves your appreciation and thanks as well.
We made date night every week a priority. We don't have family around, we hired a good sitter and as daughter got older we used high school and college sitters.
We have rarely missed a date night in our 22 yrs of marriage. Daughter is soon to be 16 and she babysits now.
We guaranteed a sitter $40 for the night because she saved the date for us. Our weekly sitter was $60-$80 but well worth the cost when you think about maintaining your relationship with hubby. Pay CASH and the good sitters call you and have a night saved for you.
You don't alwasy have to do something pricey. Sometimes just getting away for a long stroll and talk with hubby and no children is great!
My daughter averages $12/hr with her sitting now. CASH Depending on your area, that rate could vary.... I'm sure it sounds high for someone in a rural area.
I think this is a common problem. Any chance for some date nights to focus on you as a couple?
Sometimes after a child we need to help ourselves get in the mood. Breastfeeding and birth control can really play havoc on our libido. Maybe you can set aside a special date night for the two of you. Go out to dinner, a movie, flirt, play seductive games, have sex in the back seat. You can also read sex books together. Introduce new rituals into the bedroom routine that you have never done before. Since you are taking birth control pills I guess that you are not breastfeeding. There are different herbs that you can get at a health food store that will help. I like dopa bean. It increases testosterone. I never thought I would be able to tell a difference, but I can. Sometimes if the couple starts out from the very beginning it helps. It always got me aroused when my husband helped with the baby and I got the required "me" time. We are not robots and can not turn it on and off. If this is your first baby then sometimes the motherly instinct is extra strong and it is very difficult to think of much else. Not a problem, you will adjust over time. I know it seems hard to think of much else after being so attentive to the baby for so long but your husband needs attention also. Best wishes to you!
Hi, You got a lot of good responses already but I wanted to get back to the pill issue that you are touching. Exactly the same happened to me. I lost my desire totally and even went to the Dr. as I simply could not explain it. I was on the pill before Baby and did not have the problem. I ended up getting off the pill and it truly helped. I got my feeling back and enjoyed being intimate again. We used condoms and found a kind that was so thin you could hardly feel it.
I hope that helps a little and all the best,
C.
Hi
I always try to remember and rekindle the fabolous feelings of why I fell in love with my gorgeous hubby.Remember that he is exausted too so try to give him some tlc and you will receive it in return.
Congrats on new baby
B.
this might sound funny, but i never turn my hubby away, even if i'm not in the mood. and 9 out of 10 times, i "get there" too. also use condoms, which is sort of fun... feel young. good luck.
