Okay ladies! HELP!
So my Fiance had to leave for over a week on a business trip in Vegas! UGH. We have never been apart like this before. Especially now having a two month old. It is tough on the both of us, but we sooo need it. We have been having issues etc. With a new baby to relationship issues to being tired, trying to buy a house, everything! This will give us a new start. We are being very positive about it.
So here is my question, I want to do something for him, for the both of us. Kind of like a surprise? Something cute, romantic, bring back what i know we have.... I miss "US" before the baby, before the stress of real life kicked in! If that makes sense in any way? We haven't been on an emotional level for quite sometime now. What can i do special when he gets home? I need ideas, anything is appreciated. Keep in mind we have to work around a baby as well. HELP! :(( I am so bad at these kind of things. WHAT CAN I DO??????
My best suggestion would be to go out to dinner together, and then afterwards go somewhere fun, like Dave & Busters, where you can act like teenagers and have fun together.
My husband loves date night at D & B because he gets to play games, and I get to play and we act like we are 16... we laugh and do so much that by the time we come home we are in love all over again!
I gotta say, men don't really care too much about "romantic". If you want passion out of him then all you have to do is give him some passion. Men are very simple creatures. Have your mom or sister pick up baby right before your man is supposed to walk through the door and then meet him at the door naked. Simple. Problem solved. And you can have whoever is watching baby bring him/her back after about two hours so you won't even have to skip a feeding. Easy-peasy! :)
PS: Pick up a copy of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Read it with your heart (not your feminism stuffed head - don't we all have one of those these days?! ;)) and use what she's saying. You'll never have a problem with your man again!
LOL... I agree... Naked at the door it a lovely welcome home (also for random Wed evenings), and cuts straight to the heart of the matter.
For some well rounded romance... a really hot run bath (so it'd cool to the perfect temp by the time it's needed)... a couple glasses of wine/ some sammies for munching... and the baby at _______ rounds out the picture.
I was so going to say what Dyreka said about Dr. Laura! Read that book, and if he finds you sitting on the couch naked reading it when he gets home, you will discover the secret of life!
Ignore all her rhetoric about the womans movement, but know that she has men pegged dead on, and do what she says. Men are very simple, and they don't care if you manipulate them, they know it and they like it, at least mine does!
M.
It's so normal to have issues at this stage in your relationship. My husband and I went through the same thing after both our kids. After I had our first we had a really difficult time. I wasn't sleeping, all of my time was consumed by our baby, he was trying to get used to viewing me as a mother. It took a real toll on us. I applaud you for wanting to put that spark back in your marriage :).
Are you willing to get a babysitter for your infant? If so, a nice dinner at a nice restaurant and maybe a few drinks (if you drink) would be a really nice way to spend an evening. If you don't want to get a babysitter, cook his favorite meal at home. Turn off all the lights and just use candles. Try to avoid JUST talking about the baby or the house. I know it's hard not to, but it makes a HUGE difference. My husband and I try to plan a date night every 6 weeks, at least. We don't talk about the kids at all. I always find out so much more about what's going on his life on those nights. We only started doing date nights after our second child was born. We hit a really rough patch in our marriage and we needed to reconnect as husband and wife, not just mom and dad. I think we're the happiest we've ever been.
OH! One more thing...wear something sexy for him. Put aside the "mom" clothes for a night. It can make a HUGE difference in the way you feel about yourself as well as the way he views you.
HAVE FUN!
My husband and I got this book about 9 years into our relationship. IT's called 101 Nights of Romance by Laura Corn (Might by Korn). We've been together for 21 years so I don't have the book any longer.
It has 101 different romantic things to do. Everything from candle lit picnics in your backyard to overnight getaways. Each page is sealed, so it is a surprise as to what the romantic thing will be. There are pages marked for Him (he choses to do something romantic for you) and pages marked for her (for you to do for him). Each page will have code at the top to tell you if the activity cost money, if it can be done in the day or at night etc.
You can also google ideas.
A baby, especially the first one, puts a lot of strain on the relationship. YOu will make it through, especially if you try to work on your relationship.
Good luck and have fun
I agree with Leslie S. Not that the surprise romp in a hotel is a bad idea but for me, when I felt like we hadnt been "us" after the baby, it was because we were both stressed out and couldn't be young anymore like we used to be. Once we were able to have some time together to laugh and play and just joke around with each other like we used to, it felt like we were "us" again. that being said, sex IS very important for connection too so maybe you can squeeze in both somehow. a playful date where you can be young together again and then some luuurve. :)
Think about things you did before the baby and do things like that. Make his favorite dinner, with wine, and some wild passion afterwards. You don't have to get rid of baby if you don't want to. But if you do, I would have someone come about an hour after he is home, so he has time with the baby first. Though he misses you, he misses his baby as well.
My husband and I used to make sunday night date night. And for the last about 3-4 months we haven't and it's made a HUGE difference in our relationship. So I would suggest pick a night and make that date night. My duaghter is 2, and i am due in 3 months, so we don't always go out, but it might be as simple as getting some cheap take out as a family and watching movies, after kids in bed. . Just doing something the 2 of you once a week will make a HUGE difference.
http://www.simplymodernmom.com/category/project-52/
this blog is called 52 date nights, and moms submit their date night ideas with each post. i'm sure you can get something creative from there
I think that the best thing that you could do to bring back the romance at least for this one evening it to have someone else watch your baby and plan a romantic evening, either at home or somewhere else.
If you don't have anyone that you trust to take care of your baby, then plan a romantic evening, anyway, a nice dinner with candles sort of thing. While the baby is asleep talk about anything that is not related to the baby or everyday living. Tell him, just like you did us, that you miss "US" before the baby came and the two of you agree to have a date night away from the baby at least 1 night/month. Perhaps have a date night even tho the baby is with you more often than that.
Another idea is to write him a romantic letter remembering times that you've had together and telling him how much you miss the "US" time before the baby came.
I suggest that you make time everyday to spend a few minutes with each other relating to each other as a romantic couple. Always hug and kiss before one of you leaves. Tell him often how much you love and appreciate him. Hug him often. Look at him with loving eyes. Hold his hand often whenever it's possible. I suggest this assuming that you did this before the baby came.
Get a babysitter. Rent a hotel room for a couple of hours......surprise your husband!
