Relationship Advice - Plano,TX

I am a female massage therapist and conflict resolution specialist. I would highly recommend a book called Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen. It is the best book on having any kind of a conversation with anyone that I have ever found. This is a book that ALL people should read, even children. I believe it ought to be taught in schools. You can get it from amazon.com and probably a good used copy very inexpensive. Feel free to call me anytime.
T. O'Connor ###-###-####

You have a 4 year old girl who will learn to be a woman from you; how to treat herself, how to let others be treated, how to be in relationships with men, how to have healthy relationships. My mother was married 4 times and NONE of them worked out. She dated a LOT when I was growing up, lived with a guy for a while, the whole shebang. I am working hard to NOT make the mistakes she's made - therapy helped - but it's HARD. I can't stress enough that you have to remember that you AND your daughter are in every relationship you are in.

If you're serious about him and think he might be the one - if you fixed this, would you marry him? - then get some counseling and make things right. I think it's important to pick a direction with this relationship and then go from there. Either make a family with him, or make a family with your daughter.

Good luck, and I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make! Take care.

Hi S., every relationship has defining moments. You don't mention what the situation this summer was about. You mention you don't have trust and faith in him no more for not fully sharing his feelings. Did he cheat on you? Do something illegal? Without knowing the issue it seems like you may be overreacting and you need to apologize to him for that, and lend the olive branch. Tell him how sorry you are, that you love him, think he is great, etc. That may be all the stress of work and the holidays fueled your overreaction but you really love him and think the best of him and would like your relatinship to have a chance. Thank him for trying to be more open and tell him how you are stuck on knowing more. Explain to him you feel if he doesn't give you full disclosure you feel like you cannot trust each other. Promise and (do it) not to get mad regardless of his feelings, that you will understand them, you just need to know that you can be fully open with each other. Hear him out. Caution, sometimes if people have hidden their feelings it is hard to even know what they are feeling. It is not because they don't want to tell you, it's because they haven't thought about it even themselves. You can help each other overcome this with you asking questions and gently taking care of his heart. Best wishes!

I think you have received some good advice. I wanted to commend you for not having moved in with your boyfriend. I think that is awesome! If this relationships is suppose to be a marriage one day, then you should continue dating and working things out. Don't move in with each other until there is marriage. It will be the best thing for all 3 of you. Communication is key to a marriage. Most anything in a marriage can be worked through if you can communicate and laugh with each other. If you think this relationship is worth saving, then you both need to focus on how to communicate with one another. Share your above email with him and maybe the responses you've received. It will show him from an honest stand point where you are coming from and then you can see what he thinks. Good luck! He sounds like a great guy (you pointed out all the great things yourself :)and I hope you can both work through this.

It is hard to give advice when you didn't say what the situation was last summer. Depending on what it is, it could be a deal breaker. You keep saying he is great, but you, also, say lots of negetive things, too. It almost sounds like you want someone to say stay with him even though you don't think that is what's best for you and your daughter. Do not take this relationship any further unless you know for sure you are both in it for the long haul because your daughter could get hurt. I think you are old enough to know if this relationship is good for you or not. It may just be hard to accept the truth. On the other hand, no one is perfect and most men I've known are not too good at the communication part of a relationship. I don't think you should go into a relationship hoping the other person will change because usually they won't and you need to accept people for who they are and if you can't or it's not good for you and your daughter then say goodbye now. Good luck to you. I'm sure you will make the best decision for you and your child.