What do you guys do to keep the "spark" going with your hubby? We have little ones so its not feasible for us to go on weekend getaways. We do the occasional "date nite" but didn't know if you ladies had any other ideas.
Have quality time after the kiddos go to bed. Thats what my hubby and I do. We work together to get the lil love down to sleep then we will cook a nice meal, add some candles and a movie and cuddle on the couch. If you felt like being nice you could always go and pick out some new lingerie for him and sport it after dinner ;)
Once the kiddos are in bed we have time together. Watch a movie, listen to some music & reminesce (sp?) or even go in the backyard and enjoy a drink in the quiet night together. We give each other lots of little love taps, kisses while the kids are up too. Like when I am cooking he will come up & kiss my neck really quick or we give each other smiles and "air" kisses from accross the room. The little gestures mean so much more for us than a night out.
Write love letters to each other. Take a bath together. Play games together. Cook together
I'd say the biggest contributor to our closeness is cozy nights at home. We do sacrifice an hour or two of sleep, but it is SO worth it. After the kids go to bed, we just hang out next to each other... watch movies or shows sometimes, do chores together, and just talk- for hours! When we do get a chance to go out, there actually isn't a whole lot of bonding time, honestly. We have fun together, but that is not when I feel the spark growing. I prefer our home environment for the growth of our intimacy. We also make love often (once a day on average)- it seems to help our relationship and keep us close, FAR beyond sexual.
We are in the same boat ~ 2 little ones and on top of that he works swing with Mon/Tues off and I work days with Sat/Sun off. We rarely see each other, let alone have time together as a couple.
We do a lot of sexting and flirting. After 16 years together it's nice for him to know that he is still the one I think of randomly throughout the day.
On Friday or Saturday night after I put the boys to bed I take a nice, long hot bath and put on some sexy jammies and then fall asleep on the couch while waiting for him to get home from work :)
He works about 3 blocks from my office so about once a week he will drop by and bring me a coffee on his way to work around 3 pm. I love that few minutes of face to face time with him before he heads to work.
Do you have anyone that could watch the kiddos for a few hours on a saturday afternoon? If so, you could go get a couple's massage. They are fabulous.
We like to golf together. Not very often do we get to, but when we do we always have a great time and "reconnect". We also like to work out together ~ it gets the "spark" back quickly for me. I love to see him all sweaty!! Do you guys have any sports you like to do together?
We are definitely not a very romantic couple so my suggestions may not be what you are looking for, but it works for us :) What did you guys like to do when you were dating? Can you p/u one of your old hobbies together?
And I definitely try to remember to tell him daily how much I appreciate him as a husband and father ~ sometimes by just saying "hey, Thanks for taking such good care of my boys today" or "the house looked great when we got home, thanks for picking it up".
I am also pretty touchy so I am always grabbing at him :)
We cuddle after the kids go to bed, watch movies together, maybe work on something together, chat about our days, and make sure to have some bedroom fun! You might want to buy some "things" to use behind closed doors to spice things up a bit...that's always fun!
try something new together because apparently that sparks something in the relationship like what was happening during the dating days.
also i try to remember to chill out (sometimes i get upset over little things that wouldn't bother me before) and i have found strangely enough that this helps with the spark.
i like the other poster's suggestion of a little touch or kiss when he walks by. good luck!
use an old lipstick to write "xoxo" or "i love you" on the bathroom mirror for him to find... leave the lipstick out so he can write you a message back (i remember my parents doing this)
got news for you, ladies! It's just not the "little ones" who can put off a mood!
Try having a houseful of teenagers....doesn't matter how comfortable you & your husband are in your expression of love/sex/etc. Just try having time together when you have teens in/out of the house....at all hours!
Currently our 23y.o. son is living with us as he rebuilds his life after a hip replacemnt surgery. He was working late....out of state....& called & said we wouldn't see him until the next day. My husband leaves for work at 4am, & we were "up" & .....guess who walks in thru the front door.....right in the middle of .......!!! What a riot....my husband was cussing, my son was grossed out/exhausted from being up almost 24 hours......&...oh, well! We thought we had the house to ourselves - hah!
Soooo, don't be thinkin' it's going to change or get easier as the kids get older! You simply have to find a comfort level.....& as for keeping that spark going.....I find that humor makes life so much easier. Find humor, keep the mood light, & everybody will be happier/freer to express themselves!
Put on a real lock with an honest to god key. Swear to bob guys do not like the idea of a kid walking in. We have never lost the spark, mostly due to things like the advice you have already received. Still when we put a lock on our older daughters door so the younger ones wouldn't destroy it when she went away to college we decided to put one on our door as well.
Best ten bucks I ever spent!!!!
@Sue, my older two are very good about telling us exactly when they will be home. Not because of rules or curfew but because they, as they put it, "can't afford the therapy needed to remove that scene from their minds" if they accidentally showed up while.....
we do a lot of lunch time boogy.
